Uncommon Thief

  Chapter 9

  The Mistress

  It was a cool autumn day, and Fred was on his way to Palm Springs again, just as he had been every night for several weeks. The route had become very familiar, and he was getting to know the branch personnel pretty well. When he arrived at the Palm Springs branch, one of the tellers was out of balance, so the bags weren’t ready. While he was waiting, Candy invited him into the break room to wait. The tight red sweater and short plaid skirt she was wearing immediately had Fred mesmerized.

  Candy’s flirting with Fred had continued nonstop since the first day they’d met. This pleased Fred enormously, as she was the hottest woman he’d ever known. They talked at length each time they met, and being a very open person, Candy often shocked Fred with intimate revelations about her personal life. On this particular day, she seemed even more excited to see him. It was obvious she had something on her mind.

  "You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us," Candy said thoughtfully.

  "You have?" Fred asked, surprised that she’d had thoughts of them as a couple.

  "Yes. Hey, you know, we could help each other out."

  "How's that?" Fred asked warily.

  "Well, I could be your mistress."

  He frowned, not following her logic. "My mistress?"

  "Right. Every big shot lawyer has a mistress."

  "They do? Really? I didn't know that."

  "Of course they do."

  "Okay, go on," he said, wondering what other revelations about the legal profession he was about to hear.

  "You know how hard it is to become an actress? You've got to go to acting school, audition all the time, go to all the Hollywood parties, and even sleep with the right people."

  Fred raised his eyebrows. She smiled at his obvious shock.

  "You'd go that far to get what you wanted?" he asked evenly.

  "If I had to.”

  "Well, my dad always told me that if you want something badly enough, you can always get it. It is just a matter of setting your mind on your goal and doing whatever it takes to achieve it."

  "Exactly. That's why I should be your mistress. If you set me up in an apartment and took care of me, I would be there for you whenever you needed me. But in the meantime, I could work on becoming an actress without having to waste eight hours a day working in this stupid bank to survive."

  It was an intriguing thought, but Fred immediately thought of Maria and began to feel guilty even talking about a mistress. "I guess I didn't tell you I have a girlfriend and am seriously considering asking her to marry me."

  "Congratulations. That is so cool!" she replied genuinely.

  "And I don’t plan to have a mistress, no offense.”

  She gave him a wounded look that made him feel terrible.

  Before he knew it, he found himself recanting. “If I were going to have one, though, I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather have as a mistress than you."

  "Give me a break! You're not telling me you're going to be faithful to one woman, are you?"

  "Well, that's kind of what I had planned," Fred admitted.

  "What are you, some kind of Boy Scout?"

  He laughed. "Well, actually I was a Boy Scout—an Eagle Scout, in fact."

  "Oh God, I should have known."

  "You don't like Boy Scouts?"

  "I like Boy Scouts okay. My little brother was one. It's just that all that trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly stuff is garbage."

  "I don't think it’s garbage exactly. It's an ideal, a goal you try to achieve."

  "You are really idealistic, aren't you?" Candy complained.

  "I don’t know. I’ve never really thought that much about it."

  "Well, think about it. It would be a fantastic arrangement. I like you a lot, and I can see in the way you look at me that the feeling is mutual. We could have a lot of fun together without fear of any kind of permanent relationship getting in the way of our dreams. We could trust each other implicitly because our relationship would be strictly a business arrangement, each washing the other’s back, so to speak."

  Luckily, the bags were ready, and Fred was summoned back into the bank lobby. He turned to leave, but Candy grabbed his arm and pulled him up close. She smiled wryly, wrapped her arms around him, and said, "Maybe you need to sample the merchandise before you make a hasty decision." She gave him a long kiss and then let him go. Fred stood there a moment in total shock. Candy smiled, then turned and walked away. After a minute, he regained his composure, grabbed the bag and left. On the way to his next stop, his mind replayed the conversation over and over again. He was so shaken by the encounter, that he went right past the Beaumont branch without stopping and didn't realize it for several miles.

  Never in his life had he been confronted with such a temptation. Candy represented every evil he’d ever been warned about, yet as hard as he tried to despise her, he couldn’t feel anything but delight. She was so alluring and her plan so intriguing that, for a moment, he thought it might even be possible.

  But as the evening progressed, he began to think of Maria and the complete trust she had in him. How could he betray that trust? The answer was clear: He couldn't. One woman is all a man needs, he told himself. Promiscuity will lead to nothing but grief.

  When he pulled into the motor pool, Jim was leaning against the gas pump, looking pretty restless. He was the last driver in at night, so when he was late, it meant Jim had to work overtime.

  Fred pulled in, got out of his car, and immediately began to apologize. "Sorry I am late, Jim. Palm Springs wasn't ready when I got there, so I got way behind from the start."

  "I forgive you, but I don't know if my lady friend who’s waiting for me will."

  Fred smiled at that and then wondered if Jim might know something about Candy. "Hey, have you ever heard of a teller named Candy at Palm Springs?"

  "No, can't say that I have. Why? You got an eye for her?"

  "No, she's got an eye for me. In fact, she’s offered to be my mistress."

  "What? Your mistress? As I recall, you're not married, Fuller, so if you took up with her, she wouldn't be classified as a mistress, now would she?"

  "She wants to be my mistress after I am married and become a lawyer."

  "Well, lad, I have heard of planning ahead, but this takes the bloody cake."

  "Well, I just wondered if she came on to all of the messengers like that."

  "I've certainly never heard any tales about her. What do you plan to do about it?"

  "Nothing. The whole idea is crazy. Besides, I am in love with Maria."

  "Then why did you ask me about it?"

  "I know you've been around and experienced a lot," Fred said.

  "Well, a professor I knew one time told me that whenever one is considering a course of action, he should ask himself, ‘What would be the worst thing that could happen if I embark down this path?’ After you have answered that question, the decision becomes easy. If you can live with the worst thing that could happen, then you should do it. So, what's the worst thing that would happen if Candy became your mistress?"

  "Well, the worst thing would be if Maria caught us."

  "Of course. What do you think Maria would do if she caught you two doing nasty things?"

  "Well, I'm pretty sure she would stick me with a sharp knife and twist it slowly."

  Jim laughed. "Good, lad. Just keep that thought in your mind whenever temptation confronts you. Too much candy isn’t good for you, my friend, no matter how sweet it tastes. No pun intended."