Reconnection



  Reconnection

  H. Dacanay

  Amber has made a decision: She will never fall into another relationship again. And she’s never been happier living a single life. Her aunt doesn’t agree to this so she persistently tries to set her up on dates with men—all whom she had rejected. But when her aunt’s latest “future boyfriend” discovery happened to be a classmate from high school who she hated, will it be different this time? Or will this sudden reconnection just lead to more heartache that will reinforce Amber to her plunge into the world of singlehood?

  © 2015 by H. Dacanay

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  ISBN 9781310465680

  First Edition, 2015

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 1

  So this was what Aunt Celine’s text entailed that night I was working overtime: “I think I’m having a heart attack. You should go home. I’m serious. I think I’m dying. Please…”

  And you know what I did? Like a cold, heartless bitch, I threw the phone aside and carried on with working.

  Don’t worry, she’s lying. I mean, come on, will you be able to construct an 18-word text in perfect grammar if you think you’re dying? Screw punctuation marks if I’m about to have my last few breaths.

  Bullcrap. That’s what Aunt Celine’s text was. It was a ploy to have me home for an impromptu dinner date with a guy I barely know.

  Yeah, STRANGER.

  I know, right?

  Like, hello! Doesn’t she know how high the crime rate is from inviting strangers into your house? Well, I don’t know either. But I suppose it’s high. Common sense; no statistics needed to back that up.

  Very unsafe, Auntie Celine. Very unsafe.

  If her text would have said something about her getting murdered, even in perfect grammar I would have believed her. Because the probability of that happening is, really, 100%.

  I get it. Setting me up with guys so I can have a boyfriend and eventually get married (like two months from the first date) came from a good place. But it was my choice to stay that way. And no, I wasn’t the single since birth kind of woman who just because in her late 20’s have already given up on love.

  But yes, I had given up on love. And that was based upon my past relationships. I would not detail all three; I’d just sum them up as “I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than be in another relationship with a jerk.”

  And I’ve never been happier with being single. It gave me that chance to be brave and make my own choices. To be without a man telling me what to do or defining what would make me happy. It’s amazing that I can do things relying on my own strengths and resources.

  It’s fulfilling.

  And I just hoped that I could dwell long in this singlehood bliss if not for an aunt who always finds her way to burst my bubble.

  While I got her intentions, I didn’t understand why she’s doing it. She’s lived a single life, too, and she’s happy. So why was she pushing this marriage idea into me?

  My phone suddenly rang and it became harder to concentrate on the important business proposal I was trying to write. So I picked the call up.

  “What?” I said monotonously.

  “I told you I was dying and you ignore me?” Aunt Celine had a rasping sound to her voice. It’s like she swallowed Cookie Monster and Oscar The Grouch. It makes her a bit a scary when she talks, but really, she is the sweetest 57-year-old woman you’ll ever meet.

  “So am I talking to the ghost version of you now?” I asked in all sarcasm.

  “Ha. Ha. Very funny. I can’t contain my laughter. Stop it.” Of course, she said that dryly, clearly no sign of being amused.

  “I ignored your text because I know you’re not really dying.”

  “What if I really am?” she challenged.

  I sighed. “Auntie Celine, I think I’d know if you really are. You are going to call me instead of sending me a text.”

  She didn’t reply straight away. She knew I was right.

  “Fine,” she said. “But I promise you, this new guy, you’ll like him. He said he knows you from high school. Had a crush on you in senior year.”

  I rolled my eyes. What a major lie. Nobody had a crush on me in high school. Let alone, senior year. Ha! I had looked horrible. Not the monster-type horrible, but horrible in teenage standards. No one had ever confessed to having a crush on me in high school and I had been cool with that. It wasn’t like I was the first ‘girl who didn’t exist’ in the history of Earth anyway.

  “Really. What’s his name?”

  I supposed if this guy was telling the truth, I could tell if his name is right. I certainly don’t remember all of my high school classmates’ names but it might ring a bell. And if it does not, then not only is he a liar but also a potential criminal.

  “Leo Bromer,” Aunt Celine answered, and my eyes blinked rapidly in shock.

  Crap, I knew a Leo Bromer from high school.

  “Here, why don’t I pass the phone to him so you two can talk.”

  It was too late to say no.

  “Hello?”

  And here I was, hoping that the universe was just playing a joke on me. That this guy who’s at the other end of the line at this very moment was a different Leo Bromer. But hearing his voice just backed up the fact that this was indeed Leo Bromer from high school.

  My bully.

  “Amber?”

  “What—Why—How did you find me?!”

  I can see his devious smile from the phone. “You’ve stayed in the same town for 28 years, and you’re asking me how I found you?”

  Right, stupid question. “What do you want?”

  “Didn’t your Aunt tell you?”

  I heard Aunt Celine shouted from the background, “I told her,” and I couldn’t help but cringe. Couldn’t believe she fell for his evil charms.

  “Wow. It’s been years, Leo, and your way of bullying me hasn’t changed.”

  “I’m not bullying you now,” he said defensively. “And I’ve never bullied you, actually. I did like you back in high school. You’re the one who didn’t believe me.”

  “And why would I?” I dared to ask, standing up from my office chair as if he was just a few feet away from me and I’d charge at him like a maniac. I just have had enough of him. I had gotten away from him when he went to a different state for college and now he comes back and taunts me again? Hell, no.

  “Why would you not?”

  “Don’t answer me with a question,” I said, frustrated.

  Leo went silent for a moment, before he sighed heavily and finally spoke. “You know why you didn’t believe me.”

  “Because you’re a jerk?” Then, doing a poor impression of him, I followed up with what I assumed he must have thought that very moment he decided to bully me. “I’m bored. I’m gonna make fun of this ugly girl by letting everyone know I have a crush on her when I really don’t. I’m gonna openly bug her to go out on dates with me so everyone will be like, ‘what the fuck,’ and everyone will hate her. Well, screw you, Leo. You’re coming back for me now because I didn’t fall for that stupid plan of yours. And I hate to break the bad news to you, but I’m also not falling for it this time.”

  He went silent again. And when he spoke, I sensed some hurt
in his voice. “Why would I do that to you?”

  But I didn’t let that “hurt” faze me. He made you feel undeserving, Amber, and you wouldn’t forgive him for that. “Because I had seen you in your weakness, and everyone knows how the strong Leo does not get weak. He’s unbreakable. He’s tough. He’s a man!” I took a long deep breath, calming my enraged nerves. In a soft voice, I told him, “I never said a word to anyone how your own father almost killed you.”

  “I know.” It was a quiet response. Even though I couldn’t see him, I could tell his mood had shifted from that teasing jerk to something gentler.

  “Then why did you make half of my senior year a living hell?”

  “Is that what I did to you?” He sounded surprised with this accusation.

  Well, ‘living hell’ was a bit of an exaggeration, but I went on with it. “Yes.”

  “I—I’m sorry, Amber. I didn’t know. I—I should go.”

  Then he hung up.

  I should be rejoicing. I had just made the tough, unbreakable Leo fold. But crap, why was I feeling guilty?

  Chapter 2

  It was hard to focus on work the following day, the events of last night stubbornly harking back to my memory. And every time the last few seconds replayed in my head, I’d wince, wondering if I had been too harsh. I had been resentful of Leo’s bullying back then, but I hadn’t really been that open about my anger for him either. I had rolled my eyes at him, told him to “bug off”, but most of the time, I had just ignored him. And then I’d go home and cry to myself, wishing he’d stop making me feel unworthy the next day.

  Couldn’t continue what I was working on, I decided to take an early break. I went down and out of the building, got myself a sub sandwich from one of the food trucks parked on the side street, and marched to the park just a few walks away where I usually have my lunch.

  Ten minutes of trying to enjoy my food when I felt someone sat beside me on the bench.

  I curled my neck to look at the person and was stunned to find that it was Leo.

  Was he like a human radar or something? Geez.

  “What—Why—How did you find me?” I asked incredulously, my brows furrowed at this perplexing event, which smoothed out merely a few seconds later as the image of his face sunk in me.

  This was the first time I saw him again in 10 years. It would be stupid if I didn’t say he didn’t have this certain effect on me, just as he had when we were in high school. Because he had that effect on me 10 years ago. Which made the whole bullying experience kinda more painful. I had liked him. I had felt secretly giddy when he tried to ask me out. For a moment, it felt good to have his attention. But then I’d reminded myself that he only charmed me to make fun of me in front of everyone. To know if I’d give in, he can laugh at me in the end for being dumb to believe him. So I never did. And eventually it had turned to bitterness. For making me feel undeserving and small.

  And right now, I felt small. He looked better than when we were in high school. Even in a simple gray shirt and casual black jeans, he rocked the look. His arms and shoulders were ripped with muscles, and the 5 o’clock shadow he was sporting made him more appealing.

  Whereas I—I looked the same.

  Plain.

  Plain, plain, plain.

  “Your co-worker told me you eat your lunch here every day,” he said.

  “You went upstairs?” I nodded to the building where I work.

  “Uh-huh. And if you’d ask me how I knew where you work—”

  I cut him short and blurted, “Aunt Celine.”

  That traitor.

  “Right.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  “What do you want, Leo?” I asked, sighing a beat later out of frustration. For myself mostly. Why did I need to ask him what he wanted? I should be walking out, not getting involved in a conversation with him.

  He gently rubbed his entire face with his hands. “I couldn’t sleep last night. I am hoping we could talk about 10 years ago.”

  “Why?” This was a shock to me. He went through the effort to look for me just to talk about 10 years ago? “What for? I’ve already forgotten about it. Until you showed up.”

  He recoiled a bit. “Because I think I know why your past relationships didn’t work out and now you’re afraid to be in another again.”

  My eyes widened in astonishment. How did he even know about my failed relationships? But I’m going to think about that later. I started to jut out one finger, starting to count, “because you made me feel I deserve less,” I jutted another finger, “and then those relationships just made me miserable to the point I’d rather be alone.”

  His face turned up a sorry look. “I wanna make things right.”

  A curt sardonic laughter escaped from my mouth. “What made you think you can do that?”

  “Coz I can,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

  My eyebrows instantly shot up to my forehead in a mixture of shock and awe. Mostly at his confidence. I have almost forgotten how exasperating it was.

  I swiftly wrapped my sub sandwich with the foil it originally came with. Lunch was over, and so was this conversation.

  Knowing that I was about to leave, Leo held my wrist to stop me. “Amber.”

  “What?” I said, turning my head, looking at him in all seriousness.

  “I didn’t mean to ruin you.”

  And just like that, I felt a prickle to my heart that travelled all the way up to my eyes, burning with tears that were about to spill out. Still, with all I can, I held them off.

  Ruin. He did ruin me. But I didn’t really know if he was to blame or I. Because I had the choice to move on. I had the decision whether I’d let him define me or define who I deserve. And the thing was, I had allowed him.

  He went on. “I liked you in high school and that was the truth. I will never forget the way you looked at me that night. Against the haze, your eyes shone with tenderness, and I’ve never seen that from anyone.”

  I shirked my wrist away from his grip and sunk back to the bench. “You were beat up badly, Leo, anyone will look tenderly at you.”

  Like it was yesterday, memories from that night vividly played in my head. I was forced to bring him notes as a favor from one of his friends since we live in the same subdivision. A few steps away from his front porch though, I saw his father storming out, heading to his car. Then he started the engine and sped away. When I reached their house, the door was wide open. I didn’t get in at first; I thought that was impolite. So I called for Leo’s name. But instead of him telling me to come in or walking to the door to meet me, I heard him cry for “help”. That’s when I entered the Bromers’ house and found him lying on the kitchen floor. His face was badly bruised, blood staining his sky blue shirt. I told him I’d call an ambulance, but he said no.

  Now, I don’t know where he got this ‘look of tenderness’ because from what I remembered, it was a ‘look of confusion’—from him denying me a chance to call for people that could actually give him help.

  In the end, I nursed his bruises.

  “Maybe.” Leo’s voice cut my trip down to memory lane. “But it was also more than that. You--” He suddenly stalled, looking at the ground as if in battle about whether to go on or not. He decided to go on. “I know you stayed with me that night.”

  My mouth hung open. That detail. I didn’t think he’d find out about that. He had been asleep. And even when I left a few hours later, he still had been. How did he know?

  He enlightened. “I woke up—I didn’t know what time that was—and I saw you asleep on the floor by the chair. The chair which you used to block the door. Which I figured you did to protect me from my Dad. And…And it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” He bowed his head, trying to cover the shy smile that suddenly turned up on his face. “And that’s also when I got interested in you.”

  “Sure you did.”

  Leo sighed. “Listen, I wasn’t all out with expressing how much I liked yo
u back then, and I fully admit to that. You’re this good girl and I didn’t know how to make you fall for me without looking like an asshole. I don’t pursue girls like you.”

  “Coz I’m ugly?”

  He looked definitely bowled over. “What? First of all, you’re not ugly. You are beautiful, Amber. But absolutely dense coz you’re completely missing the point.”

  My eyes instantly squinted at him.

  “I didn’t pursue you the way I should have had because at the back of my mind, you don’t deserve someone like me.” Leo scooted a little closer, his body twisting so he could fully face me. “I didn’t mean to make you feel small, Amber. It was I who actually was every time I look at you. I was so sure you wouldn’t like me back. But the selfish side of me wanted you to know how I felt for you. And bugging you, asking you out, that was kind of how I had let you know. Coz I’d rather let you know than just keep it in. No matter how you interpreted it.”

  “Well, I interpreted it as you bullying me.”

  “I know.” Shame laced his voice at his admission.

  “Why didn’t you just be serious in asking me out?”

  “Like I said,” his fingers raked along his hair, “I was so sure you wouldn’t like me. I thought if I’d put humor in it, then you rejecting me will not hurt that much.”

  “What if I had believed you?

  A huge smile spread on his lips as he gazed at a faraway space, seemingly picturing what I just said. “That would have been awesome.”

  For a moment, my anger for him disappeared. He looked genuinely delighted when he said that. And the things he just declared seemed like they were the truth. And sweet. Very sweet, as a matter of fact.

  But no, I couldn’t just give in like that. Who knows he’s just doing a repeat of what he did back in high school? Trying to charm me so I can embarrass myself if I actually believed him.

  But why was he doing this? Why all of a sudden, he’s at it again to bully me? For crying out loud, we’re adults. Didn’t he grow up?

  I stood up from the bench and looked at him. “You’ve ruined me, Leo, you’re right. But there’s nothing you or even anyone else can do to un-ruin me. Especially not you.”

  ***

  I helped Aunt Celine with dinner that night, but I hardly talked to her. Actually, I didn’t talk to her at all (unless I really needed to) since last night up until this moment. I was mad at her. For trying to bait me with a fake dying text to yet again trying to hook me up with a guy. And of all guys, Leo! Not that Aunt Celine had any idea who Leo really was. I mean we just started living with each other, looking after one another, when mom died some years ago.