Love is...Blind
He was saved from replying when Vicky joined them, but instead of sitting on her chair, she went directly to the man she had claimed and pushed herself onto his lap.
Jerome had no idea what to do. He did not deal with kids. He had no idea what to do with his hands. Awkwardly he placed his left hand on her shoulder, when that turned out to be uncomfortable, he let his hand fall to his side. No, that was not going to work either. He saw another dad with his son and saw his hand resting on the child's leg. He did it and it actually felt normal, comfortable. He continued to eat with his other hand.
Josie watched in fascination as her daughter settled on Jerome's leg and grabbed her food and ate and talked, as if it were totally normal for her to sit on Jerome's lap. Then she looked at Jerome. It was comical. It was so obvious he had no idea what to do. She wanted to laugh but instead lowered her head and pretended to eat, so he wouldn't see her smile. His awkwardness was amusing.
Josie started thinking and taking notes from her daughter. Jerome had no choice. Vicky had claimed him, and there was no way he was going to walk away unscathed. Why should he? She knew that she would never be the same; she was falling in love with this man. Why should she not fight for him? The only thing she had to lose was her pride, but if she won, her prize would be the happily ever after she wanted so badly, and he was worth it.
An hour later Jerome walked them to his apartment but did not come in. He just made sure they were safe inside. Vicky ran in and turned the television on and Josie followed. When she noticed he wasn't coming in, she walked back outside. Jerome was standing at the threshold looking at them. She was not going to let him speak this time and say dumb things, so she started speaking.
“Let me guess, you have to go back to the office and you want me to stay inside, lock the door and not open it for anyone. I promise I will. Now go. Do what you have to do and hurry home.” She went on her tippy toes, kissed him right smack on the lips and before he could respond in any way she was inside the apartment and the door was closed with him on the outside.
Jerome leaned his head on the door, wondering how in the world he was going to survive this. Josie was not his ideal woman. His ideal woman would not be driving him crazy. There was no way he was going to survive this, between mother and child they were breaking all his defenses.
The LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.
Psalm 147:11
Chapter 23
Jerome went to his office and Googled decapitated females. In the last ten years, there were quite a few, but most of them were victims of terrorism. He changed the criteria and typed decapitated females and serial killers, and the search narrowed. He started opening files and reading them.
Most of them were useless to this case, and just as he began feeling that his time had been wasted, he discovered an article about three bodies that had been found in Pennsylvania, all females and all decapitated. The three women had been found in the same location three weeks apart from each other. According to the article, the killer was never found. The article was three years old.
He called the police station in Pennsylvania and had the file sent over night to him. Deputy Hernandez was more than willing to help, as one of the females murdered had been his fiancé. He wanted this man caught. He had even offered to fly in and see how he could help with the investigation.
They had spoken for about an hour, and the similarities of the case led them to believe it was the same man. One of the things to search for were people who had moved to the area in the last couple of years, but he knew that was impossible. In frustration he leaned back and wondered how to put the clues together. Why was he having such a hard time on this case?
He knew why. This was a small town and they did not have that many resources nor the people to help. The big offices had teams of cops, and here it was just him and Jones— who was supposed to be his partner and not only did he have a bad attitude, but he was never around. In the local police department, there were only two police officers as well: Tom, who was busy with his new baby, and Gaston, whom Josie wanted to keep at a distance.
The only one he could trust and count on at the moment, regardless of Josie's feelings, was Gaston. He knew he could call him; as a matter of fact, he should call him to find out if they had learned the name of the last victim, and if they had found anyone else’s information.
“Gaston, this is Parker. What have you found out.”
“Hello to you, too.”
“Sorry, I am anxious about this case.”
“I just received the forensic report. Your victim is Francis Brown. She has been in and out of jail in the last year or so, with drug related crimes. She comes from a good family. She has one kid who lives with her parents. Since she got hooked on meth, they have not been able to help her or control her.”
“Anything else?”
“We checked the DNA on the different strands of hair and compared them to the body's DNA, and the DNA found in the blood behind the mirror. We also compared the DNA found in the hairbrush that had fallen behind the toilet. We found three other people, other than Josie and Vicky, that is. Of those three, one moved up north, and has not been here in the last couple of years. One is our victim, and we know that because the DNA from the hair matches the DNA from behind the mirror and the body. The last one is not on file anywhere. I'm surprised your people missed so much.”
“I'm not. The supervisor spends most of his time at home, and the rest follow his example.”
“You need to come back here.”
“I'm thinking about it. Anyhow, how do you know they are Josie's or Vicky's DNA?”
“I took hair samples from the hair brush in the bathroom.”
“Yeah, I forgot about the brush. Any fingerprints?”
“Yes, I could not find anything on the door handle, and the prints I lifted from the doll house belong to Vicky, Josie and your partner.”
“It's funny, I don't remember him entering the house. Can you fax me the results? I want to send them to someone in Pennsylvania.”
“What's going on in Pennsylvania?”
“A hunch. Josie said something about a man with a New York accent and I did a search. There was a similar crime in Pennsylvania. They were able to pull up some DNA, but it did not match anyone either.”
“So you think our killer moved from up north to here making sure he or she left his calling card in every town.”
“Something like that. Hey Gaston, one more question, unrelated.”
“Shoot”
“Tell me about Kenneth Smith.”
“The very prolific defense attorney?”
“Yeah.”
“He's a lawyer. What more do you need?”
“I want more than that. If you were friends with Josie's dad you knew him then.”
“What are you looking for?”
“I wish I knew.”
“If I don't know what direction to go, I don't know what to give you. In my opinion he was always garbage, but Chase liked him.”
Jerome knew he was stalling. He had done everything he could do tonight, but now he had to go home. Perhaps he could stop by Tom's to see the baby before heading to the apartment.
“Hi, what brings you here?” Said Tom.
“Just checking on the new parents and baby.”
“You know very well you did not come to check on us.”
“Of course I did.”
“Jerome, we’ve been friends since elementary school.”
“I know.”
“What's bothering you?”
“I need to talk about the case with someone.”
“Tell me about the case.”
“There is still a killer out there who is smart enough not get caught, and while he’s still loose I can't let her go yet.”
“You are afraid she is next.”
“I know she's next. The killer made sure we got the
message. At first, I thought that it might be Ivonne, but with the second killing, the message was clear. The only way I can think of catching him right now is to use her as bait.”
“Who? Josie? Bad idea.”
“Really bad idea.”
“Is something else the matter?”
“I don't think so. I just need her to move back home so I can get my life back.”
“Is she that much of a pain.”
“Yeah! Kind of. She cooks, she cleans. I find my laundry washed and folded. She has even bought fabric softener.”
Tom choked on his laughter. He tried to be sympathetic to his friend, but he lost it and laughed so hard he ended up bent over holding his stomach to be able to catch his breath.
“What are you laughing at?”
“You are falling and you are falling fast.”
“She has to go. I need my sanity back.”
“Is that really what you want?”
“You know it's unprofessional for me to get involved with her.”
“You're an adult. Wait until the case is solved.”
“Wait for what? She belongs in a different world.”
“Explain.”
“She's not right for me – she is stubborn, willful, doesn't do as a say, doesn't stay where I leave her. Not only that, but we come from two different cultures.”
“For a second I thought you wanted a dog, but then you threw out the culture thing.”
“Tom, you know very well what I'm talking about. How do I explain it to my mother?”
“First of all, when two people come together, they have to adjust, some more than others. Second, your mother wants your happiness.”
“It would bother her.”
“Your mother is not like that. Growing up I spent more time at your house than mine.”
“That was different.”
“No it wasn't. Your mom loved us. She saw us for the individuals we were.”
“Let's just be realistic, Tom. Not everybody can have what you have.”
“You’re right, what I have requires guts, commitment, and lots of work.”
May the LORD now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this.
2 Samuel 2:6
Chapter 24
Josie had no idea what to feel, perhaps she had pushed too hard. It was nine o'clock and he still wasn't home. She had eaten with Vicky and then had put a very sad Vicky to bed… and he STILL had not come home.
She really liked him, and would have liked to see where things went. She understood it was a dangerous game, and her heart could end up in a thousand little pieces, but she was still willing to risk it. The problem was that Vicky's heart could be damaged beyond repair. She had already decided he was going to be her daddy and the way things were going, she was going to be quite disappointed. Josie could not blame her as he was everything a woman could ever want in a man, unfortunately though, she was not what most men wanted in a woman. His kindness toward Vicky had given her hope to believe that they might have a future together, a future in which she would not end up alone.
Her mom and dad had been happy. It had been a fairy tale story, even if it had ended too soon. A while back, she had asked her mom if she would do it all over again, if she would still marry my dad if she was aware of the heartache it produced at the end. Her mother had said 'absolutely.' Josie wanted what her parents had. She wanted a man that followed her dad's characteristics: a man who loved Christ, a man of honor, honesty, and integrity. A man who would love her and cherish her, and a man who would be a good dad to her baby. So far, all the ones she had dated had lacked those qualities. Now she had found one. She had found one worth fighting for, and he did not want anything to do with her. Then again, his kisses told a different story.
Jerome had been sitting in his car waiting for her to go to bed. When the lights of the apartment had not dimmed, tired and grumpy, he had given up and gone in. She was sitting on the sofa reading. She was so beautiful and she was actually wearing pants.
He sat next to her, but when she tried to lean into him, he put his hand up to stop her, and his heart broke at the hurt in her eyes. “This thing, whatever is going on, this is not real, Josie.”
“How do you know it is not real if you won't give it a chance?”
“Because we are so wrong for each other.”
“Explain it to me. I will give you space if I understand. Are you married? Is there someone else?”
“There is no one else.”
“Then please help me understand, I know you are not gay.”
“Where do you come up with these things?” He smiled at her as he raised his hand to catch a tear that had spilled from her beautiful blue eyes. When he saw the contrast of his dark hands compared to her light skin, he lowered his hand.
Josie noticed his eyes as they shifted from her to his hands. She was expecting the caress and shifted forward, instead she found a void. A thousand things passed through her mind all at once. The sadness and confusion were immediately replaced by fire.
She jumped from the sofa and started pacing the room. She was talking to him, but in a rhetorical way as she was not giving him a chance to respond.
“Oh, no! You wouldn't be such an idiot. You could not have..., you were...We live in the twenty-first century and people don't drink from different water fountains any more. You are a stupid moron. What is the matter with you? You were comparing our skin color! No, you wouldn't be that dumb.” Then she stopped right in front of him, and asked, “Are you that dumb?”
He did not respond. He had not moved from the sofa, waiting for her to come up with her own conclusions, and she had. He got up and gently grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to the mirror in the bathroom. He stood behind her. “Tell me what you see.”
“I see a man who is kind, honorable, ...”
“Stop! You know exactly what I mean.”
“Okay! If you want me to see our superficial features, then I will. You are dark and I am light. You want more specifics, you are black and I am white. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Everything!”
“Okay, so if I go by your logic, when I am looking for a husband... I need to look for a blue eyed, blond haired man. It won't matter if he loves me or Vicky, what matters is this utopian idea you have created in your narrow-minded head. Excuse me. You are right. I just realized how right you are. I need to look for superficial features not for a man who loves me and my daughter, nor for a man with honor, honesty and integrity. He has to have blue eyes and be blond. Yuppie do!”
“Josie, stop.”
“Why? Are you afraid your idiotic ideas might be proven wrong?”
“Don't you see it?”
“Don't I see what? That you are an idiot for paying attention to labels meant to divide people. That's not who you are; that's not who I am.”
“STOP!”
“You Mr. Detective, don't scare me one bit, so stop screaming before you wake Vicky. Now you are going to listen to me. When I see you, I see a man I could fall in love with, but I won't know unless we give us a chance. I see kindness and love. I see respect for me and my daughter, but you are right. Those qualities grow on trees. I am sure I will find them in a blue eyed, blond male. Oh! I dated one of those and a drink later, there is Vicky.”
“Josie, stop!”
“No! Let me finish. If I am looking for superficial characteristics, where do I stop? Because your logic tells me that it is not just the skin color, but also another superficial factors such as height; therefore, since I'm short, he’d better be short, too.” Josie walked out of the bathroom still talking. The last coherent thing he heard was something that sounded like narrow-minded pigheaded males.
“Josie come back please.”
“Jerome, I don't like arguing with a fool; so unless you are going to give me a valid reason why you won't give us a chance, this is pointless.”
He
followed her “Today, people were looking at us and talking.”
“Yeah, well tell me what they said.”
“I don't know, but it wasn't good.”
“How do you know? Better yet... Why do you care? Do you know who those people were?”
“Eventually, it would start to bother you.”
“Don't you dare go and include me in your narrow minded, shallow views. People have been looking at me, speaking about me, since before I even got pregnant. They judged me because I had a nose stud, because I wore black lipstick, because my clothing was all black, because I was a single mother, and on and on it went. Not one of those people approached me to see what was going on inside my head or my heart. Not one of those people approached me to see if I needed something when my daughter had to stay at the hospital an extra week. My mom had to work and I was alone and scared. If you think I am going to pay attention to the ignorant people of this world, think again. Excuse me.”
“Where are you going?”
“I told you I don't argue with fools. I am going to bed. By the way, your dinner is in the oven.”
“I ate.”
“I know. Only a fool would choose fast food over a homemade meal. Sweet dreams.”
He was definitely a fool, thought Jerome. She was beautiful, intelligent, sassy, and she wanted him. He went to the oven and saw a plate with mashed potatoes, fried chicken, green beans and gravy on the side. It had been hours since his last meal.
Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts. Perhaps the Lord God Almighty will have mercy on the remnant of Joseph.
Amos 5:15
Chapter 25
Josie felt extremely confused. Looking back at her life she saw all the wrong paths she had taken. Every decision she had made, right or wrong, had been seeking attention. She did not understand it then as she did now that all she had ever wanted was a dad. All she ever wanted was the male figure that would make her feel like a little princess. She saw the same need in her daughter.
She was comforted in knowing that her father never abandoned her. It was death that took him away. Dear Father, I want you to know that I've been angry with you for a long time, please forgive me for my rebellious ways. I know you have your reasons, but I am still hurting. I need your help.
As she grew up, she paid attention to her friends. Not all of them had a dad, not all of them had a mom, but they had someone to take their place. She did not have uncles or grandparents. The only males in her life had been the cops, her dad's old friends.