Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom

slipped. "You stupid, deluded asshole," shesaid, softly. "You totter around, pissing and moaning about your littlemurder, your little health problems -- yes, I've heard -- your littlefixation on keeping things the way they are. You need some perspective,Julius. You need to get away from here: Disney World isn't good for youand you're sure as hell not any good for Disney World."

  It would have hurt less if I hadn't come to the same conclusion myself,somewhere along the way.

  #

  I found the ad-hoc at a Fort Wilderness campsite, sitting around a fireand singing, necking, laughing. The victory party. I trudged into thecircle and hunted for Lil.

  She was sitting on a log, staring into the fire, a million miles away.Lord, she was beautiful when she fretted. I stood in front of her for aminute and she stared right through me until I tapped her shoulder. Shegave an involuntary squeak and then smiled at herself.

  "Lil," I said, then stopped. _Your parents are home, and they've joinedthe other side_.

  For the first time in an age, she looked at me softly, smiled even. Shepatted the log next to her. I sat down, felt the heat of the fire on myface, her body heat on my side. God, how did I screw this up?

  Without warning, she put her arms around me and hugged me hard. I huggedher back, nose in her hair, woodsmoke smell and shampoo and sweat. "Wedid it," she whispered fiercely. I held onto her. _No, we didn't_.

  "Lil," I said again, and pulled away.

  "What?" she said, her eyes shining. She was stoned, I saw that now.

  "Your parents are back. They came to the Mansion."

  She was confused, shrinking, and I pressed on.

  "They were with Debra."

  She reeled back as if I'd slapped her.

  "I told them I'd bring the whole group back to talk it over."

  She hung her head and her shoulders shook, and I tentatively put an armaround her. She shook it off and sat up. She was crying and laughing atthe same time. "I'll have a ferry sent over," she said.

  #

  I sat in the back of the ferry with Dan, away from the confused andangry ad-hocs. I answered his questions with terse, one-word answers,and he gave up. We rode in silence, the trees on the edges of the SevenSeas Lagoon whipping back and forth in an approaching storm.

  The ad-hoc shortcutted through the west parking lot and moved throughthe quiet streets of Frontierland apprehensively, a funeral processionthat stopped the nighttime custodial staff in their tracks.

  As we drew up on Liberty Square, I saw that the work-lights were blazingand a tremendous work-gang of Debra's ad-hocs were moving from the Hallto the Mansion, undoing our teardown of their work.

  Working alongside of them were Tom and Rita, Lil's parents, sleevesrolled up, forearms bulging with new, toned muscle. The group stopped inits tracks and Lil went to them, stumbling on the wooden sidewalk.

  I expected hugs. There were none. In their stead, parents and daughterstalked each other, shifting weight and posture to track each other,maintain a constant, sizing distance.

  "What the hell are you doing?" Lil said, finally. She didn't address hermother, which surprised me. It didn't surprise Tom, though.

  He dipped forward, the shuffle of his feet loud in the quiet night."We're working," he said.

  "No, you're not," Lil said. "You're destroying. Stop it."

  Lil's mother darted to her husband's side, not saying anything, juststanding there.

  Wordlessly, Tom hefted the box he was holding and headed to the Mansion.Lil caught his arm and jerked it so he dropped his load.

  "You're not listening. The Mansion is _ours_. _Stop_. _It_."

  Lil's mother gently took Lil's hand off Tom's arm, held it in her own."I'm glad you're passionate about it, Lillian," she said. "I'm proud ofyour commitment."

  Even at a distance of ten yards, I heard Lil's choked sob, saw hercollapse in on herself. Her mother took her in her arms, rocked her. Ifelt like a voyeur, but couldn't bring myself to turn away.

  "Shhh," her mother said, a sibilant sound that matched the rustling ofthe leaves on the Liberty Tree. "Shhh. We don't have to be on the sameside, you know."

  They held the embrace and held it still. Lil straightened, then bentagain and picked up her father's box, carried it to the Mansion. One ata time, the rest of her ad-hoc moved forward and joined them.

  #

  This is how you hit bottom. You wake up in your friend's hotel room andyou power up your handheld and it won't log on. You press the call-button for the elevator and it gives you an angry buzz in return. Youtake the stairs to the lobby and no one looks at you as they jostle pastyou.

  You become a non-person.

  Scared. I trembled when I ascended the stairs to Dan's room, when Iknocked at his door, louder and harder than I meant, a panicked banging.

  Dan answered the door and I saw his eyes go to his HUD, back to me."Jesus," he said.

  I sat on the edge of my bed, head in my hands.

  "What?" I said, what happened, what happened to me?

  "You're out of the ad-hoc," he said. "You're out of Whuffie. You'rebottomed-out," he said.

  This is how you hit bottom in Walt Disney World, in a hotel with thehissing of the monorail and the sun streaming through the window, thehooting of the steam engines on the railroad and the distant howl of therecorded wolves at the Haunted Mansion. The world drops away from you,recedes until you're nothing but a speck, a mote in blackness.

  I was hyperventilating, light-headed. Deliberately, I slowed my breath,put my head between my knees until the dizziness passed.

  "Take me to Lil," I said.

  Driving together, hammering cigarette after cigarette into my face, Iremembered the night Dan had come to Disney World, when I'd driven himto my -- _Lil's_ -- house, and how happy I'd been then, how secure.

  I looked at Dan and he patted my hand. "Strange times," he said.

  It was enough. We found Lil in an underground break-room, lightly dozingon a ratty sofa. Her head rested on Tom's lap, her feet on Rita's. Allthree snored softly. They'd had a long night.

  Dan shook Lil awake. She stretched out and opened her eyes, lookedsleepily at me. The blood drained from her face.

  "Hello, Julius," she said, coldly.

  Now Tom and Rita were awake, too. Lil sat up.

  "Were you going to tell me?" I asked, quietly. "Or were you just goingto kick me out and let me find out on my own?"

  "You were my next stop," Lil said.

  "Then I've saved you some time." I pulled up a chair. "Tell me all aboutit."

  "There's nothing to tell," Rita snapped. "You're out. You had to know itwas coming -- for God's sake, you were tearing Liberty Square apart!"

  "How would you know?" I asked. I struggled to remain calm. "You've beenasleep for ten years!"

  "We got updates," Rita said. "That's why we're back -- we couldn't letit go on the way it was. We owed it to Debra."

  "And Lillian," Tom said.

  "And Lillian," Rita said, absently.

  Dan pulled up a chair of his own. "You're not being fair to him," hesaid. At least someone was on my side.

  "We've been more than fair," Lil said. "You know that better thananyone, Dan. We've forgiven and forgiven and forgiven, made everyallowance. He's sick and he won't take the cure. There's nothing more wecan do for him."

  "You could be his friend," Dan said. The light-headedness was back, andI slumped in my chair, tried to control my breathing, the panickedthumping of my heart.

  "You could try to understand, you could try to help him. You could stickwith him, the way he stuck with you. You don't have to toss him out onhis ass."

  Lil had the good grace to look slightly shamed. "I'll get him a room,"she said. "For a month. In Kissimmee. A motel. I'll pick up his networkaccess. Is that fair?"

  "It's more than fair," Rita said. Why did she hate me so much? I'd beenthere for her daughter while she was away -- ah. That might do it, allright. "I don't think it's warranted. If you want to take care of him,sir, you can. It's none of my fa
mily's business."

  Lil's eyes blazed. "Let me handle this," she said. "All right?"

  Rita stood up abruptly. "You do whatever you want," she said, andstormed out of the room.

  "Why are you coming here for help?" Tom said, ever the voice of reason."You seem capable enough."

  "I'm going to be taking a lethal injection at the end of the week," Dansaid. "Three days. That's personal, but you asked."

  Tom shook his head.