Confessions of an Alli Cat

  We check in and I head to my room. The hotel is amazing and my room has a gorgeous view of the ocean. I shoot a quick email from my phone to Taylor to thank her. She really does take care of me and I know she’s trying to make up for sending Alex to my house yesterday.

  At the thought, I touch my face. The swelling has gone down a remarkable amount. Seriously, you can barely tell now. My eyes look like they are a little puffy from lack of sleep, not like someone took a ball-bat to my cheekbones. It’s progress and I’ll take it.

  I drop my suitcase and look into the bathroom mirror.

  I look pretty good, actually, all things considered. I pull a brush through my hair and glide some lip balm on and then I make my way to Alex’s room, which is just down the hall.

  He opens the door and I have to suck in my breath. He’s loosened the collar of his shirt, which makes him look even sexier. Heaven help me.

  “Hey,” he greets me. “How about this view?”

  “I know,” I answer as I step inside. “If only Vegas had an ocean, right?”

  “Well, we’ve got a desert. That’s almost as good, right?” he flashes me a grin. A white, white grin. I steel my resolve. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “A water would be great,” I tell him as I take a seat at the table. He’s already got papers spread out everywhere, even though we’ve only been here for fifteen minutes. He hands me the bottle and then sits next to me.

  He smells like the outdoors…like sunshine and man. And I find myself wanting to leap into his lap and inhale him. Which would be weird. So I resist the urge and instead, I focus on the paperwork in front of us. It keeps us occupied for two hours, actually.

  And I find that once we start talking business, I am able to somehow tune out his sexiness and his amazing smell and focus on the matters at hand. We come up with a pretty spectacular co-partnership model to present in the morning, if I do say so myself.

  “We’re a good team,” Alex points out as he starts gathering the papers together. I nod.

  “Yes, we are.”

  “Are you in the mood for steak?” he asks. “Because I am.”

  I smile. “Are men always in the mood for steak?”

  He nods. “Yes.”

  “Well, in that case, far be it from me to keep you from exhibiting your man hood. If you want to beat on your chest for a second, I’ll wait patiently.”

  Alex laughs and my vagina flutters.

  He slips on his shoes and then holds open the door, a perfect gentleman. I find myself mesmerized by his movements, by everything about him, actually. I gulp. This whole working together thing is harder than I even anticipated. Why does he have to be so gorgeous? BB flutters again, her vaginal antennae on high alert. I shush her. Now is definitely not the time.

  Before I know it, we are seated in an elegant dining room, in the dark corner of a restaurant that has soft music piped in the background. I have a glass of red wine and Alex has a gin and tonic. And I am losing myself in his blue eyes.

  It doesn’t help that there is a decorative mirror on the wall next to us and when I glance at it, I can see that we look perfect together. Perfect ages, perfect differences in height and even our coloring complements each other. I turn my attention back to him. This isn’t helping.

  “So,” I begin, “What do you think of Zellers so far?”

  He temples his fingers, something that I notice he does when he is restless.

  “Zellers is a great company,” he tells me. “It’s full of talented and energetic people. Honestly, I’m impressed by everyone that I’ve met so far. And your department is the most impressive of all. You certainly know what you’re doing.”

  The compliment turns my cheeks pink.

  It’s true. I am successful and good at my job. And to have someone like him, someone who is also successful and good at his job, notice… well, it just feels good.

  “Thank you,” I murmur. “I try.”

  “You do more than try,” he answers, taking another drink. “Head-hunters from miles away have noticed you. Can you give me your word that you won’t consider leaving until you’ve talked to me about it?”

  I’m surprised now.

  “None have approached me,” I tell him honestly. “And I love Zellers. It will take an unbelievably good package to entice me to leave.”

  He smiles at me. “Great. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

  We continue chatting all through our meal and then we share a piece of chocolate cake for dessert. After he wipes his mouth and tosses his napkin onto his plate, Alex looks at me.

  “I haven’t eaten that much in a long time. Would you like to take a walk on the beach? I’d like to get some air.”

  “Of course,” I tell him, pushing back my chair. And within a minute, I find myself under the full moon, walking with this gorgeous man beside the crashing ocean.

  Not the smartest thing to do, Alli, I reprimand myself. I should be avoiding these types of situations, not creating more of them.

  But it feels so good to have my arm looped through his, to talk about intelligent topics that we both understand because we’re both in the same industry. It feels amazing to be with someone who understands me for exactly who I am… a woman who is just trying to make a new life and get ahead at work.

  He understands because he is exactly the same… my perfect male counter-part.

  I gulp. And then gulp harder.

  I could be walking with my perfect match.

  As he guides me around a big piece of driftwood, I have to acknowledge that my idea of telling him about my infatuation wasn’t that effective after all. In fact, things have only gotten worse. Knowing that he feels the same way about me makes the temptation that much harder to resist.

  “Is this as hard for you as it is for me?” Alex asks softly, as though he can read my freaking mind. I nod silently. He stops walking and stares at me. The light from the moon shines onto him and I swear to all that is holy, he looks like a freaking GQ model.

  “Yes,” I tell him. “It definitely is. And were you ever, at any time, a GQ model perchance?”

  He stares down at me and I can’t help but notice his rock hard chest, his flat abs, his chiseled features. How could Mother Nature have done this to me? She put my perfect match in my life, but made him my boss? Is she a masochist?

  Alex smiles and then tucks a tuft of my hair behind my ear.

  “No, I wasn’t,” he answers with a grin. “But I’ll take it as a compliment that you think I could have been.”

  “It might not have been a compliment,” I announce. “Models are, by nature, over-confident and cocky.”

  Alex studies me, then grins.

  “I don’t know about that,” he says. “I’ve heard that they are sometimes secretly insecure and just need approval. And that sometimes, they get intimidated by people who are better-put-together than they are.”

  I’m not sure, but I think that last part was in reference to me. I swallow hard.

  “It was a compliment,” I admit. “You’re gorgeous. And sexy as hell. And I’m struggling a little bit.”

  “I am too. But we can do this,” he says quietly. “We can work together and be completely professional. I have faith in us.”

  Us.

  I want to leap into his arms and kiss him with tongue. No lie.

  His mouth is just so tantalizing. And there is something about a powerful and important man that turns me on. BB is practically salivating, but I ignore her silent pleadings.

  “Yes,” I agree. “We can. I’m sure this infatuation will pass.”

  He looks as unsure as I feel. But we continue on our walk and to my intense pride, I don’t invite myself back to his room when we get back to the hotel. I return to my own like a responsible adult.

  We get up the next morning and totally rock our meeting.

  It goes as smoothly as any business meeting has ever gone. Plus, I managed to avoid doing anything embarrassing for once. That’s a miracle i
n itself.

  As we fly home, we chit-chat about non-important things and I am able to utterly ignore the way I want to drape myself across his lap and stick my tongue in his mouth. My tongue is still a hussy, apparently.

  When I reach my house, I find that nothing is amiss. Sara has had an uneventful evening with Sophie and in fact, even left a basket of fresh fruit on my counter.

  And, last but certainly not least, I have a date with Shade tonight. If he can’t distract me from my thoughts about Alex, nothing will.

  ********

  As I’m getting ready, I text Shade.

  I need a good distraction. Think of something kinky to do tonight.

  My fingers are almost shaking as I put my phone down, but I ignore it. I’ve got to try new things. That’s the point of all of this, right? And it’s going to take something new to drive Alex from my mind.

  How kinky? Shade texts back.

  Kinky, I answer. I’m so insane. I know that.

  Don’t worry, then. I’ve got a plan, Shade replies.

  And now my fingers shake. A plan? Good lord. But he’s a good kid and I trust him. And so I find myself looking forward to tonight as I finish getting dressed. Little black dress, black heels and my hair pulled into a sleek low-pony.

  When I walk into the room at Utopia later, though, and Shade takes off the blindfold and I see an extra man standing there, I can’t help but get a little nervous.

  I turn to Shade.

  “What exactly is your plan?”

  My fingers are shaking with abandon now and my legs are twitching. I almost want to spin on my high-heels and take off at a dead sprint for my car.

  Shade touches my elbow in a comforting way.

  “Calm down, Alli Cat,” he murmurs. “I know you trust me. I wouldn’t do anything that I know you wouldn’t like.”

  “Well, what if you don’t know that I wouldn’t like it?” I challenge.

  I eye the other man. He’s tall. Dark. Handsome. My exact type. But still.

  My heart pounds.

  “I’m not doing a threesome,” I tell Shade.

  “And I’m not either,” he answers. “You just came back from a business trip, right? And so I assume that you’re a little tense. Every woman likes a good massage. And Tyler here just happens to be a certified masseuse. I’m going to blindfold you. Tyler is going to massage you. And I’m going to do…other things to you. You’re going to feel a bunch of hands on you and even though I’ll be the only having sex with you, it won’t seem like it. It’s a safe way to get all the excitement of a threesome, without the actual threesome.”

  I eye him.

  I have to admit, I like the idea. It’s naughty. And it might be just what I need as a distraction.

  “You’re the only one who will be having sex with me?” I ask.

  Shade nods. “Of course. I’m not sharing you, Alli Cat.”

  His words comfort me. And at this moment, I realize that I’ve allowed him to become my crutch. He’s my safe comfort. I pay him to do what I want. I’m controlling the situation which means that I might be limiting my life. But I shake the troublesome thoughts away. I’ll worry about that later. Right now, I have a fake threesome to attend to.

  “Take off your clothes and put this blind-fold on,” Shade says. “Then lie on the bed.”

  Tyler smiles at me from across the room and he’s gorgeous. In all honesty, I can’t wait for him to touch me. His hands are long and sexy…just my type of hands.

  My heart pounds.

  I’m definitely going to burn in hell.

  But that doesn’t stop me from stripping off my clothes and climbing on the bed buck-ass naked before pulling on the blindfold.

  Almost immediately, Tyler is sliding hot oil on my skin and I don’t even have to worry about it staining the sheets because it isn’t my bed. And it feels amazing. He’s murmuring to me about how fit I am, how beautiful I am. He rubs my shoulders, my arms, my calves. He pays close attention to the tension in my neck and I lean into his hands.

  “Tyler, I think I love you,” I say. He laughs softly and moves down to my thighs.

  And then I feel another set of hands.

  They caress my belly before lips follow suit. Kisses are trailed across my abdomen, up to my neck and back down to my thighs. Tyler continues to rub me and pretty soon, all of the hands seem to run together, just like Shade said that that they would.

  It’s naughty.

  It’s erotic.

  It’s amazing.

  I moan a little and Shade bends to my ear.

  “Do you like it, Alli Cat?” he whispers. As he does, he slips a finger inside of me. At least, I’m pretty sure it is him. I know it is, but it is fun to tell myself that it might be Tyler.

  I nod. “Yes,” I whisper.

  It’s so unbelievably sexy and hot to know that Shade is fingering me in front of another man. I can’t even believe how turned on it makes me. And how willing I am to let him do it. It looks like there certainly is a cougar buried in me. It just took her a few years to come out.

  Shade’s tongue is lapping at my breasts, then he kisses my neck before I feel the weight of his strong body on top of mine. I grip his hips, which flex beneath my fingers.

  There is a rustle of foil, which surprises me because I can still feel Tyler rubbing me…my calves, my thighs, my hips.

  And then Shade is against me and then in me. I gasp, and buck against him. Tyler is still rubbing me, fondling me, caressing me. Hands are everywhere.

  Shade slides in…then out. In…then out. It’s excruciatingly slow, but it allows me to focus on the way Tyler is caressing me, too. It’s unbelievably erotic.

  “I’m going to hell,” I mutter into Shade’s ear.

  He laughs.

  “Well, if that’s true, then we’d better make it worth it.”

  He pulls out and flips me over, onto my hands and knees.

  As he does, there is a mouth on my breast….a mouth that can’t possibly be Shade since he is behind me. I gasp as a tongue circles my nipple, then slides it into a mouth. A faceless mouth, but a mouth that I am sure is Tyler’s.

  “Anytime you want to stop, say pineapple,” Shade reminds me.

  I nod but remain silent.

  Because I like it.

  Because I am a shameless, shameless hussy. The naughtiness of this situation is thrilling.

  One set of hands grips my hips, pulling me into his own as he slides in and out of me. Shade. The other set of hands caresses me everywhere, setting all of my nerve endings on fire. Tyler.

  Oh, lord I am a dirty, dirty woman.

  “Say my name,” Shade instructs me.

  “Shade,” I cry out as he plunges deep inside.

  “Say it louder,” he tells me. I can see only the velvet blackness of the blindfold as I do what he says.

  “Shade!” I shout. My breath is ragged, my voice is harsh.

  And it only takes me two more minutes to come because there is a set of hands down below, rubbing circles on BB, who incidentally, is crowing silently in delight. She’s a bigger hussy than I am, apparently.

  I fall limply to the bed and then pull my blindfold off.

  Tyler is lying behind me, Shade is lying in front of me. I am lying in the middle of two beautiful and young men. I feel like a painting from ancient Greece titled Woman in the middle of an orgy. The room might as well go up in flames now so that I can get used to the fires of hell. I sigh and curve into Shade’s body.

  “Well, I asked for kinky,” I say wryly.

  “And you know that we have a 100% customer satisfaction policy here at Utopia,” Shade grins, a lazy smile that makes BB perk to attention again already. Like I said, BB is a shameless hussy. “I wouldn’t want you to ask for your money back.”

  I laugh, but his words only serve to remind me once again that I am paying him. I am controlling the situation. I am closing myself to real opportunities that might exist for me out in the real world.

  Opportunities
like Alex.

  But I shut that annoying inner voice up by sitting up and smiling confidently at the two men next to me.

  “Who is up for a shower?” I ask brightly.

  Shade cocks an eyebrow. “You’re asking both of us?”

  I nod what I hope is a confident and sex-vixen-ish nod.

  “I’m just asking for a shower,” I say innocently.

  Shade grins in reply, as does Tyler.

  “I’ve rubbed off on you, Alli Cat. You’re quite the pupil.”

  I slide from the bed and grab his hands, pulling him with me to the bathroom. Tyler trails behind on his own accord, closing the bathroom door as he enters.

  “Well, a pupil is only as good as her teacher,” I purr, running my hands up and down Shade’s flat, strong chest.

  But as Tyler turns on the water in the shower and I step in with Shade, the only thing I can see is Alex’s face for a second. It’s startling and I gasp.

  “Are you alright?” Tyler asks me in concern. I nod.

  “Yes, I’m fine. The water just wasn’t warm yet.”

  But that’s a lie. The water was perfectly warm. And so are my cheeks as I realize that I’m thinking of Alex while I’m showering with two young, gorgeous men. If I had wanted to have a real threesome, which I most certainly do not, those desires would have been dashed at these unexpected thoughts of Alex.

  So, instead, I block out images of him and just enjoy being washed by two attentive men. Tyler washes my front, Shade washes my back. And they are both pressed against me, wet and slippery and hard.

  Holy Freaking Hotness.

  But we only take a shower. I meant what I said. I don’t quite feel comfortable enough with the situation to use Tyler’s “services”. Even still, it’s a very sexy situation. These guys are gorgeous and sexy and very good at their jobs. This is a memory that will forever live in infamy in my mind.

  But as Shade pats me dry with a big, fluffy towel, I find myself imagining that his hands are Alex’s hands. And I sigh a very long sigh.

  I’m seriously, definitely, most certainly in trouble.

  Chapter Nineteen

  (Or: Fate is a Twisted, Sick Wench)