Shadowed

  “Except for the fact that my head feels like I drank an entire bottle of fireflower juice before passing out.” He put a hand to his temple gingerly and winced at the throbbing pain. “Gods, what happened?”

  “I pushed the kill switch.” Nina looked ashamed but defiant. “I know you said not to, but you were in such bad shape. Lona’s emotions were overwhelming you and—”

  “Wait a minute.” He held up a hand. “Who’s Lona?”

  “Oh—that’s the little girl who found us. She and her pet, Spaker, were playing ball and she threw it too far—that’s what hit our ship—her boji ball. And so—”

  “You mean to tell me that thing that attacked us was a child?” he interrupted her again.

  “Couldn’t you tell?” Nina asked. “It was really obvious to me. She was just curious about us—she thought we were some new kind of dolls. Two of her mothers had promised her some new toys, and she thought we were it.”

  “Two of her mothers?” Reddix shook his head. “What kind of society is this?”

  “A really nice one, actually,” Nina said reassuringly. “They took us in after I, uh, knocked you out, and their healer has been looking after you ever since.”

  “They took us in?” Reddix stared around the dim room he found himself in, realizing for the first time that he was no longer on the ship. “What the hell?” he growled at Nina. “Why did you let them take us from the only safe place on this entire ball of dirt?”

  A frown creased her forehead. “Because I was worried I’d killed you, all right? Do you know how long you’ve been out? Three days. You told me the kill switch would only put you under for an hour, and so I waited an hour, but you wouldn’t wake up. Reddix, I’ve been sitting here with you day and night worried to death that you were never going to open your eyes again. I…I…”

  Her own eyes were suddenly bright with tears, and she turned away.

  “Hey…” Her emotions still bewildered him, mostly because he couldn’t feel them. That’s right, he realized. I can’t feel them—the numbness is back. But was it really numbness? Reddix frowned, remembering the brief respite he’d had from the alien’s emotions when Nina had grabbed his arm. Could it be…but no, that was impossible—wasn’t it?

  “I thought I killed you,” she said again, her voice muffled.

  “I’m okay, sweetheart. Really I am,” he said, trying to be reassuring. Actually, aside from his pounding head, he didn’t feel too bad. He sat up in bed—or the low sleeping platform that passed for a bed, anyway—and looked around.

  The room he found himself in seemed to belong to a primitive, pre-technical society. Most of the implements he saw were made of natural materials. A mat woven of the tall purple grass covered the packed dirt floor, and the furniture was made of some kind of silvery-gray wood. The blanket that covered him seemed to be made of coarse dark purple animal fur. The craftsmanship was excellent, but there was no sign of anything plastic or electronic. In fact, there was hardly even any metal in the room. The small space was lit by a fire, which flickered with gold and blue flames in a stone fireplace across from the bed.

  Blue and gold, just like her eyes. He looked at Nina again to see if she was still upset. He caught her in the act of hastily wiping her cheeks, and when she looked at him, her chin was lifted defiantly.

  “Don’t die on me, okay?” she said, pointing a finger at him. “You’re not allowed to do that. You dragged me here, and you’re going to get me home…eventually.”

  “Eventually,” Reddix agreed gravely. “So…” He tried to lighten the mood. “Tell me more about this place. What are the natives like besides ‘really nice’?”

  “It’s actually fascinating and quite complex.” Nina turned to face him more fully, her lovely face animated, the firelight reflected in her eyes. “The adults are smaller than the children—they’re about our size. Well, my size, anyway.”

  “That’s good to hear.” He looked around the room which did seem to be made to accommodate someone from Nina’s home planet. “If they got much bigger they’d be fucking monsters.”

  “As far as I can tell they hatch from some kind of egg. They start out really big and shrink as they get older,” Nina said. “I think that’s one reason each child has multiple parents—it’s the only way they can handle them.”

  “Makes sense.” Reddix nodded.

  “They also communicate via emotions. It’s kind of like their feelings make a picture in your head that turns into words. Weird but effective.” Nina bit her lip. “I’m afraid that might be a problem for you although the adults—especially the elders—seem to have much quieter feelings than the kids.”

  Reddix frowned. “That is a problem. Normal emotions are hard enough but when they’re fucking broadcasting them…” He shook his head. “I thought my head was going to explode.”

  “I thought so too,” Nina said in a low voice. “That was the reason I pressed the kill switch. I’ve explained as much as I can to them that it’s a problem for you, and I’ve been keeping everyone but the healer away from your room.”

  Reddix was touched. “Been standing watch over me while I was out, huh?” he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

  Nina’s cheeks got pink. “Somebody had to. I wasn’t sure if your RTS was a problem while you were unconscious or not, but I didn’t want to take a chance.”

  “Thank you.” He held her eyes with his own for a moment, wishing he dared to touch her. “You didn’t have to do that but thanks anyway.”

  “Yes, I did,” she countered. “You’re my way out of here, remember? Even if you don’t want to take me home right away.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that right now,” he reminded her gently. “You’ve got the controls to the collar, remember?”

  “About that…” Nina looked uncomfortable. “About the collar…it was lighting up like crazy the entire time we were meeting Lona—blinking like a Christmas tree. Almost like it was…feeding on you.”

  “That’s exactly what it was doing,” Reddix said grimly. “Didn’t I tell you it lives on extreme emotions? It probably thought I was a fucking banquet.”

  “Well, I didn’t like it.” Nina frowned. “And afterward when you were out, I thought maybe it had something to do with why you weren’t waking up. So I tried to take it off.”

  Reddix frowned and reached up his fingers to feel the cool metal collar still encircling his throat. “What do you mean you tried?”

  “Exactly what I said—I tried.” Nina looked truly troubled now. “But, Reddix, it wouldn’t come off. No matter what I did, it wouldn’t come off.”

  * * * * *

  He frowned at her, and Nina wondered if he really understood. She tried to explain that she’d tried everything—even cutting the collar off—but nothing had worked. It had resisted all attempts to be removed, and when she’d taken a pair of pliers to the damn thing, it had actually shocked her—delivering such a stinging, painful jolt she was forced to abandon the attempt.

  “It’s really creepy,” she told Reddix. “I wish we’d never put it on you.”

  “Well, it’s on now,” he said grimly. “And we can’t—”

  Just then the light grass fiber door swung open, and the alien Nina had begun to know as “Healing One” came in. He was small—no bigger than a child, which conveyed his great age since these people shrank as they grew older—and covered in short grayish fur. His three eyes were a faded purple and seemed to have a kindly, patient expression in them whenever he looked at her.

  “Greetings,” he sent to Nina, using feelings of warm welcome and calmness to form the words in her brain.

  Beside her on the low bed, Reddix winced, a look of pain crossing his chiseled features. “Shit,” she heard him mutter as he put a hand to his temple.

  “Hello, Healing One,” she answered aloud, trying as much as she could to put herself between Reddix and the alien. She didn’t know if she could block the flow of emotions from the healer to the big Kindred, but she was d
etermined to try. “My…friend is awake. But he is still in some pain.” She was doing her best to send emotion/thought signals to match her words, but she wasn’t sure how to explain Reddix’s RTS to the alien healer. It seemed to defy description—at least with the limited vocabulary she’d been able to amass in the past few days.

  “Must examine him,” Healing One sent back with pictures of his gray tentacles sliding gently over Reddix’s face and body.

  “No!” Reddix sat back in bed. “This is bad enough. If it touches me—”

  “You can’t touch him,” Nina tried to send thought messages—images of Healing One touching Reddix with a big red X through them. “It might hurt him. He’s…sensitive.”

  “Sen…si…tive?” Healing One sent feelings of confusion and uncertainty.

  Nina felt a surge of frustration. How could she convey what needed to be said? How could she make the alien healer understand?

  “Must examine,” Healing One sent more firmly. “A matter of honor.”

  “He’s saying he has to look at you. I think it’s some kind of doctor code thing or something,” Nina said.

  “Yeah, I can fucking tell. It’s like he’s yelling it in my ear ‘til I’m half deaf,” Reddix growled.

  Nina glanced at him anxiously, worried that his nose would start to bleed again.

  “Are you okay?”

  He frowned. “I won’t be if he touches me. Unless…”

  “What?” she asked, still watching him apprehensively for signs of overload.

  “Touch me.” Reddix held out a hand to her.

  “Touch you? No!” She shied away from his offered hand. “You told me not to. You said touching makes your RTS worse.”

  “Fuck what I said,” he snarled, then sighed. “I’m sorry, the, uh, healer alien’s emotions are so loud it’s really hard to think. Look, I could be wrong about this, but I want to try something. So touch me, Nina—take my hand. Please.” He held out his hand again, more insistently this time.

  “Well, if you’re sure…” Hesitantly Nina took the offered hand. It was as warm as she had imagined it would be and so much larger than hers she felt like a child holding hands with a grownup.

  Reddix’s silver eyes widened as his long fingers closed over hers. “Goddess,” he muttered hoarsely. “It’s not just a period of numbness—it’s you.”

  “It’s me what?” Nina asked, still worried.

  “You—you’re blocking his emotions.” He gestured at Healing One who was standing quietly to one side of the bed, waiting courteously for them to finish their conversation. “Not only can I not feel your feelings—I can’t feel anyone else’s either when I’m touching you.”

  “Really? You’re sure I’m the reason? But how can that be?” Nina felt bewildered but cautiously hopeful.

  “I don’t know.” He shook his head. “All I know is that a minute ago I felt like someone was shouting as loudly as they could right in my face—it was fucking deafening. And now when I’m touching you—nothing. Silence.”

  “That’s amazing. I wonder what causes it? Because it’s nothing I’m doing on purpose. I mean I wish I could, but I have no idea how or why I’m able to act as your, uh, personal damper.”

  Reddix’s silver gaze seemed to turn inward. “The witch said a girl with a pure heart and healing hands,” he murmured to himself. “That must be it. But I never thought—”

  “What witch?” Nina asked, frowning. “Is she the one who sent you to take me? Does she have anything to do with what you want me for?”

  A closed look came over his face, and he pulled his hand away from hers, wincing as he did so.

  “Never mind. I told you I can’t talk about that.”

  Nina glared at him. “Well, you’re going to have to talk about it sooner or later, buddy. Especially if you want my help to get by here.” Reaching over, she grabbed his big hand in hers again and entwined their fingers. “Now,” she said, turning to Healing One. “You can examine him. But only while he’s touching me.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  The alien healer examined Reddix, running soft, furry tentacles over his face and body in a way that would have been completely intolerable if Nina hadn’t been holding his hand. But with her to act as his “personal damper” as she had put it, he couldn’t feel a thing and the worst thing that happened was that the healer’s tentacles tickled a little. Nina seemed to be communicating with the alien but mostly in the emotion/thought language, and while she was touching him, Reddix couldn’t hear any of it.

  He was well aware of what an unexpected blessing this was—here he was, a sufferer of RTS trapped on a planet of beings who communicated by throwing their emotions. It would likely have been the death of him if Nina wasn’t there. But more than that, the feel of her soft, smooth hand in his occupied his thoughts.

  I can touch her. I am touching her. It was amazing, exhilarating…arousing. He had found her beautiful before but in a hopeless kind of way. Now, suddenly all his fantasies about the lovely Earth girl were possible—they could become realities. Reddix couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to kiss her, to touch her—running his hands all over her soft, curvy body. To feel her pressed against him. To—

  To deliver her to the swamp witch and hope when Xandra takes her blood it doesn’t kill her, whispered a mean little voice in his brain. Reddix came back to reality with a thump. It didn’t matter that he had finally found a woman he could touch—he wouldn’t be acting out any of his fantasies with Nina—now or ever. In fact, she was only holding his hand as a gesture of kindness—kindness he didn’t in any way deserve. There was no way she would want to do anything else with him, and Reddix didn’t blame her. So forget about it—stop fantasizing, he told himself savagely. She’s not for you. You don’t deserve her.

  Still, he couldn’t help enjoying the feel of her hand in his. He wished it could last forever.

  But finally, the alien healer finished his examination and withdrew from the room. When he did, Nina withdrew her hand at once, leaving Reddix feeling strangely bereft.

  “You probably want to have a bath and use the restroom after being out for so long,” she said, not looking at him.

  “Uh, sure.” He nodded. “That would be good. Where—”

  “They have a bathing facility, but it’s communal—everyone uses it.”

  “Hmm, not so good.” Reddix didn’t like the idea of taking a bath with a bunch of emotion-throwing aliens.

  “No, it’ll be all right. It’s the middle of the day so most of the kids are in school and the adults are at work, um, harvesting or farming or gathering I think. So we should be okay.”

  “We?” Reddix frowned at her. “You’re coming with me?”

  Nina got a stubborn look on her face. “I have to. What if too many of the Feeling People come in while you’re in the water? You could black out and drown.”

  “The Feeling People?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

  “That’s just what I call them. Don’t change the subject—if you want a bath, I have to come too.”

  “Fine,” Reddix growled. Although he didn’t like being treated like an invalid, he had to acknowledge that what she said was true. The emotions of the “Feeling People” as she called them, were so strong and intense he might not survive a close encounter with several of them together. Not when his brain already felt scrambled from their adventure with the thing Nina had assured him was a little girl.

  “Come on then.” Nina nodded and got up off the bed. “Let’s go.”

  “After you.” Reddix followed her, moving stiffly from having been unconscious for so long. His clothes felt grimy and stained—probably from days and nights of sleeping in them. “Uh, is there anything I could change into?” he asked as they made their way out of the small sleeping room and into a long, dark hallway.

  “Sure—the Feeling People don’t really have clothes per se because they’re all covered in fur,” Nina said. “But they do have fabrics. See this?” She pointed
at the dress she was wearing draped over one shoulder, leaving the other one bare. “It’s actually a blanket, but I found a little sewing kit on the ship and modified it.”

  “It’s, uh, nice,” Reddix muttered. Actually, now that she was standing he could see it was much more than just “nice.” The blanket dress appeared to be made of some short, dense light blue fur which glimmered in the low light of the hallway. It clung to Nina’s curving full hips and ass in a way the shapeless garments she’d called scrubs didn’t, making it almost impossible for him to look away from her shapely backside.

  “…if you want.”

  “Huh?” Reddix realized she’d said something else to him, and he had missed it because he was ogling her like a horny adolescent. He looked up quickly, fighting to keep his eyes on her face.

  “I said I found a grooming kit too—you know, some clippers, scissors, a razor—I can give you a shave and a haircut after you get your bath. If you trust me to, that is. It’s been awhile since I cut hair,” she said.

  “Oh. Sure.” Reddix nodded. It was true he needed a shave, and his hair was certainly much too long, but that wasn’t why he was eager to take her up on her offer. Any excuse to have those small, soft hands on him again was welcome—no matter what it was.

  “Good.” Nina looked pleased. “I promise I’ll be careful. Oh—here we are.” They had come to a low door at the end of the hallway that seemed to be made of a thicker, sturdier wood than the light woven grass one on the bedroom. “Brace yourself,” Nina warned him. “We have to go outside to get to the bathhouse, and it’s probably going to be pretty cold. Healing One told me this was the hottest summer they’ve had in years, but it always feels really chilly to me.”

  Reddix shrugged. “Cold weather doesn’t bother me.”

  “Well it does me.” She shivered. “I’ve lived in Florida all my life. We put on a sweater if the weather gets below seventy-five.”

  “Seventy-five what?” he asked, mystified.

  “Degrees. Never mind. I’m sure you have a different system of measurement. The point is, if it’s not blazing hot, it’s cold. At least to me. Come on.” Nina pushed through the wooden door and ducked outside.