The Cheerful Smugglers

  VI

  BRIDGET

  When the Commonwealth of Bobberts had adopted the Fenelby DomesticTariff it had been Mrs. Fenelby's duty to inform Bridget of it, andto explain it to her, and for two days Mrs. Fenelby worried aboutit. It was only by exercising the most superhuman wiles that aservant could be persuaded to sojourn in the suburb. To hold one inthrall it was necessary to practice the most consummate diplomacy.The suburban servant knows she is a rare and precious article, andshe is apt to be headstrong and independent, and so she must bedriven with a tight rein and strong hand, and yet she is so apt toleave at a moment's notice if anything offends her, that she must bedriven with a light rein and a hand as light and gentle as a bit ofthistledown floating on a zephyr. This is a hard combination toattain. It is like trying to drive a skittish and headstrong horse,densely constructed of lamp-chimneys and window glass, down a roughcobble-stoned hill road. If given the rein the glass horse will dashmadly to flinders, and if the rein is held taut the horse's glasshead will snap off and the whole business go to crash. No jugglerkeeping alternate cannon-balls and feathers in the air everexercised greater nicety of calculation than did Mrs. Fenelby in heract of at once retaining and restraining Bridget.

  To go boldly into the kitchen and announce to Bridget that she wouldhereafter be expected to pay into Bobberts' bank ten per cent. ofthe value of every necessity and thirty per cent. of the value ofevery luxury she brought into the house was the last thing that Mrs.Fenelby would have thought of doing. There were bits in that roughsketch of human nature known as Bridget's character that did notharmonize with the idea. There had been nothing said, when Bridgethad been engaged, about a domestic tariff. Paying one is not usuallyconsidered a part of a general house-worker's duties, and Mrs.Fenelby felt that it would be poor policy to break this news toBridget too abruptly. She used diplomacy.

  "Bridget," she said, kindly, "we are very well satisfied with theway you do your work. We like you very well indeed."

  "Thank ye, ma'am," answered Bridget, "and I'm glad to hear ye say it,though it makes little odds t' me. I do the best I know how, ma'am,and if ye don't like the way I do, there is plenty of other ladieswould be glad t' get me."

  "But we do like the way you do," said Mrs. Fenelby eagerly. "We areperfectly satisfied--perfectly!"

  "From th' way ye started off," said Bridget, with a shrug of hershoulders, "I thought ye was goin' t' give me th' bounce. Some doesit that way."

  "No, indeed," Mrs. Fenelby assured her. "Especially not as you takesuch an interest in dear little Bobberts. You seem to like him aswell as if he was your own little brother. Did I tell you what Mr.Fenelby had planned for him?"

  "Somethin' t' make more worrk for me, is it?" asked Bridgetsuspiciously.

  "Not at all!" said Mrs. Fenelby. "It is just about his education;about when he gets old enough to go to college."

  "'Twill be a long time from now before then," said Bridget. "I cansee it has nawthin' to do with me."

  "But that is just it," said Mrs. Fenelby. "It has something to dowith you--and with all of us. With everyone in this house. You lovelittle Bobberts so much that you will be glad to help in hiseducation."

  "Will I?" said Bridget in a way that was not too encouraging.

  "Yes, I know you will," Mrs. Fenelby chirped cheerfully, "because itis the cutest plan. I know you will be so interested in it. Mr.Fenelby thought of it himself, and he told me to tell you about it,because, really, you know, you are just like one of the family--"

  "Barring I have t' be in at ten o'clock and have t' sleep in th'attic," Bridget interposed. "And don't eat with th' family. And afew other differences. But go ahead and tell me what is th' extryworrk."

  "Well, it isn't extra work at all," said Mrs. Fenelby reassuringly."It is just a way we thought of to raise money to pay for Bobberts'education. It is like a government and taxes, and everybody in thefamily pays part of the taxes--"

  "I was wonderin' why I was one of the family so much, all of asuddent," said Bridget. "I thought something was comin'. I noticethat whenever I get to be one of th' family, ma'am, where ever Ihappen t' be workin', something comes. But it never has been taxesbefore. It is a new one to me, taxes is."

  Mrs. Fenelby explained as clearly as she could the meaning andmethod of the Fenelby Domestic Tariff, and its simple schedule ofrates, and Bridget listened attentively. Mrs. Fenelby expected anexplosion, and was prepared for it.

  "I'm sure I'm much obliged t' ye, Missus Fenelby," said Bridget,sarcastically, "an' 'tis a great honor ye are doin' me t' take meinto th' family this way, but 'tis agin me principles t' be one ofth' family on sixteen dollars a month when there is tariffs in th'same family. I'm thinkin' I'll stay outside th' family, ma'am. An' ifye will kindly let me past, I'll go up an' be packin' up me trunk."

  "But Bridget," Mrs. Fenelby said, quickly, "I am not through yet. Iknew you couldn't afford to pay the--the tariff. I didn't expect youto, out of your wages. And if you had just waited a minute I wasgoing to tell you that, seeing that you will be out of pocket by thetariff, I am going to pay you eighteen dollars a month after this."

  "Well, of course," said Bridget with a sweet smile, "I was onlyjokin' about me trunk."

  So that was all settled, and Mrs. Fenelby felt at ease, but she didnot think it necessary to tell her husband about the extra twodollars a month. It came out of her housekeeping money, and shecould economize a little on something else.

  "Laura," said her husband that evening, "have you spoken to Bridgetabout the tariff yet?"

  "Yes, dear," she answered, and he said that was right, and that shemust see that Bridget lived up to it. But he did not tell her thathe had interviewed Bridget while Mrs. Fenelby was upstairs a fewminutes before, nor that he had privately agreed with Bridget to payher two dollars a month extra out of his own pocket provided sheaccepted the Fenelby Domestic Tariff, and abided by it, just as ifshe was one of the family. Neither did Bridget think it worth whileto mention it to Mrs. Fenelby. From the time she was informed of theexistence of the tariff up to the arrival of Kitty Bridget paid intoBobberts' bank twenty cents. This was the duty on a two dollar hatthat even the most critical mind could not have called a luxury, andthere Bridget's payments seemed to stop. She did not seem to feelthe need of making any purchases just then.

  "Kitty, dear," said Mrs. Fenelby, gently, the morning of the dampfoot-prints on the porch, after the men had started for the station,"that is a pretty shirt-waist you have on this morning."

  "Do you like it?" asked Kitty, innocently. "Don't you think it is alittle tight across the shoulders?"

  "No," said Mrs. Fenelby. "And I like this skirt better than the oneyou were wearing yesterday."

  There was no mistaking the meaning of that. The way Mrs. Fenelbybowed over the bit of sewing she had taken up was evidence that shehad suspicion in her mind. Kitty clasped her hands behind her backand laughed.

  "You have been looking into my closet!" she declared. "You sit thereand try to look innocent, and you know everything that I have, downto the last ribbon! Well, I just can't afford to pay your oldtariff. It would simply ruin me. And the men will never know,anyway. They don't notice such things. I could wear a differentdress every day, and they wouldn't know it."

  "But I know it," said Laura, reprovingly. "Do you think it is right,Kitty, to smuggle things into the house that way? Is it fair toBobberty?"

  "There!" exclaimed Kitty, dropping a jingling coin into Bobberts'bank. "There is a quarter for him! That is every cent I can afford."

  "That wouldn't pay the duty on one single shirt-waist," said Laura,quietly.

  "It wouldn't," admitted Kitty, frankly, bending over Laura andtaking her face in her hands. She turned the face upward and lookedin its eyes. Then she bent down and whispered in Laura's ear, andlaughed as a blush suffused Laura's face.

  "I was short of money," said Laura with dignity, "and I mean to paythe duty as soon as I get my next week's allowance. I simply had tohave a new purse, and you coaxed me to buy it. It wasn't s
mugglingat all."

  "Wasn't it?" asked Kitty. "Then why did you ask me to leave it inmy room, instead of showing it to Tom? Smuggler!"

  Mrs. Fenelby arose and walked away. She turned to the kitchen andopened the door. She was just in time to see Bridget lower a bottlefrom her lips and hastily conceal it behind her skirts.

  "Bridget!" she exclaimed sharply, with horror.

  "'Tis th' doctor's orders, ma'am," said Bridget. "'Tis for me cold."

  She coughed as well as she could, but it was not a very successfulcough. Mrs. Fenelby hesitated a moment, and then she pointed to thedoor.

  "You may pack your trunk, Bridget," she said, and Bridget jerked offher apron and stamped out of the kitchen.

  "But perhaps the poor thing was taking it by her doctor's orders,"suggested Kitty, when Mrs. Fenelby, red eyed, went into the frontrooms again.

  "She'll have to go," said Mrs. Fenelby, dolefully. "I can't have adrinking servant where poor, dear Bobberts is. But that isn't whatmakes me feel so badly. It is to think how that girl has deceivedme. I treated her just as I would treat one of the family, and shepretended to be so fond of Bobberts, and so interested in hiseducation, and so eager to help his fund, and here she has beensmuggling liquor into the house all the time."

  She wiped her eyes and sighed.

  "And liquor is a luxury, and pays thirty per cent.," she said sadly."I don't know who to trust when I can't trust a girl like Bridget.She should have paid the duty the minute she brought the stuff intothe house. It just shows that you can't place any reliance on thatclass."

  Kitty nodded assent.

  "You'll have to pay her," she said. "Shall I run up and get yourpurse?"

  She went, and as she reached the hall, Billy entered. He gazed atKitty's garments closely, making mental note of them for futurecomparisons, and as he stood aside to let her pass he held one handcarefully out of sight behind him. It held a package--an oblongpackage, sharply rectangular in shape. A close observer would havesaid it was a box such as contains fifty cigars when it is full, butit was not full. Billy had taken one of the cigars out when he madethe purchase at the station cigar store.