The Sorrow

  Chapter 17: Descent

  “If you see this man please do not confront him. Call the police immediately. Jack Mercer is considered to be armed and extremely dangerous. We need your help to bring him to justice.”

  I listened emotionlessly to the radio in my car. I suspected that it would happen eventually. The police had finally cracked and had given me up. Or maybe a better explanation was that now that Anthony Cornero was gone, and the mob was no longer a threat, the opportunists in the force saw it as the right time to put an end to me. I had half a mind to let them take me. But I had no intention of being made to stay alive.

  I looked ahead into the cold and the stormy sky. I watched the heavy rain descend. I wondered if it would ever stop. I was no longer able to weep. I no longer remembered what it felt like to live. I had less than nothing. I eyed the gun on the seat next to me. I wanted to do it. At the same time I fought against the temptation. When would be the right time? Jess was dead. I had always known, but had instead accepted a false truth. It seemed so obvious in that moment that she had always been dead. What else had I been expecting? Had Sarah not told me clearly, a very long time ago, that the police had identified the body? I had deluded myself. I had embraced the foolish agony of hope. As I watched the rain strike the earth, I knew that I made a selfish choice. I had done it all so that I could have held onto a will to live. In the end, it all had been for nothing more than my own revenge.

  I could not even remember the phone call with my daughter. How it had begun, what had been said or what I had felt. I closed my eyes and sank into my seat. It was just a matter of time until I would be caught. With the mob out of the way and a city-wide manhunt for me in full effect, I had nowhere left to turn. It was a matter of time. But I would have rather died than waited another hour. I would rather die than decay behind steel bars. I would rather die than cling to life.

  The demon hissed at me. It demanded the blood that it was still owed. I opened my eyes. I had nothing left. Nothing left but to kill the last two men who had been involved in my family’s murder. I fished the slip of paper Kenway had given me out of my pocket. Three men had broken into my home to kill my wife and daughter. One of them was dead. Two remained. Two more lives, and then it was over. Then I could die. My family would be avenged. I took out my phone.

  I dialled the number.

  It began to ring. I crushed the mobile phone to my ear, waiting to hear a voice. The seconds stretched on. I waited, unsure of what was meant to happen. I could not feel my heart beating, yet I had a shiver in my spine with each second that passed. I jerked in shock as the call connected. I dared not to speak. I heard breathing on the other end of the line. The world ceased to move. And then I ended the silence. The demon’s rage spread through my body and eroded all doubt.

  “This is Jack Mercer. Nathan Kenway and Anthony Cornero are dead. Whoever you are, wherever you are, know that the two of you will die as well. When I find you, and I will, I would hope that you’ve made your peace with God.”

  I waited with an agonising stillness.

  “Then I guess we’ll be seeing you, Jack.”

  The line went dead. I gripped the steering wheel hard and gritted my teeth with venom. A surge of anger erupted inside of me, so overpowering that I buckled under its might. I would fucking kill them. I’d fucking tear them apart with my bare hands. My breathing went rapid. My vision blurred. The anger was so immense that I succumbed to it. I fought for control while the demon laughed on. The inside of the car became hot. I needed the cold and the rain. I gripped the car door handle and shoved it open, coughing as I stumbled out onto the pavement. I leaned my hands against the car and tried to focus. I tried to bring Jess to the forefront of my mind to calm me down. But she was gone. She was dead. I was never getting her back. The anger intensified. I saw red.

  And it dawned on me then that I did not know where to look. The last two men on earth who were responsible for destroying my world were still out there, and I did not have an inkling of an idea as to where to find them. I grabbed my phone off the seat and hit redial in desperation. It went straight to voice mail. I had lost my only connection. I dropped the phone. My hands balled into fists so tight that it hurt. A vein popped in my neck and my body convulsed. The fatigue, the hunger, the thirst, the unbearable pain in my chest - it all blended into overwhelming anger and sorrow. I stepped out onto the road. The rain came down hard.

  A ringing went off in my ears. I saw a flash of white; silver stars.

  A tremor swept through the ground.

  I felt light on my feet. My head erupted in pain. I screamed. A shockwave blasted through the entire city. The end had come. And suddenly I saw the buildings begin to crumble. The towers were collapsing around me. Debris rained down; caught aflame. There was a roaring. A great big rush of noise. White light engulfed the world. And I saw Hell’s true face.

  Nicole was dead. Jess was dead. Jack was dead.

  The Reaper remained.

  And it wanted more blood still. I saw the creature. I saw its true face once more, there in the shadows; in the pale grave of the dead city. A black wraith with horrible teeth like daggers and searing white eyes. Its fierce grin was a mockery. It reached towards me with skeletal hands, and the darkness engulfed all light. Its claws gripped my body, and it claimed my body. It whispered to me. It whispered to me the most horrible of truths. It told me what I was. I was not a father or a husband. I was not a killer. I was not a man. I was it. I was an emissary of death. I was sorrow. I was pain. And I belonged to it. The Reaper demanded its claim to what remained, and I wanted to let it.

  No.

  An inkling of what had been there before was still within reach; a feeble whisper. And it told me the one final truth: Jess was dead, but I had not avenged her. I wasn’t finished yet. I still had work left to do. There were two men left, and they needed to die. I’d make them confess to what they had done to my baby. I’d fucking kill them. I would scrape the flesh off their bones. I would burn them to ash. I would watch them beg for mercy while I forced them to pay for it; to suffer for every second that I had. Only when I killed them could I finally rest. The world rebuilt itself; slowly and meticulously. The demon’s clutches withdrew with reluctance. Clarity set in. I was in control once more.

  I fell against my car and just let the rain seep into my skin as I breathed. I let myself get lost in the cold and the wind. I waited minutes until I felt a calmness return to me. I breathed. It took a long time to regain my composure, and to feel any threads of life. I focused my mind on what was to come. I set my mind to work. There was but one final act. I needed to find the two remaining killers. I had to draw them out. But how? And who would know where to find them? I got back into my car and shielded my face from the public eye as I contemplated. I reached for my phone, but with a jolt I realised that I had dropped it just outside. It would be soaking wet. I had been negligent. I opened the car door to retrieve it, and froze in place with my hand outstretched. Memories washed over me like liquid, and I suddenly had a way forward.

  The anonymous source.

  I had forgot. He still had a part left to play. It was time to find out whether he was an ally or an enemy. Whoever he was, he had known all kinds of things about the city’s biggest crime lords. He had been a watcher in the dark to all the vile secrets the city held. I had to enlist his help to find the two killers. He had to know something. There would be no one else to turn to. The only problem was that I did not know how to reach him. Somehow I had to draw him out. With the mob out of the picture, surely it was now safe enough to approach? But I had no means of contact. I tapped my steering wheel in thought. I had to do something. There had to be a way to get his attention. But what? How could I send him a message? How could I let him know that it was time?

  I hit the wheel in frustration and swore as my hand rung. I ran my hands through my air. Once again, I was at a loss as to what I had to do. I just knew that the anonymous source was my last hope, and I was runnin
g out of time to find the two killers. With them being alerted to the fact that I was coming, they were surely taking precautionary measures already. That was assuming they wouldn’t escape the city place before that. I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands. I didn’t have the answer. I didn’t fucking have the answer. But I had to act now. I eyed the gun next to me. I had only less than one clip left. I turned the car on.

  I knew what had to become of me.

  I had to enlist the demon’s aid. One final time. I needed it to take control. It laughed in response; an ebbing mockery.

  And I began my descent.