Dare to Fall
“No,” she says without looking up.
“You should come,” I urge, even though she isn’t paying me any attention. Trying to reason with her, I prop my elbow up onto the table and bend forward, trying to invade her line of sight. “It’s homecoming, Dani. You can’t miss it. I’m sure Jaden would love to see you there again.”
Out of nowhere, Mrs. Bolan pops up by my side and scares the hell out of me when she hisses, “Shhh.” Her eyebrows are furrowed with disapproval.
“Sorry,” I whisper, holding up my hands in surrender and giving her a polite, apologetic smile until she turns and walks back over to her desk. As soon as she sits down, I quickly twist my body back to face Dani, who still has her eyes fixated on her book. “Please come with Will and me,” I whisper, careful to keep my voice down this time. “I really, really want you to come. I don’t want you to miss out.”
Heaving a drastic sigh of defeat, Dani slaps her book shut and fires her gaze up to meet mine, folding her arms across her chest. Like me, she isn’t wearing any orange today. “Kenzie, I get it. You’re trying to make amends, and I appreciate that, but I like being alone, and I’m not going to the game.” She says her words with such firm finality that I realize instantly that there’s not much of a fight here. As she opens her book again and returns to reading as though I’m not even here, I grab my Physics textbook and ram it back into my bag.
“Actually,” I say, rising to my feet, “I’m asking you to come to the game because I want you to, not because I’m trying to be a Good Samaritan, or because I feel like I have to, or because I’m trying to earn your forgiveness. It’s as simple as that,” I tell her truthfully. I’m not even whispering anymore and I don’t care if I sound harsh, but I’m quickly learning that some tough love is sometimes necessary when you care about someone. “You have friends, Dani,” I continue, looking down at her. She’s still staring at the pages of her book, but I know she’s listening. “I know I haven’t exactly acted like one the past year, but I’m your friend. And friends do stuff together, like go to the damn homecoming game.”
Feeling exasperated, I swing the strap of my bag onto my shoulder and am about to march off when I remember something. I drop my eyes back to Dani, studying her intensely while I recall the photograph of her parents in Jaden’s room. “By the way, I didn’t notice it before, but with your dark hair you look just like your mom,” I say gently, and with that, I turn and walk away.
“Kenzie,” Dani says after a few steps. I pause and turn back around, my lips pressed together into a thin line as she stares at me. “You really think so?”
“Yeah,” I say with a small shrug. I hope I haven’t upset her. “I saw a photo the other night in Jaden’s room.”
“It’s gone a little darker than hers,” Dani says quietly, glancing down at the ends of her hair as she runs her fingers through them. “I couldn’t find her shade, and I cut it too short, so it sort of backfired, but thanks.” Her eyes meet mine and remarkably, she gives me a sincere smile full of gratitude. I’m surprised by her words, because like everyone else, I assumed Dani’s drastic change in appearance was the result of emotional trauma. Only now do I realize that, actually, there was a reason behind it.
Still smiling, Dani tucks a loose strand of her dark hair behind her ear and pulls her book onto her lap, getting comfortable. Just before I turn to finally leave, she glances up one last time. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot before the game.”
15
The student parking lot is almost completely full by 6:30PM, so Will and I spend the greater part of ten minutes slowly rolling around the lot, navigating around the flow of people walking all over the place, until he finally finds a spot wide enough to squeeze his Jeep into. It’s as far away from the field as we could possibly get, but it’s homecoming, so it’s no surprise. Our school campus is always at its busiest during homecoming weekend, with cars filing into the lot one after another, with students chanting and yelling as they march proudly to the bleachers, with the smell of grease emanating from the food carts. It’s hectic and loud, but I love the buzz.
“So where exactly are we meeting Dani?” Will asks as he shuts his door behind him and locks the Jeep, walking around the front of the hood to meet me. He’d kill me if I said it out loud, but he looks super cute in his washed-out denim jeans and Converse, with his maroon Windsor Wizards T-shirt to match. Homecoming is the only time he wears it.
“Over at the entrance,” I say. Yesterday, Dani agreed to meet us here in the parking lot at around 6:30PM, and when I told Will that she would be joining us, he was pretty happy about it. I’m just glad she decided to come after all, because the atmosphere alone is totally worth coming out for.
Side by side, Will and I make our way across the lot, dodging cars and following the flow of students toward the football field. Everyone tends to make an effort for the homecoming game, so everyone is decked out in their Wizards merchandise. I’m wearing my usual hoodie, because the temperature is dropping fast tonight and I like to keep my hands warm in the front pouch while Will freezes to death. There are a lot of young freshmen milling around too, excited for their first homecoming experience, grinning widely and walking in small packs. It’s one of the best weekends of the year.
We continue to navigate our way through the cars and the people for a minute or so until we reach the entrance to the field, where the parking lot narrows off to lead to the bleachers. Students are spilling through, eager to snatch themselves a good spot, but I grab Will’s arm and pull him to one side so that we can find Dani. I don’t immediately spot her, so I tilt myself up onto my tiptoes to get a better view as I scour the area. When I still don’t see her, I begin to panic that perhaps she’s bailed on us at the last second.
“Where is she?” Will asks, but as soon as he says it, someone taps me on the shoulder.
Dani is behind us, with a small, nervous smile playing at her lips. Although she looks uncomfortable, she doesn’t look as sad and fearful as she usually does, so I consider this an improvement. “I’m here,” she states. There’s a sense of pride in her voice as she announces this, like it took her a whole lot of courage to come. Her short hair is curled slightly at the ends rather than straightened for once, and she’s wearing more makeup than usual. She looks amazing. Not only that, but she’s also wearing a maroon Wizards sweatshirt, though it’s too big for her, so it reaches her thighs and the sleeves cover her hands.
“Look at you!” I say. I’m so glad she’s turned up and she’s getting involved. I really didn’t expect her to. “Supportive and all!”
“I know,” she groans, glancing down at the baggy sweatshirt with a sheepish laugh. She tries to push the sleeves up her arms, but they immediately fall back down again, so she gives up. “I stole it from Jaden’s room, because my T-shirt from sophomore year doesn’t exactly fit anymore.”
“The oversized sweater look is totally in season, so you look great,” Will comments, and when I glance sideways at him, I can tell he isn’t saying it just to be nice, he’s saying it because he means it. When I look back across at Dani, she is blushing and, for once, she doesn’t hold back her smile.
“C’mon then,” I say, taking a step backward toward the field. “Let’s go!”
The three of us head for the bleachers, with me leading the way as Will and Dani flank me. It’s still light out although it’s growing dull, but the field is alive with activity as the marching band and color guard perform. Drums and trumpets ring in my ears as I try to scan the bleachers for a free spot, but with so many people milling around and so many things going on at once, including the cheerleaders prancing around, it’s virtually impossible.
“Kenzie!” someone yells, and the three of us glance up into the bleachers. I can’t seem to figure out who called my name until Jess rises from a couple rows back, flailing her arms around to grab my attention. “Up here!” she yells down at us over the sound of all the other noise. “We have space!”
She’s sittin
g with Kailee and their boyfriends, Tanner and Anthony, and even Tanner lifts his hand to motion for us to join them, so I head for the steps with Will and Dani still trailing behind me. I’m not sure how comfortable Dani will be sitting with Jess and Kailee, but I know that a year ago she wouldn’t have minded, so I don’t give it a second thought. If the Hunters want normal, then this is it.
“Hey, guys!” I say once we reach them after side-stepping our way along the fourth row and stomping on half a dozen people’s feet. Both Jess and Kailee stand up, but although they’re smiling to greet us, I can also see the questioning looks they keep trying to send me. I know exactly what they’re wondering, but I decide that I really don’t even need to explain why Dani is here, because I can’t see why it matters. She’s here for the same reasons the rest of us are, and I don’t feel as though any further explanation is necessary.
Jess leans forward and pulls me into a tight hug, but she buries her face into my hair and murmurs, “You brought her to the game?” into my ear, impressed, as though I’m some sort of miracle worker. I nod back against her and then we quickly separate again as Tanner and Anthony scoot over a little on the bench to make room for the three of us. There’s a series of mumbled “hey”s as we all try to arrange ourselves, until eventually we have the three guys on the left and us girls on the right. I have Will on one side of me, talking casually with Tanner and Anthony, and then I have Dani on the other, silent as ever, staring at the bottom of her sleeves as we all get settled in.
“Are you guys going to Cane’s again tonight?” Kailee asks, leaning forward to look at me as she tucks her blond hair behind her ears, revealing an entire collection of studded earrings. “It’ll be packed.”
I shake my head. Will, Holden and I have already decided to give Cane’s a miss tonight. I think Holden’s afraid I’ll invite the Hunters along with us again, and I’m afraid Darren will be there to terrorize me. “Not tonight,” I answer, then I jokingly add, “We’ll decide what we’re doing after the game once we determine what kind of mood Holden’s in.”
We share a laugh and Jess says, “Oh, please. They’ve got this game in the bag!” She edges forward to look at Dani, and with a warm smile, she asks, “Are you here to support your brother?”
Dani glances up from her hands and is silent for a moment as she stares back at Jess, as though she’s trying to figure out if she’s being patronizing or not, and when she realizes that Jess is only being friendly and making conversation, she smiles back. “Sort of,” Dani says with a small shrug. “I didn’t want to miss out on the homecoming game. I’ve missed too much already.” She quickly glances at me and her glossy lips curve into a teasing smirk before her gaze shifts back to Jess. “That and the fact that Kenzie didn’t exactly give me a choice.”
“God, Kenzie,” Jess says with mock disbelief, shaking her head in disapproval. “You bullied the girl into coming? And all this time, I thought you were nice.”
I roll my eyes as we all laugh together again. Although a little uncomfortable at first, Dani is easing up and joining in. The simplicity of the situation seems to be enough for her, and I’m so glad Jess and Kailee are being themselves and treating her like any other girl.
There are at least a thousand people here, and although it’s homecoming, there’s nothing too spectacular about the game itself other than the fact that more people turn up than usual. Everything else is pretty much just the same as any other game, so it’s not too exciting, apart from the half-time break, when the homecoming royalty are announced. Right now, however, it’s pretty standard as the team gathers behind their huge banner, pumping themselves up for what feels like forever, before finally crashing through the paper, tearing it apart and running out onto the field to a chorus of cheering, whistling and applauding. We rise to our feet in sync with everyone else, and even Dani is on her feet clapping her hands.
Just like with every game, I begin searching for Holden. My eyes roam the field in search of the jersey bearing number nineteen, until finally I spot him huddled around the coach. His helmet is already on, so I can’t see his face, but I have a feeling he’s pretty stressed out right now. After another loss last week, it would be a complete tragedy if the team lost the homecoming game, so he’ll be feeling the pressure.
I switch my attention to Jaden, and standing down on the sideline with his helmet tucked under his arm, chin tilted up, eyes scanning the bleachers, he’s fairly easy to spot. I know he’s looking for me. He told me so himself, and exactly like last week, he scours each row until his gaze finally meets mine. As soon as our eyes lock, his face lights up with the widest of grins. There are butterflies in my stomach as we wave at each other across the field. He mouths something, but it’s impossible to read his lips, and then his eyes widen in surprise when he seems to notice Dani by my side. He points a finger at her, and she laughs and throws him a thumbs-up back. He seems so pleased to see us both here, and with his grin still plastered upon his face, he turns around and walks back over to join the rest of the team, throwing glances over his shoulder at us. I don’t even care about the game anymore, I just want to see Jaden as soon as it’s over.
“Did you tell him you were coming?” I ask Dani, turning to look at her. He seemed surprised to see her.
“Yeah,” she says with a small laugh, and then adds, “but not that I was coming with you.”
16
Windsor wins the homecoming game. After a lousy first half with no points up on the board, they turned it around in the second half with four touchdowns, including one made by Holden, to seize the win they so desperately needed. The bleachers went wild. Everyone was on their feet, cheering so loudly you could feel the stand rumbling as the Windsor players celebrated down on the field. The look of pure relief on Holden’s face was priceless. He played great, and so did Jaden.
“God, it’s so cold,” Will murmurs through chattering teeth as he hugs his arms to his chest. It’s dark and extremely windy, with the temperatures continuing to plummet as the night wears on, and he’s shivering in his T-shirt as we wait around for Holden and Jaden.
It’s nearing 10PM and the parking lot is emptying out. Most of the crowd has already left, but there are still a few groups of people lingering around, waiting for friends. Will, Dani and I have been waiting for what feels like forever, pacing in circles to pass the time. Will is freezing to death out here, so I step in front of him, pressing my body against his and wrapping my arms around his back in an attempt to radiate some warmth. He immediately shoves his hands into the front pouch of my hoodie.
“Tonight wasn’t actually that bad,” Dani muses. She’s sitting on the ground, hugging her legs and wrapped up warm in Jaden’s huge sweatshirt. She’s staring at the ground, tracing patterns on the concrete with her middle finger. She pauses and glances up. “Thanks, Kenzie. I’m going to try and come to every game for the rest of the season.”
“Really? That’s awesome.”
Right then, someone lets out a long, low whistle, and when I crane my neck, I see Holden confidently striding toward us. Unlike the past couple of weeks, he’s smiling for once, even though his expression is more smug than anything else. I love when Holden’s in a good mood, and after his touchdown tonight, I think he’ll be happy and content for the rest of the week.
“Don’t tell me that touchdown wasn’t incredible, because it was,” he boasts, fueling his ego as he runs a newly busted hand through his hair. “That Greeley West kid had no chance of catching up to me!”
Rolling my eyes, I step back from Will and turn around, rushing over and pulling Holden into a hug. “Well done!” I say, and he briefly hugs me back, although not as tightly. Cocky Holden is much, much better than grouchy Holden.
“You did alright,” Will says with a shrug. Holden steps around me and fixes him with a menacing glower until Will cracks into laughter and tells him, “You played great, man.”
“Thanks,” Holden says, and in effort to get back at him, he condescendingly pats Will on th
e head. “I know I did.” Sliding the strap of his gym bag further up his shoulder, he stuffs a hand into the pocket of his shorts and asks, “So what’s the plan?” But before either of us can reply, he finally spots Dani, who’s still sitting on the ground a few feet away and watching us carefully. He blurts out, “Dani? What are you doing here?”
“Kenzie invited me to the game with her,” Dani answers. She pushes herself up from the ground and straightens up in front of us, and the wind blows her dark hair across her face.
Holden immediately twists his neck to look at me, his eyes wide as though he can’t believe I have invited Dani out again. I can understand why he looks so confused, given that I was the one who asked him and Will to stay clear of the Hunters, and he looks down at the ground, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
Luckily, I don’t have to explain myself again like last Friday night, because behind me, I hear Jaden’s voice call out, “Hey!” and Dani quickly runs past me, most likely desperate to get away from Holden, who’s mumbling, “Him too?”
I decide to ignore Holden completely, because his reaction is unwarranted. Somehow he has managed to dampen the mood within the space of four seconds, just from the look he has given me. I force my smile back onto my face as I turn around to look at Jaden instead. To no one’s surprise, he’s dressed in black jeans again and a maroon Windsor Wizards hoodie, the exact same one as mine. His attention is all on Dani as she quickly approaches him, congratulating him on the team’s win, and it’s so adorable how pleased he is to see her. That’s two weeks in a row now that she’s come along to the game.
“Isn’t this mine?” he asks suspiciously, grabbing a fistful of the sweatshirt she’s wearing. Dani just shrugs, and he jokingly shakes his head at her while letting go of the fabric. That’s when he finally glances over Dani’s shoulder, settling his bright eyes on me. “Not gonna lie,” he says, motioning between Dani and me, “I really didn’t expect to see you two together.”