Mr. Prohack

  CHAPTER XIV

  END OF AN IDLE DAY

  I

  It is remarkable that even in the most fashionable shoppingthoroughfares certain shops remain brilliantly open, exposingplush-cushioned wares under a glare of electricity in the otherwisedarkened street, for an hour or so after all neighbouring establishmentshave drawn down their blinds and put up their shutters. An interestingpoint of psychology is involved in this phenomenon.

  On his way home from the paradise of the mosque, Mr. Prohack, afoot andhigh-spirited, and energised by a long-forgotten sensation of physicalwell-being, called in at such a shop, and, with the minimum of parley,bought an article enclosed in a rich case. A swift and happy impulse onhis part! The object was destined for his wife, and his intention ingiving it was to help him to introduce more easily to her notice thefact that he was now, or would shortly be, worth over quarter of amillion of money. For he was a strange, silly fellow, and just as he hadbeen conscious of a certain false shame at inheriting a hundred thousandpounds, so now he was conscious of a certain false shame at havingincreased his possessions to two hundred and fifty thousand pounds.

  The Eagle was waiting in front of Mr. Prohack's door; he wondered whatmight be the latest evening project of his women, for he had not orderedthe car so early; perhaps the first night had been postponed; however,he was too discreet, or too dignified, to make any enquiry from thechauffeur; too indifferent to the projects of his beloved women. Hewould be quite content to sit at home by himself, reflecting upon themarvels of existence and searching among them for his soul.

  Within the house, servants were rushing about in an atmosphere ofexcitement and bell-ringing. He divined that his wife and daughter weredressing simultaneously for an important occasion--either the firstnight or something else. In that feverish environment he forgot theform of words which he had carefully prepared for the breaking to hiswife of the great financial news. Fortunately she gave him no chance toblunder.

  "Oh, Arthur, Arthur!" she cried, sweetly reproachful, as with an assumedjauntiness he entered the bedroom. "How late you are! I expected youback an hour ago at least. Your things are laid out in the boudoir. Youhaven't got a moment to spare. We're late as it is." She was by no meansdressed, and the bedroom looked as if it had been put to the sack;nearly every drawer was ajar, and the two beds resembled a second-handshop.

  Mr. Prohack's self-protective instinct at once converted him into aporcupine. An attempt was being made to force him into a hurry, and heloathed hurry.

  "I'm not late," said he, "because I didn't say when I should return. Itwon't take me more than a quarter of an hour to eat, and we've got heapsof time for the theatre."

  "I'm giving a little dinner in the Grand Babylon restaurant," said Eve,"and of course we must be there first. Sissie's arranged it for me onthe 'phone. It'll be much more amusing than dining here, and it savesthe servants." Yet the woman had recently begun to assert that theservants hadn't enough to do!

  "Ah!" said Mr. Prohack, startled. "And who are the guests?"

  "Oh! Nobody! Only us and Charlie, of course, and Oswald Morfey, andperhaps Lady Massulam. I've told Charlie to do the ordering."

  "I should have thought one meal per diem at the Grand Babylon would havebeen sufficient."

  "But this is in the _restaurant_, don't I tell you? Oh, dear! That'sthree times I've tried to do my hair. It's always the same when I wantit nice. Now do get along, Arthur!"

  "Strange!" said he with a sardonic blitheness. "Strange how it's alwaysmy fault when your hair goes wrong!" And to himself he said: "All right!All right! I just shan't inform you about that quarter of a million.You've no leisure for details to-night, my girl."

  And he went into the boudoir.

  His blissful serenity was too well established to be overthrown byanything short of a catastrophe. Nevertheless it did quiver slightlyunder the shock of Eve's new tactics in life. This was the woman who, ononly the previous night, had been inveighing against the ostentation ofher son's career at the Grand Babylon. Now she seemed determined torival him in showiness, to be the partner of his alleged vulgarity. Thatthe immature Sissie should suddenly drop the ideals of the new poor forthe ideals of the new rich was excusable. But Eve! But that modestembodiment of shy and quiet commonsense! She, who once had scorned theworld of _The Daily Picture_, was more and more disclosing a desire forthat world. And where now were her doubts about the righteousness ofCharlie's glittering deeds? And where was the ancient sagacity whichsurely should have prevented her from being deceived by thesuperficialities of an Oswald Morfey? Was she blindly helping to preparea disaster for her blind daughter? Was the explanation that she hadtasted of the fruit? The horrid thought crossed Mr. Prohack's mind: _Allwomen are alike._ He flung it out of his loyal mind, trying tosubstitute: All women except Eve are alike. But it came back in itsoriginal form.... Not that he cared, really. If Eve had transformedherself into a Cleopatra his ridiculous passion for her would havesuffered no modification.

  Lying around the boudoir were various rectangular parcels, addressed inflowing calligraphy to himself: the first harvest-loads of his busymorning. The sight of them struck his conscience. Was not he, too,following his wife on the path of the new rich? No! As ever he wasblameless. He was merely executing the prescription of his doctor, whohad expounded the necessity of scientific idleness and the curativeeffect of fine clothes on health. True, he knew himself to be cured, butif nature had chosen to cure him too quickly, that was not his fault....He heard his wife talking to Machin in the bedroom, and Machin talkingto his wife; and the servant's voice was as joyous and as worried as ifshe herself, and not Eve, were about to give a little dinner at theGrand Babylon. Queer! Queer! The phrase 'a quarter of a million' glintedand flashed in the circumambient air. But it was almost a meaninglessphrase. He was like a sort of super-savage and could not count beyond ahundred thousand. And, quite unphilosophical, he forgot that the ecstasyproduced by a hundred thousand had passed in a few days, and took forgranted that the ecstasy produced by two hundred and fifty thousandwould endure for ever.

  "Take that thing off, please," he commanded his wife when he returned tothe bedroom in full array. She was by no means complete, but she hadachieved some progress, and was trying the effect of her garnetnecklace.

  "But it's the best I've got," said she.

  "No, it isn't," he flatly contradicted her, and opened the case so newlypurchased.

  "Arthur!" she gasped, spellbound, entranced, enchanted.

  "That's my name."

  "Pearls! But--but--this must have cost thousands!"

  "And what if it did?" he enquired placidly, clasping the thing with muchdelicacy round her neck. His own pleasure was intense, and yet heseverely blamed himself. Indeed he called himself a criminal. Scarcelycould he meet her gaze when she put her hands on his shoulders, after along gazing into the mirror. And when she kissed him and said withfrenzy that he was a dear and a madman, he privately agreed with her.She ran to the door.

  "Where are you going?"

  "I must show Sissie."

  "Wait a moment, child. Do you know why I've bought that necklace?Because the affair with Spinner has come off." He then gave her thefigures.

  She observed, not unduly moved:

  "But I knew _that_ would be all right."

  "How did you know?"

  "Because you're so clever. You always get the best of everybody."

  He realised afresh that she was a highly disturbing woman. She utteredhighly disturbing verdicts without thought and without warning. Younever knew what she would say.

  "I think," he remarked, calmly pretending that she had said somethingquite obvious, "that it would be as well for us not to breathe one wordto anybody at all about this new windfall."

  She eagerly agreed.

  "But we must really begin to spend--I mean spend regularly."

  "Yes, of course," he admitted.

  "Otherwise it would be absurd, wouldn't it?"

  "Yes, of course."

 
"Arthur."

  "Yes."

  "How much will it be--in income?"

  "Well, I'm not going in for any more flutters. No! I've done absolutelywith all speculating idiocies. Providence has watched over us. I takethe hint. Therefore my investments will all have to be entirely safe andsound. No fancy rates of interest. I should say that by the time oldPaul's fixed up my investments we shall have a bit over four hundredpounds a week coming in--if that's any guide to you."

  "Arthur, isn't it _wicked_!"

  She examined afresh the necklace.

  By the time they were all three in the car, Mr. Prohack had becomeaware of the fact that in Sissie's view he ought to have bought twonecklaces while he was about it.

  Sissie's trunks were on the roof of the car. She had decided to take upresidence at the Grand Babylon that very night. The rapidity and theuncontrollability of events made Mr. Prohack feel dizzy.

  "I hope you've brought some money, darling," said his wife.