Four Friends

  “Sounds like there might be a reconciliation in the wind,” Andy said.

  “I love Phil. That’s why the idea of another woman has been so hard. It’s like there was a gap in our relationship that he had to fill with someone else, and I didn’t know about it beforehand, when I had a chance to face up to it, do something about it. How am I supposed to handle that?”

  “But you seem to have some ideas now. What it was, what was missing,” Andy said. “He told you he was tempted, he didn’t want to be done with his sex life, and you’re the first to admit that it was a low priority with you.”

  “Yeah, but that’s after the fact. The problem is, I didn’t stand a chance. He never said it was something he needed us to work on. I mean, come on. I can be honest—yes, there were times he suggested sex and I made excuses, but he accepted them so easily, it was like it hadn’t really been that important to him. Maybe I’m not the hot ticket I was when he married me, but I’ve always listened to what Phil had to say. We’ve always been able to figure things out, compromise. But instead of making himself heard, he went outside the marriage, screwed around. I’m not a fucking clairvoyant.”

  Staring straight ahead and walking fast, Gerri’s voice became a little warbly. “I want him home so bad,” she said. “But not until, not unless I can be sure he can level with me, be honest about his feelings. And faithful. My God. I have to believe he’ll be faithful. Is that asking too much?”

  “Of course not,” Andy said. “Gerri, I just don’t get the whole low-sex-drive thing. I love sex. I’d be very vulnerable if I had a partner who wasn’t interested in making love. Am I just plain oversexed? Or is it because I don’t have three kids and a job filled with emotionally draining social-services cases?”

  “Hmm, those things suck a lot out of me, that’s for sure. Doesn’t leave me feeling very sexy.” Then she grinned at Andy. “So, how are you holding up? Need me to buy you a box of batteries for the vibrator to get you through the dry spell?”

  “As a matter of fact, no,” Andy said.

  “Ah,” Gerri said. “Sounds like you upgraded to the plug-in model.”

  “I moved on to the warm, cuddly, kissing model,” she said quietly.

  Gerri stopped walking. “Huh?”

  “I guess you haven’t noticed,” Andy said. “There’s been a vehicle in front of my house some nights....”

  “I haven’t noticed,” Gerri said. “Oh, Andy, what are you thinking? You know it’s too soon after Bryce.”

  Andy resumed walking, leaving Gerri to catch up. “Probably, but I don’t care. My life is different now than when Bryce first materialized. Back then I had a teenager at home, now I barely see him. And even though I know what you’re going to say, this is different.”

  “Bullshit,” Gerri said.

  “Bingo. That’s what I thought you’d say.”

  “It’s too soon, you’re too vulnerable. It’s going to suck you in, lock you up. You know a rebound lover will eventually tear you up, break your heart and send you out looking again.”

  “No,” Andy said.

  “And you’re going to cry and ask me why I didn’t stop you before you got involved.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “I’ve known you for fifteen years and I love you like a sister. You’re nearly perfect in my eyes, but for some reason you can’t make it long without a man in your life. Even if it’s the wrong man,” Gerri said.

  “That’s crap. I didn’t have a guy in my life after Rick, not for two years. A long two years by the way. And after the courtship, Bryce wasn’t all that attentive. But this is different. I swear, it’s something I’ve never experienced before.”

  They both stopped walking and just looked at each other. “I’ve heard that before. What the hell’s so different this time?” Gerri asked.

  “It’s Bob,” Andy said.

  Andy thought the look that came over Gerri’s face was priceless. Her hand went to her chest in a mock heart attack. She took several steps backward, her heel caught on the curb and she fell back onto the grass in a fake collapse. Andy stood over her, hands on her hips, looking down at her with a wry smile. “Very funny,” she said. “That verged on impolite.”

  “Bob?” Gerri asked from a reclining position.

  “Sweet, lovable, precious, highly-evolved-spirit Bob,” Andy said with a grin.

  “Bob, the carpenter?”

  “Oh, stop it!” Andy said, marching away. “Shame on you,” she called out over her shoulder.

  Gerri scrambled to her feet and quickly caught up. “Bob?” she asked yet again.

  “If you keep doing that I’m not telling you why.”

  “Okay, I’m done. Why?”

  “Because he’s the greatest man I’ve ever known. I spent so much time with him while he was working in the kitchen and I adore him. He’s so sane, so giving. He has an understanding of humanity that goes beyond anything I’ve experienced. I had deeper, more meaningful conversations with Bob before I even hugged him than I’ve had with two husbands and at least five boyfriends. I’m completely hooked on the human being he is. He’s just amazing.”

  “He’s five-eight, overweight, bald, withdrawn and a carpenter. Not your usual type,” Gerri said.

  “He’s so totally wonderful. You have no idea. Besides, don’t you think he’s kind of sexy? In his own way? I love his smile, his eyebrows. His hands....”

  “Andy, I’ve known you a long time. Through those two husbands and five boyfriends. By the way it might’ve been five boyfriends, but there was a baker’s dozen that didn’t achieve boyfriend status. Never mind—all of them were very good-looking hard-bodies with impressive jobs and lots of sex appeal. Most were younger than you.”

  “Yeah,” Andy said. “I had no idea what I was missing.”

  “Oh, God, you’ve lost your newly reclaimed virginity to Bob?”

  “You’re pissing me off. I adore Bob.”

  “I’m having an out-of-body experience,” Gerri said. “This isn’t happening. Am I going to have to take you to the clinic, too? What’s going on here? Are you thinking that with someone like Bob you can play it safe? That he won’t have all the same flaws the men before him had?”

  “Oh, for God’s sake, aren’t you listening? It’s not about his looks! But by the way, I find him awfully cute. I know he’s not tall, handsome and muscular—it just isn’t what got my attention. Could I have a little credit for a working brain here? Maybe I finally got smart, ever think of that?”

  “You’ve always been smart,” Gerri said. “You’ve also always been really...what’s a polite word?”

  “Horny?”

  “I’m sure there are more polite words, but that one works. Holy shit, Andy. How old is Bob?”

  “Fifty-three,” she said with a shrug. “How old is Phil?”

  Phil was the same age. “And all the parts are totally functional?” Gerri asked instead of answering the question.

  “If you mean private parts, he’s outperforming the two, the five and the baker’s dozen.”

  “Whoa,” Gerri said, speechless.

  “You can’t judge a book by its cover. And he’s nuts about me.”

  “What does Noel say?”

  “Noel met him in passing during the kitchen work, and I’ve invited him to dinner about four times in the past couple of weeks and he’s been busy. But why should I worry about what Noel thinks? Does he run his personal life by me? I haven’t met a girlfriend since senior prom and I know he’s dating. There has to be more than one reason that apartment his friends have is more appealing than his own home. I’m not looking for Noel’s approval anymore.”

  BJ came up alongside them, winding down from her run, all sweaty and looking slightly euphoric. “Hey. What’s up?” she asked breathlessly.

  “Well, plenty. I’m starting to like my wayward husband again, sort of, and Andy just confessed she’s seeing Bob, the kitchen carpenter,” Gerri said.

  “Just how far do you run every day?”
Andy asked.

  “You know,” Gerri interrupted. “Seeing him. All of him.”

  “I try to do four miles, but I’m happy with three,” BJ said, ignoring Gerri. “It works for me. I think it’s the endorphins. Listen, I’m supposed to get a painter to do some work on the house for the owners. You think Bob could do it?”

  “Want me to ask him?”

  “Yeah, please. That would be great.”

  “You’re renting that place?” Andy asked.

  “Not exactly,” BJ said. “I’m kind of borrowing it. Till I can save a little money. Friends of the family.” Then she looked at Gerri. “You didn’t tell her?”

  Gerri shrugged.

  “The kids’ father is dead and I’m kind of...not capable of a good income. But my brother, who is my employer right now, had friends with so much money they could actually spare one of their rental houses for a while. Eventually I’ll have to find something else.”

  “Wow,” Andy said. “Sure, I’ll check with Bob. He’s a good painter.”

  “Thanks. So, is Sonja doing okay?”

  “She’s doing well,” Gerri said. “I’m going to visit her this week. That shrink, Dr. Kalay, has been terrific—gives me very positive updates when I call her.” They’d come back to their block. “Well, ladies, I’m out of here. Have a good day.”

  Gerri walked to her front door. She shook her head and laughed silently. Bob, she thought. We’re all going a little nuts.

  * * *

  It was not yet nine in the evening when Bob and Andy sat in her bed, each with a book. Beau was curled up on the end of the bed right between their feet. He wasn’t allowed on any other furniture, but he was welcome on Andy’s bed until he was politely asked to get down, then he curled up on the floor at the foot of the bed. Bob let his book drop to his lap and looked up at the ceiling with a heavy sigh.

  “What is it?” Andy asked. “Everything all right?”

  He looked at her with a smile. “I don’t even recognize my life,” he said. “I thought I had the perfect attitude to take me into old age in my sister’s guesthouse, alone. Do you know what it’s like to be here with you, like this, sitting in bed relaxing? Reading? Knowing in a little while we’ll turn off the light and I’ll get to lie beside you all night long? Andy, what are you doing with a guy like me? Are you crazy?”

  She put her book aside and turned toward him, her shoulder on the pillow. “I feel so lucky to be with a guy like you. You turn me on like gangbusters.”

  He patted her thigh. “I’m afraid I’m going to wake up in the psychiatric ward like your friend Sonja. The drugs will finally kick in and they’ll break it to me that it was just a hallucination.”

  “She’s coming home this week,” Andy said. “You know what that means? It’s almost a month you and I have been...you and I.”

  “Pretty remarkable.” His face took on a startled look. “Is that like an anniversary of some kind or something?”

  “Don’t be silly.” She laughed.

  “You have to coach me, Andy. You know I’m not experienced with this sort of thing.”

  “That’s what you keep saying,” she said.

  “There’s something I feel like I have to do pretty soon, if you’re agreeable.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Well, my sister. She didn’t waste any time looking out her bedroom window and noticing that Beau and I are out all night, a lot of nights. I told her I have a girlfriend. Was that presumptuous?”

  “No. You have a girlfriend,” she confirmed.

  “Now she’s after me to bring you around to dinner or something.”

  “I’d love to meet your sister,” Andy said.

  He ran a hand over her curly hair. “She’s gonna just die,” he said. “I’ll try to put her off a while.”

  “You don’t have to do that. I’m not going to disappear on you.”

  “Seems like we should get together with Noel first,” he said.

  “Noel,” she said, turning onto her back. “I told him I’ve been spending a lot of time with you, that I wanted him to have an evening with us, get to know you a little better, and he just brushes me off. He’s way too busy for mother things.”

  Bob laughed. “I vaguely remember nineteen. Your family is the last thing on your mind. There are exciting things to do, lots of places to go. He’ll turn up one of these days. I look forward to that.”

  There was a distant sound, a key in the front door lock, and Beau lifted his head, then jumped off the bed to go investigate. “Speak of the devil,” Andy said, throwing back the covers and getting off the bed. She was wearing pajamas, but she grabbed her robe off the closet hook while Bob sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on his pants.

  “Mom?” Noel called into the house. “Hey, Mom?”

  “Just a minute,” she yelled back. But before she could move, he stuck his head right in the bedroom door. Bob had his pants up but not buttoned or zipped and he was just pulling on his shirt. Andy was tying her robe closed.

  “Mom?” Noel said. “Mom, there’s a dog in the... Mom?” he said, clearly flabbergasted. “Jesus, Mom, what are you doing?”

  She glanced over her shoulder at Bob who was stuffing his shirt into his pants as quickly as he could. “To tell the honest truth, we were reading in bed,” Andy said. “You might’ve called.”

  “Aw, Jesus, Mom,” he said, whirling out of the room.

  “Bob, give us a minute, please.”

  “Sure,” Bob said.

  Andy followed Noel down the hall and into the family room. When she got there, she faced his back. “That wasn’t very nice,” she said. “First you barge in and then you act like an ass.”

  Noel whirled on her. “Are you out of your mind?” he asked in a whisper that was not nearly quiet enough. “What are you doing with that old guy?”

  “What’s the matter with you?” she asked angrily. “Who the hell raised you? You come barging in here and then say something as mean as that?”

  He took a step toward her. “Jesus, he’s just a fat old guy, Mom. What’s up with that?”

  “He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever known!” Andy said, stepping toward him. “If you’d even bothered to keep one date with me to get to know him better, you’d understand—he’s the best man in the world.”

  “I think Bryce leaving made you completely nuts!”

  “Bryce didn’t leave—I threw him out. He was unfaithful, abusive and immature. Getting him out of here made me sane! For once I’m happy! Bob is the most wonderful, genuine, loving—”

  “Andy,” Bob said from behind her. “I think Beau and I will just go—give you and your son some time.”

  She turned. “No!” she said. “Please, don’t go!” Then she turned to Noel. “Why are you here?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest.

  He hung his head, suddenly a little embarrassed to face Bob. “I wanted to tell you—I got off with a fine for the pot, and I’m finishing up with a three-point-six at school.”

  She looked at her watch. “It’s nine o’clock. Did you just get the news?”

  “I just got the time to—”

  “You know, I wouldn’t do this to you. I know where that apartment is that you like to hang out inland. I wouldn’t ever drop in on you like this, then humiliate you in front of your friends. I’m over twenty-one, Noel. I’m self-supporting. From now on, try to accept an invitation from me if you can, and you’re welcome anytime but for God’s sake, call me before you use your key to walk in and then embarrass me in front of someone who—” She turned and glanced at Bob. “Someone who means very much to me.”

  Noel lifted his head and his eyes might’ve been a little glossy. “I just didn’t expect anything like... Um, sorry, Bob.”

  “Hey,” Bob said. “Not a problem. I think she’s crazy, too—but, son, I didn’t trick her, honest to God. Your mom is pretty smart.”

  “Yeah,” Noel said. “So. Sorry, man,” he said. Then he turned to Andy. “Look, sorry. I??
?m going to take off now. Before I piss you off any more.”

  “I want you back here,” Andy said firmly. “Soon. Tomorrow. Or in two or three days, tops. I’ve been asking and you’ve been blowing me off for weeks. I want you to have dinner with us. It’s not too much to ask, I don’t think. Bob is going to be around for a long time, but I want you to make an effort to get to know him now. Before he’s been here a year.”

  “Sure,” Noel said, sticking his hands in his pockets and staring at his feet. “Sure.”

  He turned to go, then turned back abruptly and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek, then got out of the house quickly.

  For a moment, Andy just stared after the path of his departure. Momentarily she felt Bob’s hands squeezing her upper arms. He turned her around to face him and there were tears on her cheeks.

  “Aw, honey,” he said, pulling her closer. “He’s just a kid.”

  She leaned against his chest and sobbed.

  “Listen,” he said, stroking her hair. “It’s your duty as a parent to forget a lot of things, all right? You have to let it go. He’ll start thinking and eventually...” He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “Let it go. Kids are dumb. It’s a rite of passage. Besides—” he shrugged “—he caught us in our undies. He’ll have to be fifty years old to really understand what a trip that is for us.”

  “He was cruel,” she said with a sob. “I couldn’t bear for you to be hurt.”

  “I don’t hurt that easy, Andy. It’s all right. I’m sure not going to hold it against him.”

  “I didn’t raise him that way.”

  “Yeah, but he was unprepared for what he was going to see.”

  “He’s walked in on me and Bryce practically swinging from the light fixtures,” she said with a hiccup of emotion.