Forgiveness and Permission

  North tucked his head back at hearing this. “What the hell does it matter?”

  “I want to know which one is going to try to hit me. It’s you, isn’t it?”

  “Mr. Anderson,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “Please?”

  Henry frowned. He nodded toward the mantle. “See that?”

  North snapped his head toward the fireplace. The white marble mantle had a collection of photographs on top of it. North stood, crossing the room, looking onto smiling faces. Four men with one woman. It was the same woman in every photograph, with blue eyes and blond hair, and a body only Sang rivaled. She had a harsh look to her face, her eyes were smiling but she’d been through a lot and it haunted every picture. The haunted smile was something she also shared with Sang. “There’s just pictures. Of you and her and I guess the rest of your team.”

  Henry nodded. “Yes. Us. Our team. And no one else.”

  North spun around, confused.

  Mr. Blackbourne was still sitting on the couch, a curious look but also not amused. North knew this look. When it came to family business, their team reveled in frankness, not games. “Maybe you should tell us what we’re missing. This is why we’re here, after all. We want our bird to join our team.”

  “Are you ready to make that commitment?” Henry asked. “You’re both really young. There’s lots of girls out there.”

  “Not like her,” North muttered, unbidden.

  Henry snapped his fingers, pointing at North. “I knew it. You do love her.” He motioned to the couch again. “Stand behind that thing so I know you’re not going to hit me.”

  North frowned and was tempted to hit him anyway but Mr. Blackbourne shot him a wordless command. Obey so maybe he’d shut up and get on with it.

  North circled the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest. This had better be good.

  Henry beamed. “But notice how it’s always her. No other girls.”

  “So you’re saying if we’re a bunch of dogs and we adopt a bird, we can’t bring another bird in?” Mr. Blackbourne asked.

  “That’s half right. Yes. One bird.” Henry leaned in, sitting on the edge of the couch. He pointed a finger at his knee in a repeated motion to make his point. “One girl. Not more. Everyone in your group has to agree. No more birds.”

  “You mean brought into the group?” Mr. Blackbourne asked. “Officially?”

  Henry grinned, glancing back at North. “I mean in any capacity. In or out of the group.”

  North shoved a couple of fingers over his eyebrow, rubbing. “What are we supposed to do? Become monks?"

  Henry shook his head, smirking. “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

  “Maybe you can clear that up for us,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “What are we missing here?”

  Henry twisted his lips, he pointed to a spot beyond North’s shoulder. “Look over there.”

  North spun, ready to bellow at the guy for playing another game. Was Henry worried he was going to stare at him too hard?

  The bookshelf behind him also contained pictures. These were different, in silver frames instead of lacquered wood. It was the same woman, the same blue eyes, the same haunted smile. They were wedding photos.

  And in each one was one of the different dogs in the tuxedo. He checked and rechecked the different ones, the dots not connecting for several minutes.

  They weren’t the same wedding. They were separate weddings.

  Their bird had married all the dogs.

  “What is this shit?” North barked before he could stop himself. He turned on Henry, gesturing toward the photos. “What are you saying? We all have to marry her?”

  “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. Our bird wanted to.”

  North’s mouth popped open. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Henry leaned forward again, the gleefulness gone. “The only way to keep a bird in an all dog group is if all the dogs are happy with her. When they all love her, that’s when she can be official without a problem.”

  North blanked out, staring off at the fireplace. He was full of shit. That doesn’t happen. That can’t be the way it works.

  “You mean it’s the way your team decided to handle it. It’s the way it worked for you,” Mr. Blackbourne said.

  “I’m telling you, it’s the only way it works.”

  “You couldn't have all married her,” North said, calling on his bullshit. “It’s not legal.”

  “She didn’t care about that,” Henry said, shaking his head. “She just wanted the show. We did it for our families. We never officially did anything. The state still knows her by her maiden name.”

  North pushed his fingers together at the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache building. “So your answer is everyone in your group agrees to ...” He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t say the words.

  “Love her or lose her,” Henry said. “It’s all or nothing. Everyone falls in love with her and she falls in love with everyone.” Henry leaned in again. “How strong is your bond with your team? Are you really willing to share everything you have? Even if it includes her?”

  North felt the start of a growl in his throat. It wasn’t what he was saying, it was the way he was saying it. Challenge dripped from his words not only about how he felt about Sang, but how he felt about his family. “We share her now.”

  “But not like this, I bet. And you still have to make sure she loves all of you. A couple of dog groups got close, but when she figured out what was going on and what they were trying to do to her, she flipped out on them. Said it wasn’t normal. Said she was in love with one and not the others.” He laughed, shaking his head. “No, it’s a once in a million years thing. The Academy fought us every step. They tested us for ages. They were sure we were simply young and stupid and we’d eventually get jealous of each other.”

  “How did it happen? Were you told to do this? Did you know what you were doing?”

  Henry shook his head. “Of course not. We were an all dog team trying to bring in a girl from a broken home. We requested adoption and put in a request for extra time with her. She was hurt bad by her family. We didn’t want to scar her. It was unusual circumstances.”

  “But how did you realize that was the right way?”

  Henry’s slight grin reappeared. “It was all of our mistakes. What we thought of later how we had been mistaken. We told ourselves we wouldn’t touch her. No one goes near her. Not in that way. That was the rule.”

  North swallowed. That sounded familiar.

  “Murphy’s Law I guess. Tell someone not to fall in love with someone else, and they do it anyway. Only by the time we figured out the others were in love with her, we were neck deep in an assignment we couldn’t get out of. And she was at the heart of it.”

  “What did you do?” Mr. Blackbourne asked.

  He couldn’t be serious. North was sure he was asking to humor the man. He couldn’t really be considering this.

  “We had to come to an agreement. At first we’d all vie for her attention. Whichever one she said she loved, that one would run off with her. What we didn’t know was she already loved us. All of us.” He frowned. “And it tore her apart to tell us. She kept it to herself. She thought we wouldn’t believe her. She was sure we’d kick her out for daring to suggest it. She tried to encourage us to date other girls. Of course we weren’t listening, but sometimes we said we did just to make her happy. Only she wasn’t happy.”

  “And now?” Mr. Blackbourne asked. “You’re all still together.”

  Henry nodded. “Yes. We’re still together. We still work for the Academy. She’s still here. She’ll never leave us and we’ll never leave her. And that’s the only way it works. Share her or lose her.” He gazed over the back of the couch at North. “How much do you love your bird, Mr. Taylor? What happens when Mr. Blackbourne here tells you one day he loves her, too? Do you care enough about him and her to not let it bother you? Knowing she loves you both?”

  “Did anything else help?” Mr. Bla
ckbourne asked, cutting North off before he could open his mouth with a response. “

  Henry grinned. “You’re talking like you’re already okay with this and you can’t wait to get started.” He sighed, his shoulders shifting up. “I can tell you how to avoid problems. Rule one, split your time equally. I don’t mean when you’re together and with the others. I mean if you’re dating her, Monday, let someone else date her Tuesday. It creates bad vibes when you take her over for a week. I mean sometimes that’s okay but don’t think you can keep her to yourself for too long. And in a way, it’s a good thing with us. When she comes back to me, she’s missed me and it grows our relationship.”

  “So schedules are important.”

  “Right. And don’t let her neglect the others, either. It’s easy for her to get cozy with one or two and forget to pay attention to the others. Whoever she’s with, she’ll try to make that one happy.”

  “What else?”

  Henry sat back again, rubbing at his chin. “Let’s see. I think it would be easier if everyone agreed from it right from the start. Right when you find out someone else loves her. Bring that one in on your plan. That way there’s no hurt feelings ahead of time when someone discovers her kissing one of the others somewhere.” He smiled. “We were real idiots back then. Oh, the fights we had about that.”

  “Should we tell her?”

  “Mr. Blackbourne,” North uttered. He’d heard enough. He was crazy! It could never work. Could he ever share her with all of them? Did he love her so much that he could look the other way if he ever saw her kissing Kota? Or Silas? He didn’t mind her sitting in their laps. He had thought once maybe he should have, but he didn’t know how he felt about her and she was so scared all the time, that he didn’t care who she sat with. If he couldn’t be there for her, he was glad Luke or Nathan or the others held on to her.

  But kissing her? Or saying they loved her? Going that far?

  Henry had been right. It was impossible.

  He didn’t even know if she loved him back yet.

  Henry laughed. “I think you should wait to find out if your team can handle this or not. Until then, you really shouldn’t lead her on. I mean, don’t be unfriendly to her. Try to win her over and do nice things with her. Just don’t take it too far. I think the best way is to get her to admit she loves you first. Then you know.”

  That sounded familiar, too.

  Mr. Blackbourne tilted his head back. “So we tell each team member that the only way to keep our bird with us would be if everyone loves her. But we only tell them this when we’re sure that person has fallen for her.”

  “Right. It has to be all or nothing. Not unless you want to tear your group apart. I would make it a vote. When you figure out you love her and are willing to sacrifice exclusivity you should put that vote in. When all votes are accounted for, when you all agree you can share her, then swoop in on her and show her you love her. Well maybe not all at once. Do it gentle.”

  “And we have to approach the Academy managers with this information?”

  “You tell them you all love her, and have to prove it, and that she loves you. Then ask to bring her into your group. If you try to do it before, and sometimes even after, other groups are going to get curious and come check her out. And believe me when I say when other dog groups hear about this, they’re going to want to talk to her, to sniff her out and try to bribe her away.”

  “She wouldn’t leave us,” North said.

  “You better make sure before you set your heart on it.” Henry tucked an arm across the back of the couch. “How many is in your group anyway?”

  “Nine,” Mr. Blackbourne said.

  Henry’s eyes widened and he nearly choked. “You’re shitting me. Nine? And one bird? I thought you had three, maybe four or five. Nine?” He shook his head. “No. You guys are crazy. This will never work for you.”

  “What we needed to know was how,” Mr. Blackbourne said, standing. “You’ve been very helpful. Could we call you with follow-up questions?”

  “Hell, yeah. If you actually try, I want to hear about it. Don’t come back crying when it doesn’t work out though. I’ve warned you.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Anderson.” He stepped forward, his hand out. “I hope we haven’t disturbed you and your family too much this evening.”

  “Always a pleasure to gain a favor from such a capable dog pack.” Henry shook his hand back. “Good luck with her. I mean it.”

  “Are you happy?” North asked. He hadn’t meant to ask this. Maybe Mr. Blackbourne’s interest was catching. Now that the shock was over, North was curious, too. “Are you satisfied sharing her?”

  A quiet smile dropped across Mr. Anderson’s face and North thought it was the most sincere look he’d given all night. “Son, I’ll tell you this now, and I mean every word of it. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. I would do it all again for her. And them. They’re happy, too. I didn’t think I would be. I thought for sure ... but it can work if you want it to. And when it does, it’s beautiful.”

  North’s resistance started to taper off into a simmer. Could it be so simple? And so impossible? The way to keep a bird in the family was for everyone to fall in love with her. And there were nine of them. No, that was stupid. He’d have to keep her out of the Academy. He’d find another way.

  Or maybe they’d become a couple team. The Academy didn’t care for that as much, but if it was the only choice he had ... but could he leave the team he loved? The one he swore on his own life to stand by forever with? What did his promise mean if he couldn’t keep the one to his own family? Could he leave his brother for Sang?

  On the ride home, North stared off into the dark, afraid to look at his phone, afraid to think of her face like he usually did. A barrier had inserted itself there, masking his mind and heart. Could he allow her to be shared like that? Would she even want it? Their group was special. No one would really understand. They’d been through a lot. Like war buddies. More than that, because the wars they fought weren’t some nameless people out in the middle of a desert or jungle. They were their own siblings, fathers and mothers. Like Sang and her parents. They protected each other from relatives not fit enough for the loyalty they gave each other.

  And they'd been trying to bring Sang into that. He realized that was his first mistake. It was Kota’s actually. He’d introduced Sang to all of them, somewhat on accident. North had been sure Kota would have asked them to back off, claiming her as his girlfriend. Or someone would. She was too perfect.

  Oh god, he was thinking about her. He was seeing her face now. He couldn’t help it. He wanted to tear open his head and rip the image from his mind for a couple of hours of peace, so he could figure out how he really felt about this.

  “North,” Mr. Blackbourne said next to him, driving closer to home. “We need to call a family meeting.”

  “I don’t think we should.”

  Mr. Blackbourne lifted an eyebrow. “Are you saying now that you know you love her that you’re unwilling to share? Or have you given up on that?”

  North grumbled. “Are you saying you’re considering it?” He hid a small smile, happy that for once he was throwing some of his own psychological bullshit back at him.

  Mr. Blackbourne was quiet for so long that North thought perhaps he wasn’t going to answer. Mr. Blackbourne shuffled into his pocket, retrieving his phone. He flicked at it while he drove. He selected a picture, holding it up and showing it to North.

  North gazed at the image of Sang, smiling as she was wedged against Nathan. Mr. Blackbourne slid to the next picture, showing Kota and Sang together. The next was the one Silas and North had taken, with Sang looking incredibly happy as the two of them pretended to kiss her cheeks at the same time.

  As happy as North had ever seen her. It was the way she looked when they were around lately. It was what drove him to finish his work early when he could, just to be back by her side, if she let him.

  “I believe it’s already happening,” Mr.
Blackbourne said, surprising North. “And as far as sharing her, as far as what Mr. Anderson said about no other team being able to do it ... I’m more than sure we could.”

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  READ AN EXCERPT FROM THE NEXT BOOK IN THE ACADEMY SERIES

  The Academy

  Drop of Doubt

  Year One

  Book Five

  Coming January 2014

  by C. L. Stone

  UNDER THREAT

  OF A BIRTHDAY

  My phone buzzed to life in my bra.

  My head shot up from the English text book we were supposed to be reading. Kota had his head bent over his desk in front of me and didn’t appear to notice. I was afraid to glance at Gabriel in case I was going to distract him. I wasn’t sure what Luke was doing behind me but since he wasn’t messing with my hair and he hadn’t nudged me in a while, he must actually be reading, or maybe he was wrapped up in another day dream.

  I didn’t like having my phone out in class, but the only people who had my number were Academy guys. They wouldn’t send a text during class unless it was an emergency.

  I slipped the phone out of the cup of my bra and used Kota’s back as a shield just in case I drew attention from Ms. Johnson, the English teacher.

  Victor: Isn’t your birthday this week? What do you want for your birthday?

  My mouth fell open. Victor! That wasn’t an emergency.

  I was tempted not to answer him. I checked the date on the phone. He was right. My birthday was in a few days. I hadn’t noticed. It was also not important right now.

  My fingers hovered over the illuminated keyboard. It was hard not to respond back. It felt rude. I simply didn’t know what to say.