Trueman Bradley - Aspie Detective

  “Why?” she asked. “Because you’re all alone, at night, on the boardwalk. The boardwalk has a lot of crime at night. Muggers and robbers and crazy people! If you were a kickboxing champion, carrying a machine gun in your back pocket, I would still be worried about you. It’s just not safe! I’m worried you’ll get killed or something! Why did you insist on searching the warehouse alone? Sal could’ve gone with you.”

  “I wanted to do it alone because…” I said.

  I saw a shadow moving along the sidewalk. I was horrified to realize someone was walking towards me. I was still lying on the ground. I crawled into a nearby bush, hiding from the unexpected pedestrian. I remained still, hoping he wouldn’t see me. I was relieved when he walked past without noticing me.

  “Nora!” I said. “You made me forget to use my jerk magic equation. Someone approached me and almost saw me!”

  “Oh, I’m sorry!” she said. “I didn’t know you were using that equation. So, you haven’t met anyone on the boardwalk?”

  “No,” I said. “The inventor put my equation into my two-way wrist TV. So now I can enter the data into the watch and it does the jerk magic equation for me. So, I’ve been able to improve the equation. I met no one, until you distracted me!”

  “I said I’m sorry!” she said. “Wait… you said you put the jerk magic equation into the computer of our wrist TVs?”

  “Yes,” I said. “And the crime-fighting equation too. The inventor helped me to put the equations into the wrist TVs.”

  “Does that mean we can use your equations?” asked Nora.

  “Well, yes, I guess you can use them…” I said.

  I stopped myself from saying any more. I hadn’t meant to tell Nora that. Ever since I had been confused by Malcolm and Eddie equaling zero, I had begun to doubt that my equations worked. If my equations were flawed, I didn’t want my friends to know about it. I didn’t want them to use my equations on their wrist TVs or they might discover my equations are imperfect. I needed to end this conversation.

  “I need to go now,” I said. “I will write on my schedule, ‘receive call from Nora at 10:05 pm.’ Write ‘call Trueman at 10:05 pm’ on your checklist. Please don’t call before then. We need to execute the plan very precisely or it won’t succeed.”

  Nora sighed.

  “Okay, Trueman,” she said. “I guess I’m not as worried if you are using your jerk magic equation to avoid people. But I would like it if…”

  “Okay, bye!” I said.

  I interrupted her because I was scared she might say something about my equations again. I cut off my connection to Nora’s wrist TV and began inputting the data of my jerk magic equation to predict when it was safe to emerge from hiding and continue walking to Hickson warehouse.

  But inputting data made me impatient.

  “Maybe putting the equations into the wrist TV wasn’t a good idea,” I said. “I can execute it faster in my head.”

  I closed my eyes and concentrated on the jerk magic equation. Within a few seconds, I calculated the answer.

  “Great,” I said. “Ten minutes and three seconds with no people. I’ll get to Hickson warehouse with no interruptions.”

  I emerged from my hiding place and started walking along the boardwalk. I thought about my equations.

  “Maybe putting the equations into the wrist TV’s computer was a bad idea,” I said to myself.

  Because of my thoughts, I hadn’t been concentrating on where I was going. I suddenly felt very confused about my surroundings. I have a poor sense of direction. I often get lost and confused, even in places I’ve visited before. I had been sure of my location only a few seconds earlier, but from a moment of not paying attention, I had completely forgotten where I was. I panicked, and wasn’t sure if I should continue walking or hide somewhere until my panic stopped.

  “I need the telephones!” I said.

  I pressed a button on my wrist TV and saw the Ulam spiral I had invented. The location of all the public pay telephones in Manhattan were entered into my wrist TV’s computer and arranged into a mathematical Ulam spiral. I was comforted by the logic and order of prime numbers in the spiral. Their diagonal symmetry calmed me and I was able to remember where I was. I was walking along the fifth diagonal on the Ulam spiral. Because of my skill at math and visualizing numbers, having a mathematical map of Manhattan helped me to visualize my location. I continued walking confidently along the boardwalk.

  “Only eight minutes until someone comes!” I said.

  I could see a large, square silhouette beside the river. It was at exactly the location where Hickson warehouse should be. There was a short distance of forested parkland between the boardwalk and the warehouse. I needed to climb over a fence, walk across the parkland and enter Hickson warehouse through the back door. My equations indicated that no one would disturb me.

  I looked at the metal fence and tried to think of how to climb it. I had expected to simply jump over it, like I had seen Dick Tracy do in comic books. But now that I was in front of the fence, I could see it was too high for me to jump over and I didn’t know how to climb it. I put my hands on the bars of the fence, but I was not strong enough to climb over it. In the comic books, Dick Tracy simply flew over fences. There was no explanation about his method of jumping a fence.

  I looked at the item on my checklist that read, “jump fence and walk across parkland.” It seemed to me I would fail at this task and never be able to cross that item off my list. I noticed an open gate nearby, leading into the parkland. I hated to change anything in my plan, but when I made the plan I didn’t realize there was a gate. So, maybe it was not so bad to change this one detail. I would have planned to use the gate, if I knew it existed. I crossed “jump fence” off my checklist and replaced it with “use gate.”

  A wind came in from over the Hudson River and my yellow trench coat flapped. The cold wind caused me to shiver. I pulled my coat tightly around my body and hurried through the wind, past the gate and into the dark shadows of the parkland. The darkness was disturbing to me, and because I was wearing my special sunglasses it was difficult for me to see where I was going. Although everything was going according to plan, and the changes I’d made had been minor, I could not stop feeling tense. The darkness made me nervous. Even the cold breeze scared me. It all made me feel a paralyzing anxiety.

  The trees looked sinister in the shadows and sometimes looked like people. But I knew my jerk detector equation was improved. It was now correct 92 percent of the time. So, every time I thought I saw a person, I reminded myself that nobody was around. There was only an 8 percent chance of anyone being around.

  “That’s a very low percentage,” I said, comforting myself.

  As I said this, I saw the silhouette of a man, leaning against a fence. I tried to deny that it was a man; I tried to remind myself the likelihood of seeing someone was only 8 percent, but I couldn’t. The silhouette was too clear and too obviously human. I ran towards the nearest tree and hid behind it.

  I was breathing heavily and it was hard to keep quiet. All my anxiety and fear had now been justified. I covered my mouth with my yellow scarf, trying to keep my breathing silent. I peeked around the tree to see if the man had heard me. He was standing in exactly the same position, leaning on the fence.

  I was horrified to realize this 8 percent chance possibility had come true. I was either having incredibly bad luck or my equation was somehow flawed. Either way, I was unhappy and terrified. My plan was ruined. Now, too much had gone wrong. I had the strong desire to cancel the mission and run away.

  I looked at my wrist TV and was tempted to call Nora, even though calling her now wasn’t on the checklist. My checklist plan was ruined now, so it didn’t matter anymore. Besides that, I was scared of what this man might do to me and wanted the comfort of feeling I wasn’t alone. Because of the wrist TVs, I was never really alone. I switched on the wrist TV.

  “Nora?” I asked, trying to speak quietly.

  There was
no answer. I peeked behind me, to see if the mysterious stranger had heard me, but he stood in the same position. He was so perfectly still, it was frightening.

  “Nora!” I said, slightly louder.

  Nora’s face appeared on the wrist TV.

  “Trueman?” she asked.

  Her voice was loud and it made me jump from fear that the man would hear us. I lowered the volume. I could see from the TV screen that Nora was high above the street. I could see the lights of New York City below her.

  “Please speak quietly,” I said. “I know it is not on the checklist for me to call you right now, but I have a problem.”

  “What is it, Trueman?” asked Nora.

  “Trueman?” asked Mrs. Levi.

  Shocked, I looked around the dark forest for Mrs. Levi, but all I saw was the mysterious man, still leaning on the fence.

  “Trueman?” asked Mrs. Levi. “Is that you, dear? My goodness, this wrist TV really works! I can see your face!”

  I realized Mrs. Levi was using her wrist TV to talk to me. I could now see two faces on my wrist TV: Nora and Mrs. Levi. Mrs. Levi appeared to be sitting in our office, drinking tea.

  “Mrs. Levi,” I said, “this is not a good time for talking.”

  “Oh, are you busy, dear?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I said. “I have a problem.”

  “Oh, you don’t say?” she asked. “Well, I won’t take too much of your time. You know, I was just wondering, Trueman… me and Nora were talking a little while ago…”

  “Mrs. Levi,” I said, “I really need to talk to Nora.”

  Mrs. Levi continued talking.

  “…and Nora told me all about how you put that equation of yours on these wrist TVs… so, I was just wondering. Does it mean any one of us could solve crimes like you now? We can all use your equations and solve crimes now?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Well, then, dear,” she said, “in that case, there’s all kinds of crimes in New York City. There’s murders and robberies that could be solved by any one of us, right? I think we should be using this thing to saved kidnapped children, recover the purses of poor old ladies… you know, that kind of thing. Isn’t it kind of… immoral, if we have the secret to solve these crimes and make people happy, and we don’t use it?”

  “Immoral?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

  “Well,” she said, “we’re really no better than the criminals if we have the key to rescuing kids or to finding some poor old lady’s stolen money and we decide not to use it.”

  “Key?” I asked. “What key? I only have the key to the office and the key to my granddad’s house in Heartville.”

  “No, Trueman,” said Nora. “That’s just an expression. What Mrs. Levi means is… if we have the power to help save kidnapped children, for instance, and we decide not to help them, that’s kind of immoral. Because we’re not helping the children when we are able to. That’s bad, right?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Well, we have the power to help them with your equations!” said Nora. “So I think we have an obligation to do things like save kidnapped kids. If we don’t, we’re just deciding to let them suffer! Then, we’re really just as bad as the criminals, right? Mrs. Levi and I decided we’d use our wrist TVs to rescue all the kidnapped children in New York City. I think we could do it. I’ve seen how well your equation works. Mrs. Levi and I just need you to show us how to enter data into our wrist TVs and use your equation. So, what do you think? Will you help?”

  I had never really thought of this before. My equations had always been a fascinating hobby for me and a means of succeeding as a detective. I hadn’t realized they could also do a lot of good. Just by inputting data into the computer of my wrist TV, I could end the miseries of a kidnapped child. The innocent victim’s horrible ordeal could be stopped by me, in just a few minutes. I suddenly felt as if I were responsible for all the unsolved crimes in the world, because I had a tool on my wrist that could solve every one of them. All the criminals were free because I was so selfish that I didn’t choose to spend a few minutes to solve their crimes.

  “You’re right, Nora,” I said. “I didn’t realize that.”

  “Great!” said Nora. “Then when we’re done this mission, you can show me and Mrs. Levi how to use your equation.”

  “Wait!” I said. “No! I can’t help you!”

  “What?” asked Nora. “Why not?”

  I had remembered that my equations seemed to be flawed. I didn’t want Nora or Mrs. Levi or anyone to use my equations until I was sure they were working perfectly. I couldn’t endure the embarrassment if they discovered my equations didn’t work.

  “I can’t show you how to use them,” I said. “Sorry.”

  “But what about saving kids?” asked Nora. “Trueman, you can’t be saying you refuse to help us. Don’t you know there are innocent victims of crime out there suffering all kind of awful things? And you don’t want to help them! Why not?”

  “I don’t want to talk about this!” I said. “I have some trouble here. A man is leaning on the fence and he doesn’t move. I think I might need to cancel the mission.”

  “What?” asked Nora. “Why? Trueman, is something wrong? You’re acting very strange. If there’s something you’re not telling us or if something’s bothering you, please tell me.”

  “There’s nothing I’m not telling you,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about it! Items on my checklist plan are going wrong. Maybe I’ll go back to the office and make a new plan.”

  “We can’t start over, Trueman!” said Nora. “I’m already on the roof of the apartment block. What exactly is going wrong?”

  “There’s a man here in the park,” I said.

  “Well, just hide!” said Nora. “Wait for him to go away.”

  “But he doesn’t move!” I said. “He hasn’t moved at all for the last five minutes. He’s scaring me. I need to cancel.”

  “I don’t understand!” said Nora. “You said you’re using your jerk magic equation to avoid people. So, how come you couldn’t avoid this guy? Just use your equation!”

  I didn’t answer. I had accidently let her know my jerk magic equation seemed not to be working. I felt a terrible fear that all my equations had stopped working. I would fail at this mission; fail at being a detective and Nora, Sal and Mrs. Levi would no longer admire my mind. I felt paralyzed by anxiety.

  “Wait a minute, Mr. Bradley!” said Sal.

  “Sal?” I asked. “You’re using the wrist TV too?”

  Three faces now appeared on the screen of my wrist TV. Sal was inside the driver’s seat of the Lincoln car.

  “Yes, Mr. Bradley,” he said. “I was listening to your conversation. You said there is a man leaning on a fence? And he is standing very still? Is that correct, Mr. Bradley?”

  I looked around the tree and saw the mysterious man leaning on the fence. He hadn’t moved from his original position.

  “That’s correct, Sal,” I said.

  “Okay, I thought so,” he said. “Tell me, is there a bear standing nearby?”

  “A bear?” I asked.

  “Yes,” said Sal. “Have a look around. See a bear?”

  I looked around the grassy lawn where the man was leaning on the fence and I saw the outline of a bear, in the distance.

  “A bear!” I said. “Now I know I need to cancel the mission. Sal! Please drive here and get me. Fast!”

  “No, no, Mr. Bradley!” he said. “I do not need to get you, although I know exactly where you are! You are close to the street called River Terrace. That is correct?”

  “Yes,” I said. “But how do you know that?”

  Sal laughed.

  “Because, Mr. Bradley,” he said, “there are many statues in the parkland beside River Terrace. That man is a cast-iron statue! The bear is also a statue. If you walk further, you will see a statue of a giant fist. That man is not a real man!”

  I looked at the mysterious man, but couldn’t determine if
he was real or a statue. I removed my sunglasses and could instantly see that he was, indeed, a statue. I could see the moonlight reflecting on his metal body. I felt incredibly relieved and sighed deeply.

  “Oh,” I said. “Then the cancellation is cancelled.”

  “Okay,” said Nora. “But we still have to talk about why you won’t help me and Mrs. Levi to help rescue kidnapped kids!”

  I felt suddenly embarrassed that I had mistaken a statue for a man and defensive about my equations, which I still suspected were not working. I didn’t want to have this conversation right now. It caused me stress and I didn’t want any more stress. All these mistakes already stressed me so much, I was shaking.

  “I can’t talk now,” I said. “Please write ‘receive call from Trueman at 9:52 pm’ on your checklist. Thanks. Bye.”

  I switched off my wrist TV to avoid hearing her reaction.

  “Only three minutes until someone comes!” I said.

  I ran across the grassy lawn, towards the warehouse.

  “Oh, I wasted so much time because of that statue!” I said.

  As I ran past the statue of the man leaning on the fence, I hit him on the head, as his punishment for making me late. I ran past the statue of the bear and was soon at the back door of Hickson warehouse. The moon was beautiful, reflected on the waves of the Hudson River, but I had no time to admire it. I had only a few minutes to execute the next item on my plan.

  I crossed off “go to Hickson warehouse without meeting anyone” from my checklist. The next item read “pick lock of the back door of Hickson warehouse.” I had only a few minutes to open the lock of the warehouse’s back door before someone came to disturb me. But it shouldn’t be a problem for me, because I have been picking locks since I was a small child.

  “Picking locks” is an expression used to describe a method of opening locks without using a key. Instead of using a key, I use long metal rods called “picks.” When I was seven years old, I had an obsession with keys and locks. One day, I had found an old dead-bolt lock in my granddad’s garage and, after examining it, I became fascinated with locks and keys. I didn’t play with toy cars or teddy bears; I played with locks and keys. I would study lock and key catalogs and memorize every detail. I could recognize the brand, model number and style of any lock. When I was nine, I found a book about picking locks, which my granddad had hidden between the “S” and “T” encyclopedias in his library. In a few days, I was able to pick locks and had practiced on every lock in the house.