Switchy

  “I don’t think any rational human being would blame you for feeling like that. I sure don’t.”

  She blew out a long breath. “Sorry. You’re here trying to relax and I’m playing Eeyore.”

  “That’s all right. Eeyore’s my favorite.”

  She offered him a sad, all-too-familiar smile that painfully twisted like a knife in his gut.

  Danger.

  Yes, they’d been to grief counseling. Garrison had ordered him.

  He knew he couldn’t paint her with the Janis brush. It wasn’t fair to Em or to himself or even to Garrison.

  After another moment, she finally stood. “Thanks again for the ear. I’ll bring beer or something next time.” Another smile.

  He stood. “Eh, once we get a new fridge.”

  She turned and looked through the open kitchen door at the now duct-taped beast. “Uh—ohhh. Is that the source of the funk?”

  He laughed. “Yes, exactly. I think it went kaput, because the power wasn’t turned off for the food to spoil.”

  “Oh. Wow.”

  “It’ll go on to that appliance graveyard in the sky and we’ll get a brand new one in here that’s never been funkified.”

  * * * *

  Em knew exactly what she was doing. She was stalling the return to her house so she didn’t have to deal with what was going on there.

  Something akin to World War II, only a little less civil.

  Em had tapped out when her mom had tried to home in on her and accused her of trying to get her institutionalized to get control of her money.

  Em knew at that point she needed to leave before she said something she couldn’t take back, and she managed not to slam the door behind her. But she hadn’t taken keys or her phone or purse with her, so she really didn’t have a lot of options.

  Until she saw the car next door and found her feet carrying her in that direction.

  Jarred was a nice guy, a cutie for sure. Garrison was a lucky guy.

  But yeah, odiferous funk or not, it felt peaceful over here in a way her house didn’t and hadn’t for too damn long.

  She wasn’t sure her house would ever feel peaceful again after all of this. Even once her parents moved out. Not with all the memories she now had of the emotional power struggles with her mom.

  At least Don and Amy, upon their arrival, had given her shame-faced apologies for originally siding with their mom three years ago. Apparently their mom had played them, too, assuring them that Em had volunteered for them to move in with her.

  Her mom, of course, vehemently denied their version of events despite Amy and Don telling pretty much the exact same story, word for word.

  Em didn’t know, didn’t even care anymore what the truth was.

  All Em wanted was peace. The ability to relax in her bed and not worry about someone knocking on her door five minutes later, wondering where she was and what she was doing.

  Not cringing any time she heard her cell phone ring or vibrate and saw it was her home number.

  “If you need any help cleaning tonight, I’d be glad to stay and help you,” she offered.

  “I appreciate that, but actually, I was getting ready to close everything up and head home. Sorry. If you’d come over about an hour ago, you could have been elbows-deep in scrubbing bubbles in the guest bathroom.”

  “Would have been more fun than what I’m dealing with.”

  She finally made her way back home to find her siblings and her father gathered around the dining room table and her mother nowhere in sight.

  “Did she slam the door when she flounced?” Em asked as she gently closed the front door behind her.

  “I’m surprised you didn’t hear it,” her dad said. “It was a real window-rattler.”

  “I take it she’s not taking well to the news.”

  “No. And tough. I’m done caving to her.”

  She slid into a seat at the table. “Look, Jarred—”

  “Who?” her dad asked.

  “The guy next door. He brought up a valid point. Even if her doctor doesn’t find a medical reason for her behavior, maybe there’s a psychological one going on. Maybe it’s time to get her into counseling. Maybe how she’s acting is in response to all of the changes life threw at her, and she’s trying to hold on to me as some way of keeping control of her life.”

  “We’ll definitely put that on the list,” her dad said.

  By the time they finished dinner, dishes were done and put away, and her brother and sister left, their mom still hadn’t emerged from their room.

  Em refused to feel guilty about that, either. In fact, she made a point of not going anywhere near their bedroom door. Her dad could deal with her.

  She was going to retreat to the master bedroom, lock herself in, take a long, hot shower, and then maybe have a glass of wine before bed.

  Screw it. She detoured back to the kitchen to pour herself that glass of wine sooner rather than later.

  * * * *

  Garrison had leftovers heated up and waiting when Jarred returned home to their apartment.

  “Hey, buddy.” Garrison walked over and kissed him hello, scruffing the nape of Jarred’s neck with his hand. “You all right?” He could tell from the shadows in Jarred’s sweet brown eyes that he wasn’t.

  Jarred dropped to his knees there in the entryway, his forehead pressed against Garrison’s bare feet. “I’ve had better days.”

  Garrison bent over and stroked Jarred’s hair. “Talk to me.”

  “I need to unplug.”

  “What happened?”

  Jarred let out a sigh. “Em came over while I was at the house and we were talking for a little while. She really reminds me of her.”

  Jarred didn’t need to clarify who.

  Garrison knew exactly who he meant.

  “Ah.” Garrison gently raked his nails along Jarred’s scalp. “I noticed that, too.” Garrison firmly gripped a handful of Jarred’s hair and tipped his head back so he could look into Jarred’s eyes. “You need to eat dinner first, then a shower, then I’ll take care of you. Okay?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Garrison stroked his hair. “I’m sorry I can’t do more for you.”

  “I know. It’s okay. Ditto.”

  He helped Jarred up off the floor and pulled him in for another hug and kiss. “One day at a time.”

  Jarred nodded.

  After dinner and a shower, Jarred didn’t bother putting on clothes. Instead, he headed for their bedroom and knelt at the end of the bed, bent over it, legs spread, waiting.

  One thing that sucked about being in an apartment was the fact that they had to be quiet. Last thing they wanted was a neighbor calling the police thinking there was a domestic violence incident going on or something.

  Garrison had pulled a riding crop out of their implement bag. Something stingy, but not too loud in terms of drawing attention. He reached down and pinned Jarred to the bed by the back of the neck with his left hand.

  “Ask me for it, Jare.”

  “I need it. Please.”

  Garrison stroked the back of Jarred’s thighs with the riding crop, up and over his ass, back down again, before he paused.

  Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap. Whap.

  Hard, fast, stingy strokes, as hard as Garrison could deliver them, along Jarred’s ass and the backs of his thighs. Strokes that immediately raised long, red welts everywhere they’d landed and would result in marks lasting a couple of days.

  Jarred’s body tensed, even rising up on his toes, but making no move to escape.

  Garrison set the riding crop aside. With his left hand still firmly clamped around Jarred’s neck, Garrison started biting his way up and down Jarred’s back, his ass, his legs, the backs of his arms. From the way the man squirmed on the bed, Garrison could tell subspace had been achieved with the first series of strokes from the crop.

  Garrison preferred using his body to implements for his sadism, but lots of bare-handed spanking might not go unnoticed by their neig
hbors. Once they were alone in their own house, however, they could finally be free to be more open.

  Garrison sat up, made a fist with his right hand, and pummeled Jarred’s ass and upper thighs with it. Finally, he reached between Jarred’s legs and found the man’s cock already rigid, pre-cum leaking from the head. Slicking Jarred’s juices up and down his shaft, Garrison stroked him, hard, relentlessly.

  “You want it, you come for me or you can hold it.”

  Jarred’s fingers fisted the covers as he worked his hips in time with Garrison’s hand jerking him off. It didn’t take long for his cock to harden even more as the man’s body went stiff, his cry of pleasure muffled against the sheets as his cum coated Garrison’s hand.

  Garrison finally released Jarred’s neck and rolled onto his back, Jarred grabbing Garrison’s right hand and licking him clean before going down on him. Jarred deep-throated him, moaning as Garrison grabbed him by the hair and started fucking his hips against Jarred’s face, driving his cock deep into the other man’s throat.

  Jarred matched him motion for motion, shoving Garrison’s thighs wide apart and holding on. He desperately tried to suck Garrison’s balls dry, using every trick that talented tongue and lips knew to get him over, until Garrison couldn’t hold it any longer and rewarded him with a mouth full of cum.

  Only then did his grip on Jarred’s head loosen. Jarred kissed the insides of Garrison’s thighs before climbing up his body, wrapping his arms around him, and rolling them to their sides with Garrison nestled against him.

  A content sigh escaped Jarred. “Thank you.”

  “My turn tomorrow,” Garrison mumbled against his chest.

  Jarred’s fingers stroked his back, his chin rubbing against the top of Garrison’s head. “Of course.”

  Garrison was about ready to drift to sleep when Jarred spoke again. “You know, I had a thought.”

  “What?” Garrison mumbled.

  “She’s single.”

  “Who?”

  “Em.”

  Garrison didn’t move. “You don’t even know if she’s kinky, much less if she’s attracted to us.”

  “We know she’s single.”

  “Again. Single isn’t the only prerequisite. For all you know, she might be squicked out by the thought of two guys together.”

  “I don’t think she would have come over to talk if she was. And her boss and friend is gay and married.”

  “We’re not gay. We’re complicated.”

  “Do you like her?”

  Now Garrison lifted his head to look at Jarred. “What, exactly, are you proposing?”

  “I mean, friends. Okay, sure. But…you know. If we can kind of work stuff in. Innocent stuff. Have her over for dinner. Help her with yard work. Wash her car. Just…stuff.”

  He looked like a guilty kid, in an endearingly irresistible way.

  “What happened to consent?”

  “Just helping a friend out.”

  “That’s not just helping a friend out, and you damn well know it.”

  Jarred didn’t answer.

  He reached up and palmed Jarred’s cheek. “I miss her, too. But unknowingly setting up our new neighbor to be a stand-in Domme without her knowledge or consent isn’t how we do things.”

  “We did stuff for Janis all the time.”

  “Uh, yeah, and we were in a relationship with her. She was our owner and our Domme and our partner.”

  “I mean non-kinky stuff. How is this any different?”

  “Because Janis owned us, that’s why. And she knew what was going on.” He leaned in and touched his forehead to Jarred’s. “I know it hurts. I know me standing in part-time isn’t the same. I get it, because I’m in the same boat. But if anything is going to develop with anyone, it has to do so organically. Not because you wish it to happen. You know, if we started going to the munches again—”

  “We can’t.”

  Jarred tried to roll over, away from Garrison, but Garrison penned him in with his arms and held him down. “We can.”

  “Your job.”

  “The issue was never my job, and I kept telling you that. Her job, yes, absolutely. But I’m fine. I’ve got tenure. Unless I get arrested or something, I’m good. We can start meeting up with our friends again. We don’t have to hide out. We start by going to dinner at Tony and Shayla’s Sunday night. I’ll text him tomorrow and accept his invitation.”

  Jarred tried to look away but Garrison reached down and caught his chin and waited until his guy was looking up into his eyes again.

  “It’s going to hurt. I know that. We’re still going to bump into people from time to time who don’t know what happened. And that’ll hurt, too. But the only way to get through it is to start building up calluses against it. To deal with it in baby steps. Hiding and trying to seduce a woman we don’t even know is not a healthy alternative.”

  He caught Jarred’s left hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing the wedding band there. Garrison wore Janis’ rings on a chain around his neck because he couldn’t bear to part with them long enough to have them resized to fit even his pinky.

  “We’re always going to love her. We’re always going to miss her. But she ordered us to move on.” He laced fingers with Jarred. “Maybe one day we’ll find someone else. Maybe we won’t. But we’re disobeying her if we don’t reconnect with our friends.”

  He didn’t begrudge Jarred wearing the wedding band. If they’d had enough time, they would have had a second, private ceremony where she would have put one on Garrison, too. But they hadn’t. And money had been so tight at the time, with everything needed for her treatments, that…

  Garrison shoved the thoughts away. They always led to dark places.

  Jarred finally nodded.

  Garrison leaned in and kissed him. “We just keep switching it up when we can. I’ll lean on you, you lean on me. Just like we’ve been doing. Maybe we’ll get lucky. Maybe we won’t. But we have to start somewhere, and if you trust me, you’ll follow my lead.”

  Jarred nodded again. The tears in his eyes broke Garrison’s heart.

  He lay down and this time gathered Jarred against him, and that’s how they fell asleep.

  Chapter Six

  Early Wednesday evening, Garrison met Jarred at the house with the borrowed appliance dolly and they got the stove and the fridge moved out of the kitchen and into the Dumpster. Next came the mattresses and box springs from the beds.

  Those tasks accomplished, Jarred closed the end of the Dumpster and latched it. “Thanks. I can get the rest myself, I think.” He had tomorrow and Friday off, then he had to work over the weekend. So tomorrow and Friday, Jarred would be there trying to get as much done as he could. Next Monday would start Jarred’s three days of vacation time, followed by two regular days off.

  “What about the kitchen cabinets?” Garrison asked.

  “I’m going to pull out the carpet first. That will allow me to plan the flooring better, plus I can get the painting done before we put the new flooring in.”

  “If you wait to do the cabinets until I can help you, we can just unscrew them and carry them out.”

  Jarred grinned. “I already bought a sledgehammer and a crowbar.”

  “Ah. Not even going to try to salvage them?”

  “Nope. I need to do this.”

  “Fair enough. Want to grab dinner on the way home? I’m in the mood for sushi.”

  “That sounds like a plan.” They locked up the house and Jarred was a little disappointed he didn’t see Em’s car next door.

  Once they were at the restaurant and had put their orders in, Garrison reached across the table and took Jarred’s hands in his.

  “Don’t go projecting on her,” Garrison cautioned. “Em. She seems nice, but we don’t even know her.”

  “That’s spooky.”

  “It’s human. It’s also not fair to her.”

  “What if we become friends with her?”

  “I’m all for that. You know that. I’m
just saying—”

  “I know.”

  “This is the first time I’ve seen a spark of light in your eyes in a long time.”

  “I’m sorry I sort of checked out for a while.” He squeezed Garrison’s hands. “I promised her I’d marry you and you won’t let me.”

  Garrison smiled, his green eyes pulling him in. “I promised her, too. Let’s get through all of this first, okay? This is a lot of change. You still have to officially finish probate and everything with the house.”

  “Mom said the lawyer said it’s only going to be a few more weeks. Why can’t we go to the courthouse and get married?”

  “Because I love you and I know what she told us. I know you’re still in as much pain as I am. Losing her isn’t something we’ll magically heal from overnight just because we get married. I don’t want to screw us up. I was actually thinking about telling you I was ready to take that step when all this came up. I want to make sure your assets are protected, though, before we do that.”

  “They’re yours, too.”

  “No, legally, they’re not.”

  “That’s why she married me, though. So I could marry you later and we’d be okay.”

  “I get that. She made that perfectly clear to me at the time.” Garrison squeezed his hands. “If I didn’t think I could trust you, do you think I’d be here? I trust you. I don’t need a piece of paper between us to tell me I love you any more than you needed one between you and her.”

  “But if something happens to me and we aren’t married, what about—”

  “We have a joint account. The money’s there. It’s ours. Your parents know all about what the three of us had together. We have paperwork from Ed. Your mom and dad aren’t about to screw with anything should something happen. Neither will my folks. I’m not worried about it. Considering the way your mom keeps hinting to me that she wants to plan our wedding, I’m not exactly afraid they’d try to shove me out of the way. If I’m not worried about it, then you shouldn’t be. Let’s get everything settled through probate first. No need complicating things any. Then we can talk to Ed.”

  “You’re too damn logical.” They parted hands and sat back as the waitress returned with their miso soup.