The Child of Events!

  Few days later after that agreable encounter , the tutor of our section came at me with a packet containing very beautiful and new clothes, underwears and a pair of leather shoes . While I was under the effect of my astonishment , she helped me to put the clothes on and to tie the shoes up , then she said :"you have a visit, and we will go out for a walk". By hearing these words , I became very anxious because I remembered the words of my father telling me that we will go for a walk but he brought me to the orphanage and then disappeared and left me alone paralysed by my fears and horrified by the thrills of the abandon . Anyway I followed the tutor and left the building and reached the garden , where on a chair the same gentle and good looking woman was awaiting me . When she saw me , she smiled sweetly and stood up and taking me in her arms gave me a little basket full of all sort of candies and fruits. This was the first time that I felt that someone was paying attention to me by talking with me and showing interest and affection . A little boy of almost seven years old wearing very clean and elegant cloths accompanied the charitable woman , he was her son and by the sign of the woman , he took my hand and we began walking and leaving the orphanage . Meanwhile I noticed that some of the boys who were always with 'gorgon' looked at us with sigh and envy , seeing me wearing new and clean cloths in the company of that mother and son and leaving the orphanage . Maybe I was lucky or maybe not but I felt some compassion for them , because there were as hopeless as I was in the past and will continue living their life or in desperation or in violence and hatred , anyway we had something in common , our miserable childhood and our unknown future .

  11

  When we stopped in front of the gate of a majestic house which looked like the palaces described in the tales , all the servants of the house came to welcome their masters with respect , obedience and excitement , and each one tried to be more pleasant than the other . Their big dog was so excited that it sticked itself to its masters , the charitable woman and her son, and expressed its joy with strange sounds or by running around them and smelling them then lying on the ground taking amazing postures ... We entered into the majestic house which had a very big sitting room and a dinning room , then multiple rooms for the kids , guests and for other purposes. On the other side of the garden another place was designated for the location of all the servants . In the backside of the house a very big garden which was so beautiful that it reminded me a heavenly garden , impressed me in a way that I found myself in a sort of euphoria . A vast terrace was along the house which with all the windows were looking at the garden . Inside , all the rooms were decorated by priceless artworks and furnitures . I felt that I was in a sort of dream that I wished it never ends .

  In the evening , some guests came to visit the charitable woman who was now the one who adopted me as her child . During that evening party , 'madam' talked about me and explained to her guests the story of my life and all the things she knew which happened to me. She was so excited about her act of charity , the adoption of an orphan that she told to her guests :" I'm really a lucky and happy woman , I have indeed all the things necessary for my happiness , good parents , beautiful children and everything , so I decided to share this happiness with an abandoned kid in the orphanage , to make him happy in order to have a peaceful conscience and to achieve my duty toward god and the society , I really enjoy doing some charitable deeds to the poor and miserable people" . I was hearing all of this while I was playing with the children of 'madam' , she had also a daughter of almost five years old apart her seven years old son .

 

  I spent splendide days for some months and had very good time with the children of the charitable woman , enjoying everything good , the games , the meals and the attention they payed to me . I was happy with my new way of life and nothing bothered me ...

  We were in fall and the family exceptionally didn't spend the summer in their countryside house because of the social unrest and a civil war . All sort of crimes were committed , and the city where we lived was not exempt . The conflict and fight between the governmental forces and all sort of armed groups was continuing. The gangsters and agitators found the opportunity to increase the dimensions of the chaotic circumstances which reigned everywhere .

 

  When the governmental forces prevailed for some time , a relative order was established and we heard few things about the unrest or the crimes committed . At this time I was six years old and was a sensitive boy . All my concerns were about goodness and badness , about meekness and arrogance or pacificism and violence, love and hatred . Also I could understand relatively the meaning of happiness and misery . Because of my sensitiveness , I was supposed to suffer all my life for the remarks and reactions of the people around me . For example the behaviour and encounter of the family members or the guests of 'madam' left always a huge impact on me . Progressively I noticed that I was a subject of discrimination because I was not really the child of the family but an adoptive kid . The people who used to come in that home showed lot of kindness when addressing to the two children of 'madam' but they payed little attention to me and I was always put aside . This was the difference between our destiny and fortune and this state of things hurt me so deeply and so badly that even now I feel the 'wound' of my burning and broken heart . Also I could understand that the most part of the kindness and care showed toward the children of 'madam' was based on the personal need and interest to attract the affection of their host or just to enjoy her material comfort and eventually to take some part of her wealth .

  In that house lived also a very stylish and haughty woman who enjoyed the status of the governess of the children . She was also the manager of everything in the house and 'madam' payed much attention to her and consulted her in all decisions . As I heard later , the governess belonged to an aristocratic family but because of some conflicts she left her home and came working as governess in the home of 'madam' who was an acquaintance of her family . A big lounge was designated for her private life . She taught to the children the aristocratic manners at table and everywhere in their daily life, also she taught them playing piano and learning foreign languages . Since the beginning I noticed and felt that she disliked and despised me and didn't pay attention to me , maybe because I was an adopted stranger kid or maybe because of her social prejudices , or maybe because something was wrong in my attitude which made me looking a shy and cold child , anyway I was discriminated and she was trying to not allowing me to play with the children of the family .

  When the charitable woman was absent , going out for affairs in the town , the governess brought the two children into her private big room and kept them busy with some piano lesson or other sort of amusement and didn 't allow me entering in her lounge and usually said to me to going away or playing with the cook's daughter who was a very impolite girl.The cook was a fat and uneducated man who always talked loudly and insulted everyone with a harsh voice . He hated me particularly , out of envy and jealousy , because he couldn' t accept this fact that the charitable woman adopted me as her child but was indifferent toward his daughter . I learned this when some of the nights the charitable woman was out for private affair and the governess put me away from the children , I went to the farest part of the garden where all the servants and the cook's family were gathered for chatting . I was so afraid of the loneliness that I sat somewhere not too far from them . I heard the cook while pointing me to the 'assembly' , saying with his harsh voice :"look at this good-for-nothing ! one should always be lucky to enjoy favour ! we don't have good luck at all , my daughter is so cute and so gentle and 'madam' is so indifferent to her that she never pays the least attention and she never does something for her , instead she adopted this stranger kid whose parents are completely unknown, as her child and mixed him with her own children !"
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  At this time I couldn't realize why some people are so jealous that they can't suffer the least ease and comfort of an abandoned and helpless kid . sometimes this same cook confronted me openly as a rival of his own age and considered me as his personal enemy . Most of the times he humiliated me in front of the charitable woman , her children and the governess and for attracting more and more the favour and attention of 'madam' , he used some words and allusions to prove that my presence in that house would decrease the social dignity and the noble origin of the family ...

  12

  What disturbed me most of all was the hostility of the governess because the least word or suggestion used by her could change definitely my destiny .

  She enjoyed the absolute confidence of the 'charitable woman' because she had the responsibility of the education of her children and because she was consulted in all domains of the management of the household . But the overesteemed governess enjoyed also the attention or the 'affection' of the brother of 'madam', the one who apparently was 'in love' with her . The brother was always admiring the skills , wisdom , intelligence and the competence of the governess in all fields in front of his sister and this admiration which sounded sometimes a sort of 'worship' increased the dignity and the credit of the governess and strengthened her status in that house . He usually came visiting the governess while 'madam' and her children were absent . They walked in the garden talking or coming indoor playing piano and singing romantic songs . At this time the sound of the music they played was enthralling my soul and I found myself in a sort of transcendental state , and wished to be able to play the piano and produce such magical melodies . This same feeling attracted me near the door of the governess room , when I was alone and left to my own , this was my favourite distraction .

  One of those times that I was listening to the music the governess played for her lover , suddenly she stopped playing and came out of her room and looked at me with such an anger in her eyes that I began trembling . She didn't dare blaming me verbally but with the angry expression of her face I knew that she wanted to know what I was doing there , I told her quietly that I was scared of the loneliness , otherwise I didn't intend bothering her , but when her lover appeared , she changed the expression of her face and addressing to him softly said :"I really don 't know what to do with this spoiled kid , he's becoming a charge for me , I'm bored , already I work hard for the education of those children of your sister , but taking care of this stranger boy who is not her real child exasperates me , honestly your sister has a very strange personality and very strange beliefs. On the other hand when you notice that all your endeavours are ignored and they're not really acknowledged and never rewarded by gratitude , you 're disappointed ". The brother of the charitable woman acknowledged the opinion of the governess , in agreement with her added :"indeed , you are absolutely right , previously I tried to convince her that her beliefs in charitable works are not compatible with our era , there is no room for this sort of 'superstitions' , she spent all her money in the foundation of schools and orphanages or adopting abandoned kids like this one , she's really silly . Imagine that I lost all my money in games and luxury but I don't regret that because I enjoyed my life and we all know that life is short and you should have fun and enjoying it" . After saying that he took his glass of beverage , drunk it , began playing piano and singing passionate songs . Then the governess came and closed the door .

  At this time although I was only six years old , the details of that discussion left a huge impact on my mind in a way that I could never forget it .The reason for the impact of this conversation between the governess and her lover on me and the reason for having been so impressed by those words and their opinion about my presence in that house was the role it played in my destiny in a way that everything which happened to me after this moment followed another and an absolutely different path .

  After this day , my sensitiveness toward the reaction and the behaviour of the people around with me increased , in such a way that I could feel perfectly the contempt and the indifference they showed by seeing me . Meanwhile the attitude of the charitable woman changed completely , not only toward me but in general . She didn't express kindness toward me anymore and when seeing me , she just ignored me totally . Until this time I usually took my meals at the table with her children and suddenly I have been put aside and my place was changed and she sent me at eating times to the table of the servants of the house at the other side of the garden .

  The changes which happened in my usual way of life coincided with the tremendous changes occured in the life of the charitable woman and her household .

  I was not anymore witnessing her noble manners and her dignified behaviours , not anymore paying attention to charitable works and caring about the poors and the miserable people , not anymore spending money to found schools or orphanage . She stopped visiting the charitable institutions or participating in this sort of assembly . All of that seemed totally meanignless to her . She became indifferent to everything . She was just like a disciplined and responsible captain of a ship who tried to save all the passengers under her care and attention , and the one to whom everyone looked for their life and well-being , suddenly in front of the astonishement of all the passengers , she released herself from all the responsibilities ignoring all the principles and ideals she believed in them till that moment and abandoned the ship and the passengers to the horrifying waves of a stormy ocean . It seemed that she was traversing some psychological crisis and was suffering a sort of mental disorder . Her behaviour was unrecognizable , her gestures and reflexes were not at all the same , the kind tone of voice and words she used to express changed into some incoherent talk and incoherent reactions . She spent the nights in company of some superficial guests playing card games , drinking alcoholic beverages and laughing like fools . The aspect of the house changed too , she fired all the servants apart two of them and the governess .

  Each day they were talking about me and about what to do with me . I felt that my presence in that house was a sort of charge and an inappropriate part tied to another sort of stuff . The psychological changes of the 'charitable woman' and the shortage of foods in the region created a sort of disturbing situation in the house .

  Someday , in the morning , one of the relatives of the woman's late husband came in the house and gave very bad news about the unrest and the chaotic circumstances of the society , telling that lot of gangsters and evil-doers used to attack the houses and after devastating them , they kill or rape the household . This was the cause of the penury and the shortage of foods , so a black market has been created and the price of the necessary items increased to their maximum , what caused an incredible misery among the population . The young man also added that some groups of those evil-doers are settled not too far from the woman's property and it might happen that they attack suddenly the house at night and bringing all the objects of value with them if by any chance they spare the household and don't harm them . Everyone in the house became very upset by these bad news , so the young man suggested that they hide all the objects of value or the furniture in the underground and covering the entrance . So they followed this suggestion and we all helped to gathering and hiding those objects in the underground and we covered the entrance of it in a way that it was not noticable . The young man said that the thieves after attacking a house were acting very naturally as if they were some people in removal and no one could suspecting them .

  13

  In the afternoon , we finished the work of removing the priceless furnitures and objects of value , and I helped as I could and as my frail body allowed to this work of removal . I felt very tired and very hungry but I was so afraid of the indifference of everyone who ignored me that I didn't dare expressing something about that . After a while
, the 'charitable woman' looked at me , as if she asked herself what to do with me , whispered something to the young man and then he turned to my side and took my hand and we left the house . The man who walked fastly , pulled me after his reckless steps, we walked a long distance till the moment that we reached the door of a good shaped building . We entered the building and arrived into a very big room where an impressive man was sitting . Automatically I recognized the man , he was the gentle supporter of the orphanage where I was in , and met him before my adoption by the 'charitable woman' . The young man expressed himself with great respect and talked about the shortage of foods and the disturbed state of things and added that the 'charitable woman' who adopted me is not able to provide my subsistence anymore and she is seeking help from the charitable man . They talked a lot but I couldn't remember what they said . So it was decided and planned that I take my meals once a day at noon in the kitchen of that building and returning to the woman's house for staying and sleeping .

  I knew that I had to play the role of the door-keeper of the woman's house , because they were mostly absent all day and they just came back at home for sleeping . When I say 'they' , I mean the woman, her children and the governess , all the other people , the servants were fired or just left , only an old woman who was the nanny of the children in the past stayed there with me , we were the only ones left alone in that big house and garden all day . In the morning my very wish was that the time passes quickly in order I could go to the kitchen of that building where the respectable man was living , and eating some soup and a piece of bread . This was my only joy in those days which kept me alive and avoided my starvation . I learned the way which ended to the house of the charitable woman by remembering the signs I ought to follow . Because I was alone I spent the afternoon 's hours in the streets around and at the evening I arrived to the house . Those were almost peaceful days and no one bothered me , and also because the governess accompanied the charitable woman and her children , she encountered me fewer and didn't express her hostility . Almost all the rooms of the house were empty and the furnitures were hid . I was alone with that old nanny and fortunately and for my good she didn't mistreat me like the cook who used to do in the past .