Shame on Him

  I’m not ready for this feeling to be over. I want more. I need more. I need all of him right now.

  Grabbing onto his hips, I pull him closer to me.

  “I need you; I need you,” I chant against his lips.

  “Condoms are in the bedroom,” he whispers.

  Sliding one hand around his erection and clutching onto his ass with the other, I pull him against me. “I’m on the pill. Fuck the condoms.”

  Dallas groans as the tip of his penis slides into me. “Jesus Christ, woman. You’re going to be the death of me with that mouth.”

  I smile as he holds himself still, barely inside me. “Just shut up and fuck me already.”

  He cuts off my words with his mouth, pulls his hips back, and slams into me.

  The table legs scrape across the floor with the force of his movements. I wrap my arms and legs tightly around him as he takes me. With each rough thrust of his hips, I feel another orgasm building. I love the feel of his hands roughly clutching my ass and I know there will be bruises there tomorrow. I love how he isn’t gentle with me and nips at the side of my neck with his teeth. I love how perfectly our bodies fit together.

  As another orgasm rushes through me, I clutch Dallas, and he follows right behind me, shouting my name during his release. As we cling to each other and try to catch our breaths, it occurs to me just how many things I love about him. With all of the changes I’ve made in my life lately, the one thing I never expected to alter was my opinion on falling in love again.

  CHAPTER 17

  A few hours later, I’m lying in Dallas’s bed on my stomach with my arms tucked under my head after another round of amazing sex. I feel his fingers lightly tracing the words of the tattoo on the side of my ribs.

  “I take it back. You saying ‘fuck’ is pretty hot, but seeing this ink on your skin is hotter. What made you get this saying?”

  I turn my head on the pillow to face him. “You’ve met my parents. I think it’s pretty obvious why I got it.”

  He nods and reads the words out loud. “I will never give up. I will never look back. I will live my life.”

  Just hearing those words puts a smile on my face. Contrary to what I told my parents, I never told Steve Burdick to shove the partnership up his ass. I did, however, tell him I was taking a leave of absence. He wasn’t happy at all, but I couldn’t let that bother me. I wanted to be able to put my full efforts into this investigation and I couldn’t do that with my caseload.

  “I heard a song on the radio and I liked the words,” I explain to him.

  He leans down and places a kiss against my tattoo. “They’re good words. They fit you.”

  My cell phone rings on the bedside table and I lean over to grab it. Seeing that it’s Doug, I give Dallas a sheepish look and quickly answer.

  “Hey, what’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be on your honeymoon?”

  “We’re on our way to the airport right now, but I had to call you,” Doug answers. “Remember when I told you I’d ask around about Miles and whether or not he is a friend of Dorothy’s?”

  I laugh and shake my head. “Sure. But you know this could have waited until next week, right?”

  “Oh please! Gossip this juicy needs to be shared!” Doug tells me. “It seems our fellow alum was caught with a fellow. One of Gary’s friends from the restaurant was working a fund-raiser last year. He walked into the bathroom and found Miles on his knees with one of the other waitstaff.”

  To say I’m shocked is an understatement. Miles really is gay.

  I thank Doug and wish him well on his honeymoon before hanging up. Getting out of Dallas’s bed, I pull on my dress and explain to him about the phone call and about what Doug told me the night before about Richard.

  “We need to go back and talk to Stephanie again. Ask her if she knew anything about her husband being gay. That would definitely push any woman over the edge,” Dallas says with a laugh.

  I pause in putting on my shoes to stare at him angrily.

  “Did you really just say that?”

  He stops laughing and looks at me in confusion for a few seconds before the smile is wiped from his face. “Oh, fuck. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that the way it came out. Of course you wouldn’t do something like that. But she might.”

  His backpedaling does nothing to soothe my irritation.

  He quickly gets out of bed and reaches for his jeans, sliding them up his legs. “I want to see Stephanie again and gauge her reaction to the news.”

  And now I’m jealous. I hate this feeling! This is why I didn’t want to get involved with anyone ever again.

  “Of course, you want to see Stephanie again. Would you like me to leave you alone so you can take her out for another round of drinks?” I ask sarcastically.

  He finishes buttoning his pants and walks around the bed to me. “I didn’t sleep with Stephanie.”

  “I didn’t say you did,” I huff as I zip up my dress.

  He reaches out and helps me with the zipper. “You didn’t have to. I can see it all over your face.”

  “It’s none of my business if you did,” I tell him with a roll of my eyes.

  He puts his hands on my cheeks and turns my face to him. “What just happened here makes it your business.”

  His words make me want to melt. And take my dress back off, get into bed with him, and forget the outside world. But I can’t do that. I need to be strong and not get pulled under by a man like Dallas. He has the power to break me. I already trust him with my life; I’m not ready to trust him with my heart.

  “I need to go home and feed my cat. We can talk about this later,” I tell him, pulling away from his hands.

  “When did you get a cat?” he asks as he follows me to the door.

  “I probably shouldn’t tell you that right now. I may or may not have done something illegal to get her,” I admit.

  He laughs and holds the door open for me. “We’re okay here, right?”

  I stare up at him and put on a smile. “Yep, we’re fine. I’ll call you later and we can go talk to Stephanie.”

  Dallas kisses me one last time before I go. As I walk to the cab waiting in the driveway, I wonder if I made a mistake by forcing Dallas to work with me. I should have stuck to my guns and done it on my own. I like my independence. I like being able to come and go as I please. I finally get out from under my parents’ thumb and then I go right under the watchful eye of someone else.

  But Dallas is nothing like my parents; I know that now. He’s much worse. If whatever this is between us doesn’t work out, I’ll never survive telling him off and walking away. Maybe some distance to clear my head right now will do me some good. All of this is just moving too fast. A few weeks ago I couldn’t stand him. Now I’m getting jealous and hating the idea of being away from him. And how do I really know that he isn’t just doing all of this as a way to keep an eye on his investigation?

  After a quick change of clothes at my place, I go up to the office to start making calls. First, I call a few colleagues from my law firm who know Miles. I ask them if they have heard anything about his being gay. Most of them are shocked by my question and adamantly deny ever hearing any such rumor. However, a few of them say it was a definite possibility. My next few calls are to some acquaintances of Stephanie’s. I didn’t want to call any of her close friends for fear that it would get back to her. I call people who worked with her on charity events and a few random people whose names were given to me when I talked to the individuals who worked with her, like the woman who used to do her hair and the cleaning service she uses for her home. None of them have ever heard Stephanie say anything about Richard being gay. They do, however, tell me in great detail about the porn addiction Stephanie claimed he had.

  It’s dark out by the time I finish with all of my calls and type up my notes. I check my phone and see that I’ve missed five calls from Dallas. With a sigh, I slide my phone into my purse without calling him back.

  On the drive to my house, I c
all my mother to check on her. Since Doug’s wedding the other night, she’s called me no less than ten times to give me updates on her “new” life.

  “I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt, Lorelei. Isn’t that exciting?” she asks as I pull off of the exit on the highway.

  I laugh and shake my head. “That’s amazing. How’s Dad?”

  “I don’t know and I don’t care. He tried apologizing, and when I asked him what he was apologizing for, he had no idea. So I slammed the door in his face. I think I’m going to take a lover. Do people still call it that nowadays?” she asks.

  Am I really having this conversation with my mother right now?

  “Mom, I think you and Dad need to talk before you do anything too rash.”

  She ignores me. “How is Dallas? Did you tell him I was sorry for being so rude at dinner?”

  The last time she called me I was naked in bed with him. My thoughts cloud with the memory of his lips on my neck and his hands on my hips.

  I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “Yes, I told him. It’s fine.”

  “He’s a nice young man. And he’s very good-looking. You should sleep with him.”

  I choke on a laugh at the words coming out of her mouth.

  “Don’t laugh. I’m serious. I wish I had slept with more men before I married your father,” she tells me.

  “Okay, well, I’m hanging up now. I just got home. I’ll call you tomorrow,” I tell her as I pull into the driveway and shut off my car.

  “Don’t call before noon. I have an appointment with a tattoo artist.”

  I drop my keys and my phone almost slips from my hand as I get out of the car. “What?! Mom, are you serious?”

  “They looked so nice on Dallas. And you said you had one. I want to do something exciting too,” she tells me.

  “Oh, my God,” I mutter, as I grab my keys from the ground and make my way up to my door. “This is a little too much for me right now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Okay, sweetie. Wish me luck!”

  I end the call with a shake of my head. Unlocking the door, I push it open. Just as I start to turn around to close the door behind me, something slams into my shoulder, shoving me the rest of the way into the house.

  My keys, purse, and phone fly out of my hand and clatter to the floor as my body takes another hit, this one hard enough to make me lose my footing, and I slam against the ground. The wind is knocked out of me and I wheeze, trying to take in a lungful of air. Once the shock of what is happening wears off, I push and shove at the weight on top of me, pinning me to the ground. In the dark entryway of my house, I can just make out a face with a black ski mask. Fear and panic ripple through me as I twist and turn, trying to get out of the person’s grasp. I see a hand come up and before I can move my head out of the way, a fist slams into my cheek.

  I see stars for a few seconds and all of the self-defense training Kennedy taught me rushes through my mind. My elbow flies up and connects with the person’s eye and I hear a shocked gasp of pain. I take that opportunity to buck my hips and shove him off of me. When I’m free from the weight of the intruder’s body, I flip over onto my belly and stumble up to my feet. No sooner do I stand up than a hand clamps around both my ankles and yanks my feet backward, forcing me back onto the ground. I immediately flop onto my back and kick out as hard as I can. My foot connects against the person’s mouth and he falls back, his head smacking against the floor with a thunk.

  Scrambling backward on my butt, I quickly grab my purse and pull out the Taser. Flipping on the switch, I hear the Taser crackle to life as the voltage lights up the room.

  The masked figure doesn’t move for a few seconds as he contemplates his next move. Before I can say anything, the person jumps up and races out the front door.

  With a shaking hand, I grab my phone from the floor and dial.

  CHAPTER 18

  One of the officers brings me some ice wrapped in a towel from my kitchen and hands it to me.

  Ted sighs and gets up from his spot on the couch next to me. I look up at him as I press the towel of ice to my cheek. “So, just some random mugging. Are you sure there isn’t anything you’re leaving out?”

  Oh, there’s a whole bunch I’m leaving out, but I don’t want you to throw me in jail.

  I know sharing the information we have with the police would move the investigation forward, but if I do that, I’m not only putting myself in jeopardy, but Dallas as well. He went out on a limb by letting me help with this case. Even though my head and my heart are in knots right now, I’m not about to get him in trouble.

  “I’m sure. I heard that there have been some break-ins around here lately. I’m sure that’s what it was. Unfortunately for him, your sister taught me some wonderful self-defense moves,” I tell him.

  “And thank God for that. Are you sure you want to stay here tonight? There’s no shame in going somewhere else until we can get a bead on this guy,” Ted tells me.

  “I’m not going to be forced out of my home. I’m staying here,” I tell him adamantly.

  Besides, at this point, it could only be one of two people who did this. I made a lot of phone calls today about Stephanie and Miles. I’m guessing one of them found out about it.

  Ted sighs as he shoves his small notepad into the inside pocket of his suit coat. “Fine. But I’m stationing an officer in a patrol car outside for the rest of the night.”

  Before I can argue, I hear Dallas’s voice from the doorway. “That won’t be necessary. I’m going to stay here with her tonight.”

  Seeing him standing in my house, so large and looking more than a little ticked off, all of the adrenaline coursing through my body since the attack leaves me in a whoosh. I suddenly want nothing more than to run over to him and have him wrap his arms around me.

  Ted looks back and forth between us. “Lorelei, this okay with you?”

  I drop the hand holding the ice to my face and nod. Dallas’s eyes narrow when he sees the bruise that I’m sure is forming on my cheek. It feels like it’s on fire and the whole side of my face aches, so I’m sure it looks less than pleasant.

  “All right then; we’re done here. If you can think of anything else, give me a call. I’ll just need you to stop by the station some time tomorrow to sign the report once we get it typed up,” Ted tells me.

  Dallas doesn’t take his eyes off of me as Ted walks up to him and smacks him on the back before walking out the door. The other officer follows him, closing the door behind himself.

  I can hear the tick of the clock hanging on the wall above my head. In the quiet of my house with Dallas standing so far away and looking like he’s about ready to punch the wall, I finally lose the battle of trying to be strong. My eyes grow blurry with tears and I look away from Dallas as they fall.

  He’s next to me on the couch in an instant, wrapping me in his arms and pulling me against him. I sink into him and let myself cry. He runs the palm of his hand down the back of my head over and over as he rocks me slowly back and forth. When I’m all cried out, I pull away from him, wiping the tears off of my face and wincing when my fingers brush over the bruise on the side of my cheek. Dallas picks up the towel with ice in my hand and presses it gently against my cheek.

  “I’m going to kill whoever did this to you,” he mutters, brushing a strand of hair off the other side of my face.

  “I’m pretty sure I know who it is.”

  He pulls back to look at my eyes. “Does this have anything to do with why you wouldn’t return my calls all day?”

  I sigh, taking the towel out of his hand and holding it myself. “I’m sorry about that. I should have called you back. I just . . . I don’t know how to do this.”

  He looks at me in confusion. “How to do what?”

  “This! You and me. Whatever this is. I finally stood up to my parents and I’m doing something for me. I just went to my ex-husband’s wedding. I don’t know how to do all of that and deal with what’s going on with us at the same time.
”

  Dallas slides off of the couch and gets down on his knees in front of me, resting his hands on top of my thighs.

  “You don’t have to deal with anything involving us. I don’t know what this is either, but I’m not about to walk away from it.”

  The tears are back again, this time pouring out of me so quickly that I don’t even bother trying to swipe them away. Dallas reaches up and does it for me.

  “Other than the shiner on your face, are you hurt anywhere else?” he asks.

  I shrug and take a few deep breaths. “My shoulder and my hip are killing me from when he slammed me into the floor, but it’s probably just bruises.”

  A look of pure fury washes over Dallas’s face when I casually mention this and I quickly try to calm him. “Don’t worry; I got a few good hits in. He took an elbow to the eye and a kick to the face.”

  Just then, Snowball races into the room and right up to Dallas. I cringe, waiting for her to bare her teeth and hiss at him, but she just sniffs his jeans and then sits back on her hind legs.

  He reaches down and scratches her behind her ears. She purrs and rubs her face against his hand.

  “Are you kidding me? I rescued you from a life of loneliness and all you’ve done is hiss at me since I brought you home. You are such a hussy,” I tell her in annoyance. Of course she turns and hisses at me before going right back and rubbing herself all over Dallas.

  I kind of don’t blame her. If I weren’t in so much pain right now, I’d be doing the same thing.

  Dallas laughs and reaches down, scooping her up into his arms and holding her at arm’s length in front of him.

  “Why does this cat look familiar?” he asks.

  I wipe the irritated look off of my face and stare down at the towel in my lap, pretending I’m fascinated with the flower design.

  “Oh, my God. Did you take this cat from Covington’s house? Oh Jesus, that’s where you guys got the e-mails too, isn’t it?” he asks.

  “Hey, you were being a total jerk at the time. I had to do something to get the upper hand. And besides, it was Kennedy’s idea,” I tell him lamely.