Seeker

  Jode frowns. “You hope they weren’t real?”

  “Bas was standing with Samrael, Jode. With him. I could be wrong, but Bas didn’t look like he was being coerced or under duress.”

  “You think we’ve lost him to Samrael,” Jode says.

  It sounds like a statement, and that bothers me. “I didn’t say that. All I’m saying is that it’s possible Samrael tried. You know that’s how they operate.” In the fall, the Kindred wanted to recruit me. Their leader thought I had potential. If Bas has been here with Samrael for the past eight months … Samrael could’ve tried to convert him, too. “If Samrael turned him, we have to be prepared to deal with it.”

  “Thoughts on how we’d ‘deal with it’?”

  “Working on it.”

  Jode lets out a long sigh. “Will nothing come easily in here?”

  “No. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. We’re out of food.”

  “No more trail mix? That I don’t mind.”

  * * *

  Half an hour later, we find Marcus and Daryn. Before we’ve even dismounted, Daryn asks about Shadow.

  “Did you find her? Where is she?”

  “We had some trouble on the lake,” Jode says. As he describes our ice-capade, I notice the look on Marcus’s face. He’s wearing the same expression he used to wear all the time when we hated each other. Like he wants to kick my ass. Very thoroughly.

  I interrupt Jode. “Marcus, what?”

  “Nothing.”

  I look at Daryn. “Why is he pissed at me?”

  “You attacked him,” she says. “In a haunting.”

  Haunting? I instantly know—she and Marcus went through their own trial. “I attacked him. I did?”

  “Yes. A dozen of you. Perfect look-alikes.”

  “A dozen Gideons?” Jode’s eyebrows shoot up. “The sarcasm must have been intolerable.”

  No one laughs. Marcus walks away, heading toward the lake.

  “Marcus,” I call to him. He doesn’t stop. “Marcus. Come on, man.”

  “Best to let him cool off,” Jode says, jogging after him.

  Anger builds inside me with nowhere to go. Why am I taking the blame for something I didn’t do? I just drowned. I just watched my horse drown. Why the hell am I being punished right now?

  The Rift.

  It’s messing with us. It’s taking us down without throwing a single punch.

  “How bad was it?”

  Daryn glances down, hesitating. “Pretty bad.”

  An image flashes through my mind. Me, beating the hell out of my best friend. Pummeling the best guy I know.

  “He knows it wasn’t real, Gideon. But it was hard to go through. It’ll take him some time to shake off.”

  I know she’s remembering seeing her mother on the roof of the yellow bungalow. I know it’ll take her some time to shake that off, too. Just like it’ll take me time to forget Riot disappearing into dark water. And Daryn, banging on Dad’s truck window. “You called it a haunting.”

  “It’s just something that … well, that you said.”

  “I said stuff? Daryn, what did I say to you? Did I hurt you, too? I did, didn’t I?”

  She steps in and wraps her arms around me, resting her head against my chest. “Let’s just hug this out.”

  “How about not now?” It’s not hug time.

  She lifts her head. “Okay, then let’s kiss it out.”

  That gets my attention. My entire body’s listening now. “What happens if I say no again? Does this game keep elevating? What’s after kissing?”

  “Are you going to say no again?”

  “Martin, when you say things like that, my brain powers down. It makes it impossible for me to…”

  The drumming sound of hoofbeats stops me. I scan the woods.

  Someone’s riding toward us on a black horse. On Shadow.

  Bas?

  Sebastian?

  I can’t believe what I’m seeing.

  “Bas?” Daryn says, whirling to face him. “Bas!”

  “Wait. It might not be him. He might not be alone.”

  “It’s him.”

  She’s smiling, buying in completely. Didn’t she just see a dozen fake versions of me? It can’t be him. After all this searching, there’s no way he just rides up.

  She breaks away from me and she’s gone, running to meet him.

  “Daryn—wait!” But she’s pure determination.

  My pulse rises to a shrill pitch in my ears. I brace myself for the ground to open up. For ice to form. For wind, Harrows, Samrael. Hauntings.

  Nothing changes.

  Bas—if it’s him—draws closer.

  As he closes in, he looks from me to Daryn. Going back and forth, like my mind is.

  Are you real?

  Or are you just another one of the Rift’s lies?

  CHAPTER 25

  DARYN

  I run to Bas, leaving Gideon behind me.

  Caution might be the wiser move. The Rift has fooled me before. But I’ll never forgive myself if I doubt Bas and it’s really him. If I’m wrong, I’d rather face the consequences. After all he’s been through, he needs us now.

  Our trust. Our support. Our belief in him.

  Sebastian stops Shadow and jumps to the ground. Tears brim in his brown eyes as he walks up, and I see an edge of pain that’s new, and sharp. Then he breaks into a dashing smile that’s so familiar, so precisely what I need to see, that before I know it, I’m laughing and launching myself at him. “We found you! I was so worried, Bas. We all were. So worried.”

  “You’re here.” He lifts me off my feet and spins me around. “I’ve been praying for this. I can’t believe you’re here.”

  “Of course we are. Didn’t you know we’d come?”

  He sets me down and looks into my eyes. “Aw, Daryn. Don’t cry or I will.”

  “I’m just so happy.”

  “Not as happy as I am.”

  We turn as Gideon walks over. Jode and Marcus are with him, just back from the lake. They’re wearing expressions that are surprisingly similar, like they’re expecting Bas to lay a knife across my throat.

  Bas’s smile fades. “What happened to them?”

  “This place did.” They’ve forgotten how to trust.

  “I understand that,” Bas says.

  I glance at him and see another shadow of pain flash across his face. He’s changed in obvious ways. There’s a maturity to his features, all traces of boyishness gone, and a new confidence in how he carries his substantial height. He has become, impossibly, more handsome. But he’s picked up a quality that’s less tangible. I can’t pinpoint it. But it saddens me.

  The guys stop a few feet away. They go still. Silent and watchful. Everyone is waiting for someone else to make a move.

  I can’t take it. “No offense, you guys, but this is the worst reunion ever.”

  “Exactly,” Bas says. “The top worst. This isn’t what I pictured at all.”

  Jode is the first to break rank. He laughs his hilarious cackle and pulls Bas into a hug, pounding him on the back as he utters the same nonsense I did moments ago.

  Marcus comes next. He wears the sweetest smile that’s ever been smiled in the Rift, I’m positive. “Bas. Bro…” They embrace, and by the time Bas steps back, he’s failing at holding back the tears.

  With only Gideon left, somehow the wary vibe returns. Gideon stands in silence, a look of suspicion on his face.

  Bas shakes his head. “G, dude. Not a funny joke.”

  I see Gideon’s grin for an instant before he explodes forward and flattens Bas to the ground.

  It immediately turns into a dog pile. A horseman pile. Loud and full of elbows and laughs and shoves. Irresistible. I burrow my way in, and I’m swallowed up. It’s blissful chaos. Intensely unifying. We’re a human fireworks show.

  All I can think is that we’re whole again.

  Complete.

  As we draw apart, everyone speaks at once and Bas doesn’t know where t
o look. He tries to answer four people’s questions, but no information is actually getting across. Gideon and Marcus give up and jump all over him again.

  I look for Shadow, wondering if she feels this—this profound satisfaction—and find her watching me.

  In her eyes, I see gratitude, solidarity, and love. I didn’t have the Sight steering me to this moment. I had a black horse that knew my pain, shared it, and stayed with me.

  “Right, then, you apes,” Jode says, his English sense of propriety pushed to its limit. “Can we have some order?” No one wants order. “Can we at least continue this in Nevada where there’s not a single one of these bloody trees, or Harrows?”

  That settles things down.

  “You’re right. Let’s get out of here,” Gideon says. His eyes shine, brilliant with happiness. “Bas, let’s get you home, man. What do you say?”

  Bas’s smile recedes. “No—not yet. I’m not ready yet.”

  It’s like someone has pressed pause. Everything stops.

  “Bas,” Gideon says. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m not ready.” He looks around with what I think might be distress. “I can’t explain it right now. I just need some time. I was here for so long. I need to get my head right before I leave.”

  His words dampen our festive mood. None of us has been through what he has. None of us can begin to understand what he’s feeling. He’s earned this request. Suffered for it. We can do this for him. So we agree.

  We set up camp for the night.

  It’s amazing, I think, as I gather branches and twigs for kindling. There have been so many surprises here in the Rift, but this is the biggest one yet.

  We found Bas.

  But we’re still here.

  * * *

  Before long, we’re gathered around the fire and sharing the food Bas produced from a leather bag. Two kinds of cheese, crusty brown bread, thick slabs of bacon, apples, and huge strawberries. After days of granola bars and trail mix, the sounds and facial expressions around the campfire almost embarrass me. Including my own.

  Rather than bombard Bas with questions like before, we let him share what he wants to, but talk seems secondary at the moment anyway. All we really want to do is witness the hereness of him, and appreciate the togetherness of now.

  “I was the same way in the beginning with food,” he says. “I wondered if I’d starve here. I got so hungry I thought about eating dirt. I had no idea it would get better, but there’s a farm where I’ve been living. We have fruit orchards, gardens, chickens, dairy cows, and enough livestock to…”

  Suddenly self-conscious, he picks up a stick and traces lines in the dirt, his hair falling across his eyes. Our actor, revealing too much truth too quickly. I listen to the fire, proud of the guys for being so patient and sensitive in letting this unfold.

  “So, you’re alive,” Gideon says, wrecking it. Done with subtlety.

  Bas looks up and laughs humorlessly. “Actually, I wasn’t completely sure about that until I saw you guys just now. I know you’re all probably wondering what happened to me. I bet you’ve got so many questions, but…” He props his long arms on his knees. “I’d really rather hear what you guys have been up to first.”

  We all look at each other.

  “We’ve been looking for you,” Jode says. “We’ve been trying to work out how to get you back.”

  Bas smiles. A dashing smile, like when he first saw me. I’d forgotten how beautiful he is. Steep cheekbones and full lips. A long straight nose. Eyes the color of dark chocolate that actually deserve to be called dreamy. I see that new quality in them again, but now I’m closer to understanding it. It reminds me of Marcus and Gideon. Of having taken some hefty knocks in life. But it only makes Bas more appealing. Added to his black armor, he’s every bit the roguish warrior who will make you laugh to deflect away from his dark secrets.

  “Thanks, Jode. That makes me feel good,” Bas says, with the easy candor I remember. “That can’t be all you did, though. Someone had to have done something more interesting.”

  Gideon sits forward. “Well, you probably haven’t noticed, but I lost my hand.”

  “I did notice, in fact.”

  “I figured. But I got this as a replacement. It’s actually pretty cool when I’m not in here. Because it works.”

  Bas smiles. “It suits you.”

  Such a simple thing to say. But it’s not pity and it’s not false. I can tell Gideon appreciates that. I can tell it means a lot.

  “I’ve been in Wyoming working at a ranch,” I say, trying to give Bas what he actually wants. I understand how he feels. Just over a week ago, I felt out of the loop myself. “I teach little kids to ride and rope. And we do arts and crafts.”

  “That reminds me.” Gideon hops to his feet and goes to one of the supply bags, reaching inside. He comes back with Bastian’s scales. “Here you go, man.”

  Sebastian’s smile fades away as he takes the weapon, a chain of smoke-colored steel with scales on either end—scales that are currently interlocked. He looks at it so fondly. It makes me realize how much he sacrificed all these months without a single possession from home—not a single thing to call his. “Thank you.”

  “Anytime.”

  Bas smiles. He looks around. “What else?”

  “Well, I’ve been at Cambridge,” Jode says.

  “Jode’s also been with Anna,” Marcus adds with a mischievous smile.

  Gideon shakes his head. “A little respect?”

  I’m glad to see them teasing each other. I was worried about the fallout from the haunting, but with Sebastian back, everyone’s happy. United.

  Bas’s eyes go wide, turning from Jode to Gideon. “Wait, wait, wait. Your sister? That Anna?”

  “Yes, that Anna,” Jode says. “And I truly don’t see why it’s such an issue for you, Gideon. It’s not as though I’ve shared the details about—”

  “One more word, Jode. Seriously, man. One more.”

  Jode laughs. “Anyhow.” He gestures between Gideon and me. “I think we’re looking past the obvious here.”

  Bas breaks into a huge grin. “You two? The two of you? That’s awesome!”

  “I broke down her defenses,” Gideon says matter-of-factly.

  “He didn’t,” I say. “My defenses are perfectly secure. We’re conducting friendly negotiations.”

  “Our negotiations are a lot more than friendly.”

  “On occasion.”

  “Such passion,” Jode says. “It’s electrifying.”

  But Bas is loving this. “I kept thinking about what you were all doing while I was in here. And I pictured this—this exact moment. The five of us together again, catching up. When Rael told me he saw you, Daryn, I knew it was only a matter of time. I knew you’d come for me. We’ve been riding through this area since then, looking for you. I left the note—did you get my note?”

  He trails off, seeing that he’s lost us. Tension rises around us, as thick as smoke in the air. I feel my face burning, my heart racing. And I want to freeze time, because I know I’m about to lose the beautiful, peaceful moments we just had.

  “I was trying to find the right time to tell you,” Bas says, his voice missing its usual color.

  “Now works.” Gideon stares at him, unblinking. “You know what else I want to know, Bas? Who the hell is Rael? If you don’t mind my asking.”

  He pronounces the name like Bastian did. Rell. But we all know the answer already. Since the moment I first saw Samrael in here, part of me has been trying to accept that this was possible. Bas was in such bad shape when he entered the Rift. It would’ve been a miracle if he’d survived alone.

  “Gideon, you have to understand—”

  “Hold on a sec. We’re talking about Samrael, right? The demon that poisoned you? The demon that cut off my hand? Is it that Rael, Bas? Is that who we’re talking about?”

  Bastian doesn’t blink. “I was going to die. I would have if he hadn’t saved me. I owe him my life.?
??

  “He was the one who tried to kill you.”

  “He’s different. He’s changed. I know what you’re thinking. That it’s impossible he’s changed. But he has. What happened with the Kindred was before. Samrael was a subject. No—it was more than that. He was a slave to Ra’om. Ra’om controlled him. Ra’om controlled all of them. You know that. He was in command. He gave them their power and told them how to use it. If they opposed him, he hurt them. You have no idea, Gideon. You just don’t know. You can’t just show up here and think you understand everything. You don’t.”

  “Samrael commanded your death. Are you even hearing that? And he killed the guard in Los Angeles. We lost three people in Wyoming. He’s a killer.”

  “So are you! So is Jode. So is Marcus. You only justify it by saying it’s for the right reason.”

  “You want me to apologize for killing demons? Never going to happen.”

  “That’s not what I want.”

  Gideon throws his arms out. “Then what is? What are you saying? Why are we talking about a demon like it matters? Why are we still in this hellhole?”

  Bas jumps to his feet. “You have no clue what I’ve been through!”

  Gideon is up just as quickly. “Why are we still here, Sebastian?” he asks again demandingly, every word punching the air.

  “Because,” Bas says. “I’m not leaving without him!”

  I’m not leaving without him.

  The words knock around in my skull like marbles in a jar. There’s no order, or context, or permutation in which they make sense. It’s like he just spoke a different language.

  “I don’t know what the hell you’re saying, but Samrael’s not leaving here,” Gideon says. “It’s not happening, Bas. He’s not going anywhere.”

  “Then neither am I,” says Bas, with finality.

  Gideon sits back, that cold skepticism seeping into his blue eyes, washing away all traces of his good mood.

  Marcus drops his head into his hands.

  Jode shuts his eyes, like he can’t believe what’s just happened.

  Something dark has just moved into our circle. A raw ache builds in the back of my throat, and I scramble to recover the closeness we just felt. “Sebastian, if you stay, then we all stay.”

  He looks at me, his expression crestfallen. “I’m sorry, Daryn. I can’t leave him here, just like I couldn’t leave one of you. You have to believe me. He’s changed. He doesn’t deserve to be stuck here. He’s different.”