I See You

“How long do you think my mom will last before she says something about you being at a family dinner?” Jentry asked in a teasing tone as we sat there staring at the hospital that evening.

  I tightened my grip on the dish holding the precious dessert, and turned my head enough to attempt a glare in his direction, but my mouth kept twitching up into a smile at the reminder of Linda’s not-so-subtle hints that I’d intruded on family time last month at the beach. Funny that I would miss that Linda, the one who ignored me the majority of the time because she’d heard me screaming her son’s name in pleasure. But I did. I would give anything to have that Linda back rather than the one I’d faced the past weeks.

  I took in a calming breath and held it for a few seconds before releasing it, and eyed the entrance to the hospital warily. We’d been having family dinner at the hospital the last three Sundays so that we could eat near Declan—all part of Linda refusing to believe that there was anything wrong with him—and were there again.

  Family dinners without Declan had been difficult to get through, made worse by the unwelcome feeling that radiated from his mother, but tonight’s left a particularly anxious feeling in my stomach. Linda was setting me up to fail. I knew she was, and I knew I should avoid anything that would give her an opportunity to tear me down, but for some ridiculous reason I had played her game once again.

  Some stupid, irrational part of my mind still craved her approval, I guessed.

  Jentry and I had still been sitting in Declan’s room that afternoon when Linda had texted me. She’d informed me that she expected me to redeem myself from my first “disastrous attempt” at making her white chocolate bread pudding, and Jentry had watched as dread and panic settled over my features once Linda’s words had sunken in.

  We had left my car in the hospital parking lot, and Jentry had driven me to the grocery store since my poor attempt at hiding my panic had him on edge, and he refused to let me out of his sight while he tried to figure out what was wrong.

  But I’d remained tight-lipped, too nervous to do much more than make sure that this dessert was perfection in a casserole dish

  He’d put it together that whatever was wrong had to do with Linda, but I hadn’t told him about what had happened at last week’s family dinner with that same dessert. It felt wrong to bring Jentry into what was going on between Linda and me. I knew he would try to put a stop to it, knew he would get in the middle of it, and I couldn’t do that to him.

  Another calming breath, and I reached for the handle on the door. “Okay, let’s go.”

  We walked into the hospital and down the halls toward the kitchen area, where we’d been setting up family dinners the last few weeks. Technically it was for staff only, but Linda usually got her way, and seeing as how she made enough for the staff to eat as well, they had always been willing to let us use it.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to carry that?”

  I pulled the dish closer to my body, and Jentry’s husky laugh rumbled from his chest.

  “Sorry I asked.”

  Kurt rounded the corner not far from us, and after a quick word, Jentry turned back around with him to go grab food out of the car.

  My eyes darted around the kitchen area when I finally got there, and I bit back a curse when I realized Declan’s sisters weren’t there yet. With one last deep breath, I forced a smile on my face and said, “Hi, Linda!”

  Linda looked over her shoulder from where she was setting up a stack of plates and silverware, and like I had just done, her eyes darted around the kitchen area. When she realized I was alone, she let out a huff. Her tone was curt. “Rorie.”

  I allowed my smile to falter for a second when she turned back around. “Uh, where would you like the dessert?”

  “Good God, child, did you actually try again?” she drawled. “Well, bless your sweet little heart; at least no one can say that you give up easily. Should I give it another taste test, or just throw it in the trash now?”

  “Why don’t you tell me, and I’ll save you the trouble?” I murmured back.

  She turned fully this time to face me, her eyes wide and unblinking. “Excuse—what did you . . . ? How dare you speak to me that way. After everything I’ve done for you. After everything you’ve done to this family!”

  I ground my teeth at the reminder.

  Linda’s eyes darted over my body, and she flicked her hand at me, almost as if she were shooing me away. “And what on God’s earth are you wearing? There is no hope for you, Rorie Wilde. None. I’ve told you time and time again, in order to keep a man happy you need to be able to be the wife that God intended us, as women, to be. Wives need to know how to cook, clean, and raise the kids. And we need to take care of ourselves while doing it. You can’t seem to manage taking care of yourself without all the rest of it added on.”

  She stepped quickly up to me and yanked the dessert from my hands, and though I was expecting her to either dig through it or toss it in the trash, she set it roughly on the counter and walked slowly back toward me.

  I held her stare and waited, because I knew she wasn’t done, and I knew she needed this. But as my body shook from the rage that had been building over the past three weeks, I had a feeling that I needed this, too. She could give me whatever she wanted, because I was ready to give it back. Because for the first time, it was just Linda and me. There was no one else in there to get roped into our feud or try to stop it.

  She gave me a well-practiced sympathetic look, and her voice dropped. “You are just letting yourself go. I swear, every time I see you, you are getting pudgier and pudgier. Honey, my sweet boy ain’t gonna want a wife who doesn’t love herself enough to take care of her own body. And what’s to keep his eye from going back to Madeline? She’s Miss North Carolina, you know.”

  A humorless laugh trickled up my throat at the memory of Madeline’s tiara from the day before. “Hard to forget.”

  Linda looked pointedly at my stomach for long seconds, clicking her tongue over and over again as she did, pretending as if I hadn’t spoken. “I don’t know how many times I can say it, but you need to do something,” she finally said, then murmured, “I would say you shoulda worn a dress that maybe could have hid your stomach, but then you would have just looked like a confused little boy.”

  I had the strongest urge to suck in my stomach, but fought it. I knew there was nothing to suck in. I knew, once again, she was just doing this to be hateful and drive me crazy. My mind flashed back to the way Linda’s words had made me feel so insecure when I’d seen Jessica the day before, and anger simmered in my veins.

  I opened my mouth, but Linda spoke before I could.

  “Honey, you’re just fat, and we need to fix it!”

  “What did you say?” Jentry said in low, terrifying tone from somewhere behind me.

  The edge in his voice was enough to make Linda and me stiffen for a few seconds before Linda’s head snapped up and she turned on her mom charm. “Oh, you know how ladies are, always standing around gossipin’. Go on now, son, just put the food anywhere.”

  He set the large dishes down on the counter closest to the door, then took slow steps toward us. “What the fuck did you just say,” he demanded again; this time it was no longer a question.

  “Jentry, don’t,” I pleaded as he neared us.

  “Young man!” Linda said in a horrified tone. “I am so very disappointed in what has come out of your mouth this weekend. I raised yo—”

  “Raised me better? Is that what you were going to say?” Jentry huffed as he took the last few steps to place himself between us.

  “Really, don’t,” I said through clenched teeth, and rocked forward so I could reach for his arm to pull him away, but he held a hand out behind him to stop me.

  When he continued speaking, his dangerous tone was laced with disappointment. “In a few days I’ve seen more than enough from you to know that you aren’t the woman who raised me. The woman who raised me wasn’t so threatened by her son’s girlfriend that she?
??d pretend she wasn’t there. The woman who raised me wasn’t so heartless that she’d tear down the same girl every chance she got just because she was hurting. We’re all hurting. Rorie’s fucking hurting, too.”

  “She has ruined this family!” Linda seethed; her entire frame shook from her anger.

  Jentry took a step back toward me. His hand was still outstretched, but now looked like it was reaching for me. “You know, I’ve been going crazy trying to figure some things out since I got home, but I’m starting to put a lot together just from this conversation. The woman who raised me also taught me to respect women. And I do. I respect women who deserve it, and Rorie does. Because she loves Declan, too. She’s grieving, too. And throughout everything you’ve done, she’s never said a word. She wouldn’t tell me what you were doing even when I figured out that it was you, and when I did, she said it was deserved. What kind of woman makes a girl think she deserves the bullshit you’ve put her through?”

  Jentry grabbed on to my forearm and pulled me close to him as he took another step back, away from Linda, toward the door leading out of the kitchen area.

  Linda watched our movements with a mixture of emotions. There was shock and hurt at Jentry’s words, but whenever her eyes flickered back in my direction, anger unlike anything I’d yet to see from her burned there.

  Jentry turned us around and came to a halt when we found Kurt standing just inside the doorway holding two dishes, staring at us in shock and confusion.

  “Do you want to tell me why you’re talking to your mother that way?” he asked.

  Jentry’s head tilted to the side. “No.”

  “No?” Kurt’s tone was rougher and rang with authority as Jentry began leading us out of the room.

  “No,” Jentry confirmed. “Because if I tell you now, I’m gonna say a lot that I’ll regret.”

  Jentry never once released me as he hurried us down the halls of the hospital, and didn’t speak though I tried to get him to countless times.

  “Do you understand why I never wanted to tell you? I didn’t want you involved!

  “She’s your mom, Jentry! She’s angry, and she needs someone to take it out on.”

  I looked around us in surprise when we were suddenly in Declan’s room, and sucked in a sharp inhale when Jentry released me just as abruptly, causing me to stumble over myself.

  He hissed a curse and caught me. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Once I was steadied, he released me and scrubbed his hands over his face as he turned to pace in the room. His body was vibrating from his anger, and his dark eyes were filled with a deep disappointment that made me ache for him.

  “Jentry . . .”

  “You should have told me.”

  “No, I shouldn’t have. This is between Linda and me.”

  He stopped pacing and gestured toward Declan’s bed. “It doesn’t matter what happened to Declan, Aurora. What I walked in on should have never been said. What she did with Madeline yesterday should have never been done. The guest room—I already fucking figured it out. And you’d just let that go?”

  A weighted huff forced from my chest, and it felt like I deflated. “No, but what could I do? I told you, it’s deserved—”

  “It’s not,” he said through gritted teeth.

  “—I’ve known that she needed someone to be angry with. But at first, it was just . . . I don’t know, it wasn’t that bad. In the last week it’s gotten a lot worse, and in the last week I’ve had a lot more trouble holding back from saying anything to her.”

  “You shouldn’t hold back!”

  “You don’t understand!” I nearly yelled, and paused to take a few calming breaths. “Jentry, you don’t understand. Please try to grasp the fact that to me it has felt deserved, and know that every time Linda has said anything to me, there has been at least one other person with us. Holly and Lara, Madeline, Taylor . . . always someone. We’ve never been alone for more than a minute at a time. Someone always comes in. You and Kurt came in the night you moved back. She left the room when you left us in the guest room. You walked in just now. And I do not want other people to be pulled into what is going on between Linda and me. Can you understand that?”

  A muscle ticked in his jaw, and his eyes shut as he dropped his head. He rubbed at the back of his neck for a second before nodding. “Yes, but you should have made it a point to get her alone long before now. I’ve seen more than enough in just a few days, and you already went through it all as if it wasn’t new—as if it just kept adding more weight to your shoulders. And from what I heard today, what she said to you, she’s been saying to you. You should have put an end to it when it first began.”

  “It’s not that simple.” The exhaustion of the past three weeks was evident in my voice, and my body shook with the need to sit down, as if the weight of every emotion during that time had built up and was now crashing down on me. “You forget that she’s your mom . . . she’s Declan’s mom. You forget what we’re going through.”

  Jentry suddenly ate up the distance between us in long strides, and captured my face in his hands, holding me as if I were breakable.

  My breath escaped me, and my hands automatically clung to his forearms to keep myself standing.

  “I haven’t forgotten, but it doesn’t fucking excuse what she’s said,” he said.

  Hard and soft. Always.

  His piercing black eyes roamed my face and fell across my lips over and over again. Even though I knew I should pull away, even though Declan was lying just a few feet away from us, I was silently pleading with him to press his mouth to mine.

  “You are beautiful, Aurora,” Jentry said. Just like it did every time he said it, something stirred in me listening to his deep voice say my name. The way it rolled off his tongue like a caress, and each time a breath softer than the rest of his words, made me crave to hear it again. “There is no part of you that isn’t beautiful. Don’t ever let anyone make you think otherwise—especially Linda Veil. Do you understand?”

  I hesitated, then nodded slowly, still trapped in the haze that his eyes always put me in.

  “Beautiful Aurora,” he whispered, as if to himself, then slowly stepped away from me. Then, as if he was unable to stop himself, he reached back out and cupped his hand around the base of my neck. In a move too quick to stop—not that I would have tried—he pressed his mouth to my jaw, then turned and left.

  Jentry

  Though I tried to push it away, my frustration at the situation only built with each step, and by the time I stormed through the door to the kitchen area again, my entire body was vibrating with barely controlled anger.

  “Mom!” I barked when I spotted her going on as if nothing had just happened. My adopted sisters and their husbands were there now, and she was entertaining them as if it were just another night.

  “Jentry, honey!” Mom called out after a quick look behind me to make sure I’d come in alone. “Come make a plate.”

  “Are you kidding?”

  Mom dramatically held a hand to her chest and let out a low gasp, like she was offended by the few words I’d said.

  Considering it didn’t compare to what I’d said just minutes ago, I didn’t buy it.

  After Dad received a pointed look from Mom, he turned and stared me down. “Now, I don’t know what’s going on with you today, but you can’t just go running out of here, then come storming back in with that kind of attitude. You may have been gone for a long time, and things might be a little tense right now, but we are still your parents, and this is still family dinner. You will treat it as such, and treat us with respect.”

  I scoffed, and didn’t take my eyes from Mom as I replied to him, “I told her that I respect women who deserve it. Last I heard, she didn’t.”

  “I beg your pardon!” Mom drawled.

  “I can’t believe Declan let all that time pass without saying a word to you about the way you were ignoring Rorie, and I can’t believe she let you treat her the way you have been the past few weeks. Who the he
ll do you think you are trying to ruin her life when it’s already been destroyed?” I yelled, and Dad took a step toward me.

  “Watch your mouth, young man, that is your mother.”

  “Fat,” I stated with a grave laugh. “Mom’s been making Rorie think she’s fat. A girl who could stand to gain weight. She tried to make her think that Dec would go running back to Madeline—fucking Madeline of all people—because Rorie was letting herself go.” I turned my glare at Mom again. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

  For once, Dad didn’t have anything to say to me. He just turned to look at Mom with a questioning look.

  She looked horrified—no, worse; she looked like I was hurting her.

  “Mom took all the stuff out of Rorie’s guest room so that it was completely bare when I moved home, and then the next morning brought it all back and acted as if she had bought it. And that’s only what I’ve figured out in the days that I’ve been home. But I know that this shit has been going on since Dec’s accident.”

  “Language, Jentry,” Dad said in warning, then asked softly, “Linda, is this true?”

  Mom instantly burst into tears. After a few loud sobs, she calmed enough to ask me, “How can’t you see it? How can’t you see what that girl is doing to our family? First Declan, and now you? I’m losing my boys because of that trash!”

  “You didn’t fucking lose Declan because of her. It was an accident! But you will lose me if you keep treating her the way you have been. Rorie is the— God, Mom she has the best heart, and you’re treating her like she’s evil!”

  She threw her hands out and gestured around. “Look at what she’s done to us! She is! All I’ve ever done is try to be there for her, to help her, and she goes off spreading these wild tales to turn what remains of my family against me.”

  “She hasn’t said shit, and that’s why you’ve gotten away with it until now!”

  “Jentry,” Dad said in a sharp tone, but Holly spoke up.

  “Mom, you weren’t nice to her at the family dinner last week. We were all there; we heard and saw everything. You continued to criticize and tear her down, then dumped her entire dessert in the trash.”