Mr. Sponge's Sporting Tour

  CHAPTER X

  THE FEELER

  Bag fox-hunts, be they ever so good, are but unsatisfactory things; dragruns are, beyond all measure, unsatisfactory. After the best-managed bagfox-hunt, there is always a sort of suppressed joy, a deadly liveliness inthe field. Those in the secret are afraid of praising it too much, lest thesecret should ooze out, and strangers suppose that all their great runs arewith bag foxes, while the mere retaking of an animal that one has had inhand before is not calculated to arouse any very pleasurable emotions.Nobody ever goes frantic at seeing an old donkey of a deer handed back intohis carriage after a canter.

  Our friends on this occasion soon exhausted what they had to say on thesubject.

  'That's a nice horse of yours,' observed Mr. Waffles to Mr. Sponge, as thelatter, on the strength of the musty brush, now rode alongside the masterof the hounds.

  'I think he is,' replied Sponge, rubbing some of the now dried sweat fromhis shoulder and neck; 'I think he is; I like him a good deal better to-daythan I did the first time I rode him.'

  'What, he's a new one, is he?' asked Mr. Waffles, taking a scented cigarfrom his mouth, and giving a steady sidelong stare at the horse.

  'Bought him in Leicestershire,' replied Sponge. 'He belonged to LordBullfrog, who didn't think him exactly up to his weight.'

  'Up to his weight!' exclaimed Mr. Caingey Thornton, who had now ridden upon the other side of his great patron, 'why, he must be another DanielLambert.'

  'Rather so,' replied Mr. Sponge; 'rides nineteen stun.'

  'What a monster!' exclaimed Thornton, who was of the pocket order.

  'I thought he didn't go fast enough at his fences the first time I rodehim,' observed Mr. Sponge, drawing the curb slightly so as to show thehorse's fine arched neck to advantage; 'but he went quick enough to-day, inall conscience,' added he.

  'He did _that_,' observed Mr. Thornton, now bent on a toadying match. 'Inever saw a finer lepper.'

  'He flew many feet beyond the brook,' observed Mr. Spareneck, who, thinkingdiscretion was the better part of valour, had pulled up on seeing hiscomrade Thornton blobbing about in the middle of it, and therefore wasqualified to speak to the fact.

  So they went on talking about the horse, and his points, and his speed, andhis action, very likely as much for want of something to say, or to keepoff the subject of the run, as from any real admiration of the animal.

  The true way to make a man take a fancy to a horse is to make believe thatyou don't want to sell him--at all events, that you are easy about selling.Mr. Sponge had played this game so very often, that it came quite naturalto him. He knew exactly how far to go, and having expressed his previousobjection to the horse, he now most handsomely made the _amende honorable_by patting him on the neck, and declaring that he really thought he shouldkeep him.

  It is said that every man has his weak or 'do-able' point, if the sharpones can but discover it. This observation does not refer, we believe, tomen with an innocent _penchant_ for play, or the turf, or for buyingpictures, or for collecting china, or for driving coaches and four, all ofwhich tastes proclaim themselves sooner or later, but means that the mostknowing, the most cautious, and the most careful, are all to be come over,somehow or another.

  There are few things more surprising in this remarkable world than themagnificent way people talk about money, or the meannesses they will resortto in order to get a little. We hear fellows flashing and talking inhundreds and thousands, who will do almost anything for a five-pound note.We have known men pretending to hunt countries at their own expense, andyet actually 'living out of the hounds.' Next to the accomplishment ofthat--apparently almost impossible feat--comes the dexterity required forliving by horse-dealing.

  A little lower down in the scale comes the income derived from theprofession of a 'go-between'--the gentleman who can buy the horse cheaperthan you can. This was Caingey Thornton's trade. He was always lurkingabout people's stables talking to grooms and worming out secrets--whosehorse had a cough, whose was a wind-sucker, whose was lame after hunting,and so on--and had a price current of every horse in the place--knew whathad been given, what the owners asked, and had a pretty good guess whatthey would take.

  Waffles would have been an invaluable customer to Thornton if the former'sgroom, Mr. Figg, had not been rather too hard with his 'reg'lars.' Heinsisted on Caingey dividing whatever he got out of his master with him.This reduced profits considerably; but still, as it was a profession thatdid not require any capital to set up with, Thornton could afford to beliberal, having only to tack on to one end to cut off at the other.

  After the opening Sponge gave as they rode home with the hounds, Thorntonhad no difficulty in sounding him on the subject.

  'You'll not think me impertinent, I hope,' observed Caingey, in his mostdeferential style, to our hero when they met at the News'-room the nextday--'you'll not think me impertinent, I hope; but I think you said as werode home, yesterday, that you didn't altogether like the brown horse youwere on?'

  '_Did I?_' replied Mr. Sponge, with apparent surprise; 'I think you musthave misunderstood me.'

  'Why, no; it wasn't exactly that,' rejoined Mr. Thornton, 'but you said youliked him better than you did, I think?'

  'Ah! I believe I did say something of the sort,' replied Spongecasually--'I believe I did say something of the sort; but he carried me sowell that I thought better of him. The fact was,' continued Mr. Sponge,confidentially, 'I thought him rather too light mouthed; I like a horsethat bears more on the hand.'

  'Indeed!' observed Mr. Thornton; 'most people think a light mouth arecommendation.'

  'I know they do,' replied Mr. Sponge, 'I know they do; but I like a horsethat requires a little riding. Now this is too much of a made horse--toomuch of what I call an old man's horse, for me. Bullfrog, whom I bought himof, is very fat--eats a great deal of venison and turtle--all sorts of goodthings, in fact--and can't stand much tewing in the saddle; now, I ratherlike to feel that I am on a horse, and not in an arm-chair.'

  'He's a fine horse,' observed Mr. Thornton.

  'So he ought,' replied Mr. Sponge; 'I gave a hatful of money for him--twohundred and fifty golden sovereigns, and not a guinea back. Bullfrog's thebiggest screw I ever dealt with.'

  That latter observation was highly encouraging to Thornton. It showed thatMr. Sponge was not one of your tight-laced dons, who take offence at themere mention of 'drawbacks,' but, on the contrary, favoured the suppositionthat he would do the 'genteel,' should he happen to be a seller.

  'Well, if you should feel disposed to part with him, perhaps you will havethe kindness to let me know,' observed Mr. Thornton; adding, 'he's not formyself, of course, but I think I know a man he would suit, and who would beinclined to give a good price for him.'

  'I will,' replied Mr. Sponge; 'I will,' repeated he, adding, 'if I _were_to sell him, I wouldn't take a farthing under three 'underd for him--three'underd _guineas_, mind, _not punds_.'

  'That's a vast sum of money,' observed Mr. Thornton.

  'Not a bit on't,' replied Mr. Sponge. 'He's worth it all, and a great dealmore. Indeed, I haven't said, mind that, I'll take that for him; all I'vesaid is, that I wouldn't take less.'

  'Just so,' replied Mr. Thornton.

  'He's a horse of high character,' observed Mr. Sponge. 'Indeed he has nobusiness out of Leicestershire; and I don't know what set my fool of agroom to bring him here.'

  'Well, I'll see if I can coax my friend into giving what you say,' observedMr. Thornton.

  'Nay, never mind coaxing,' replied Mr. Sponge, with the utmostindifference; 'never mind coaxing; if he's not anxious, my name's "easy."Only mind ye, if I ride him again, and he carries me as he did yesterday, Ishall clap on another fifty. A horse of that figure can't be dear at anyprice,' added he. 'Put him in a steeple-chase, and you'd get your moneyback in ten minutes, and a bagful to boot.'

  'True,' observed Mr. Thornton, treasuring that fact up as an additionalinducement to use to his friend.

  So the amiabl
e gentlemen parted.