Mr. Prohack

  II

  Mr. Prohack was extremely happy; and Sissie too, in so far as concernedthe chat with her father, was extremely happy. They adored each other,and they adored the awful woman laid low with a headache. Sissie's hatand cloak, which she had dropped carelessly on a chair, slipped to thefloor, the hat carried away by the cloak. Mr. Prohack rose and pickedthem up, took them out of the room, and returned.

  "So now you've straightened up, and you're pleased with yourself,"observed Sissie.

  "So now," said he. "Perhaps I may turn on my curiosity tap."

  "Don't," said Sissie. "I'm very gloomy. I'm very disappointed. I mightburst into tears at any moment.... Yes, I'm not joking."

  "Out with it."

  "Oh, it's nothing! It's only that I saw a chance of making some moneyand it hasn't come off."

  "But what do you want to make money for?"

  "I like that. Hasn't mother been telling me off and on all day thatsomething will have to be done?"

  "Done about what?"

  "About economy, naturally." Sissie spoke rather sharply.

  "But you don't mean your mother has spent the day in urging you to goforth and earn money!"

  "Of course she hasn't, father. How absurd you are! You know very wellmother would hate the idea of me earning money. Hate it! But I mean toearn some. Surely it's much better to bring more money in than to pinchand scrape. I loathe pinching and scraping."

  "It's a sound loathing."

  "And I thought I'd got hold of a scheme. But it's too big. I have fiftypounds odd of my own, but what use is fifty pounds when a hundred'sneeded? It's all off and I'm in the last stage of depression."

  She threw away the core of the second apple.

  "Is that port? I'll have some."

  "So that you're short of fifty pounds?" said Mr. Prohack, obedientlypouring out the port--but only half a glass. "Well, I might be able tolet you have fifty pounds myself, if you would deign to accept it."

  Sissie cried compassionately: "But you haven't got a cent, dad!"

  "Oh! Haven't I? Did your mother tell you that?"

  "Well, she didn't exactly say so."

  "I should hope not! And allow me to inform you, my girl, that inaccusing me of not having a cent you're being guilty of the worstpossible taste. Children should always assume that their fathers havemysterious stores of money, and that nothing is beyond their resources,and if they don't rise to every demand it's only because in theirinscrutable wisdom they deem it better not to. Or it may be from merecussedness."

  "Yes," said Sissie. "That's what I used to think when I was young. ButI've looked up your salary in _Whitaker's Almanac_."

  "It was very improper of you. However, nothing is secret in these days,and so I don't mind telling you that I've backed a winner to-day--notto-day, but some little time since--and I can if necessary and agreeablelet you have fifty pounds."

  Mr. Prohack as it were shook his crest in plenary contentment. He hadthe same sensation of creativeness as he had had a while earlier withhis son,--a godlike sensation. And he was delighted with his girl. Shewas so young and so old. And her efforts to play the woman of the worldwith him were so comic and so touching. Only two or three years sinceshe had been driving a motor-van in order to defeat the Germans. She hadreceived twenty-eight shillings a week for six days of from twelve tofourteen hours. She would leave the house at eight and come back ateight, nine, or ten. And on her return, pale enough, she would laugh andsay she had had her dinner and would go to bed. But she had not had herdinner. She was simply too tired and nervously exasperated to eat. Andshe would lie in bed and tremble and cry quietly from fatigue. She didnot know that her parents knew these details. The cook, her confidante,had told them, much later. And Mr. Prohack had decreed that Sissie mustnever know that they knew. She had stuck to the task during a wholewinter, skidding on glassy asphalt, slimy wood, and slithery stone-settsin the East End, and had met with but one accident, a minor affair. Theexperience seemed to have had no permanent effect on her, but it had hada permanent effect on her father's attitude towards her,--her mother hadalways strongly objected to what she called the "episode," had shownonly relief when it concluded, and had awarded no merit for it.

  "Can you definitely promise me fifty pounds, dad?" Sissie asked quietly.

  Mr. Prohack made no articulate answer. His reply was to take out hischeque-book and his fountain-pen and fill in a cheque to _Miss SissieProhack or order_. He saw no just reason for differentiating betweenthe sexes in his offspring. He had given a cheque to Charlie; he gaveone to Sissie.

  "Then you aren't absolutely stone-broke," said Sissie, smiling.

  "I should not so describe myself."

  "It's just like mother," she murmured, the smile fading.

  Mr. Prohack raised a sternly deprecating hand. "Enough."

  "But don't you want to know what I want the money for?" Sissie demanded.

  "No!... Ha-ha!"

  "Then I shall tell you. The fact is I must tell you."

  * * * * *

  III

  "I've decided to teach dancing," said Sissie, beginning again nervously,as her father kept a notable silence.

  "I thought you weren't so very keen on dancing."

  "I'm not; but perhaps that's because I don't care much for the newfashion of dancing a whole evening with the same man. Still the point isthat I'm a very fine dancer. Even Charlie will tell you that."

  "But I thought that all the principal streets in London were full ofdancing academies at the present time, chiefly for the instruction ofaged gentlemen."

  "I don't know anything about that," Sissie replied seriously. "What I doknow is that now I can find a hundred pounds, I have a ripping chance oftaking over a studio--at least part of one; and it's got quite a bigconnection already,--in fact pupils are being turned away."

  "And this is all you can think of!" protested Mr. Prohack withmelancholy. "We are living on the edge of a volcano--the country is, Imean--and your share in the country's work is to teach the citizens todance!"

  "Well," said Sissie. "They'll dance anyhow, and so they may as welllearn to dance properly. And what else can I do? Have you had me taughtto do anything else? You and mother have brought me up to be perfectlyuseless except as the wife of a rich man. That's what you've done, andyou can't deny it."

  "Once," said Mr. Prohack. "You very nobly drove a van."

  "Yes, I did. But no thanks to you and mother. Why, I had even to learnto drive in secret, lest you should stop me! And I can tell you onething--if I was to start driving a van now I should probably get mobbedin the streets. All the men have a horrid grudge against us girls whodid their work in the war. If we want to get a job in these days wejolly well have to conceal the fact that we were in the W.A.A.C. or inanything at all during the war. They won't look at us if they find outthat. Our reward! However, I don't want to drive a van. I want to teachdancing. It's not so dirty and it pays better. And if people feel likedancing, why shouldn't they dance? Come now, dad, be reasonable."

  "That's asking a lot from any human being, and especially from aparent."

  "Well, have you got any argument against what I say?"

  "I prefer not to argue."

  "That's because you can't."

  "It is. It is. But what is this wonderful chance you've got?"

  "It's that studio where Charlie and I went last night, at Putney."

  "At _Putney_?"

  "Well, why not Putney? They have a gala night every other week, youknow. It belongs to Viola Ridle. Viola's going to get married and livein Edinburgh, and she's selling it. And Eliza asked me if I'd join herin taking it over. Eliza telephoned me about it to-night, and so Irushed across the Park to see her. But Viola's asking a hundred poundspremium and a hundred for the fittings, and very cheap it is too. Infact Viola's a fool, _I_ think, but then she's fond of Eliza."

  "Now, Eliza? Is that Eliza Brating, or am I getting mixed up?"

  "Yes, it's Eliza Brating."


  "Ah!"

  "You needn't be so stuffy, dad, because her father's only asecond-division clerk at the Treasury."

  "Oh, I'm not. It was only this morning that I was saying to Mr. Hunterthat we must always remember that second-division clerks are also God'screatures."

  "Father, you're disgusting."

  "Don't say that, my child. At my age one needs encouragement, not abuse.And I'm glad to be able to tell you that there is no longer anynecessity either for you to earn money or to pinch and scrape.Satisfactory arrangements have been made...."

  "Really? Well, that's splendid. But of course it won't make anydifference to me. There may be no necessity so far as you're concerned.But there's my inward necessity. I've got to be independent. It wouldn'tmake any difference if you had an income of ten thousand a year."

  Mr. Prohack blenched guiltily.

  "Er--er--what was I going to say? Oh, yes,--where's this Eliza of yoursgot her hundred pounds from?"

  "I don't know. It's no business of mine."

  "But do you insist--shall you--insist on introductions from yourpupils?"

  "Father, how you do chop about! No, naturally we shan't insist onintroductions."

  "Then any man can come for lessons?"

  "Certainly. Provided he wears evening-dress on gala nights, and pays thefees and behaves properly. Viola says some of them prefer afternoonlessons because they haven't got any evening-dress."

  "If I were you I shouldn't rush at it," said Mr. Prohack.

  "But we must rush at it--or lose it. And I've no intention of losing it.Viola has to make her arrangements at once."

  "I wonder what your mother will say when you ask her."

  "I shan't ask her. I shall tell her. Nobody can decide this thing forme. I have to decide it for myself, and I've decided it. As for whatmother says--" Sissie frowned and then smiled, "that's your affair."

  "My affair!" Mr. Prohack exclaimed in real alarm. "What on earth do youmean?"

  "Well, you and she are so thick together. You're got to live with her. Ihaven't got to live with her."

  "I ask you, what on earth _do_ you mean?"

  "But surely you've understood, father, that I shall have to live at thestudio. Somebody has to be on the spot, and there are two bedrooms. Butof course you'll be able to put all that right with mother, dad. You'lldo it for your own sake; but a bit for mine, too." She gigglednervously, ran round the table and kissed her parent. "I'm frightfullyobliged for the fifty pounds," she said. "You and the mater will befearfully happy together soon if Charlie doesn't come back. Ta-ta! Imust be off now."

  "Where?"

  "To Eliza's of course. We shall probably go straight down to Putneytogether and see Viola and fix everything up. I know Viola's had atleast one other good offer. I may sleep at the studio. If not, atEliza's. Anyhow it will be too late for me to come back here."

  "I absolutely forbid you to go off like this."

  "Yes, do, father. You forbid for all you're worth if it gives you anypleasure. But it won't be much use unless you can carry me upstairs andlock me in my room. Oh! Father, you are a great pretender. You knowperfectly well you're delighted with me."

  "Indeed I'm not! I suppose you'll have the decency to see your motherbefore you go?"

  "What! And wake her! You said she wasn't to be disturbed 'on anyaccount.'"

  "I deny that I said 'on any account.'"

  "I shouldn't dream of disturbing her. And you'll tell her so much betterthan I could. You can do what you like with her."