Static
Bay simply laid a hand on the bulge under her shirt. It hit him with the force of a sledge hammer. Baby. That’s not a ball, it’s a baby. His eyes jerked up to hers and it was all he needed to see. Immediately the memory of their encounter, the blast of heat that filled him and he knew.
Shaking his head he slowly backed away. “No.” This wasn’t possible, this wasn’t happening, Tuck couldn’t breathe, he had to get out, get away. He saw the acceptance in Bay’s eyes, saw her nod and give a small sad smile before turning away. She walked around him, headed back to her office, leaving him standing there gasping for air.
He stumbled for the back door, desperate to get outside. As soon as he did, he gulped in great breaths of air until he was nearly lightheaded. Slumping back against the side of the building, his mind a raging whirl of thoughts, denials and pure panic.
The memories rolled over him like a steamroller, leaving him no time to breathe. His mother, her own bulging belly, the brief span of happiness. The delicate pink baby with her little fluff of hair he had found so fascinating. So quickly it had changed. The fighting, the anger, the accusations, the baby’s fearful crying; it had all started again. He only wanted to comfort her, stop her crying, make her feel better. But his hands were too big, she was too small and the fighting this time was too violent.
He remembered seeing his mother in a pool of blood on the floor; his father standing over her, still raging at her. Tuck had to keep the baby quiet, couldn’t let daddy turn the anger onto her. He had done his best to keep her quiet. When she had been still for too long, no more wiggles, no more struggles, he hadn’t understood. When his father turned to him, never in his life had he felt such fear.
Suddenly a shadow fell over him bringing him back to the present. He looked up to find Flossie standing there, a harshly disapproving look on face. She put her hands on her ample hips and looked him up and down. “Well you just confirmed that suspicion. At least she didn’t pass out when she figured it out. Big man, you are.” The sneer and contempt in her voice surprised Tuck enough to cut through the fear.
“But... What...? Oh god.” Tuck was totally afraid that he really was going to pass out, right at Flossie’s feet.
The sudden heavy smack of Flossie’s huge purse up against Tuck’s shoulder nearly knocked him on his ass. “Get it together man. You’re an embarrassment to men everywhere. You’re wife is dying and another woman is having your baby.”
Tuck felt his stomach drop to the ground. “Oh sh-” Another slam of Flossie’s purse knocked Tuck a few steps to the side.
“Don’t you curse in front of me, Tucker Adams. I thought better of you. Thought you were a man of honor. Guess I was wrong.” Flossie sailed into the building leaving him speechless.
Tuck started slowly walking around the parking lot. His thoughts racing, he fought to calm down and think clearly. Taking long deep breaths, pacing and staring up at the early summer sky Tuck forced himself begin to settle. As long as he kept away the memory of how Bay’s baby was made, he found he could think. Those thoughts, though, of the heat and the frantic release, that had to be kept in the box. At least for now.
Bay was pregnant. With his child. The enormity of that alone was nearly more than he could handle. Never, ever, had he wanted a child but the lack and thought of protection had created one anyway. There was no denying it.
Clarice was dying. She needed him. She needed him strong and whole and able to handle her death. Forcing himself to think, he quickly considered the time frame. Bay was only about six months along. The doctors had said Clarice had only about a month.
Scrubbing his face with his hands, he turned to find Joby standing and watching him. It took only one look at his old friend’s face to see the disappointment, the near contempt. Tuck shook his head. How the hell had things gone so wrong, gotten so messed up?
Walking toward Joby, Tuck felt like the lowest scum of the earth. Facing his friend, he could only say, “I didn’t know.”
Joby paused before answering. “I figured. Wasn’t positive it was you until I saw you out here.” Anger started to chase away the disappointment from Joby’s face. “How could you do that to Clarice? That sweet woman. She’s sick and you go and -” Joby bit off his words and turned away.
Tuck had never seen him this angry, this upset. With a deep sigh he the words broke like a dam overflowing, “I know. I had just found out about her cancer. I was upset, freaked out. I was stupid. I took advantage of Bay. I needed comfort and she was there. But I can’t change it, no matter how much I might want to.”
The big man considered for a bit. “I guess. I can’t excuse it like that. It’s what you do now that makes a difference.”
A surprised laugh escaped from Tuck. “Do? What I do? Man, I’m so confused and freaked out right now I have no idea what to do.”
Joby smiled a little. “Good.” He jerked a thumb toward the building, “That little woman in there, she’s been amazing. She’s more man than damn near any man I ever known. You could learn a few things from her.” He slapped Tuck on the shoulder and headed inside to go to work.
When Bay came out a few minutes later, the sight of her pregnant belly was still a punch to his gut. Bracing himself against the shock, he approached her. “Look -”
Bay held out her hand and stopped him. “I didn’t tell you. I could have. But I made the decision not to because of Clarice’s illness. By the time I heard you were coming back, it was too late to try to contact you to give you a head’s up. If that was the wrong decision, then I’ll take full responsibility.”
Well, that took the wind out of his sails. Everything Tuck had just prepared to say scattered like leaves in the wind. He attempted to regroup. “Uh. Well. Right now, I really don’t know how I feel about it but that probably was a good decision. But I’m not sure. Um. I hate to ask but, does anyone know that I’m... you know.”
“The father?” Bay smiled gently. “I haven’t told a soul anything. Flossie, she figured it out… can’t get anything past that woman. I know there are rumors but everyone here has managed to keep them from me. So honestly, I have no idea what people really think.”
A small trickle of relief wormed its way through the panic and fear. The mental picture of all the chattering women he’d left with Clarice made him shudder to think of the rumors and stories she’d been told today. He’d have to decide and figure out how to tell her at some point and that left him shaky with a different kind of fear.
Tuck found himself staring at the round ball shape sticking out in front of Bay’s body. He had a child. There was a baby in there, his baby. Some sort of weird warmth tickled the back of his neck at the thought. “Do you need...anything?”
Bay tilted her head to the side and studied him a bit. “Nope. There is absolutely nothing you need to do other than take care of Clarice, okay?” Her voice was firm enough to draw his attention from her belly.
Frowning he started again, “But -”
Again she held up her hand cutting him off. “Nothing.” There was a snap in her black eyes to back up the terseness of the word. “Look, were you serious about the job?”
The fast change in subjects made him pause. “What? Oh the job. Yeah. I need a job.”
“Well, the pay won’t be what you were making, and I made an agreement with the school that whoever I hired would do some safety training there. Preparedness stuff. If you’re really interested then I’ll toss off the other applicants and give it to you.”
“You mean go into the school? Train the teachers? For what? What kind of safety?”
“As in, preparedness like for school intruders, kids that go nuts, that sort of thing.” Bay smiled. “You see, I’m going to be off work for a while in a few months. So whoever I hire will have to cover my shifts. That will happen this summer. Maybe by the time school starts up again this fall, I’ll be able to handle that part and the person I hire can cover shifts while I do.”
“You know, I could probably handle that better. I do remember you had
the training in that area. I’ve only read articles and stuff on it. Seemed like something we didn’t really need here.”
“Well, the school board feels differently. In fact, they really liked the idea. So, they actually sweetened the grant pot a little to have an officer that worked more closely with the school.”
Tuck frowned. “Oh.” When he was Sheriff it never occurred to him to worry about school shootings, intruders or anything like that. A little niggle of jealousy that maybe Bay was turning into a better Sheriff than he had been pricked at him.
“So, do you want the job or not?”
“Yeah. Yes. Uh we’ll work out the school stuff.” His attempt to be casual and not at all concerned with dealing with children didn’t escape notice.
Bay smiled and immediately the hairs on Tuck’s arms stood up and took notice. He silently cursed the weird electric connection between them. “I need to get home. Come in tomorrow morning and I’ll get you a bright, shiny, new badge. Oh and, there’s a special Council meeting just to swear in the new officer on Thursday so you don’t have to wait too long.” She