The She

  "Evan, do you really think it's that bad? He's that dangerous?" She sounded shocked, and I didn't answer I didn't know how much I should say.

  "Is he in the mob or something?"

  I shook my head. "In fact, Grey said actual mobsters are probably smarter; more discreet than he's been." I forced a breathy laugh. "She asked if there was a support group for men who just love to break the rules. You probably have some idea of his net worth. So put it all together."

  She just sat there, shaking her head. "I don't even want to begin to think about him. I want to think about her. She's little more than a child, for God's sake."

  You don't exactly mind your friends being called children in a context like that. And I threw my head back on the chair again, thinking of her kissing me like some dumb fifth grader despite the greasy old men—

  "I'll do it. I'll sign anything you want. I'll go to court, look him dead in the eye." I found I was blessing myself as I sat forward, but I meant what I said.

  She was shaking her head. "I think I'd like to go to some of the more learned authorities first. If there is a serious risk, it would be so unfair to your brother ... and would probably kill your grandfather."

  I thumped my fist on the front of her desk a little, then put my head down on it, staring at the floor. She was all too perceptive. She said, "Evan, do not get any idea you want to be emotionally involved with her. She's going to need a great deal of help before she can lead a happy life. As for romantic interests? Forget it. She wouldn't know—"

  "—a good touch from a bad touch," we chimed in together and my breath came out hard in a blast of frustration and anger at having been detected. She sighed into the silence, and I could hear sympathy in it.

  "Didn't you tell me last week you have this way of getting involved with thorny girls? This one's thorns could slice your head off. I'm not deaf and blind. You have to let her get more help."

  I thought of the last remark that Soundra quoted and shuddered. "I know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do for her."

  "Maybe you're not supposed to do anything. This is in the outer stratosphere of a KHK project. We have to mix desire to help with wisdom. I have another source. You're not the only one. I can probably open this can of worms. The problem is, it might take a couple of weeks."

  "Did you know she has nowhere to go in a couple of weeks?"

  "We'll find her a place."

  "Where? In foster care?" My voice went off more loudly than I wanted it to. "Grey Shailey does not belong in foster care, Mrs. Ashaad. Besides, who in foster care would take the risk of having her? To listen to her talk, you might think some leg breaker would show up in the middle of the night with a silencer put her out of her misery."

  "Do you think she's exaggerating?"

  "I doubt it."

  She groaned in disbelief, and I just stuck my arms out in some spasmodic shrug. After a minute she said, "I can have the FBI in here this afternoon or tomorrow. Maybe you could speak to them off the record."

  I shook my head. "She was not very specific. She named some overall types of crimes she thinks he committed, but she didn't say how, or when, or with whom."

  "Tell me the crimes."

  I watched her for a minute and felt myself full of Orphaned Kid Syndrome. I loved this principal. I was wondering if she weren't too naive, might put herself in harm's way if I said too much.

  "Come on, Evan."

  My problem? I loved too many people, I decided. She picked up her phone and said, "I have a friend at the FBI. I'm calling him."

  I said, "Fine. You know where I am," and I left. I figured I could keep her out of the middle. And as I was walking back down the corridor I felt ripped in shreds. I was so pissed at Grey's father I was angry at Mrs. Ashaad for not having all the pat answers. I was mad at Emmett and my grandfather for needing me so much I couldn't put my neck on the line. Then I was mad at Grey for being such a ... barracuda when all I wanted to do was help her. And I loved her for kissing like a bonehead child. And I hated her for leaving me scared that she could run out of strength and jump off a bridge.

  I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, dialed information, and got the number for Saint Elizabeth's. Information put me through, and I leaned on a couple of lockers, waiting for the ringing to stop.

  "I need to speak to Grey Shailey. She's a patient there."

  "I'm afraid that's not possible," the snippy woman's voice said.

  "Lady, this is an emergency. If you won't let me speak to her let me speak to her doctor;" I was going to tell him I was afraid of a suicide attempt, not because she hadn't convinced me on Friday night that she wouldn't. I just realized how seriously I would have considered it, if her life were mine, instead.

  "I'm afraid that's impossible, too. Grey signed herself out of the program this morning."

  "What?" I leaned off the lockers and almost fell forward. "How could she do that? She has two more weeks!"

  "Well, actually, if a patient is not signed in by the courts, she can sign herself out at any time," she told me.

  "She's a minor!" I blathered.

  "That rule applies to minors as well. If you'd like me to leave a message for Dr. Tartaglia, then—"

  "No. Not yet." I clicked the OFF button and started back down to Mrs. Ashaad's office. I had no idea where Grey would go or why she had signed herself out. I had to pass the school entrance, and call it intuition or just a way with details some of the time—my eye was caught by a person in the parking lot wearing street clothes, when everyone else around here had on uniforms. She was hugging a blond who had her arms wrapped around her neck. Chandra.

  I made a quick exit out of the building and gave a glance up to the windows, wondering which class I was supposed to be in and if it really mattered if that teacher saw me out the window.

  I got up to Grey and Chandra, who were hugging forehead to forehead and talking.

  "What the hell are you doing?" I asked, pulling Chandra off her.

  Chandra shook loose of my grip as Grey stared at me with some humor in her eyes that I didn't know how to take. It looked a little dangerous.

  "So she signed herself out early!" Chandra shrugged. "She looks great to me. She's coming back to school tomorrow, after spending an afternoon at Liberty Mall, of course, and everything will be fine ... This whole thing is our little secret."

  Chandra nudged me, and after such a long weekend I could see through to Grey's inner depths.

  I said, "Great!" in some tone I hoped would be lost on Chandra but would let Grey know I didn't buy into her bullshit.

  "Go to class! You've got enough Saturdays on account of me," Grey joked with her. "I've just got to tell Evan one thing, and I'll see you!" She didn't say, "I'll see you tomorrow," I noticed, and studied my shoes.

  "Hey, you let him come see you and you wouldn't let me. We're going to have a long talk about that!" She stuck a finger in Grey's chest, then backed up toward the entrance.

  "Long talk," Grey agreed with her nodding hard, waving. She was still waving at Chandra's back when she took hold of my blazer and pulled me up to her. "I had to do it," she said more softly. "If I hadn't checked myself out of Saint Elizabeth's, I couldn't get another two-day pass until next weekend. I needed one now."

  "Grey, whatever the hell it is, couldn't it have waited? Where are you going after this?"

  "Stop worrying about me, Evan! I can take care of myself."

  "I don't think so," was the nicest way I could put the fact that she had just come from a psych ward and couldn't exactly go home.

  "Look. Last summer a Girl Scout died in my face. The sorest problem I have right now is that I did nothing to save her. Well, call it my second biggest problem ... outside of the fact that I never learned how to kiss."

  She cracked up and clunked her head into my chest, laughing at the ground. My hands automatically went to the back of her neck, and she kept laughing too long, like she was enjoying having her hair rubbed. Her red face came up, which meant my hand
s were rubbing her cheeks. She put her own hands in between and thrust them outward, pushing me away.

  "And, unfortunately, I don't have time to learn. I called Lydia Barnes this morning. She was on 'The List.' She was with me when the Girl Scout drowned, and afterward I called her a douche bag for not pushing me into action. Can you imagine her guilt?"

  She didn't give me time to answer. "She was down in the Hooks for the holiday and didn't leave until six-thirty this morning. She was still on the road to New York when I caught her on her cell phone. Her dad had stopped in the Island Diner before heading north so they could get coffee and doughnuts for the road. Lydia told me Bloody Mary was in there. Bloody Mary was blabbing on to anyone who would listen that she'd heard The She once already today."

  I felt my jaw dropping, and I didn't like the look on her face. It was reckless, the same look she'd been wearing on Church's boat—when she said a new risk has little meaning when your life is already at risk.

  "I thought we were doing pretty good out in the canyon, trying to figure out what that noise was—before you lost your nerve." She pinched me in the side. "At any rate, my dad hasn't taken his boat out of the water yet. He's been too busy visiting me and playing superdad. I'm going back—"

  "Oh, no, you're not."

  "Oh, yes, I am. I want to hear it again. I've got to face my demons. I want to see them, if I have to. If that noise is nothing but an air pocket and the girl died in a riptide, then I'll have to deal with it. If it's something worse ... something I could never have conceived of before recently, well, then, I just want to know it. I have a right to."

  "Grey..." I knew car keys were gripped in her right hand, because it just had been in my face. I looked somewhere else, thinking I could grab them if I didn't attract her attention to the fact that I was aware of them.

  "At any rate, if there is a She who kills me, I'm dead. If she doesn't, I'm still leaving, Evan. I've got to head out of here. I came to say good-bye."

  I gripped her by the shoulders, though she tried to pull away. "Where in hell are you going?"

  "I can't tell you. But you have to believe me. I'll be fine. Very safe."

  I didn't believe her for a second. I would have shaken her if I thought I could shake the information out of her without giving her a hemorrhage. But she was so stubborn.

  She was stubborn, but she wasn't so fast. I grabbed her right hand and snatched the car keys. I almost took her finger off and had to listen to her curse.

  "Just stop at my house. I need clothes."

  "You can't go where I'm going, Evan."

  Watch me. "I can go as far as West Hook, can't I? Since when did this become just your problem?" I would take care of what followed West Hook after West Hook.

  "You've got a brother to think of! Do you know how lucky you are? Don't do anything stupid, Barrett."

  "I've got demons, too. If Bloody Mary is really hearing something, then it's as much my problem as yours. If that something kills you, then I don't get any answers. Unless I want to go see Bloody Mary and call you back from the dead. Is that what you want?"

  It was like something she would say. I think she was a little stumped to have met her own face in the mirror, "No ... Okay, just bring your damn Dramamine. You puke really loud and it's gross."

  That was a total lie. "Bargain."

  We got into her car.

  TWENTY

  Our problems started before we'd even crossed the Ben Franklin Bridge into Jersey. Emmett's number showed up on my cell phone and I took the call, figuring if he heard I'd left school and didn't know where I was, he would drop his whole day to hunt for me. I could think of a way to soothe him over maybe.

  "Evan, Mrs. Ashaad called. She said you disappeared from school, that you were very upset this morning, and that she'd set up a nine o'clock meeting tomorrow with you and some important people. She wouldn't tell me with whom."

  I glanced sideways at Grey, as innocently as I could. "Oh, I'll be there. Tell her not to worry."

  "Where are you now? Why did you leave school?"

  If Emmett ever acted like a father figure, it was always in a very diplomatic way, and I didn't have the type of relationship with him where I lied about too many things. I settled on, "Emmett, I can't tell you right now. I'll be home late tonight. We'll talk then."

  "Late tonight."

  "Yeah." I had to be careful, or he would figure the whole thing out. I remembered how easily he'd found me on the islands when I came cruising home on Mr. Church's boat. He was in his car I could tell by the hum, on the way to school. "Look, go teach your classes, go to your meetings, and whatever else you have today. I'll be fine, I promise, bro."

  "Evan, I don't like the sound of this. If you're not up to something that's either dangerous or involves poor judgment, why can't you tell me?"

  It might be both. I had no answer so I just hit END, clicked the power off, and handed it to Grey.

  "He's very smart. We'll have to steer clear of Opa's, Mr. Church, the diner The Docks, anywhere he would think to call. He'll figure this out. Where does your dad park his boat?"

  "At the Basin, which would not be hard to figure out either; My dad's name is as well known there as the president's is in Washington."

  My head bobbed around to stare. "The Basin? What the hell does he have? Something the size of the Goliath?"

  "It's a thirty-eight footer:" She whipped out her wallet, laughing in a way that sounded half victorious, half evil. She flashed a photo ID of herself in my face. Seaman's license.

  "You can drive that monster?"

  "As long as I'm not in a typhoon."

  "Listen." I thumped my fist on her knee, spouting some of the worries that had been running through my head. "We're going to get a Basin weather fax first thing when we pull in. If there's any sign of weather east of Kansas, we're staying on land, okay? God knows you can hear what you want to hear from land, too. And let's go pay a visit to Little Miss Mary first. I'm a pretty good judge of people, and if Bloody Mary is lying, I'll be able to tell."

  Grey pulled off her coat, stuck it in my lap, and fell asleep on it. I thought it was a very strange time to be falling asleep, but for some reason, she looked more peaceful than I'd ever seen her.

  I went to the Basin weather station first and figured I had some good luck. A weather fax showed a new warm-water eddy starting over the canyon, with clear skies all the way to Oregon. The air was forty-five degrees. I waved it victoriously under Grey's face as she was passing off what looked like a good load of cash to a very young dock-worken He was giving her a list of things he would check besides the fuel, including fuses and oil. She laid another twenty on top, and said something to the guy about her father going into West Hook to get his favorite bait. I guessed she wanted this prep guy to think we weren't alone.

  She grinned, looking over the fax, and I watched the guy walk off counting this wad. "What'd you do, stop home this morning? Raid some money-laundering nook?"

  "I took just as much as I need and no more," she said. "Dad took his little button skiing in Denver: I think she feels neglected from all the time he's spent trying to nuzzle up to me. Mom was making a good appearance at one of her few remaining charities."

  Her dad being in Denver gave me an even better feeling, like I wouldn't have to worry about him showing up here for some stray reason. It would take at least an hour for the boat to be gassed and prepped, so we went over into West Hook and pulled up in front of Bloody Mary's tattoo parlor: This time of year there were lots of vacant parking spaces.

  "What are you going to say to her?" Grey asked, and I sighed.

  "Why beat around the bush?"

  Bloody Mary was in there, filing her nails. She had on this green, blanketlike cape that matched her pale green eyes. She had long, ropy blond hair and, this time of year pale Nordic skin, so she looked like she could pass for a corpse if she wanted to. She was probably only around thirty, but her eyes and way of talking made her seem weirdly ageless. And it didn't help at
all when she said, "You don't want a tattoo. You want ... something else."

  I tried to ignore how creeped out I felt. I didn't look like the tattoo type, so it was a logical guess.

  "Right, no tattoos." I cleared my throat.

  Grey was standing behind me, like maybe she didn't want to deal with this part. But she laid an arm on my shoulder and a twenty-dollar bill dangled in my face. I swiped it, handed it off to Bloody Mary.

  "You were down in the diner this morning, talking about something you'd just heard."

  "I hear zee She!" She nodded heartily. I looked from one of her eyes to the other and back again. I couldn't see anything in them except enthusiasm. If this was a hoax, I couldn't tell. "She comes again. Last August, I hear her. First time in two years. This time, she gives warnings. Short shriek ... Friday night after dark. Again this morning. She comes. Tonight."

  I turned my back on her and looked at Grey as a sickening feeling rolled through me. I could have done without the accuracy about Friday night. But Grey gazed stubbornly around my shoulder and I turned again, this time ready to face something I might have to believe. I held up the Basin weather fax to her.

  "How can you say she's coming tonight? Look at this."

  She waved a hand, dismissing it, and pointed one of her long, filed fingernails up in the ain "That means nothing! You are confused. You confuse zee She with zee weather. She is alive. A being. She does not need zee weathen She needs no reason. Except that she is hungry."

  I put my fist in front of my mouth, thinking I was going to burp if I didn't actually heave again. I wondered if I'd lost ten pounds over the weekend, just from people inspiring me to lose my lunch. Grey stepped in front of me, passing another twenty to her.