I See You

  I stretched out my arms as I climbed off the bed, and had just started pulling off my shirt to join Jentry when I heard a noise from outside the bedroom, and wondered if that was what had woken me.

  I pulled my shirt back on as I ran through the apartment to the front door, and didn’t take the time to look out the peephole before opening it.

  “Linda,” I said in surprise, and after a short pause, opened the door wider to let her in. “Hi.” I glanced around the entryway quickly, even though I knew I wouldn’t find any boxes there. “Um, we finished packing up Declan’s things this morning. Everything’s in Jentry’s car; we were going to bring it by later.”

  She didn’t speak or look at me as she entered the apartment, just walked slowly toward the living room until she got to the first couch. Instead of sitting on it, she turned to face me, and my initial surprise at her arrival multiplied when I found her eyes filled with tears.

  “Are you— Did something happen?”

  A shuddering breath left her before she could cover her mouth with her hand, and a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

  “Lin—” I cut off abruptly when her arms suddenly engulfed me in a hug.

  It was the first time Linda had willingly touched me, and it was the first time she had hugged me. For a moment, I stood there frozen before my arms slowly wrapped around her back as she cried on my shoulder.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but this is scaring me more than any other meeting with you has,” I said softly, and felt her laugh between her sobs.

  “Mom?”

  Linda quickly moved away from me and turned so her back was to Jentry, and set about wiping at her cheeks.

  “Mom, what’s wrong?” Jentry asked, his tone full of alarm now.

  I sent him a meaningful look as he approached and shook my head slowly, and was glad to see that he had put clothes on even though his skin was still dripping with water.

  “She okay?” he mouthed.

  I shrugged, because I honestly didn’t know, and whispered, “Can you give us a sec?”

  He looked from me to Linda, then reached out to graze the tips of his fingers along my hip before walking away.

  Once he was gone, I asked warily, “Can I get you some sweet tea?”

  Linda’s shoulders bounced with her amused huff when she turned back around. “Please, yes, this old girl could use a glass or two.”

  Her response shocked me so much that for a few moments, I just stood there watching her to see if she would start laughing condescendingly. When she didn’t, I backed away slowly, then turned and hurried into the kitchen to get a glass and fill it with the tea I had made earlier that morning.

  Linda was sitting on the couch when I returned, and before she even took a sip, she studied the glass and sighed.

  I held my breath.

  “You know, it has bothered me from that first day you moved in here.” She lifted the glass, as if to show me what she was talking about, then took a long drink. “Anyone can make sweet tea, but few people can make it right. And Kurt’s mother . . .” Linda trailed off and tsked. “Rorie, she made it right. She taught me how to make it just right, and I taught my kids.”

  “And Declan taught me,” I added quietly, and then smiled at the memory. “We’d been visiting my parents one weekend during the school year. Turns out I added too much water and not enough sugar; I couldn’t believe he could make it better. But he did.”

  Linda nodded. “I knew that recipe from the first sip, and it scared the hell out of me. Everything you did scared me. Not to mention that I was not okay with what I had heard.”

  My cheeks burned with embarrassment.

  “You know, Declan hadn’t brought Madeline over to meet us until they’d been dating for two years, but he wanted us to meet you right away. I knew . . . a mother always knows.” She sighed heavily, then said, “Yes. To everything you said and asked yesterday. Yes.”

  I blinked slowly as I tried to think back to what I had said, but could only remember yelling at her. “Linda, I don’t—I don’t remember what I said. I was mad, and I—”

  “I’m scared of you because you love my sons. I was scared that you would take Declan from me, and I’m scared that Jentry has already chosen you over us. It’s easier to want Madeline because she’s superficial and I know she would never last in this family. She was never a threat, but you always have been.” She set the glass shakily down on the coffee table and covered her mouth with her trembling hand when her eyes filled with tears again. “I wanted to hate you and blame you for letting Declan drive away after you two had fought . . . for letting him get in the accident. But I knew that’s all it was, an accident. And you were always there. Always willing to do whatever anyone needed you to. So it was easier to hate you for being there at all. To hate you for still loving and caring for Declan while he slept. Taking care of him is supposed to be my job, and I hated you for the fact that I knew he was okay as long as you were there. There was just so much hate and pain building up inside of me for those weeks and it felt like I was drowning.”

  I reached out for Linda’s free hand when a soft cry escaped her chest, but remained silent, knowing she wasn’t done and just needed time.

  “You were right, Rorie. I was hurting so much that I needed to make someone else hurt. I needed you to hurt with me. And as much hatred was inside me, as much as I wanted you—this threat—gone from my family, I couldn’t seem to stay away from you. I needed to see you just to know you were still there. But then the vicious cycle would begin all over again, because there you would be, ready for whatever I needed, and I would hate you for it and need to see you hurt. Need to see you show the pain that was suffocating me. I’ve never been more ashamed of my actions than I am of the way I have treated you the past weeks. I could say that I am sorry and apologize a thousand times, and it would never make up for the things I have done or said. But I am sorry, and I need you to know that nothing has ever been true. Everything has been a cruel attempt to make you leave.”

  I nodded and smiled sadly as her words from the past month flew through my mind too quickly for me to focus on any specific insult.

  “I am sorry, Rorie,” she said, her voice shaking. “Or . . . Aurora?”

  “Rorie. No one calls me—well . . . just Rorie.”

  Linda nodded. “I’m sorry.”

  “I know you are,” I said, “and I know you were hurting. It’s funny listening to you explain everything from your side because all I wanted was for you to show some of the pain that I was feeling. The way you acted like Declan would walk through the door at any second drove me crazy, and I just wanted you to acknowledge what was happening and show that it was hurting you the way it was me. But I guess we all get through difficult times in our own ways. We do what we have to in order to survive when it feels like we won’t.”

  “Right,” she agreed softly. “This situation the three of you are in now.”

  “I didn’t want it to happen like this.”

  She nodded slowly, then shrugged. “Life doesn’t always happen the way we want it to. Just do what you can to keep my boys close. And please, don’t take Jentry from me. I may not have given him life, but he is my son.”

  “I’m still here. Jentry’s still here. We aren’t going anywhere. He loves you and he loves Declan; and from what Dec said yesterday, there’s nothing that’s going to keep them apart.”

  Linda gave me a watery smile, and reached out to brush some of my hair away from my face, then cradled my cheek with her hand. “Thank you, Rorie.”

  I stood when she did and followed her to the door, and after another brief hesitation, accepted my second hug from her.

  “Linda?” I called out as she walked out of the apartment, and waited for her to look back. “I forgive you, you know . . . for all of it.”

  Her steps halted and her eyes widened as my words sank in. “If I got to view you as a threat for the rest of my life, I would consider myself a very lucky woman.”

&nbs
p; I wasn’t surprised to find Jentry leaning against the entryway wall when I shut the door and turned. “What just happened?” I asked as I walked toward him and fell into his arms.

  “I think you just met my mom.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and scrunched my nose. “I meant the way she sort of told me she would be happy with me being in the family, but I should have known you’d listen to the whole thing.” I looked up at him in awe, and couldn’t stop the smile that formed on my face. “That was incredible. So that’s Linda?”

  Jentry dipped his head in acknowledgment. “What do you think about everything she said?”

  I thought for a few seconds before saying, “It made sense. When she said it, I could see it even though I could vividly remember how miserable she made me. But I think things will be better for us now. I think having a better relationship with her will make what’s going on with Declan a little easier. One tough situation at a time?”

  He made an affirmative grunt, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile as he pulled me tighter against him. “But until the next situation, I still have a year to make up for.”

  “Do you?” I asked breathlessly when he dropped his head to trail the bridge of his nose across my neck.

  Another grunt sounded deep in his chest.

  “Are you sure you want to—” My question ended as a soft moan when he bit down on the base of my throat.

  “Aurora,” his rough voice rumbled against my skin. “Yeah.”

  Epilogue

  Two Years Later

  Jentry

  “Yeah. Mom, we’re gonna be there,” I said, trying to talk over her. “I got held up on a call for a little bit, but I just got home and changed.”

  Mom tsked at me. “I have got to get that girl fed, Jentry.”

  I laughed softly. “We’ll only be thirty minutes late. She’ll eat. And I’m sure she’s kept herself fed today with all the food that’s in the house.”

  “All right now. See you in a bit.”

  I ended the call and walked back through the house to find Aurora, and smiled to myself when I smelled the white chocolate bread pudding she’d made for the family dinner that night. I didn’t know why Mom worried. If Aurora got hungry enough, she would’ve just eaten that.

  “You ready to go?” I called out as I walked down the hall. The smile that began when I saw her standing in the living room fell when I noticed her rigid stance and blank stare.

  Her arms were folded protectively across her swollen, six-month-pregnant stomach as she stared straight ahead at the couch.

  “Aurora, what—” I cut off abruptly, and faltered for only a second before I continued walking to place myself between my wife and my twin sister. “Jess.”

  “Officer Michaels,” she murmured teasingly, then held her hands up. “No need to arrest me today.”

  “She was just sitting on the couch when I came back out here,” Aurora said from behind me.

  Jessica sighed. “Okay, well there is that. But it’s a hard habit to break, and I didn’t think she would let me in.”

  “She is standing right behind me, and has reason not to let you in here,” I said tightly.

  Her eyes slowly moved down to look past me; pain flitted across her face. “You didn’t tell me you guys were going to have a baby last time I saw you.”

  “Last time I saw you I’d just arrested you for prostitution. It wasn’t one of our best moments—and not the time to talk to you about what’s going on in Aurora’s and my life.”

  Eyes identical to my own darted away. “Yeah, maybe not.”

  Silence engulfed the room as Aurora and I stood there watching Jessica, waiting for whatever would happen this time. In the two years since Aurora and I had been together, we’d only seen Jess a handful of times. I saw her more often now that I was a police officer and she was still doing things I hated in order to pay for our mother’s drugs. Even then, I hadn’t seen a trace of her in two months, and I’d had no idea that she knew about this house.

  Then again, Jessica could find out anything she wanted to.

  I finally sighed, and said, “I don’t know why you’re here or how you found us, but coming in like this isn’t okay. Coming here at all isn’t okay. You can call me if you need something, because I know you still have my number, but I can’t have you bringing your life into our home anymore. Not now that we’re going to have a baby. Jess, you know when you can come back, but for now you have to go.”

  Instead of moving or laughing, or doing any number of the things that I would have expected her to, she stayed still. “That’s . . . that’s kind of why I’m here.”

  I studied her for a few seconds, but her solemn expression never changed. “Why now? What happened?”

  Her eyes drifted to Aurora, who had moved a step to the side to be able to look at Jessica, and a soft smile touched Jess’s face. “Just . . . things that I never understood before.” She nodded absentmindedly, and her eyes got a faraway look. “Still trying to understand them completely, but I’m getting there. And I know you aren’t sure if you should believe me, and have somewhere to be,” she said with a sigh as she stood.

  “Jess,” I said quickly to stop her from leaving. “If you’re serious, then stay and we’ll stay. We don’t have to leave.”

  She waved a hand between us and said, “This can be enough for now, because just saying that felt big, and I don’t think either of us is ready for more. I have a lot to say . . . I think, and I know I have a lot to apologize for. And I know how to let myself in, so you can’t really keep me out.” She smiled with her reminder. “I’m ready, Jent. I’ll be back.”

  “Do you think she’s being serious?” Aurora asked after I’d shut the door behind Jessica. “I mean, there wasn’t any laughing or taunting or . . . anything.”

  “I know,” I mumbled, and tried to push down the hope that had started building. “I won’t know until the next time I see her. She can play any kind of role she wants to, but she can’t hold on to it for long. I’ll ask around, see if she’s been buying for our mother, or if she’s been on the streets. If she hasn’t, then we’ll see what she has to say the next time she shows up.”

  Aurora nodded and blew out a harsh breath. “I just hope she knocks next time.”

  I bent down to pass my mouth across hers and said, “You should have yelled, at the very least. The fact that you just stood there when you found someone as crazy as Jess in our living room scares the shit out of me. Next time you see her, whether she knocks or not, make sure you put more distance between the two of you, and that I’m somewhere within that distance.” After another kiss, I straightened and turned to go collect the dessert Aurora had made.

  By the time we made it to my parents’ house, we were forty-five minutes late, and Mom had called again during our drive over there to make sure we were still coming, and that Aurora was okay and not starving.

  In the last couple of years, they’d grown so close that I was sure Mom thought Aurora had been the one she’d adopted into the family instead of me. And ever since Aurora had found out she was pregnant, Mom had tried to attach herself to Aurora’s side.

  It had been a long pregnancy already . . .

  I planned on changing the locks soon just so I could have a few days with my wife in peace.

  We had barely set foot inside before Aurora was pulled away from me and ushered to a chair in the dining room.

  “I’ll get a plate for you. How’s my grandbaby today?” Mom asked as soon as she had Aurora seated.

  “He’s kicking away,” Aurora said softly, and placed a hand low on her stomach as her face lit up.

  “Oh, sweet girl, you both must be just starving. Can’t believe my son made y’all late for family dinner.” She sent me a glare at that, but kissed my cheek on her way to the kitchen.

  Declan rounded the corner into the dining room and placed a swift kiss on top of Aurora’s head on his way over to me. “Man, that is a big baby belly,” he said with a smile
. “Sure there aren’t five or six of them in there?”

  I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t contain my smile when I looked over at Aurora.

  She’d turned in her seat to watch us, and her smile was breathtaking and contagious. “Right?” she said with exasperation that didn’t match her excited expression. “It just popped out this week out of nowhere.”

  “You look like you’re about to pop,” Declan corrected.

  Her eyes narrowed playfully, but then her shoulders sagged. “I feel like a whale.”

  “Aurora . . .” I shook my head slowly, but knew there was no point in arguing. I’d found that out quickly over the last few months. If only she could’ve seen what I was looking at.

  She’d said something to that effect every day that week, ever since her stomach had gone from slightly rounding to looking like she was about to give birth to twins at any moment. Her feet may have disappeared from her view suddenly, but in that time? God . . .

  My wife was always beautiful, but that glow they talk about with pregnant women? Yeah, that had shown up over the last week, along with her huge stomach, making it nearly impossible to stop looking at her.

  Declan sucked in air through his teeth. “I wasn’t gonna say anything.”

  I smacked his shoulder, but he was already laughing.

  “You look gorgeous, Ror. I promise.”

  “I hate you,” she said flatly.

  He held a hand to his chest, then held it out toward her. “You don’t have to lie just because Jentry’s standing here.”

  Her tone didn’t change. “No, I kind of hate you right now.”

  “Wait until someone feeds you, then decide if you hate me or not.”

  At that moment, Mom came rushing in with a plate for Aurora. “Everyone will be in here in a minute. Don’t bother waiting.” She snapped at us as she went walking away. “Boys, you are grown; come get your plates.”

  Aurora took a big bite of food and kept her eyes on Declan as she chewed. With a shrug, she said, “Still hate you.”