Take it Deep (Take 2)

  “Ana, don’t you realize by now that there is nothing I could ever forget about you? Everything you say and do is cemented into my head. Every touch I have felt, every breath you have taken. It’s right here, and in here.”

  He points to his head and then his heart. Why is he doing this to me? I can’t take it. “Jake, I have to go and get ready for work.” I try to turn away and run before my body gives into him, but I’m yanked towards his car and pinned, his face inches away from mine. He looks deep into my eyes and places a finger on my cheek. Oh, how I’ve missed it when he did this to me. I let out a little moan and Jake smiles.

  “Have you missed me touching you, Ana? Have you missed the way I stroke your hair and kiss your neck?”

  My breathing is becoming increasingly erratic now and the familiar burn is back between my legs. He places his hand down towards my wrists and squeezes gently to check my pulse.

  “You’ve been for a run, but your pulse should be calm by now and it’s not. What’s making your heart beat so powerfully like that, Ana?”

  He’s inches away from my ear, and his breath makes me shudder. I’m so lost in the moment, and I know he’s going to kiss me soon. Am I strong enough to turn him away? I’d like to think so. Just as I’m trying to pluck up some courage he faces me and leans in. Oh God, I don’t think I have the courage to say no to him. I never did. Any thought about what he did to me is just thrown aside now, and all I can think about is how much I want his lips on mine.

  Fortunately for me, two girls walk past us giggling and it breaks me out of my trance. I take the interruption as an opportunity to break free from him and walk.

  “Ana, I haven’t finished with you yet, not by a long shot.”

  I wave my hands at him. “Goodbye, Jake, I have an appointment with Mr Brator, so I can’t be late.”

  “Mr Who?” I hear him shout, but I’m long gone by the time he answers, and I’m laughing so hard now it hurts.

  Chapter 11

  I get in the door and find Michael up, dressed and eating breakfast. Guilt washes over me as I grab myself a juice from the fridge. “Sorry, I’m not being much of a host am I? I just really needed a run this morning.”

  He smiles, “Do you feel better for it?”

  I nod my head, “Yes, much better, thanks. Are you okay, do you need anything?”

  He shakes his head and hands me some toast. “I’m good thanks, found what I needed and helped myself. Do you have Jessie back with you tonight?”

  “Yes, I believe Jerry’s taking her to work this morning and she’ll be coming back with me later. Thank you again for last night. You didn’t need to stay, but it was thoughtful.” He looked sad and I couldn’t help feeling the guilt ripping at my insides. I really don’t want to hurt Michael. He is such a kind-hearted man.

  “It was my pleasure, Ana. I didn’t think it was a good idea to go running by yourself this morning though. You could have asked me, I would have gone with you.”

  The thought just sent my insides out. Jake was there when I came home. I would dread to think what would have happened if Jake had seen me out running with Michael so early in the morning. He would have put two and two together and quite rightly came up with four. It would have been the wrong kind of four nonetheless, but still, it wouldn’t have gone down too well.

  “It was okay; I had a running partner in the end so he kept me company.”

  Michael frowns, “Running partner?”

  That’s two men I have to explain myself to this morning. “His name is Brian, he’s a neighbor downstairs, and last time I checked he had a boyfriend so he’s completely harmless.” He smiles and carries on eating his toast, and the thought of a shower is now screaming in my head. “I’m going to go and get ready for work. Thanks for the toast Michael.”

  I had my shower and it was a bit longer than normal considering I still felt Jake on me from earlier. I had to relieve myself, there was no other way. It wasn’t the same as when Jake makes me come, but it had to do under the circumstances. I went through the motions getting dressed and ready, and came out to find Michael sitting on the sofa waiting patiently for me.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  I nod, “Yes, are you okay for getting to work this morning?”

  “I’m not at work today. I have a rest day, so I’ll be making my way home.”

  I come up to him and give him a hug. He stiffens a little making me feel terrible for making him be this way, but he relaxes and hugs me back.

  “I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you being here for me, and I’m sorry I haven’t been a better friend to you.”

  Michael pulls away and looks at me. He can see I’m upset and his face softens into a smile.

  “Ana, please don’t blame yourself for what happened. I know exactly what you’re referring to and its fine. Please believe me. I want to forget it as much as you do and just move on. I don’t want it to ruin the friendship we have, okay?”

  I nod my head feeling a little better.

  “Besides, you’re a crap kisser and hated the way you grabbed at me, it was awful.”

  He starts laughing and I can’t help but join in with him. “You’re too much; do you know that, Michael Miller?”

  “Yes I do, but where would the fun be if I wasn’t?”

  He winks at me, all awkwardness gone, and we make our way to the door to leave.

  Michael goes back home and I quickly get to the office where there is an eagerly awaiting Jessie perched on her chair. “Good morning, Miss Lindsay, how are we today? Freshly—”

  “Yes,” she interrupted, “And I have some good news on the night out front.”

  I place my bag by my desk and sit down to listen. “Oh, please do tell?” She looks really excited and it makes me wonder what she has up her sleeve.

  “Well, when I was at Jerry’s house I told him about our proposed night out. He told me that he has this rich client and one of the hotels that he runs has a hall he hires out, normally for Batchelor and Bachelorette parties. Apparently it has poles there for dancing. I thought we could stay there the night, so we didn’t have to worry about getting home. It’s in Fredericksburg so about an hour away. That’s a bit too far to be getting home late from there. What do you think? I’ll tell the guys and we can all chip in. Jerry says he knows the owner very well, so we should be able to get a good discount.”

  It seems as though Jessie has thought of it all. Could be fun and I would like to have a night away from it all. It sounds as though it would be a nice little break.

  “Sounds great, how much are we talking here?”

  She shakes her head, “You’re not chipping in, it’s your birthday bash. That wouldn’t be right now would it?”

  I’m about to argue when Jake turns up at our desks.

  “Who’s, Mr Brator?”

  Jessie nearly fell off her chair laughing and Jake just looked highly confused. “It was a joke, nothing to worry about.” Jake was now looking from me to Jessie, who was still laughing her head off.

  “I’m obviously missing something here.”

  “Just think about it, Jake,” Jessie said. He shakes his head, still confused, but heads back to his office smiling.

  “That was so funny, what on earth did you say to him to make him come out with that?”

  I told her about what happened this morning and she found it highly entertaining.

  “You’re going to have to give in to him at some point. I know you’re just dying to.”

  I’m about to say something back, but my office phone interrupted me.

  “Ana Sinclair,” I say into the phone. I wait for a couple of seconds for the other person to speak and I’m about to put the phone down when I hear his voice.

  “Ana, it’s so nice to hear that voice. I missed it. Have you missed me at all?”

  The asshole doesn’t give up and go away.

  “What do you want?” I say it with such venom in my voice that it makes Jessie spin her head to me.
br />   “I must say, that’s not the nicest of welcomes for your stepfather, is it, Ana? You always were a little tease. Did you not like the birthday card I sent?”

  I will myself to speak and not let the fear take over. I won’t let him see how frightened I am. “What do you want?” I say again.

  “I want what I never had, Ana. You ran away from me last time and I want to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I see it looks like you have a boyfriend. I saw you two together this morning and I didn’t like it. I’m not thrilled that someone else was up there before me. I wanted to be the first. You took that away from me and I’m not sure I can forgive you for that. That Tony was a little pussy; he never got between your legs did he, Ana? I read the story and I must admit it excited me a little, especially when I saw your picture. It doesn’t do you justice though, you look much better in the flesh. You’re wearing a nice figure hugging skirt today. It suits you.”

  I slam the phone down not wanting to hear another word. Soon my stomach is churning and I have to run for the toilet. I just about make it in time to empty my breakfast from this morning.

  I kneel by the toilet for a while trying to calm my breathing. Sometimes it feels as though all the oxygen in the room has been sucked out and it leaves me gasping for air. It’s the most horrible sensation and I hate Alan for making me feel that way.

  I hear a timid knock on the door and I get up to unlock it.

  “Ana, babes, come here,” Jessie says.

  I go over to her and we stay there a few moments while she strokes my hair. She pulls me out from her embrace and looks at me.

  “Can you tell me who that was?”

  I begin telling her about what happened last night and what Alan said over the phone just now. She wasn’t happy.

  “You should have called me; I would have come straight home.”

  “I know, Jessie, that’s why I didn’t call; besides Michael was with me all night.”

  She raises a questioning eyebrow at me. “Nothing happened, Jessie. He slept on the sofa the whole time.” I’m not going to mention the little indiscretion that happened between us. She doesn’t need to know about that.

  “Listen, I’ll understand if you want me out of your apartment. He obviously knows where I am now and I don’t want to put you in any kind of danger. In fact, I think it’s a very good idea I do leave.”

  She looked mad. “Don’t you dare, I’m not going to hear that kind of talk from you. You’re staying with me and that’s final, do you hear? I have a gun anyway, so I’ll shoot the little fucker in the balls if he tries to get to you.”

  I start laughing. Jessie always manages to make me laugh in any situation. She just seems to have a talent for it. The idea of a gun springs to mind, and the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me that I should get one. I need to know how to better protect myself and not rely on everyone else to do that for me. As soon as that thought entered my head, the decision was made.

  “Are you feeling better now?”

  I nod my head and go over to the sink to rinse my mouth out. I’m not letting Alan take over my life. He’s been in my nightmares for far too long, and I want to put an end to it. I need to get a grip and stop acting like the frightened little child I used to be. I’m a grown woman now and should be able to look after myself. I straighten up and look at Jessie. “Right, let’s get back to work shall we?”

  Just before I was thinking of heading out to lunch Marcos rang and told me that they had found a fingerprint match for Alan. I thought it was rather quick, but he told me he rushed it through right after he left last night. I thought that was very gracious of him to do so, and told him all about the phone call. He said that I would have to report it and I knew he was right. It would mean Jake finding out and I didn’t want that. I know exactly what would happen if he did. He would throw me over his shoulder, take me back to McLean and never let me leave. I’m not going back there with everything that’s happened.

  I take my lunch first, telling Jessie I would be back as soon as possible to let her go. I have a mission to accomplish.

  I get to the local Fairfax gun store a couple of blocks away and make my way in. I don’t know much about guns and I only ever fired one once when Jake took me to the range. It might be very British of me to think so, but guns scare me. I think being in America, knowing I’m in danger puts a little perspective on things. I have a right to arm if necessary and I’ll be damned if I don’t use that right. I glance over them but I don’t have a clue what to look for. Luckily a silver haired man approaches me from the other side of the cabinets.

  “What can I do you for today?”

  “I’m new at this so I need a little help,” I answer, smiling.

  “Well, you’ve come to the right place. Tell me what it is you’re looking for and I’m sure I’ll be able to point you in the right direction.”

  “Well, I only need something small, just for protection. I don’t plan on using it unless I have to.”

  He nods his head, “Okay, I think I have just the thing.”

  He takes me along the aisle a little and then stops by a handgun.

  “This is the Ruger P95 9MM in stainless steel. Probably just the sort of handgun you’re looking for.”

  I pick it up and hold it. He shows me where to put the bullets and brings out some of them to look at. He tells me all these technical terms and it all goes way above my head. In the end I told him I’d take it, just so I could get the hell out of there.

  “I will need two proofs of identification.”

  I bring out my driver’s license and work ID and he seems satisfied with that.

  “I’ll just need to run a check on you. It won’t take long.”

  He runs off and I stand there patiently waiting for his return. Sure enough within a couple of minutes he comes back smiling.

  “Okay, all done. How would you like to pay?”

  I take out my visa and pay the $399 for the gun and ammo. I’m just glad to be getting the hell away from there.

  I relieve Jessie for lunch and get back to work compiling a graph for Jake, using statistical data of crimes in the area. I’m at it for hours until home time at five o’clock.

  “Boy do these statistics really get me cross-eyed. I’m so glad I’m going home. I’m tired what with all the exercise from last night.”

  Jessie winks at me and I know for certain what exercise she is referring to.

  “By the way, Missy, I’ve spoken to some of the gang here about this trip, and a lot of them are really excited about the idea. I’m going to compile some numbers and give Jerry a call. He said he would set it up for me.”

  I smile; glad of the distraction away from the mess I’m in with Alan. We grab all our things and head outside. “Thanks for doing this, it sounds great. I can’t wait until we go. Do you know for certain whose coming?”

  She nods her head, “Yes, Tom and Michael said they would. James, Richard, David, Daniel, Charlie, Katie, Melissa, Lucy and Mandy. I’ve asked some others and they said they’d get back to me.”

  I start to wonder about Mandy. I hadn’t seen her in a few days. “Talking of Mandy, where is she?”

  She frowns at me, “Don’t you remember, she said a couple of weeks back that she was going away for a week in Florida with her boyfriend?”

  Of course, now I do. “Yes, sorry.”

  “I think you have had enough on your mind, so don’t worry about it.”

  We get to the car grateful that I didn’t see Jake again. I think avoiding him would be the best solution to my problems, considering my body just goes limp every time I’m around him.

  Chapter 12

  About an hour or so after getting home, I’m in the middle of cooking up some chicken for Jessie and myself, when the doorbell goes. I hear Jessie answer, and a minute or so later, she comes in the kitchen with a massive bunch of sunflowers. I just love sunflowers.

  “I wonder who these are from.” Jessie knows exactly who they’re from bec
ause of the flowers from yesterday. “Am I going to need to go shopping for more vases?”

  I take the flowers from her smiling as I read the card.

  ‘My dearest Ana, Sunflowers mean adoration and I adore you with all my heart. Please take me back and I’ll promise to love you forever. Yours, Jake.’

  Another tear is shed at his words. Damn you Jake.

  Jessie takes the card from me and reads it. While she is busy looking, I notice another envelope attached to the flowers. I reach my hand inside and open it. In the small envelope is a silver anklet and dangling from it is a bunch of diamond stars. It looks beautiful.

  “Man, he is really is trying hard, Ana. They’re beautiful. What are you going to do?”

  I look at her shocked. “Nothing, Jessie!” I screech.

  She shakes her head, “I can’t understand it. He loves you and you love him, and you’re just plain miserable without him. Why are you doing this to yourself, and to him?”

  I started getting angry and the tears were flowing freely now. “Because he broke my heart, okay? You don’t understand, I don’t trust many people, I never have. I let Jake in. I gave him everything of me and he betrayed me. Can you just imagine how much that hurts, knowing you trusted someone with your heart and they let you down? I have to live with what he did and it tears me up inside. I play it over and over again in my head sometimes until it hurts. I still see his face, the way he refused to look at me when I was calling his name—begging him to look me in the eye, and he just stood there. He may as well have ripped my heart right out my chest and stamped on it in that day. It was the worst day of my life and I don’t know how to recover from it.”

  The tears are coming more and more, as Jessie holds out her hand to me.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way. I wish you would open up at times and let me in. You know you can trust me right? I’m your bestie.”

  I start laughing and nod my head. “Of course, I know I can trust you. You’re my bestie, too.” Her eyes show a slight hint of glazing over and it shocks me a little. She quickly inhales a deep breath, shaking herself out of it, and walks to the fridge.