Razing Grace: Razing Grace Part 1

  “Right, so it’s just this state?” she asks, eyes not showing any sign of fear.

  “No, Millie, that’s just the drag races. I’m the National kingpin of the underground. In the United States, I own the underworld.”

  Her mouth drops open before snapping shut. “You and what army?”

  I grin, pulling into McDonald’s. “That’s something I can’t share with you, pet.”

  Pulling into the drive-thru, I order her fifty fucking nuggets with sweet and sour sauce before pulling back onto the strip. We make our way down the gravel road I know so well. Millie ruffles around in the bag, popping a nugget into her mouth.

  “I’m eating chicken nuggets in a… what? Hundred-thousand-dollar car?”

  “Ahhh,” I scratch the back of my head. “Yeah, might want to quadruple that. It’s fine. This car was for appearances only, same with everything I own.” I pull down the gravel road. This was the spot I used to park at when I was getting groomed for the position. The dirty gravel leads to a dead end which overlooks the entire bright lights of Las Vegas. Not many people know about it, or at least every time I’ve been here no one else has been here.

  “Whoa, what? Like four hundred large?”

  I pull up to the end of the strip. “Yeah, it’s nothing.” Pushing open the door, I nudge my head. “Come on, nugget.”

  She turns to the front and smiles. “Wow, it’s incredible here.” Leaving the door open and the radio on, I come around the car. She follows, leaving her door open and standing beside me. Handing me the bag, she walks toward the edge and looks out. “It’s really, really beautiful here.”

  I take out a nugget and throw it into my mouth. “Millie,” I begin. “Now’s the time to ask those questions. I’ll tell you what I can and be completely honest with you, but it’s going to go question-for-question, and if you lie to me, that’s going in the literal spank bank.”

  She spins around, her tight yellow sundress hugging her petite curves, her blonde hair washing over her shoulders. She’s by far the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Her almond blue eyes and swollen lips that sit on a perfect face, the girl is fucking stunning. Her innocence used to be her weapon against me, bringing my darkness to its knees, but now? Now everything about her disarms me in such a way it makes me want to bleed all over her just to say she’s mine. The feral side of me—which if I’m being honest, is all of me when it comes to her—wants to drive her fucking crazy. I want to possess her in a way that others would think is sick.

  “Spank bank?” Her eyes light up. “Okay, Mr. Mysterious.” She steps towards me, snatching the bag of nuggets back.

  I chuckle, dropping one in my mouth. “Shoot.”

  The sun is setting, the natural light of the city about to be overrun by the shimmering hue of the sunset. I turn towards her and smile.

  “Okay,” she begins as “Down in Flames” by Daughter Jack starts playing from the radio inside the car. “First question.” She bites into a nugget. “Why do you have Ella and Cassia? Aside from obvious reasons, of course.”

  I laugh. I can’t help it. Out of all the possible questions, she decides to ask me about the girls? That confirms one theory: she was, indeed, a little jealous.

  “Why are you laughing at me?”

  I shrug. “No reason. I can’t really answer about Ella. It’s complicated, to say the least. But she has multiple purposes.” I pause and watch her reaction. Nothing, nada. The girl is switched off and blank. Oh, to be a thought dancing around in that brain right now. “She’s basically someone to keep Cassia off me as much as possible. Don’t get me wrong,” I add. “Cassia is ruthless in bed, but she’s not here to keep my dick wet. Just know that that’s all I can give you right now.”

  She ponders on my answer. I can see the wheels in her brain spinning. Then she smiles and shrugs. “I can deal with that.”

  “My turn.” I snatch the bag of nuggets from her. “Do you miss being a nun?”

  “Wow, just going to dive right in there, aren’t you?” She giggles lightly before looking out to the city. “Um, no. Though, I’m not a nun, nor do I practice the Catholic faith anymore. I’m still a strong believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’, so I think whatever it is that’s going on, which I have no idea…” She shakes her head, her eyes dropping to the ground. “Whatever it is, it’s supposed to happen.”

  “Eye-opening,” I mock her.

  She shoves me in the arm. “Hey! Be nice!”

  I laugh, handing her the nuggets.

  “Okay, my turn.” She leans against the hood of the car. “Are you going to let me go?”

  “No,” I answer quickly. Her eyes snap to me, meeting my already smirking face. “I’m joking.” Her face falls into a smile. “Yes, I will. In good time.”

  “Okay, your turn.”

  My arm reaches out to her and I snake it around her tiny waist, pulling her under my arm. Bringing my lips to her head, I ask, “Do you really find Miles that attractive?”

  She laughs, keeping her eyes locked on the scenery. “Yes, he’s hot.” My arm tenses around her and she sighs. “But not as much as I make it out to be.” I loosen. “I’ve found myself attached to him in a sense, though. The man is crazy, which brings me to my next question: What does Miles do?”

  I chuckle. “What do you think he does?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t work it out. He reminds me of a modern day Jekyll & Hyde.”

  She couldn’t have been more accurate. “You could say that. Miles is my right hand man. He’d gut someone from the inside out without so much as dropping a smudge of blood on his glasses or his thousand-dollar suit.” I grin, looking out to the city—my city. “He’s the only person I trust completely.”

  “Do I sense a romance here? Romeo & Roberto?”

  I look down at her, her fits of laughter eating up the silence of the night. I think about interrupting her to correct her, but her laughter is too cute to stop, even if it is at the expense of me.

  She continues laughing. “‘For never was a story of more woe, than this of Romeo and his Roberto.’”

  I laugh out loud at that revised quote from Romeo & Juliet. Turning her body towards me, I pull her into my chest and swipe away some of the loose strands of her hair. “That’s going in the spank bank.”

  “What? Why?” She laughs again, her palm pressing against my chest so she can tilt her head up to look at me.

  “Don’t act like you don’t like it.” I bend down and run my lips over her ear. “I can still feel how wet you were for me after I made your ass red.”

  She smiles against my cheek. “Maybe.”

  “For the record, though, I’m not into cock. I love pussy.”

  She smiles. “I get that. Does Miles have a boyfriend?”

  I relax my arms around her waist, my hands dropping down to her ass and she rests her head on my chest. “He has a situation, that’s what Miles has.”

  “What, like he has two boyfriends?” She chuckles, turning around in my arms so her back is to my front and we’re both looking out to the city.

  I laugh. “More like a boyfriend and a girlfriend.”

  “Sheesh. Should I feel weird that I slept with him? I mean, I feel nothing.”

  “No. You won’t feel anything—yet.”

  “Mile’s told me about that,” she whispers softly. “About how one day it’s all going to come rushing back to me and everything I ever did could swallow me alive.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know. Right now, I couldn’t care. I’m alone, anyway. My mind is an asylum filled with empty senses and loud, echoing screams. Senses I want to touch… I can see, they’re there, right on the tip of my fingers, but I don’t have enough push to fully grasp onto them.” She pauses. I stay quiet, wanting her to continue. “Like sex. Imagine you’re there, you want to come, you can feel how you’re about to come, but you can’t. It’s frustrating.”

  I smile, my palm sprawling out over her stomach. “Kind of like sex with Miles then, huh?”


  She laughs, shoving me and walking out of my embrace, instantly leaving an empty gust of wind in her departure. What. The. Fuck. That’s never happened before, but I’m not stupid; I know that a lot of feelings that have risen when it comes to Millie I have never felt before. I’m a selfish man. I take what I want, and right now, what I want is her.

  “Okay, another question: Does what you need me for have anything to do with The Devil’s?”

  “Yes,” I answer. “It has something to do with them, but things have to happen before that step happens, so you’re going to have to just trust me.”

  “Trusting you lost me my virginity.”

  I laugh, throwing my head back and walking back towards the car. “Get in the car, pet.”

  MILLIE

  I can almost smell money and ego as I sip on what I’m guessing is expensive champagne. It’s been one month since my and Raze’s question quiz at the lookout. We’ve been sleeping together almost every night and his relationship with the other girls is almost nonexistent. Tension between me and Cassia is at an all-time high and everyone is just waiting for her to snap. I won’t snap, because to snap you have to feel something and my brain is still in limbo, though being with Raze is slowly helping. There’s still a major part of me that hates him for what he put me through. And though I may also hate how he let everyone put their hands on me in the dungeon, there’s also a part of me, a part that’s growing every month, that is beginning to open up to him. There’s still a barrier there, and I don’t know how to get rid of it. It’s out of my control.

  “So you’re Raze’s third Playboy bunny?” a woman who has to be in her mid-forties dressed in an elegant white gown says.

  I laugh. “Hmm, do I look like I’m wearing bunny ears to you?” I cock my eyebrow.

  She smiles, placing her glass on the table. “Interesting. He hasn’t not had Cassia on his arm for an appearance in a long time.”

  I take a swig of my wine. “And he won’t be.” I smile, keeping my eyes locked on hers. I won’t cower down. I know a female pissing contest when I see one.

  A hand brushes against my lower back. “Hey, baby girl, can I have this dance?”

  I grin at the woman in the chair in front of me before getting to my feet and turning towards Miles. “Of course, darling.” I stretch my hand out to him dramatically and he takes it, pressing his soft lips onto my palm and pulling me towards him. “Excuse me,” I say to the woman who’s watching me and Miles closely before I let Miles take me to the dance floor.

  His hand wraps in mine and I scratch my nose from under my masquerade mask. “Miles, you look hot.”

  He smirks from under his mask. “Thanks, my puddin’. And you look as delicious as ever. Where’s our favorite alpha?”

  I think I look okay. I’m wearing a tight, strapless black sequin dress that clings to my every curve and hangs down to a train. My hair is swept to one side, hanging in natural waves over my shoulder, and my makeup is applied heavy on the eyes with smoke and nude matte on my lips. When Raze asked me to come to this event, I said no. And then I remembered that he will need to take someone and if I don’t go, it’d be Cassia, so I said I’d go. He still hasn’t told me why he keeps her around but I’m letting it go for now. The best thing about having no emotion is realizing that you can live with things that I would usually throw a tantrum over. This event has four of the most powerful men in the underground under one roof. Apparently every six months they attend a major charity event to maintain appearances.

  “I don’t know,” I answer, letting Miles’ fancy footwork take the lead. The Pierces’ “Secret” begins playing through the speakers and I find myself looking around for Raze. When the music changes to James Arthur’s “Impossible”, my eyes lock onto Raze, who already has his gaze following me. He’s talking with three other men who look to be fighting to gain his attention, but his focus is all on me. He lifts his drink to his lips around a sly smirk and then pats one of them on the arm and makes his way towards us.

  “Speaking of…” I say and Miles looks over his shoulder.

  “Knew it wouldn’t take him long. All anyone has to do is put their hands on you and he’ll be here in a flash.” Miles winks at me and I roll my eyes. “Bye, baby girl. See you at home.”

  Raze stops and takes my hand, pulling my body into his. “Almost wanna slaughter the entire male population that’s in here tonight. All eyes are on you.”

  His hands embrace mine and I raise my eyebrows at him with a smirk. “You dance?”

  Following his footwork, his other hand sprawls out over my tailbone as he pulls my body into his more. “Can’t say I like it, but yeah.” His hand drops and grips my left ass cheek.

  “Raze!” I laugh playfully.

  “What?” he asks innocently and I scoff as we finish the rest of the song. He pulls me off the dance floor, his hand firmly on my lower back, guiding me back towards the table. “Do you want to stay longer or leave?” he asks me just before we get to the table.

  “I think we should leave. I’m hungry.”

  “There’s food here!” he says with a smile, picking up my clutch and handing it to me.

  “Yes, but it tastes like shit.”

  “Nuggets?” he asks, taking my hand in his.

  I nod my head and smile. “Nuggets.”

  Raze guides me through the masses as we begin saying goodbye to various men in different suits and masquerade masks. Raze looks edible; just watching him makes me want to rip his clothes off on the dance floor. His crisp white shirt hangs off his body elegantly and his masquerade mask is black with silver ripples on the side, much like the mask he wears in the dungeon when he’s being the executioner. After we bid farewell, Raze pulls me under his arm and leads me out the massive glass doors that lead to the busy street of downtown Las Vegas. Raze hands the valet our ticket and then places his jacket over my shoulders.

  “Thanks.” I smile at him, ignoring how chiseled his jaw looks in contrast to the mask and the intricate tattoos that are laced around his neck. Raze is a man that does both. He has two sides: “000” the executioner, and Raze, the National kingpin of the underworld. I’m not sure which scares me most; they’re both equally terrifying. But he’s been something else entirely with me. Or at least, he has been for the past two months that I’ve been here.

  The valet pulls up and gets out of the Ferrari with a beaming smile on his face that could light up the dark desert. He whistles. “Damn, that’s a nice car, dude.”

  Raze smiles, taking the keys from the young guy, and I come around to the passenger seat. “Thanks,” he says before he slips in.

  Pulling out to the busy streets, we make our way onto the main highway on our way back to Raze’s mansion.

  Then he takes an unusual turn. “Where are we going?” I ask. He removes his mask, his hair fluffing up from him taking it off, then he pops his collar. “Raze?” Maybe this was all a front, luring me in, having me drop whatever barrier I had before he kills me. I had only just begun to care whether I lived or not. I wasn’t too hot on dying anymore. “Raze!” I snap at him. His fingers grip around the steering wheel. “Raze, let me out.”

  I can see the shadows on his face, the changing of his demeanor. His features darken as his jaw tenses. He pulls down a gravel private driveway and slides to the side of the road. I look around, not recognizing the area.

  He pulls up the emergency break and finally looks at me. “Come on.”

  “What?” I scoff. “No fricking way am I coming with you! You could have at least given me my last meal of nuggets before offing me in the middle of nowhere.”

  “What?” he huffs, his face changing into confusion. “Wait, you think I’ve brought you here to kill you?”

  “Well, jeez, I don’t know. Usually when an executioner brings you down a cold dead street, one begins thinking that she’s about to meet the reaper, so, yes.”

  He huffs again, pulling at his hair in frustration and surprise. “Millie, if I wanted you dead,
you would be dead. I thought you trusted me.”

  “Well, maybe I don’t when you go all… dark on me.”

  “Dark?” He repositions his body to face me. “I don’t ‘turn dark’, Millie. I am dark. I just turn light for you, and only you. Don’t ever mistake that.”

  “So you’re not going to kill me, then?” I whisper, my fingers twiddling together in my lap.

  “No, Millie. I won’t. I told you months ago that I wasn’t going to.”

  “Well, then,” I say, looking out in front of the car to the blank, dark farmland. “Where the hell are we?”

  He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Nudging his head, he pushes open the door. “Come on.”

  I get out of the car, the cold prickles of wind gushing over me. “Where are we?”

  He locks the car and walks to the front, taking my hand in his. “You’ll see.” My hand finds his as he leads me towards the little fence that lines the farm property. Scooping his arm behind my knee, he picks me up and cradles my body near his chest. My head relaxes into his chest, the familiar scent of woodsy masculinity taking over my senses. Once he’s inside the fence, he presses his lips to my forehead. “You wanna walk or do you want me to carry you? You know, your heels and all that can’t be easy to walk in.”

  I tap his hand. “I’ll be fine. Put me down. I can walk.” He doesn’t respond. “Raze?” He places me down to my feet and the heels of my shoes instantly sink into the firm grass. “Shit.”

  Raze chuckles, turning his back to me. “Get on.”

  “What? On your back?”

  “Yes, pet, on my back. We don’t have all day. Get the fuck on.”

  And just when I thought he was being all sweet.

  “Alright, alright, bossy.” Hitching up my tight dress, I roll it up to sit just under my butt cheeks before gripping onto his massive shoulder blades and leaping onto his back. My ankles hook together around the front of him as my arms cuddle his neck.

  I squeal out a high-pitched laugh and Raze shakes his head with a chuckle. “You could not be more of a girl right now.”