You Too Can Be A Millionaire

Shefrowned at the tremendous, low-lying dome that covered the horizon inthe distance and marked Central Audit Bureau. "I haven't seen him sincethen."

  "Hm," said Mark.

  "Well, now," Penelope said briskly. "I'll make you a regular businessdeal. I'll teach you, and for all you get, you give me twenty per cent.See how many you can get. Try for ten thousand. That'll give yousomething to shoot at."

  "Maybe I can beat the Machine," Mark said eagerly.

  Penelope swallowed. "They say you can't beat the Machine. But I guess itwon't hurt to try."

  Mark did well. At first he just walked down the street stopping peopleas fast as he could get to them. "You didn't recognize me, sir," hewould say indignantly. "I met you at Central concourse two years ago.Remember? You stood right in front of me in line for three hours, and wetalked about our new suits. Remember? My feelings are injured becauseyou ignored me just now. Fifty points. Will you sign my slip, please?"

  His credit reached the black the first week. He was netting five hundredpoints a day, and it was fun, but Penelope said, "We'll go for biggerstakes. This is kindergarten stuff. Now here's the way you start...."

  * * * * *

  So the next morning Mark managed to get himself knocked down four times,and each time he came up with a skinned knee and collected from fivehundred to eight hundred and fifty points. He was learning, Penelopeassured him when he gleefully showed her his card at the end of the day.Mark was elated. That day he had gathered fifty-one hundred points.

  "But this can get monotonous, too," Penelope said. "Anyway, you can't goaround forever with a sandpapered knee. You're learning fast, and you'relearning right. Old Point-a-Minute Charlie was the best there was, inhis day, and he always said you make more points guessing character thanyou do falling down. Know your victim before you have an accident, andthen hit him for all he will pay and hit him quick--the way I did you."She chuckled. "My commission for today is one thousand and twentypoints. Here, sign my slip, please."

  Mark signed. It was a cheap price to pay for the fact that life was nolonger pointless. He decided he'd try to gather a credit of one hundredthousand points.

  He worked on bigger stuff. He didn't try just everybody. He picked hissigners with care. He slept until nine every morning and he and Penelopeplayed two-handed bridge at a tenth of a point a point until midnight.He felt sorry for the poor suckers who had to get out at sunup and treadthe sidewalks until dark to get enough points to satisfy Central. Theywere working like slaves, while he was living the life of Point-a-MinuteCharlie.

  It was a lovely existence. He forgot about Penelope's slip forthirty-five thousand. He could almost pay it off anyway. Then came theday when he pulled his grand coup.

  He spent a week planning it, with Penelope's shrewd advice. Heremembered what she had said about the man on the ladder in thenineteen-forties. He sandpapered his back and painted an irregular spotwith merthiolate and iodine, and practiced twisting his back until itlooked out of shape. Then he went out and watched for an absent-minded,nervous, excitable-looking man to try his next effort on.

  Penelope's biggest advice was, "Preparation is half the points," so itwas three days before Mark found the right person. After he found him itwas very simple. He signaled Penelope to follow, and then he walkedbehind the man until they came to a high curb.

  Mark moved out to the left. The man started to step up on the curb. Markdarted across in front of the man just as the man raised his foot. Markmanaged to stumble exactly in front of the man. His arms went out andone hand caught the little man's leg. The little man fell squarely ontop of him, assisted by a slight push from Penelope.

  Mark groaned heart-breakingly. In a moment there was a crowd. The littleman was getting up, bewildered, and automatically trying to dust off histype K suit. Mark lay half on the curb, half off, squirming like abroken-back snake. "My back," he moaned piteously. "Oh, my back."

  The little man seemed paralyzed at the enormity of the thing he haddone. He stared at Mark and Mark squirmed harder and moaned louder. ThenPenelope hobbled up and pulled Mark's shirttail out of his trousers. Theiodine spot on his back looked yellow and purple, and there were gaspsfrom the crowd.

  "He did it!" Mark said, glaring accusingly at the little man. "Hetripped me. He tripped me and broke my back!"

  Penelope was putting on a good act too, crying and wringing her handsand moaning. "My poor boy!" she said, over and over. A woman in thecrowd came up and made a very expressive raspberry in the little man'sface. The little man was not only bewildered; he was frightened. Markadjudged the time had come.

  "Points for my broken back!" he cried. Penelope held out a slip to thelittle man. He signed it dazedly, then he slipped out of the crowd,while three men picked up Mark and laid him tenderly in Penelope'sreclining wheel-chair.

  Mark could hardly contain himself. As soon as they were safely out ofsight he said excitedly, "Let me see the slip."

  Penelope looked around. She kept pushing him but she handed over theslip.

  "Fifty thousand points!" Mark read under his breath. "Isn't thatwonderful!" He couldn't remember ever having felt so elated in his life.

  Penelope was shaking her head wonderingly. "That was a good act," shesaid. "I'd never have had the nerve to try that myself."

  "Oh, that's nothing." Mark was enthusiastic. "As soon as I get fitted upwith a magnelite brace so it'll look good, I'm going to knock a pieceout of that curbing, and then if I can find out who's the registeredowner of it I'll hit him for twenty-five thousand."

  * * * * *

  Mark got the twenty-five thousand. The owner of the sidewalk was finallyconvinced that Mark's broken back was worth a lot. From then on therewas no holding Mark. Pretending to act for the little man who hadoriginally knocked him down, he located the woman who had made araspberry in the little man's face and collected another two thousand;the woman didn't recognize Mark, because Mark's features were changed alittle.

  Then Mark spotted two others who had made threatening noises andcollected five hundred from each, and from another who expressed doubtthat he was really hurt, Mark got a thousand points. There was nothingto it, really. Most people had regular beats, and all Mark had to do wassit at one side in Penelope's wheel-chair and wait for them to come by.He would have collected more if he could have remembered more faces. Hesaw Conley go by once a day but now he wasn't afraid. He thought Conleylooked at him disappointedly.

  A couple of weeks later he got his card back from the Machine at Centraland looked at it with great satisfaction. He had a hundred and thirteenthousand points to his credit. He met Penelope and they went to herapartment for dinner. Jubilantly Mark got all the fancy food--even somesynthetic meat--that he could get on his card, and they prepared for afeast.

  "The only thing is," Penelope said as she punched the dishes on thetable, "I'm scared. I have a feeling you shouldn't have gone over ahundred thousand."

  "Is that why you never cashed my slip for thirty-five thousand?"

  She nodded. "That's mostly the reason. My balance is over eightythousand and I was afraid."

  "Afraid of what?"

  "I don't know. Just afraid."

  "Well," said Mark, "I'm not. I don't see what Central can do to a personfor getting points. There's no rule against it."

  "It's dangerous," Penelope insisted.

  "Nevertheless, I have made a decision. A hundred thousand points--that'snothing." His head was high. "I'm going after a million points!"

  Penelope gasped. "Mark, you mustn't do anything like that. You have nouse for a million points."

  "No," Mark said complacently, "but it's a lot of fun getting them. Andit gives me something worth while to do. We'll sit up till three o'clockevery morning and play bridge, and I'll stay in bed till noon, and dreamup new stunts. I'll pull one a week. Life is going to be worth living."

  The announcing light showed at the door. Penelope pressed the admittancebutton. A tall, thin man came in a momen
t later. "Mark Renner?" heasked.

  Mark jumped. "Conley!" Mark's stomach had a funny feeling in it.

  "They told me I would find you here," Conley said.

  Penelope had recovered enough to gasp. "What do you want?"

  "I'm from Central Audit Bureau."

  "That's just lovely," Penelope said, "but it doesn't mean anything to usbut a place where we get our cards balanced."

  "It should mean something to you," Conley said