4 Go to Dumdumland
Sami tumbles through the air. She knows that in just a moment she’ll hit the ground and will be all squished up. And she isn’t looking forward to it. Anything has to be better than being all squished up. Even sharing a bed with Claudie would be better. And she kicks all night. Any moment and it could all be over. She closes her eyes and hopes it won’t hurt too much.
It doesn’t. She feels nothing. It doesn’t even feel like she is falling anymore. Maybe she’s already dead and gone to heaven? She opens her eyes to check. And finds herself gently drifting down, held aloft by three Fairies. Fairies! She’s always wanted to meet a Fairy – and here are three of them, lowering her safely to the ground.
Up in the sky, way over the trees, things aren’t looking so good. The flying pig is circling Mia, Freddie and Claudie, like a hungry shark deciding who is to be first on the menu. The Rat is still hanging from his tail and isn’t a happy rodent.
“Get on with it” says the Rat. “My arms are killing me!”
“Your arms!” says the Pig. “What about my tail! It’s all long and stringy. I’ll have to put it in curlers.”
Down below the Fairies introduce themselves to Sami. There is Daffodil in flimsy blue. And Bluebell in flimsy yellow.
Sami isn’t sure if it is because in Dumdumland they have blue Daffodils and yellow Bluebells – or the two share a fairy bower and got dressed in the dark. And then there is Hyacinth, with cropped hair, nose ring and tattooed wings.
“My friends call me Goth,” she says. Sami says how grateful she is for them saving her.
“Well, you believe in Fairies,” says Daffodil.
“It’s the least we can do,” says Bluebell.
Something bothers Sami. “What would have happened to me if I didn’t believe in Fairies?”
“Ever seen Road Kill?” says Goth.
Sami gulps. Fairies are supposed to be sweet and gentle. And then something else puzzles her.
“How did you know I believe in Fairies?”
“Listen,” says Goth. “If you don’t want people to read your mind, don’t hitch a ride in a Thinks Bubble.”
Up above the trees, if the Thinks Bubbles could think they’d think they are in trouble. Because the Pig gives an evil smirk and flies straight at Freddie. Freddie tries to back his bubble away, but the Pig is too fast and jabs it with the sharp pine needle. Pop it goes! The fart inside is eager to escape, bursting into the pig’s face. Ugh! Its eyes cross and it nearly drops the needle. But it doesn’t.
The Pig has two more victims to deal with first, Mia and Claudie. And Sami is really scared for them.
“Do you think,” she asks the Fairies, “you can help my brother and sisters? They all believe in Fairies and—”
She looks up to see Freddie falling towards them.
“Oh, no!” But she needn’t worry. The three Fairies fly up and catch him and lower him towards the ground. But now here comes Mia and Claudie tumbling through the air. And there is no one to save them!
“Look!”, says Sami. The Fairies can see the problem. There isn’t time to get Freddie down and reach Mia and Claudie. Goth puts two fingers in her mouth and blows a whistle they could hear in Mongolia.
In a moment, Fairies pop out from everywhere. From under leaves and out of flowers, from beneath stones and every fairy place you can imagine. And up they fly and form a protective blanket around Mia and Claudie and bring them safely down.
“Awesome!” says Sami. And it is.
“You know who’s to blame,” says Goth. “It’s that dirty rat.”
Way above, the Rat is still hanging on to the Pig’s tail, pondering his next move. But he doesn’t have to worry about it for long because Goth decides it for him. She flies up and punches him smack on the nose.
“Ow”, says the rat and lets go of the Pig’s tail.
Down below, Mia and the others cheer as the rat falls through a tree, bouncing off branches all the way down.
“Ow. Ow. Ow.” Eventually he hits the ground. “OW!”
He looks up to see he is facing a hoard of shimmering Fairies. What if they can all punch like that? He turns and runs like the rat he is. And the flying pig takes off back to town.
Mia looks round at the assembled Fairies. “Thank you for saving us.”
“Yes, thank you,” says Sami.
They turn and glare at Freddie and Claudie who quickly take the hint.
“Yes. Thank you, thank you,” they say.
A cool silence from the Fairies.
“You children are so rude!” says Daffodil.
“Rude?” says Mia. “We said thank you.”
“What about the rest of it?” says Bluebell.
“The rest?” says Sami.
“Where were you brought up?” says Goth. And she puts her thumbs to her ears, waggles her fingers, pokes out her tongue and pulls a face that looks like a Baboon’s bum. “That’s a proper thank you.”
Mia and the others can’t wait to try it. Thumbs go into ears, fingers are waggled, tongues poked and faces pulled.
“That’s better,” says Goth.
“Did you know,” says Sami. “You are the first Fairies we’ve ever seen.”
“What about the Fairies in your garden at home?” says Daffodil.
“We haven’t got Fairies in our Garden,” says Freddie.
“Just because you haven’t see them”, says Daffodil, “doesn’t mean they’re not there.
“Just like a fairy’s fart,” says Goth.
Daffodil gets them back to the subject.
“There’ll be Fairies in your garden,” says Daffodil.
“Indeed there will,” says Bluebell.
“We’re just good at making ourselves invisible,” says Goth.
“But I can see you,” says Claudie. And the Fairies disappear. Just to make a point.
“Oh, Claudie, what have you done?” says Sami. “I wanted them to show me how to fly!”
Daffodil, Bluebell and Goth reappear.
“You need three things to be able to fly,” says Daffodil. “You need to believe you can do it.”
“I believe I can,” says Sami.
“You need fairy wings,” says Bluebell,
“I’ve got fairy wings,” says Sami. “But when I put them on and jump off the settee, I just crash to the floor.”
“And you need to be a fairy,” says Goth.
Sami looks miserable. “You mean I’ll never be able to fly?”
“Not unless Dad buys you a ticket,” says Mia. She turns back to the Fairies. “What about wands? Have you got magic wands?”
In answer, wands appeared in the Fairies’ hands – magically.
“Great,” says Mia. And she explains how they need to go to the Giant’s cave and find Dad’s chair so they can get home. And as fast as possible. Because their parents must be worried about where they are.
“So can you magic us up to the top of the mountain, please?” says Mia.
“We can magic you right inside the giant’s cave,” says Daffodil.
“But it wouldn’t do you any good,” says Bluebell.
“In fairy stories you go on the journey to learn stuff,” says Goth. “And what are you going to learn if we make it easy? Nothing”.
“What stuff are we going to learn,” says Mia.
“You’ll know it when you learn it,” says Daffodil. “Just head up that path.”
The three Fairies give the Dumdumland farewell: “Hullo!” – and disappear.
Mia and the others can hear the Giant banging about in the distance, making a terrible din. Maybe he is looking for some more brains to slurp up. Not theirs they hope. But they can’t be too careful, so not feeling as brave as they pretend, they skip along the path singing: “We’re so dumb, we’re so dumb, We’re so dumb, dumb, dumb. From the top of our head to our bum, bum, bum.”
They haven’t gone far when they come upon a signpost. It says: “Beware of the Brontosaurus”.
“Oh Em Gee,” says Mia.
&nb
sp; CHAPTER NINE: Beware of Dinosaurs