Sensitivity & Strength, Larva High School 1

  “Okay. But just think about it, okay? If you decide to do it, I will be happy to help you set it up, and I’m sure the kids will love you.”

  Amber shrugged her shoulders. She wasn’t so sure about Victoria’s ideas, and she had no desire to go in front of an audience, but she was grateful that Victoria was so supportive.

  “I’ll think about it,” Amber agreed and smiled. “But hey, thank you for being on board with the bake sale. I am going to ask Sara too.”

  CHAPTER 24

  Dilemmas and slammed doors

  Sara was in a dilemma. Joshua had asked her to come and hear his band practice today, and she had gladly said yes. She was curious to see where the band rehearsed; all she knew was that it was in Jack’s basement. She loved listening to Joshua sing and play, but her mother had just sent her a text message asking her to look after her twin brothers after school. She hurried home and found her mother in the kitchen getting ready to leave. “Thank you, honey, I will be back as fast as I can. I just completely forgot about my doctor’s appointment.”

  “It’s okay.” Sara almost pushed her mother out the door. “Please just hurry, okay? I promised Joshua to come by and see his band rehearse today.”

  “Okay, okay,” her mother laughed on her way out.

  Sara sent Joshua a message. “I will be late but I’m still coming. What’s the address again?”

  She got a reply back with an “ok” and the address. Her twin brothers were being loud, and she was irritated with them. If it weren’t for them, she wouldn’t have to babysit. She kept looking at the clock, which seemed to be moving way too fast. Soon the band would be done rehearsing, and if she didn’t make it, she would be the worst girlfriend ever. She kept chanting in her head, Come on, Mom, come on…When her mother finally pulled up in front of the house, Sara ran out the door.

  When she arrived at the address, she noticed that the house was big and well-maintained. She went to the front door and rang the bell. There was no doubt it was the right house: she could hear music coming from inside. The door opened, and Laura looked just as surprised as Sara did when they saw each other.

  “What do you want?” Laura said with disgust.

  Sara felt the arctic cold from Laura and clenched her jaw. Laura had to be the most unpleasant person she had ever known, and right now she was standing between her and Joshua.

  “Josh asked me to come by and see him play with the band,” Sara explained as mildly as possible, looking down. She didn’t want a confrontation with Laura. She just wanted to get past her and see Joshua.

  “Really? Then why don’t you ask him to let you in?” Laura’s face was full of contempt as she slammed the door in Sara’s face.

  Sara was left outside, staring at the closed door, completely speechless. She didn’t understand the aggression from Laura’s side, and she felt humiliated and embarrassed. It was as if she was no better than a nasty cockroach. She walked away from the house and sent Joshua a message saying. “I came, but Laura wouldn’t let me in.” She wanted to send a second message saying “Can you let me in,” but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be in a house where she was so unwelcome. Badly shaken, Sara decided to go home again.

  If she had only known that Laura was Jack’s sister, she would have been prepared. She could have asked Joshua to meet her outside. She didn’t know Jack very well, and Joshua had never mentioned the connection between him and Laura.

  * * * * *

  Joshua was getting worried; Sara should have been here by now.

  “Just a minute,” he said to his bandmates and went to check his mobile.

  When he saw Sara’s message, he frowned. “What?” He said aloud.

  “What’s up?” Jack responded.

  Joshua was just about to tell him, but it was as if an alarm clock went off in his head – he didn’t want to involve Jack, before knowing what had actually happened.

  “Is your sister home, Jack?”

  “I don’t know. She’s probably upstairs. Why?”

  “Nothing. I just need to ask her something.” Joshua ran up the stairs and called for Laura. She didn’t respond, so he continued to second floor, where he knew her room was. He had seen her often enough, looking out the window.

  “Laura, are you there?” Joshua knocked on her door, and even though no one responded, he knew she was there. He opened the door and found her on her bed with her iPad in her lap.

  “Did Sara come here?” he asked in the nicest tone he could muster.

  “No, I don’t think so.” Laura avoided Josh’s eyes.

  Joshua raised his eyebrows. “You don’t think so, or you know so?”

  “I didn’t see her,” Laura lied.

  “Sara says you didn’t want to let her in. Is that true?”

  “She’s lying. I never saw her.” Laura used her most innocent voice and tilted her head, which always worked with her parents. Joshua, however, didn’t seem convinced.

  “When Sara comes to see us practice, will you please show her down to the basement?”

  Laura’s eyes suddenly narrowed, and Joshua could see she was uncomfortable. “Mmm-hmm,” she said and looked at her iPad to end the conversation.

  Joshua had a strong feeling she was lying to him. But why? He closed her door, and for the first time he sympathized with Jack. He called Sara.

  When Sara told her version, Joshua was even more puzzled. Why would Laura hold such a grudge against Sara? It made no sense, but then again, who was he to understand girls and their strange behavior? Part of him wanted to go back upstairs and tell Laura to be nice to his girlfriend, but for some reason, he knew that wouldn’t do Sara any good. It would most likely just make Laura hate Sara even more. He went downstairs again to Kevin, Jack, and Dylan.

  “Are you okay, dude?” Kevin said.

  “Yeah, fine.”

  “Sara didn’t make it – that’s a bummer,” Dylan commented.

  “She was here, but the door was locked and we didn’t hear her because of the music.”

  “But my sister could have let her in,” Jack interjected.

  “I know… but Laura was listening to loud music in her room, so she didn’t hear the doorbell ring. I asked her.”

  “Oh, okay.” Jack nodded his head. “Sorry about that, man.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll bring her another time.” Joshua didn’t want to contribute to the problems that already existed between Jack and his sister, so he lied about Laura.

  He looked at his phone. “I have to go. I’m meeting Sara in ten.”

  * * * * *

  When he parked his car, he saw Sara sitting on a park bench close by. She’s so incredibly beautiful, even when she’s sad, he thought. “Hey, gorgeous.” Joshua sat down next to her. “Are you okay?”

  “Why does she hate me so much?” Sara asked him, looking hurt.

  “I don’t know. I’m sorry that happened to you. I asked her to let you in the next time you come.” Sara looked at him. He could tell she didn’t want to go back there. Joshua put his arm around her and pulled her close. “You probably don’t want to hear this, but Laura can be really nice, and I know she is having a hard time at home with Jack. He is a real jerk to her.”

  Sara looked up at Joshua. “Well, then, it runs in the family, because she is being a real jerk to me.”

  Joshua tickled Sara in a playful way. “Why don’t you go with me to the tree house and let me distract you a bit?”

  Sara responded by squirming. “Stop, stop it right now!” she said, starting to smile again.

  Joshua laughed, got up from the park bench, and pulled her with him into the forest. “I wanted to ask you something, Sara.” he said while they were walking. “Would you come up on stage with me at our next concert?”

  Sara’s eyes grew big and she slowed down her pace. “Why?” She surprised herself with how defensive she sounded.

  Joshua looked at her with a confused look. “Well, I just thought it would be a good way to make us official, and it would
give you an easier time at school with the fans, and you know...”

  “I don’t want to come up on stage.” Sara stopped walking and pulled her hand back.

  “Why not?” Joshua didn’t like where this was going. Why didn’t she want to make it official?

  “I’m sorry, Joshua, I just don’t want to. Can we leave it at that?” She could see Joshua had a confused and hurt expression on his face. He was clearly not happy with her response.

  “No, Sara, we can’t just always leave everything and move on when you don’t want to talk about it. I need to know why. I need some kind of explanation. I don’t get it.” Joshua was agitated as he stood in front of her, feeling rejected.

  “Are you ashamed of me, Sara?” Joshua’s voice sounded hard, and when she looked up to face him, she recognized that stiff, cold expression from her first piano lesson.

  “No! Of course I’m not ashamed of you.” Sara felt drained from this conversation and Laura’s slamming the door. This was definitely not the best day of her life, but there was no way she was going on that stage, exposing herself in front of hundreds or maybe thousands of people. “Why do you even want me on that stage, Joshua?” Sara couldn’t see the point. There was nothing she could contribute, since she didn’t play an instrument and couldn’t sing. “What do you want me to do up there?”

  Joshua’s voice was calm and sincere when he said, “I just want the whole world to know that you are mine.”

  Sara had no armor against his sincerity, and she couldn’t resist feeling flattered by his devotion. She looked at him with a loving smile. “That is really sweet, Joshua, but I don’t feel comfortable coming up on the stage. Please don’t make me?”

  Joshua took her hand again and started walking “Okay. I won’t, then.”

  When they got up in the tree house Sara finally felt more relaxed and happy. She was overwhelmed by Joshua’s feelings for her, and he was taking in her smiles and laughs. When Sara was girlish like this, he was completely lost, and sometimes, he had a hard time understanding that he was dating this spectacular, beautiful, innocent, sexy genius. He was convinced she could have any guy she wanted, and he could see guys turning their heads at her in school. Only Sara seemed clueless about the way she affected guys around her.

  “You know I really like you a lot,” Joshua said and pulled Sara down on his lap, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. She put her arms around his neck, kissed him softly, and looked into his eyes.

  “I really like you a lot, too.”

  Joshua’s heart was beating fast. He felt like he needed to say those three special words to her, but he didn’t know if she was ready to hear them. She was a bit elusive, and as she never showed affection at school, he was never felt a hundred percent sure about her commitment. She had still not invited him home to meet her parents, and now she had refused to come on stage with him. He didn’t know what to make of it, but he knew he wasn’t just in love with her. He loved her.

  Joshua buried his head in her hair and whispered the words, “I love you, Sara,” very softly.

  Sara heard his whisper, and although it was very quiet, she understood. It made her heart almost stop. She didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t. She hugged him and held him tight, thinking that he was the most perfect boyfriend in the world and she was a complete failure at this love thing.

  “Are you okay?” Joshua asked as he sensed that her squeeze was a little harder than usual.

  “Yes, I am absolutely fine.” She said and kissed him again. “You are the best boyfriend ever. But I have to go home now.”

  * * * * *

  Sara couldn’t sleep that night. She thought about Joshua and what he had said to her. It felt completely different from when her girlfriends or parents told her that they loved her. She thought about Joshua’s need to show their love to the world and the way he had sounded when he whispered that he loved her. She thought about it and questioned herself; she thought about whether she loved him, too. She knew she was in love with him, madly. But did she love him?

  Joshua was hot, and he could make her head spin with erotic thoughts and emotions that she had never felt before. But he was also, to some degree, possessive of her: always needed to know where she was, what she was doing, and who she was with. Part of her liked his protectiveness, but there was also a part that rejected his need for control. I know that I can trust him, she thought, and I know that I feel completely safe with him. He loves and accepts me for who I am, Sara thought. And just before closing her eyes and letting go of her conscious thoughts, she realized… I do love Joshua!

  CHAPTER 25

  Growth and contribution

  After a week back at school, Jack felt great. Senior year was the best, and when he looked at the flimsy young freshman boys, he felt almost like a grownup. Jack was well built and had always been tall. He couldn’t help having a little fun by intimidating the newcomers, and he figured that it was almost expected of him to carry on the tradition of seniors giving freshmen a hard time. After all, he had taken his share of crap from the seniors when he started high school. Now it was his turn to pass it on.

  The only problem was Elizabeth’s reaction when she saw or heard about it. She disapproved intensely, and yesterday when he and Kevin had taken a bag of chips from a freshman in the cafeteria, she had looked at both of them with disapproval. “Return it,” she had insisted.

  “Come on, it’s just a bag of chips,” Kevin said jokingly, but Elizabeth didn’t back down.

  “Either you give it back or I will personally go buy him a new bag and find another place to sit.” Elizabeth’s voice had a no-bullshit tone that made Kevin feel uncomfortable enough to comply. Jack had no doubt that Elizabeth would do it. It was rare for her to stay with their group for lunch for a whole week anyway. She would normally move around the tables and was welcome anywhere. Jack had been glad to see her around, and he was hoping that he had something to do with her choice of lunch table. He didn’t want to screw it up.

  “Why are you so uptight about it?” Kevin asked when he returned. “It’s tradition to give the freshmen a hard time. You are taking it too seriously, man.”

  Elizabeth pinned Kevin with her eyes. “It used to be tradition for teachers to beat up kids in school. Not all traditions are good, and I believe in changing bad traditions.”

  Jack raised his eyebrows. “Holy crap, you do take it seriously.” But inside he felt even more drawn to Elizabeth for her strength, standing up for a kid she didn’t even know. Part of him wanted to be like her, so independent, always staying strong and doing what she thought was right. Two minutes later, she was the same old easygoing Elizabeth who laughed and joked with them, and he wondered how she could shift so easily and quickly from upset to happy.

  “So are you ready for the concert next week, guys?” Elizabeth asked.

  “We are super psyched about it. And did you hear the good news?” Kevin looked excited and happy.

  “What?” Elizabeth looked from Kevin to Jack and Joshua, who suddenly seemed irritated. “What is it?” she repeated.

  “Kevin… it was supposed to be a secret,” Joshua said reproachfully.

  “I’m sorry about that. I’m just so excited about it – and come on, guys, it’s just Queeny. She is not going to tell anyone; we can trust her.” Dylan, Joshua, and Jack all exchanged looks, and finally, Jack said: “There’s a talent scout coming to our next concert.”

  “What? That’s amazing.” Elizabeth was genuinely happy and had a wide smile on her face. “Who is it?”

  “Well, we send our demos to every big recording studio, and we got contacted by Devine Records, who said our sound was, quote, ‘New and funky.’” Kevin’s eyes were glowing as he talked.

  “I love it, I love it,” Elizabeth said softly while jumping a bit in her seat. “This is huge, guys, and I just know he will love you, because you are amazing. Everyone thinks so.”

  * * * * *

  Victoria looked across the cafeteria and wat
ched her sister Elizabeth and the four guys from TUA laughing. She noticed how happy they all looked and wondered what they were talking about.

  “So, are you joining us for the bake sale?” Sara got Victoria’s attention with her question.

  “Oh yes, I am.” Victoria smiled at Sara and Amber.

  “So, I was thinking we could do it on Friday – a week from today. I was planning to talk to the local supermarket and ask if we can put up a table.”

  “Good idea. I will bring cinnamon rolls and a chocolate cake,” Victoria exclaimed.

  “That leaves me to make and frost some cupcakes!” Sara smiled.

  “Super! I am making brownies. They are sure to sell.” Amber looked uplifted. “It’ll be fun! And I was thinking about where we can donate the money. How about the suicide prevention hotline?”

  “Sure.” Sara and Victoria both nodded.

  “So what about me? Am I not trusted to bake a cake or what?” The three girls turned their heads and looked at Benjamin with surprise.

  “Well, can you bake?”

  “Can I bake? Are you really asking me if I can bake?” Benjamin pretended to be insulted. “Clearly, you have never tasted the famous, top-secret Colemann Angel Cake recipe.”

  “No, I don’t think we have.” Amber looked at Victoria and Sara with a big smile.

  “Well, then, you have something to look forward to indeed, and may I just give a small warning here?” Benjamin leaned forward and lowered his voice, “I can guarantee that you will all be begging for the recipe, so I need to make it clear, ladies: this Angel Cake recipe is not for sharing. It goes back at least nine generations.”

  Sara laughed. “Nine generations on your mother’s side, Benjamin? I didn’t know Native Americans made a lot of Angel Cake back then.”

  “Don’t be silly. It’s from my father’s side, of course.” Benjamin laughed.

  “Right, so your father taught you to bake Angel Cake?” Sara said skeptically.

  “It doesn’t matter. We will be delighted to taste your wonderful cake and delighted to have your company on Friday, Ben.” Amber looked at Benjamin with a big smile of gratitude.

  “Always happy to serve a worthy cause.” Benjamin took a small bow and turned around to head for class.