For Real

  “Well if we’re going to play it that way, then we should make it believable.” I motion for him to lean down and I shake my hands through his hair, making it a little messy. Then I do the same with my hair. I make him take his jacket off, and I muss both of our clothes so it looks like we put them on in haste. As one last little touch, I reapply my lip gloss and then smear a little on Jett’s mouth. My fingers brush across his lips and he stays still as I do my work, but I want him to kiss my fingers. For a guy, his lips are surprisingly soft, but still firm. Sculpted.

  “What do you think?” I say, putting my arms out to show my dishevelment.

  “Perfect.” He brushes my hair back from my face and his hand lingers for a second on the side of my face. Then he slides his hand into mine and I lean against his shoulder as we walk back toward the mayhem.

  Pretending we’d had a little nature nookie is the best thing we could have done. Jett gets pats on the back and knowing looks and I hear a few guys whispering about me being easy. Whatever. I don’t give a shit what a bunch of drunken frat boys think of me. They aren’t going to remember tomorrow, anyway.

  Javier, on the other hand acts like I’ve done something that’s worth celebrating. He “buys me a drink” (meaning he gets me a new cup and fills it from the keg) and says that if I ever want to ditch Jett and “come over to the dark side” he’d be more than happy to “show me the ropes.” I feel like he should put air quotes around everything he says.

  Jett just keeps his hand in mine and I lean against him. It’s getting late and the beer is getting to me and all I want was to curl up under some blankets and sleep.

  “You ready to go?” Jett says as I finish the drink Javier had “bought” me.

  I nod and we round up the rest of our group. As I assumed, Daisy is nowhere to be found and when I text her, she sends back a terse response that tells me she’s going to be staying here. Tanner is absolutely trashed. Like, can’t-even-focus-his-eyes-or-lift-his-head-or-remember-his-name. Somehow, between me, Jett and a not-quite-so-trashed Jordyn, we get him back to the car.

  “Dude, if you pee or puke in my car, I’m going to beat the fucking shit out of you,” Jett says as we lay him across the backseat and Jordyn gets in, pulling his head onto her lap. I feel guilty for foisting my friends off on him. I should have known this would happen.

  “Mgussshh gusshhss uggissshhh.” Or at least that’s what I think he says.

  “Shh, it’s okay baby,” Jordyn says, stroking his hair back. “We’ll get you McDonald’s in a little while.”

  “Is that what he said?” I ask.

  “I think so,” Jordyn says and I get in the front seat as Tanner starts wailing about something. Great. An emotional drunk. But Jordyn wipes his tears, shushes him like a baby and rocks him.

  I’m relieved when I give him the directions to Jordyn’s place. Her car is at mine, but I don’t think she should be driving and neither does he. She can come and get her car tomorrow.

  Jett helps her get a now sobbing Tanner up the stairs and safely into the apartment.

  “I do not envy her at all. He looked like he was about to blow chunks everywhere when I shut the door,” Jett says.

  “I’m sorry for making you drive, and for having to deal with them.”

  “You have to stop apologizing, Shan. It’s okay. I can handle it.” His voice is soft, but his tone tells me to drop it. So I start thinking about something else, and then I start panicking.

  Jett is spending the night. In my house. On the floor, but still. He’s going to be sleeping, one of the most intimate things you can do with someone. What if he snores? I don’t think I snore. Hazel would have told me about that, right? She has no problem telling me about things like that. Yeah, she would have told me.

  “You sure you want me to stay?” He turns off the car and turns and looks at me full on. His eyes glitter in the dark under the automatic light of the porch, like stars.

  “We’re doing this all the way, Fake Boyfriend,” I say with more confidence than I feel. We walk to my front door and I unlock it, no password required.

  “Did you bring anything to stay over?” I say as I put my purse down on the table.

  “Shit, yeah. In the car.” He goes out and comes back with his backpack. God, I hope there are sleep clothes in there.

  I pour us both glasses of water. I know I definitely need to hydrate. I also go and grab a bottle of aspirin, shake a few out and toss them back with a swig of water.

  It’s nearly two in the morning and I really just want to go to bed, but I’m also strangely wired. Like I’ve had too much caffeine.

  “I think I’m going to brush my teeth,” he says, taking his backpack with him to the bathroom. While he’s gone, I go and get my pajamas. Definitely going with a bra, even though it’s going to be crazy uncomfortable. I also add a t-shirt and pants set that has smiley faces all over it and had been a present from my parents a few Christmases ago. I know they love me, but they have no idea who I am, or what I would want on my pajamas.

  I’m putting the top on over my head when I hear Jett in the kitchen. I pull the shirt down and make sure my nipples aren’t showing through the combination of the bra and the shirt and then go out.

  For the love of all things holy.

  “Hey, do you have any tea or anything?” I’m momentarily struck silent. My eyes are too busy staring at his arms and collarbone. He’s wearing a black tank and grey sweatpants that are pretty damn tight. Hot. Damn.

  It’s hard to tell, but I think the tattoo on his arm is actually one of two dragons, one red, one blue. The one in red goes across the front of his chest, and the second in blue across his back, with the tail wrapping up and around his neck. The waves on his other arm are beautiful, and I catch a detail that I hadn’t seen before. There’s a little boat bobbing in all the chaos of the storm. I wonder what it means. My eyes finally unglue themselves from staring at his tattoos, and when they finally make it back to his face, I realize he’s looking for an answer from me about . . . something. I sift through my brain until I find it. Tea. He’d asked about tea.

  “Yeah, there’s some in the cabinet on your left.” He turns around and I get a glimpse of the blue dragon on his back. I really want to ask him to take off his shirt.

  Jett gets out two mugs and fills them up and sticks them in the microwave. He hasn’t commented on my attire and I suspect it’s because I look like a dork. Great.

  I like honey in my tea, so I go to the cabinet to grab the honey, just as the microwave beeps and Jett moves to get the mugs out, and we crash into each other.

  “Sorry!” we both say at the same time and move away from each other, but his hands are still on my waist. He laughs and I laugh as well, but all I can think of are his hands on me.

  The microwave is still beeping, but it’s distant, even though I’m standing right next to it.

  “Sorry,” he says again, his voice low. I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.

  “It’s okay,” I whisper. His eyes really are exceptional. There are even bits of blue and green in them if you look really close. Like they’re sprinkled with little bits of different colors of glitter.

  And before I can say a word to stop him, he’s bending down and kissing me. My hands go to his chest to push him away, but I can’t find the strength. Warmth flows through my veins, and my lips are on fire. Of their own volition, my hands slide up and around his shoulders, pulling him down so he’s closer. His hands are gripping me so hard that I know there will be marks. I can’t find it in me to care.

  Breathing becomes secondary to focusing on the intricate dance our mouths are doing with each other. His tongue licks the seam of my mouth, asking me to let him in. Yes, Jett, you may come in. I open my mouth, and he takes full advantage.

  Wow.

  But just as soon as the kiss starts, it’s over. His lips and tongue withdraw from my mouth, my eyes open and I find him, breathing hard, while he too blinks as if he’s just come out of a trance.
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  “You just broke Rule Five. No goodnight kiss unless we’re in public,” I say, licking my lips. He tastes really good.

  “And four, technically,” he says, his voice rough. He clears his throat and his hands finally leave my hips. “But I like to think that was incidental contact. My lips were drawn to yours. It was against my will. I couldn’t help it.” He laughs a little breathlessly as I find myself biting my lip. I back away from him and he does the same.

  “Well, I don’t know what I can do about that, Fake Boyfriend.” I open the microwave and pull out the two mugs of tea, then shove one at him, and it sloshes on the floor, nearly burning his feet.

  “Sorry!” He just shakes his head and then grabs a roll of paper towels off the counter and starts mopping up the water. I decide the best course of action is to commence with making the tea, so I do that as Jett straightens, and then tosses the wet paper towels in the trashcan.

  The apartment feels too quiet, so I take my iPod and put it in the speakers Hazel bought. “Can I Stay” by Ray LaMontagne comes on, and Jett looks at me with recognition. Can it be possible that we listen to the same music? It’s also a little ironic, this song being the first one that comes on. We both laugh a little.

  “You know this song?” I say as we sit across from each other. My lips are still buzzing from the kiss.

  “Yeah. I do.” He stirs his tea and I know there’s more to it than that.

  “I love this song. It’s also appropriate, given the circumstances,” I say. He just answers with a smile and we both sip our tea.

  I thought the music would make things better, but it’s actually made this awkward again. Somehow.

  We’re silent as we listen to Ray’s glorious voice and then the music shuffles to “Only You” by Ellie Goulding. I’ve got all kinds of stuff on there, but it feels like my iPod has ulterior motives tonight.

  “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” I say as Jett takes his mug to the sink and starts washing it out. I join him and he moves away from me, as if he’s afraid to get close to me. I try not to pout.

  “If you want to. Aren’t you tired?”

  “Yeah, it is late. What time do you have class?”

  “Not until ten.”

  “Oh. Good. I don’t have one until eleven.” I wipe my hands on a dishtowel and I just don’t know what to do here.

  “I should go,” he says, backing up.

  “No, stay,” I whisper. I want him to stay. I like being with him, and I don’t want this to be the end.

  “Do you want me to stay?”

  “I do.” The words hang in the air between us, like they’re real and have taken on weight. He breathes out slowly.

  “Okay.”

  We decide to watch a movie, and it’s déjà vu from when we’d been at his place, only I had a lot of girlie movies that were Hazel’s. My collection is a little different.

  “You have two copies of Willow?” he says, his head sideways as he looks at my collection.

  “Yeah. One is a special edition.” He smiles and keeps looking. And then he grabs a box and hands it to me.

  “Labyrinth?” Unexpected choice.

  “I haven’t seen this movie in so long. All I remember is Bowie with the insane hair.” It is pretty insane.

  We settle ourselves on the couch, with enough space between us there’s no chance of incidental contact. I start the movie, and I try to watch it and not Jett.

  “Wow, I never realized how bad that CGI owl is at the beginning.” My eyes may be on the screen, but my focus is on Jett and all the exposed skin.

  “Yeah, I know,” I say, even though I’m not sure what he’s talking about. I give myself a mental slap and focus again on the movie, but then I feel Jett’s eyes on me. He’s probably thinking how unattractive my pajamas are. Sigh.

  “Jesus, there’s a lot of glitter in this movie,” I say. It’s also been years since I watched this too. It’s even more awesome than I remember. Jett and I laugh at the same parts, and talk the whole time. My eyes start getting heavy and I lean on the arm of the couch and before I know it, my body is moving.

  For a moment, I don’t know where I am. Then my eyes open and I realize I’m being carried. I look up and panic until it clicks in my brain that Jett is carrying me.

  He sets me gently down on my bed and then pulls back the covers.

  “Hey,” he says when he sees my open eyes.

  “Hey.” My voice is thick with sleep.

  “The movie ended and you fell asleep,” he says by way of an explanation for the carrying. He doesn’t need to justify it to me. It’s not like he did something completely outrageous. If I were naked, then he’d have some explaining to do.

  “Thank you,” I say, and his face is still really close to mine. He seems like he’s waiting for something. A kiss? I don’t think I can take another one tonight.

  And then he stands and walks around my bed and to the mattress I’d made up for him. He sits down and I roll onto my other side so I’m facing him. I’m awake again. Jett props his hands on his knees. Our faces are almost level. At this point, it’s almost morning. I am going to be so “hung over” from this night. Hopefully both of us can sleep in. But my experience with Hazel tells me that might not be the case. She likes to make a lot of noise when she comes home.

  “We should probably get to sleep,” I say, adjusting my pillow.

  “Yeah, you’re right. Goodnight,” Jett says, reaching out and touching the side of my face. It’s not incidental contact, but I’m going to let it slide.

  “Goodnight. Sleep well.” He smiles and then moves onto his side, facing me, and closes his eyes. I do the same, but open my eyes a moment later. His are still closed. In the dim green light of my clock, I can study him without it being weird.

  Or maybe watching someone while they sleep is weird. Yeah, it’s weird. I close my eyes again and try to get to sleep.

  I’m awoken by a bang in the kitchen and then a loud voice cursing. Hazel is home.

  I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Jett. Usually when I fall asleep, I stay in that position and don’t move. The boy on my floor, however, is no longer on his side. He’s on his back, with all of his limbs flung out. Almost like he’d fallen backwards onto the mattress with a splat. I lean over and watch him for a minute, then run my fingers through my hair to fix it because it’s probably fabulous right now. But it’s nothing compared to Jett’s. His is all over the place, just like his body.

  There’s another crash and I glare at the door, as if I’m glaring at Hazel. It’s only seven in the morning. So much for sleeping in. I hate to wake Jett, but if we’re going to put on a performance of post-coital bliss, we’ve got to get cracking.

  “Jett? Jett.” I touch his shoulder gently and the reaction I get isn’t what I’m expecting.

  One of his hands flies up and punches me right in the eye.

  “Oh my God!” I fall back against my pillows and grip my face. He missed my actual eye and sort of got my cheekbone. After I open and close my eye a couple times, I decide it isn’t that bad. I just hope it doesn’t bruise.

  “What happened?” Jett’s face pops up from behind the edge of my bed.

  “Uh, you punched me. What a way to wake up. I’d rather have coffee,” I say, poking at my cheek. “I think it startled me more than anything.”

  “Shit, I am so sorry. Let me see,” he reaches for my face, and at first I want to pull away, but I stay still so he can see it.

  “It’s a little red, but I don’t think it’ll leave a mark. Good thing I didn’t get you in the eye, or you might have a shiner. I am so sorry. I should have warned you that I have a tendency to lash out if you try to wake me. But I guess you know that now.”

  “Yup.” I think he’s making light of it, but his hands are gentle as he probes the side of my face to make sure he didn’t do any damage.

  “I’m sorry, princess.” I’m about to tell him he just violated a rule, but he uses the edge of my mattress to p
ull himself up and plant a quick kiss on my cheek.

  “There. All better.” He grins at me and then springs to his feet. Ugh, I hate morning people.

  “Rule violator,” I say as I glare at him. He comes and sits next to me on my bed.

  “Your hair looks fabulous right now, Shan.” He ruffles my hair and I dive for his mohawk, mussing it with my fingers. Then he goes for my ribs and starts tickling me. Oh hell no.

  “Stop it!” I shriek.

  My door bangs open and from my vantage point, I see Hazel’s jegging-clad legs.

  “Well, hello there.” She says as Jett and I freeze mid-tickle. He recovers quicker than I do and springs up to introduce himself to Hazel.

  “Nice to see you again,” she says, and it reminds me of meeting Javier. “Can I get you some breakfast?” None of us have an early class today, which is good, and means we have time to eat and take a little nap beforehand. I’ve only got two classes, but then I have to work tonight. Why had I decided to go to the party last night?

  “Yeah, thanks. That would be great. Do you need any help?” Hazel gives me a quick look and then focuses her attention back on Jett.

  “She needs all the help she can get,” I say, getting up and moving past both of them to see what Hazel is pretending to make.

  Just as I suspected. Frozen waffles.

  I shake my head and take the waffles and put them in the toaster, then go to the fridge. I may or may not have bought a ton of food just for Jett, so he didn’t have to deal with any of Hazel’s cooking, or our normal fare of Ramen and boxed macaroni and cheese. I also may have blown my budget for two weeks on said food. Fake Dating is expensive.

  I get the eggs and bacon started and realize that Jett and Hazel have been gone for a really long time. I turn down the burners and sneak back to my bedroom.

  They’re talking, but their voices are too low for me to hear properly. I lean closer and it hits me, far too late, that the door isn’t closed. I lean too far over and lose my balance, crashing headfirst through the door and onto the floor.