The Life, Death and Life of Amelia Hollow

  ***

  “Love the haircut.” Geraldine’s holographic image smiled. “I didn’t know that the USM had good barbers.”

  “They don’t.” Sven and I said at the same time. My father knew that from experience.

  I shook my head. “No… my new dub captain cut it for me without any consent.”

  “New captain?” Sven raised an eyebrow. “What happened to the phallic?”

  “We had a duel, he tried to give me brain damage and I kneed him in the gonads. So now that trinard I told you about is my captain.”

  His hand went to his forehead. “The gonads… really?”

  “He tried to kill me!” I explained. “But now I kind of feel bad for the guy. He’s got some sexuality issues he needs to work out.” I said softly. The booth was practically soundproof, yet I was being cautious seeing as Kel was third in line. I do not know who he would be calling after he snapped at his father the last time.

  “Sexuality issues?” Sven asked with raised eyebrows. – He loved gossip.

  “He’s gay but algrins aren’t cool with that I’m pretty sure.”

  “How do ya know?” Geraldine asked.

  “Well, during our duel I realized it.” I said as if it was a logical explanation.

  “How so?” Sven queried.

  “I just had an epiphany in the midst of the duel.”

  Sven wasn’t convinced for some reason: “So… you fought him, and now you know he’s gay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” Sven put up his hands. “I just wanted to get that straight.”

  Geraldine giggled at the joke my father made in fake way. Obviously he still had not told Sven about the dusk incident. My God, the longer he waited the madder Sven would be. If he waited any longer then there relationship was going to hit a serious speed bump or drive off a cliff and die in a fiery explosion.

  “I just have strong feeling he is gay, dad.”

  A strong feeling? The dark voice in my head asked. Or do you know some things about the universe you are not supposed to know?

  “Shut up!” I accidently snapped out loud.

  “What?” Sven asked, a little taken back.

  “Nothing.” My shifty eyes really helped prove my innocence.

  Sven nodded slowly, displeased. Luckily, he could not push me for questions anymore seeing as our time was nearly up.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow and give you more info on my new captain, okey dokey?” I asked sweetly.

  “No problem. Love ya bub.”

  “Bye!” Geraldine and I said at the same time.

  I hopped out of the booth and acknowledged Henn who was going in next. Kel completely avoided my gaze. He was still furious at moi for embarrassing him in the duel. It was going to be awkward regenerating next to Kel for the next five years. Even though I wasn’t in his dub crew anymore, the USM personnel could not be bothered to swap Veck and I’s regeneration chambers.

  I was zigzagged across the grey floor as my vision began to blur. The corridor got longer with every step I took. True fear set in when I fell to my knees. My head felt like it was filled with helium as blood flowed from my nostrils like two waterfalls. A small pool of blood formed at my knees, dampening them.

  Just out of focus stood a shadowy creature. It did not resemble any kind of humanoid. All I could make out was its long lanky legs that led to a body too high-up for moi to see. Tak. I thought before collapsing at the creature’s claw feet.

  When I came-to seconds –or minutes– later, Va from Ket was cradling my torso in his (or her) four arms while Frek was kneeling next to us. Apparently the overgrown ant was the one who had found me after I passed-out. I had nothing against Va, but being close enough to his face to hear him breath was unpleasant. – His pincers were very disturbing.

  “You’re quite a hassle, you know that?” Frek asked semi-rhetorically.

  My body felt as if it had not been moved in years. Even bending my fingers was straining. Persevering through the pain, my hand went to my face for inspection. Luckily, there was no blood so the whole incident had been a hallucination.

  “Sorry.” I groaned before nudging out of Va’s grip. “I’m just tired.”

  Frek nodded. He was suspicious. I was not going to bother telling him about my constant hallucinations. The harsnic would just want to wipe my mind again. It may have been wiser to have mind wiped repeatedly until I was clean, but I didn’t want that. Just knowing that I had had all that knowledge at one point made me hunger for it again. Even though I possibly risked death, I still wanted to keep the remnants of all the knowledge Bennu gave me.

  “Yeah, we’ll see about that.” He muttered. “If you wake up tomorrow and feel tired or sick, tell me in science and I will get you sorted.”

  “Sorted as in another mind wipe?” I hissed. My paranoia was kicking-in.

  Va was feeling very awkward during the silence. He had found me passed-out on accident, why should he have to suffer through Frek and I’s strange conversation?

  “You can go.” Frek said. Before the harsnic even said ‘go’ the giant ant was on his way.

  “I don’t want another mind wipe.” I stated boldly.

  “Do you need another mind wipe, though?” His grey eyes pierced my cold blue ones. “If something’s happen to you, Amelia,” he said my proper name; shit was real, “then you have to ask for help before it’s too late.”

  “Too late for what?” I asked ignorantly.

  “I know you looked-up Tamarax Deloro. You know what she’s become.”

  “You think I’m going to become her?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “You could become worse than her.”

  “How so?”

  The harsnic exhaled loudly. “Just… Just keep it together for the next few days, okay? We really need you to keep it together.”

  Who’s the ‘we’? I thought, but did not ask. And why ‘for the next few days’?

  “What would happen if I did… fall apart?” I asked, less aggressive. Being harsh with Frek never got moi anywhere.

  The harsnic stood up. “Let’s just say you wouldn’t be the only thing that fell apart.”

  “Subtle.” I grumbled.

  “Hey, you got your answer.”

  Frek left me on the floor. He could not care that much about moi if he didn’t even help me up.

  “You ever gonna be straight with me?” I called out.

  “I could ask you the same question.” He muttered so I could barely hear.

  Man… I really had to get rid of his German accent. He was sounding more and more like an evil mad scientist.

  25: Deep Space Nen

  It was a normal morning. The regeneration chamber would act as a carwash before spitting me out like a bad prostitute. Then I would sit on the floor with my knees hugged to my chest for the next few minutes trying to recuperate. – A good way to start the day.

  The little scars from the suction cups were beginning to look a red and irritated. They were most likely infected. Maybe it would be wiser if I did not rip them from my body every morning and took time to carefully pluck out each one. Meh, I’ll stick to ripping them out savagely.

  The only thing that was different about this morning was the fact I could not bring myself to get off the floor. It was not as if I was unmotivated. My skeleton felt as if it was made of lead.

  Time flew by as I slumped against the door to my cubicle. Breakfast did not sound appealing. I would have wanted some food if I knew it wasn’t going to taste like cardboard.

  In my daze I thought about Dub Cap Kel and how he had had a meltdown after our duel yesterday. It already felt like all that had happened so long ago. Seeing as every minute felt like an hour here, I guess that explained why everything that occurred yesterday felt like it had happened weeks before.

  I was surprised by my own surplus of empathy for Kel at that moment. Out of all the sad sacks at Starside Academy, why did I feel the worst for the phallic? It was probably because I was
ashamed of myself for being a bitch to him. Yeah, he deserved a good kick to the gonads, but I wasn’t the one who was supposed to have dealt him it. It was something Ams should have done. The ‘melancholy’ girl deserved to give the algrin a piece of her mind.

  “Dub First Off Am of Mar.” A voice said from the other side of my door. It was not a question, more a demand.

  I had a very long title didn’t I? Only Chorst would bother to call moi by full label. What was he doing out there… and what time was it?

  “Yes?” I replied. I was suddenly surprised by my hoarse voice.

  “You were absent from breakfast.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  He didn’t answer for a moment. So I decided to give him a little more information on my condition: “I can’t get up. I…err, just can’t get up.”

  I waited for an answer, and yet all I heard were Chorst’s boots thudding away towards the exit. The trinard’s anti-socialness was becoming incredibly annoying. It was not his fault, but I wished Chorst could give me proper explanations.

  In the blink of an eye I heard voices. This suggested I had dozed-off since Chorst had left. It could have been minutes since he left for all I knew.

  “Am, you okay?” My science teacher asked. He sounded sincere, that was a good sign.

  “Yeah.” I tried to reply casually, but my voice cracked.

  “Could you come out?”

  “Err… No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m naked.”

  Nudity was not an issue for either of the men outside my chamber. Frek was a scientist and had studied the female anatomy for various aliens while Chorst was simply asexual. Luckily, the harsnic understood that humans had different standards around exposing their bodies. It was not acceptable for a teacher to see a student naked even if the situation was not sexual.

  “Go to class, Dub Cap Chorst.” Frek ordered. “I will be there soon.”

  Class had already started? Crap, I had been out a while.

  Chorst vanished from the scene very quickly. Now it was just Frek and I. Even if I was dying, I wouldn’t let the harsnic in to help moi. I doubt he wanted to come in either. Despite his scientific background, he did not want to see somebody naked if he didn’t have too. Especially if said person was an obnoxious white girl from a second-class planet.

  “You sure you can’t stand up?”

  “Give me a moment.”

  My hands shook violently as I tried to rest them on each wall. I paused there for a moment before attempting to push my body upwards. The plan failed, and Frek heard moi hit my back against the door as I slumped down again. – What was wrong with me?

  “I’ll get a robot.” He called through the door as his fingers danced across his wrist computer.

  “Thank you.” I muttered.

  “Wow.” He smirked. “I never imagined those two words coming from your mouth.”

  “Fuck off.” I hissed so quietly that the sound didn’t go past my own ears.

  After a minute the door abruptly slid open. My head hit the floor at the robot’s wheel. It was AI605 who Frek had called. The harsnic had his back politely turned. I gotta give Frek credit for being a patient teacher.

  “C-can I get dressed?” I asked him and the robot.

  “Can you get dressed?” Frek asked back without turning his head.

  I looked down at my trembling body as the robot helped moi to my feet. “No.” I replied.

  “Get Dub First Off Am dressed.” Frek ordered.

  The robot moved my limbs around like I was doll. I tried to cooperate, but my shaking was uncontrollable and getting on the body-glove was difficult. The robot had to be forceful to get me fully dressed. Luckily, it was not as if a robot could complain.

  My feet dragged as the robot led me down the corridor. Frek walked alongside us in a stride. Even though I was slumped-over, the harsnic was still shorter than moi. He was very good at standing his ground even though over half the cadets were taller than him. The thought of him being with Alk was kind of adorable seeing as she was a foot and a half taller than him.

  In the USM, height did not affect the power of a person. Mel was not outrageously tall. She was around my height, but her dark presence made her seem taller. – That woman disturbed me.

  “How am I looking?” I asked as the red light scanned my body.

  Frek typed something into the tablet he was holding. “Just give me a…”

  I closed my eyes as the red light ran over my eyes. Once it reached my forehead, its projector switched off and folded back into the side of the bed. “… moment.” The harsnic said to finish his answer.

  A long silence followed. I didn’t notice, though. Keeping track of time was hard when I was trying to stop my body from trembling. I felt vulnerable not having control over myself. You can ask Sven, Geraldine, my friends and my last two boyfriends (Chorst not included. We’re not dating… yet), they will all tell you I hate not having control of my body. Trusting Frek to look after moi was not fun seeing as we resented each other on some levels.

  “Ah.” Frek hymned triumphantly. “That makes sense.”

  “W-what makes sense?” I asked. I slapped myself figuratively when I hear my own stutter.

  “Deep Space Nen.” He said as if I was supposed to know what that was. It is not surprising that I thought he said something different.

  “What?”

  “It’s a neurological disorder that develops in the nervous system when a person spends a large amount of time deep space.” He explained. “Nen is actually caused when a person psychologically changes due to their new conditions in space. Don’t worry, a lot of cadets get it when they come to Starside Academy. It is like a physical expression of homesickness.”

  “Oh.” I tried to nod my head, but it was already shaking a bit. “It’s treatable, right?”

  “Certainly not on your planet,” Frek laughed, “but in the USM, most things are treatable.”

  “The USM couldn’t treat Tamarax.”

  Frek shot dagger my direction. “I said most things are treatable.”

  “So what’s the trea–?”

  I was abruptly interrupted when my body convulsed. My nervous system had to be running on some serious electricity for my body to shake so much. When it stopped, I laid there like a ragdoll. My body was numb, but at least I was not shaking anymore.

  “In mechanical terms; I’m giving your nervous system a reboot.” The harsnic explained. “Tragically, you will be out for quite a while. So you are going to miss the sample analysing which I am sure you were looking forward too.”

  “Darn shame.” I mumbled jokingly. “Will I miss history?”

  “Yes.”

  “Thank God.”

  ‘God’ didn’t translate for Frek seeing as he had no god, yet he knew what I was saying. “Why does everyone hate history?” He pondered aloud.

  “It’s boring and untruthful.” I said boldly.

  Frek did not debate moi: “I felt the same way when I was fifteen.”

  Harsnics were very similar to humans. The main difference was how they aged. Their mind was developed by the time they were fifteen which was considered the age they became adults. That was why my brother, Cameron, went to Planetarymark Academy when he was fifteen. However, harsnics were lucky because after they turned fifteen their aging process slowed down majorly. Frek was most likely over fifty-five, yet he looked only late twenties or early thirties.

  “I recall that your father, Sven, hated the history we tried to teach him.” He continued. Wait, he knew my father? “He said our history ‘more absurd than the plot of any given L. Ron Hubbard book’.”

  A smirk escaped me. “That sounds like my father. When did you meet him?” I asked curiously.

  “I was a lieutenant-commander aboard the naval ship that picked him up when he breached the zoning laws of your Solar System.” My eyes widened. “We actually became good acquaintances. But Earth was still an independent planet at that time so
…”

  “You weren’t allowed to hang out with him.” I finished the sentence for him coldly.

  “Heh.” My teacher acknowledged how discriminatory that sounded. “That did not stop Sven, though. He enjoyed forcing himself down someone’s throat until they were his friend.”

  My father ‘forcing himself down someone’s throat’ sounded filthy, but I am positive Frek did not mean it that way. He just meant my father was annoying –like moi– and would follow people around until they gave-in and spoke to him.

  I squinted my eyes suspiciously: “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

  “I didn’t feel the need too.” He said without looking up from the tablet. “Lots of the cadets here have parents who are –or were– ambassadors. I know most of them, yet most of them probably do not know me very well.”

  “Name one besides my father.”

  “Donno’s mother, Netto.” He stated without one moment of thought. “Or Merrkai’s mother, Raara. Even Chorstand’s father…” The harsnic looked up in thought. “Jacoden. Yeah, that trinard’s been ambassador for quite a while.”

  I found it interesting that Frek used the full names instead the Hey-names. Using our full first names was considered informal or even offensive. He had to know us –and our parents– very well if he felt comfortable enough to call us our actual names.

  This conversation explained how most of us had become cadets; our parents were –or had been– in the USM. I needed to make Frek a closer ally. He could give me much more insight into the USM. Now I knew a little more about my father’s time at Starside. He knew Frek and he probably knew Chorst’s father as well. I would ask him if he knew the trinard during our call tonight. Well, if I could move my limbs by that time.

  “Frek?” I asked after a brief silence.

  “Hmm?” He looked up from his tablet.

  “I can’t move… at all.”

  He nodded understandingly. “Yes. That’s normal.”

  Great.

  “So am I just going to lie here for the next few hours?”

  He shook his head. “No. AI605 is taking you back to your chamber to regenerate. When regeneration is complete you should be able to move again.”

  “When will I be waking up?”

  The harsnic checked his wrist computer. “At 23:00. That way you can support your dub crew by attending.”

  “Do I get to fight?” I asked, now perkier even though I could not move. Missing all my other classes and going straight to combat sounded like a good idea.

  “You will still be very weak… so no, but you can support your dub crew from the overview room.”

  “Yay!” I sang sarcastically.

  “I cannot exactly stop you from attending combat.” He warned me. “If you really want to be beaten to a pulp, you can be.”

  I thought about it for a moment; “Meh, I’ll pass.”

  At the time, I did not know that the lessons we had today would be the last for some of the cadets… and I was probably one of them. Yes; I am foreshadowing. You read the title of this book, you knew this was coming.

  “Deep Space Nen ain’t related to the Bennu incident, is it?”

  Frek paused: “No. I can promise that.”

  “How did Mel react when you told her about what happened during that lesson?”

  “She didn’t react.” He said placidly. “Mel is the wisest woman in the galaxy… maybe even the universe. Why would she react to a teacher doing something stupid and showing his students Bennu?”

  Frek was only telling half the truth. Mel did not react, but he had reacted when she told him some things. Mortals were not usually allowed to know too much about the future, however Mel had made that occasion the one exception.

  The harsnic did not accompany moi and the robot back to the regeneration chambers. He had a science class to teach. It was naïve of me to be thinking about how low my grades were going to be this year. Back at my old high school in Wyoming my grades were excellent. What happened to that smart girl I used to be? Maybe when I learned that most things Earthlings knew about science was wrong, I had mentally given up.

  It will not matter much longer. The dark voice in my head mused ‘reassuringly’.

  “Shut up.” I muttered. “Like you would know.”

  Sanity is overrated. Speaking to the voice in your head is much more entertaining.

  I watched the robot’s electric glowing eyes from behind the thick glass. It appeared it was not going to close the door to my cubical until it was sure I was regenerating. My science teacher had probably ordered to do that so I would not sneak-off. I did not know why Frek would ask it to do that; it was impossible to sneak-off when I couldn’t even move my limbs.

  “Start regeneration process.” I said calmly. Frek must have given me some drugs. I was feeling incredibly serene despite the fact I could not move.

  As soon as the blue gel got to my ankles AI605 closed the door. The robot disturbed me… Every robot here disturbed me.

  I dreamed of a black desert during my regeneration. It was like none on Earth or any other planet I had ever seen. There were such large cracks in the dark earth that they went all the way to the centre of the planet. There were no stars in the sky as if the planet was alone in the universe. And yet, there was still plenty of light from an unknown source.

  My old boyfriend, Aiden, was in my dream. He did not say anything; he was just in the background for most of it. I was more focused on Chorst. The trinard was standing just a few feet ahead of moi with his back turned. Every time I took a step close to him he would be flung further away. It was incredibly frustrating. It soon reached the point where he was a mile away. I gave up on trying to reach him and turned around. When I did I finally noticed Aiden. He was older, and holding Kim’s hand. I was jealous, but also happy for the imaginary man.

  The wind in the dreamland desert picked-up as Chorst flew back. Like Aiden, he was older. He was dressed in a full USM captain’s uniform that expressed his slender, yet now more masculine, figure. Then there were his eyes… They were so much darker than they are now. It was as if two little black holes had sucked up all their brightness and left nothing but the cold blackness underneath them.

  “I hate you.” He said with much resentment.

  I would have been offended if I had thought he was talking to me. The way he stared past my eyes suggested he was talking to someone else. I turned around to see who he was looking at. The shadowy figure was uncomfortably familiar… it was me. Yet it was not me, it was whatever dark force had been hiding at the back of my brain since the Bennu incident.

  “I hate you, too.” I said to the creature, taking Chorst’s side.

  “You’re a monster.” Chorst said behind moi. This time he was not talking to the shadowy figure. It was strange how in this dream he was expressing emotion even though he never would in real life.

  I opened my mouth to debate him, but something else came out; “Somebody has to make the hard decisions.”

  That was not my voice. That was the shadow in my head’s voice. It was taking control.

  Okay, those ‘serene’ drugs Frek had given moi were not working.

  Being awoken by the freezing water was quite a relief after the dreams I had had during regeneration. My limbs felt a little stiff, yet I could at least move them. Frek was right; I definitely could not participate in combat that day.

  I would have gone straight to the combat lesson, but my stomach growled at moi. My cardboard meal was un-shockingly bad. I had to basically fight my gag reflex to get anything down my throat. To add to the painfulness of the meal; the cafeteria was so quiet that my chewing echoed across the fluorescently lit room. It was just the robotic chef and I which is why I ate very quickly. – I didn’t trust that creepy metal monster.

  “Feeling better?” Alk looked up from the window and smiled pleasantly.

  I gave her a simple nod. My stiff legs reminded her that I couldn’t do combat today.

  “What are ‘we’ l
earning today?” I joined her at the window.

  “Right now, zero gravity.”

  “Without using their flight boots?”

  “Of course.” Alk smiled, revealing her sadistic sharp teeth.

  The cadets were scattered across the battle room like dead bugs in an outdoor pool. There was no particular aim for this exercise. Alk just wanted them to adjust to zero gravity. Based on her past experiences as a USM marine, she knew that all the cadets would find themselves in a zero gravity situation at least once. It was a nauseating feeling which they had to get used to.

  For Donn, this was his highlighted point. Because he was aquatic, he was used to not having his feet on the ground all the time. He was very comfortable floating upside-down and spinning around. Jhan tried to keep up with him as he circled around the battle room, but she got left behind.

  While watching this, I hummed The Blue Danube. Alk’s ears perked up when she heard the tune. It was not a famous song across the galaxy, but she recalled once hearing a strange blonde-haired and blue-eyed man hum it…

  I sat with Mar when all the cadets were called back into the overview room while Alk set up their next exercise. Nor took pleasure in briefing me on everything I had missed since this morning without leaving a single detail out. Dear God, that girl could really talk when she wanted. She could have honestly said: ‘you missed a bit of important stuff. Not to worry, you’ll catch up’, but not with Nor, she made me feel as if I had attended all the classes with her.

  “I’ll attend every class tomorrow without passing-out or getting sick.” I reassured the bird-like girl. Something deep in my gut told me I was lying, and that there were not going to be any lessons tomorrow. Do not ask me how I knew that. I just had a hunch that something bad was going to happen.

  “Due to the recent changes in dub crews,” Alk began. Eyeballing Veck and I, “you will do the traditional ‘domination’ exercise where the last dub crew standing wins. It is important for dub crews to be able to work together.”

  I glimpsed as Kel who was just a few seats down. He had been very passive-aggressive in the past few days. Maybe taking out his aggression in the next exercise was going to be a good thing… or a really bad thing. Veck on the other hand, looked very smug. I did not know what she was planning, but knowing her personality she had a little surprise in store for the algrin.

  Even though I was gone, Henn, Ams and even Gom felt very torn between Kel and Veck. Apparently the two had had a ‘tiff’ during yesterday’s sample collecting. Kel had tried to prove his dominance by scolding Veck for disobeying him and going off to collect samples in a different location. It was not as if he cared if she got in trouble while distant, he just wanted her to know it was up to him on where she got to go. What did Veck do? She simply picked him up, told him to ‘shut up’ and then let him drop. Kel had been so shaken by the whole incident that he had become a passive-aggressive mute since the occasion. If that boy did not like one thing; it was being picked up by a taller woman and then being dropped again. It was not a very violent act, and yet it showed Veck’s sheer strength which was something Kel feared.

  The next exercise was going to be very interesting seeing as they had to work together to win.