A Thousand Tomorrows / Just Beyond the Clouds

  He gave a little cough so he wouldn’t startle them. “Buddy… it’s time to go home.”

  Carl Joseph gave him a frustrated look, the sort of look he had never given Cody in all his life. “Not yet.” He tightened his hold on Daisy’s shoulders. “Not with rain.” He pointed at the wet pavement. “Not now.”

  “Okay.” Cody wasn’t sure what to do next. Behind him he heard a sound and he turned. Elle was locking up, and as she came out she realized what was happening. “Carl Joseph, are you helping Daisy again?” She smiled at the two and headed toward them. Along the way she glanced at Cody, and her eyes told him how Carl Joseph’s display of friendship touched her as well.

  When she reached Daisy, she touched the young woman’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  “CJ keeps me dry.” She looked up but made no effort to move.

  “Carl Joseph has to go home with his brother.” Elle tilted her head. “I’ll make sure you don’t get wet, okay?”

  Carl Joseph lifted his eyes to Elle and then turned to Cody again. He stood, his hand still on Daisy’s back. For a moment he looked unable to express himself. That happened often with Carl Joseph, and when it did he sometimes hid his face and resorted to a slight rocking motion.

  Not now.

  With his options limited, Carl Joseph looked around and spotted the covered area near the center door. He pulled his jacket up around Daisy’s shoulders again and over her head. “Come on, Daisy. Run with me.”

  Her blank expression made it clear she didn’t know where Carl Joseph was taking her or why they were supposed to run. But she trusted him. Because she ducked her head and with quick steps, the two of them ran across the rainy yard to the covered area.

  There Carl Joseph eased his jacket down around Daisy’s shoulders. Cody could barely make out what he was saying.

  “Brother wants to go.”

  Daisy smiled at Carl Joseph, but then glared at Cody. “I want you to stay.”

  “Me, too.” He stood squarely in front of her and patted her shoulders. “You stay dry with Teacher.”

  “Okay.” Daisy ran her tongue over her lower lip. “Come tomorrow, CJ.”

  “I will.” He pulled her into a hug then, and for a moment the two held on as if they might never let go.

  Cody watched, awed. He barely noticed Elle coming up beside him. “See?” Her tone was gentle. “Carl Joseph doesn’t want you making his decisions. Can’t you feel it?”

  “Yes.” Cody kept his eyes on his brother. “I feel it.” But in that moment, he felt Elle’s nearness more. The softness in her voice and the subtle smell of her shampoo. He tried to focus. “Does Daisy have a ride?”

  “I’ll take her.”

  “Oh.” He had sensed that Elle was fonder of Daisy than some of the other students. That was fine; maybe Daisy had no other way to the center. He tipped an invisible hat. “See you tomorrow.”

  In the car on the way home, Cody looked at his brother. “Daisy’s afraid of the rain?”

  “Yes.” Carl Joseph was grumpy. His short answer was loaded with attitude.

  “Why’s she afraid?” Cody turned his attention back to the road. He tried to keep his tone upbeat, casual.

  Carl Joseph uttered a loud breath and turned impatient eyes toward Cody. “She isn’t the Wicked Witch of the West. She’s Minnie Mouse. And Minnie Mouse doesn’t melt in the rain.”

  “Oh.” Cody blinked. He made one more try. “So she’s afraid she’ll melt, Buddy? Is that it?”

  “Yes.” Carl Joseph lifted his hands and let them drop in his lap. “I keep her dry, okay?”

  “Okay.” They rode the rest of the way in silence.

  Not until they pulled into the driveway did Cody sense that Carl Joseph had cooled down some. “Are you okay now, Buddy?”

  “Yes, I’m okay.” He reached out and patted Cody’s knee. “Sorry, Brother. Sorry for being mad. We still wanted to dance, okay?”

  “You and Daisy?”

  “Yes.” He smiled, even though the look of it was still a little subdued. “Me and Minnie Mouse.”

  That night Carl Joseph couldn’t stop talking about the field trip. They were going to get a dance lesson from a real dance instructor. “So maybe I can learn the Lindy Hop,” he told their parents after dinner. He hopped around the table, laughing as he went. “Hop… hop… hop!”

  Neither of his parents had spoken to Cody about the center since he started attending with Carl Joseph earlier that week. Now, though, his mother caught his eyes, and the concern in her face told Cody she’d been worrying about the situation since their last conversation. “You’re going on the field trip?”

  “Brother wants to dance!” Carl Joseph’s mood was considerably better than it had been in the car on the way home. He grinned as he danced past Cody. “Right, Brother?”

  “Dancing and church.” He raised a forkful of mashed potatoes in a mock sort of cheer. “Should be interesting.”

  Carl Joseph stopped in his tracks. His smile faded. “But you’re happy to go, right, Brother? Not mad like the Subway field trip?”

  Elle’s request ran through his mind. Remorse hit him like a truck, and he immediately changed his tone. “Yes, Buddy. I’m very happy.” He held his hand out, the sarcasm from earlier gone. Carl Joseph took hold of his fingers. “The field trip will be lots of fun.”

  Doubt lingered, but only for a moment. Then Carl Joseph smiled again, the big open-mouthed smile he was known for. He pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Goodie! Field Trip Day is fun!”

  The rest of that night and the next morning as they pulled up in front of the center, fear shot darts at Cody. What if Carl Joseph had a seizure today? He could fall and get hurt and… the worst scenarios played out in his imagination in as much time as it took him to draw a single breath. He couldn’t lose Carl Joseph, his buddy. His friend. Not after losing Ali. He wouldn’t survive it.

  He could only hope that of all days, Carl Joseph’s medication wouldn’t give out today.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Cody kept his thoughts to himself as the group waited inside the center. Once they were all together, Elle took her place at the front. “Everyone remembers the bus route?”

  Several voices began talking at once. Elle held up her hand. Her patience seemed to know no limits. “One at a time.”

  Daisy raised her hand. “Me, Teacher.”

  “Let’s ask someone else. We all know that Daisy knows the bus routes.” She gave Daisy a quick smile. “Gus, why don’t you tell us the bus route today.”

  “Uh…” Gus pulled a piece of crumpled paper from his pocket and opened it. He turned it one way and then another and for a few seconds he did nothing but stammer.

  Cody raised his brow, waiting.

  Finally Gus looked at Elle. “Walk to Adler Street. Take the west bus past four stops to Cheyenne Street. Get off.” He looked up at the ceiling and tapped one finger on his temple. He checked his paper again and suddenly his eyes got big. “I know. Take the orange bus south to Pine Street. Get off and take the south bus to Main Street.” His mouth hung open, eyes unblinking. “Right, Teacher?”

  “Yes.” Elle beamed. “Exactly right.”

  With that, the group gathered their things and left the center, walking toward Adler. Cody lagged behind, watching. Every now and then a car would slow down as it passed. Cody wanted to shout at the driver to keep moving and not to stare. It was hard enough for this group to get anywhere without people gawking at them.

  Like every other day, Carl Joseph walked next to Daisy. They were the same height, but Carl Joseph stood taller in her presence. When he seemed to think no one was looking, Carl Joseph linked his baby finger through hers. It was something Cody tried not to notice. Because Carl Joseph loved this life, these friends. So what would happen when his parents did what they needed to do? When they broke the news to him that independent living wasn’t possible for him?

  As they reached the first bus, Carl Joseph walked more slowly. This time Daisy
put her arm around him. “It’s okay, CJ. This bus is right.”

  Carl Joseph stopped at the bottom of the steps. He pulled the directions sheet from his pocket, looked at it, and scratched his head. Then he pulled his bus pass from the other pocket and looked at it. “This bus is for Cheyenne Street?”

  “Yes, CJ.” Daisy tugged gently at his arm. “This bus.”

  Cody shuddered to think how Carl Joseph would handle this moment without the support of Daisy and Elle and his classmates. His brother tucked the papers back in his pocket and looked up at the bus. He was stiff with worry, and he began wringing his hands. “This bus?”

  “Come on, CJ.” Daisy released his arm and moved onto the first step. There were still four other students waiting to board.

  One of them peered around the others. “Move it, people. Teacher wants to move it.”

  Elle was hanging back, watching the drama unfold. She kept from saying anything, and after a minute, his legs trembling, Carl Joseph followed Daisy onto the bus.

  Cody came up behind Elle. She smelled wonderful, and for a crazy minute he wished it was just the two of them on the trip. “Is he always like this?”

  “Yes.” Elle didn’t look troubled. “Most of the students are nervous about the bus until they get used to it. That’s the purpose of the field trips.”

  Cody swallowed. His heart was beating faster than usual. “How can you know they won’t act this way when they’re by themselves for the first time?”

  Elle reached the top step. She looked back at Cody. “We don’t just drop them off at an apartment and wish them luck, Mr. Gunner. Every stage is carefully monitored.”

  “Oh.” He held her gaze a beat longer than necessary. Then he swallowed. “I didn’t know.”

  They reached the dance studio on Main Street and filed into the lobby. The instructor was an older woman, and she and Elle seemed to know each other. The students moved into the dance room, and for the next two hours they learned a variety of swing dance moves, including the Lindy Hop. Cody couldn’t help but smile as he watched the smiles on the faces around him. Clearly they loved to dance.

  As they left, Cody caught up to Elle and walked beside her. “You taught them about dance, right?”

  “Yes.” Her eyes sparkled. Then her gaze dropped to his left hand and her guard seemed to go up again. “People with Down Syndrome need more exercise than other people. Dance is an exercise they enjoy, so it’s something they’ll do without being told.”

  “They could benefit from something tougher—weight training or cycling.” He put his hands in his pockets, his pace easy and in line with hers. She had a dizzying effect on him, something he couldn’t shake. “I was thinking of starting something before I came home.”

  “Really?” Her enthusiasm took him by surprise. “The owner of the center wants to expand. He wants a fitness center, an addition to the existing building.” She looked at him, her eyes thoughtful. “He won a grant from the state, so the money’s already in place.” She angled her head. “I’m supposed to find someone who could run it, develop a fitness program for the students. That way we could open it up to other disabled people, as well. People who don’t have the opportunity to learn independence.” She gave him a curious look. “Are you returning to work, wherever you were before you came home?”

  “No.” He waited for the usual comments about rodeo and how difficult life must be on the road. But they didn’t come. He smiled to himself. She was maybe one of the first women he’d ever known who wasn’t part of the rodeo world. He looked straight ahead. “I’m sort of at a crossroads. Looking for the next thing.”

  “Oh.” Her look became the more familiar subtly sarcastic one. “That’s why we were blessed to have your scrutiny this past week. Because you have nothing better to do.”

  “Look, Elle…” He wanted to keep the air between them light. Her nearness was intoxicating, but his feelings went beyond that. He liked her, liked the way she didn’t back down from him and the way she cared for her students. He liked her passion most of all. But still he had to make himself clear. “I’m here for one reason.” He nodded at Carl Joseph walking next to Daisy a few people ahead of them. “I love that kid.”

  She hesitated and then moved over some, creating more space between them. “I understand that, Mr. Gunner.” She gathered the students in a circle there on the sidewalk. “Who besides Daisy can tell me the next bus route?”

  The students pulled out their direction sheets. One of the students gave the right answer and they were off again, this time toward the church service. As they climbed off the bus across from the old downtown church, Elle threw what must’ve been a curve at them. “Who would like to eat lunch?”

  Several hands shot up.

  “I’m very hungry, Teacher.” Gus looked at the others. “We’re starving.”

  “Yes.” Tammy twirled one of her braids. “I could eat a cow.”

  “Cow isn’t always good for you.” Sid pointed at her. “Cow should be cooked.”

  Elle stifled a smile. “Very well.” She took in the faces around her. “How many of you brought money?”

  All week, Elle had talked to them about field trips, and how if they were going out on the town they should be prepared. Preparation was a life skill, she told them. They should have their directions, and a cell phone, and ten dollars in case they needed to eat while they were out.

  Now all but two students raised their hands. Some of them actually raised their money.

  Elle told them to put their money back in their pockets. “Tommy’s Burgers is one block south.” Elle pointed in the right direction. “We have an hour before the church service. Let’s go eat.”

  “See,” Tammy announced loudly. “We are having cow.” She stuck her tongue out at Sid as she walked past. “Cooked cow, Sid. Burgers are cooked cow.”

  The first trouble of the day came at the restaurant.

  One minute everything seemed to be going smoothly, and the next Tammy was standing and screaming, pointing at Gus. “Help him! Someone help him!”

  Gus’s face was deep red, and he was grabbing at his throat. Drool hung at the corners of his mouth and he was stomping his feet in panic.

  “Help him!” Tammy’s scream incited the rest of the group, and in an instant, all the students were on their feet shouting the same thing. “Help him! Someone help him!”

  Cody was sitting by himself. As soon as he realized what was happening, he cut his way through the crowd, reached Gus, and positioned himself behind the young man. “Stand up straight, Gus.”

  The guy did as he was asked. By now Elle was at their side. “Dear God.” She covered her mouth, her voice filled with fear. “Help us, Lord.”

  Cody stayed behind him and slid his arms beneath Gus’s. He made a fist with one hand and cupped it with the other, then he pressed the fist against Gus’s stomach, in the hollow where his ribs met just below his chest. He pressed hard, jerking his hand in an upward motion. Then he did it again.

  Some of the girls were screaming now, moving in tight circles. On the third thrust, a large piece of barely chewed hamburger flew from Gus’s mouth out onto the floor. He gasped for air. His eyes wide, he dropped to his knees and grabbed his throat with both hands.

  Cody put his hand on the young man’s shoulder. “Gus, you’re okay. Breathe out.”

  But panic still had the best of him. He shook his head, fast and frenzied.

  “Gus.” Cody used a stronger tone this time. “Breathe out. You’re okay, now just breathe out.”

  Elle worked her way through the students, telling them that Gus was fine and asking them to sit back down. Two of the girls were still crying.

  “Breathe out, Gus.” Cody leaned in closer. “You’re okay.”

  Finally Gus did as he was told. He pursed his lips and blew out. He still had his hands around his throat, his eyes still bugged out of his face. But after a minute he struggled to his feet. He stared at Cody and then at Elle and back again. “I laughed.”
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  Tammy was shaking, but she approached Cody and explained what had happened. “Gus was telling a funny story.” She looked at the other two students who had been sitting at her table. “And he was eating and telling a funny story.”

  “And”—one of the others grabbed his throat and stuck his tongue out—“no more words.”

  Cody didn’t realize until then that he was shaking. Gus had waited longer than necessary to stand up, probably because choking was an unfamiliar concept to him. Carl Joseph had choked once when he was around ten or eleven. Cody still remembered their mother giving him the Heimlich maneuver and saving his life.

  Gus finally relaxed the hold he had on his throat. He lowered his hands and, moving like a ninety-year-old man, he returned to his table. When he reached his chair, he turned and pointed at Cody. “He likes us now.”

  “Yes, he likes us.” Tammy bent over in dramatic fashion, catching her own breath. When she straightened, she lifted both her hands toward the ceiling. “Thank You, God. Carl Joseph’s brother likes us.”

  Cody felt the sting of tears in his eyes. It had taken this, but at least now the students trusted him.

  Elle made her way to his side and touched his elbow. “Mr. Gunner…”

  “Call me Cody.” He braced himself against the nearest chair and tried to catch his breath.

  “Cody… thank you.” Her eyes still held fear, but it was mixed with an undeniable admiration. Maybe even an attraction. Her tone was drenched in relief. “Nothing like that… That’s never happened before.”

  Cody looked at Carl Joseph. His brother had his hands over his face, and he was rocking. Daisy was talking to him through the spaces between his fingers. Cody sighed and turned to Elle again. “People with Down Syndrome sometimes have trouble swallowing.”

  “I know. It’s one of the reasons we make sure the students are paired up when they move out on their own.”

  Cody looked deep into her eyes. “Even then…” He wasn’t being defiant, just honest. “This sort of thing could always happen.” He walked over and crouched next to Carl Joseph. “Buddy, it’s okay. Gus is fine.”