What Hurts The Most

  Chapter Ten

  “Ladies and gentleman, I now present to you, Captain Logan Cook.” The General announces, pinning a badge on Logan’s uniform. The crowd erupts into applause as they salute. “Now, before we end this ceremony, I would like to say a few words on Logan’s behalf.” The General says, stepping forward on the stage.

  “Logan is an outstanding young man. He takes his job very seriously which is part of the reason he’s getting this title today. Many of you know that he’s been a grief counselor for multiple years while he has served in the army. He actually retired from it about six months ago and then crisis struck his squad. I’m sure all of you have heard of Private Nickolas Vaughn. He was under Logan’s command. Logan and Nickolas were great friends. A few months ago, Mr. Vaughn passed away in the line of duty. The last thing he asked Logan, was to take care of his Fiancé. And do you know what this man did? He came out of his retirement just to become her grief counselor.”

  This is getting a little too personal for my liking… Why does this have to be brought up?

  “He stuck by her as he promised. Then one night, I had to call Logan and tell him that he was going to be promoted. But you see, in order to become Captain, he had to be relieved of his grief counseling duties. Logan here, wouldn’t have it. He told me that even though all of this sounded so good, he had to keep his promise. Therefore, I left and told him his position may not be waiting for him when he returned. But something happened that night. Mr. Vaughn’s fiancé was threatened and almost killed. But Logan was there to save her life. Ladies and Gentlemen, this man is more than worthy of this position and I am so glad to be the one to honor him today.” The crowd erupts into applause one last time.

  “Before we adjourn this meeting, I would like to take a moment of silence in remembrance of Private First Class, Nickolas Vaughn.” A voice announces over the sound system. Logan and the General walk over to side stage as a screen lowers from the ceiling. The saddest song I had ever heard started to play as pictures of Nick appeared.

  I stare blankly at the screen as Nick and I’s personal pictures flash across it. How could this be? Why would they do all of this without asking me first? I lower my head quickly as I make my way out of the room. I make the mistake of looking back as I see our engagement pictures slowly fade off the screen. Logan’s eyes scan the audience until he finds me.

  A tear silently falls from my cheek as I turn and quickly exit the room. Once outside, I observe my surroundings.

  Where do I go?

  What do I do?

  I fold my arms across my chest and head home. I knew Logan would be there soon, but I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was usually pretty good at hiding my feelings but that was too much to handle.

  As I enter the house, tears start flowing freely. I run into my room and get in my closet. I find a little cubby hole under my winter wear rack. I slowly slide to the floor and pull my knees to my chest. Why does all of this keep happening to me? Every time I think I’m going to be happy, something always pulls me back down. I look up and see Nick’s army jacket. I pull it off the hanger and wrap it around my body.

  Then I hear what I had been waiting for.

  “Caroline?” Logan yells, entering the house. I hear him walk through some of the rooms and then he comes into my bedroom. “Caroline? I know you’re in here.” My stupid lungs give away, as a soft noise escapes my mouth. Logan walks into the closet and kneels beside of me.

  “I’m sorry they did that.” He adds.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t they ask me before they showed our entire life on screen?” I mutter between breaths.

  “Caroline, I didn’t know. They didn’t tell me anything and to be honest I would like to know the same thing and I will find out who’s responsible for it, alright?”

  I don’t answer, I just continue looking at the floor.

  “How about we go get some breakfast? Even though it’s a base camp, our cafeteria can make some of the best home cooked meals around.”

  “You can go.” I whisper.

  He sighs and rises to his feet. He turns around and sits down next to me. “Nope, if you’re staying, I’m staying.” He adds and rests his head against the wall. We sat there for what seemed like forever without saying a single word. My eyes began to get heavy as my head slowly collapsed on Logan’s shoulder.

  Logan’s Point of View

  I gently lift Caroline off the floor and place her on the bed. I slide a quilt over her and leave the room. I stopped at the window in the living room, watching as soldiers and their families move freely around the base. I had to figure out who was in charge of Nick’s remembrance slideshow and now would probably be a good time.

  I exited the house and walked to the General’s office. His secretary greets me. “Good morning, Captain. How may I help you?” She asks, smiling.

  “I was hoping the General was in. I need to speak with him immediately.”

  She nods. “He is but I’m afraid he’s taking a business call right now. May I leave him a message for you?”

  I shake my head. “No, but could you possibly check on that? I really need to speak with him and it will only take a minute.”

  She sighs and rises from her desk. She knocks on the door and slowly peeks inside. “General, Captain Logan Cook is here to see you, he says it’ll only take a minute.”

  “Send him in.”

  I walk quickly through the door. The General is sitting at his desk, staring out the window. “I have been waiting for you all morning. How’s Caroline?” He asks, turning to me.

  “Not good, I’m afraid. General, did you know that was going to take place?”

  “I knew we were going to have a moment of silence, but I was unaware of the slideshow.” I nodded as I knew he wouldn’t lie to me.

  “Who did it?”

  “Logan, I don’t think-”

  “Sir, please tell me.”

  “Lieutenant Jon Grant. I believe you know him well, as did Nick.”

  “Am I over him now? Is he one of my soldiers?”

  He nods. “Yes, but before you do anything rational, I have already talked with him. It will not happen again.”

  “Thank you, General. Have a nice day.” I add before saluting him and leaving the room.

  I liked Jon. He was a good soldier, a good friend. But sometimes, I just don’t think he uses his brain. I walk next door to my office. I used to have one but I never liked it. I always wanted to be out on the field but right now, I could use it. My secretary is sitting at her desk on the computer. When she sees me, she rises and salutes.

  “Captain! What a surprise.”

  “Yes, I decided that maybe having an office isn’t such a bad idea. Anyway, I came to ask you a favor.”

  “Of course,” She says, sitting back down.

  “Could you radio Lieutenant Jon Grant? I need to speak with him ASAP.”

  “Yes, sir. Anything else?”

  “Just send him in as soon as he arrives.”

  She nods. “Of course.”

  I enter my office and shut the door. I walk over to my desk and sit down. I can’t help but think it’s a bit empty. No files or papers are thrown over the top, but I guess that would be because I never come in here. Usually, if someone needs something, they find me. But maybe I should come here more often… I am of authority now…

  I sit there quietly for a few more minutes before my phone rings.

  “Captain Logan Cook speaking,” I answer.

  “Hello, Captain. Just calling to inform you that the Lieutenant has arrived.”

  “Send him in. By the way, I never got your name?” I ask, not wanting to call her secretary forever.

  “My name’s Katie Fryer, sir.”

  “Ah, well thank you, Katie,” I add and hang up as my door opens, revealing Jon. He salutes me as I motion for him to sit down.

  “Good morning, Logan. Long time no see, buddy.” He adds before sitting down in front of my desk.

  “Sa
me here. Now, let’s get down to business. I know the General spoke with you about the incident this morning, but I wanted to speak with you personally about it.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Was it your idea?” I ask.

  He nods. “Yes, sir.”

  “All of it? Because from what the General said, it was only supposed to be a moment of silence.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Why did you do it?”

  “Captain, you know me. We’ve both been in the army a very long time. We were both in the same unit together and we both were very good friends with Nick… I just wanted to remember him the right way.”

  “The right way? Lieutenant, were you aware that Nick’s fiancé was in the audience?”

  “There was a rumor going around that she was on base, but no one ever said if it was true or not.”

  “Then shouldn’t have you taken it upon yourself to find out? Do you have any idea how much that hurt her?” He stays silent. “Get out of my office,” I add and spin my chair around to face the window.

  “I’m sorry, Logan. I just wasn’t thinking…”

  “Jon, that’s your problem. You don’t think. What happens if you get promoted and are in charge of hundreds of people? What if you don’t think and end up getting every one of them killed?”

  “You’re right and I’ll be more careful next time.”

  “Jon, I am your commanding officer now. And I have to put all friendships aside and do what’s best for the country. I am losing patience with you and I want you to know, if you slip up one more time, I’m going to have to relieve you from your duties.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You’re dismissed.” I add as I hear the door shut and turn back around to an empty room.

  That certainly went well.

  Once I gain my composure, I say my goodbye’s to Katie. “I’ll be leaving for the day, only call me if it’s an emergency.” I add and shut my office door.

  “Yes, sir. Have a nice evening!”

  I walk through the park and head home. Soon, the duplex comes into view. A black Lincoln Navigator is sitting in the driveway. Wonder who that could be? I walk up the driveway and push the door open. What I see surprises me, to say the least.

  “My baby!” Mom squeals and hugs me.

  “Mom? Dad?” I add looking around the room. Dad is sitting on the sofa along with my brother, Alex, while Caroline sits in the corner, awkwardly. “What are you doing here?” I ask, pulling away from my mom.

  “The General called and informed us that you were being promoted. We were supposed to arrive early for the ceremony, but our flight was delayed and we didn’t make it. Your father and I are so proud of you!” She says and tries to hug me again, but I pull away.

  “Enough with the hugging… Is that the real reason you came? Because all the other times I’ve been promoted, I haven’t so much as gotten a phone call from you.”

  “Now, son, all the other times weren’t as important. You’re a Captain now! That’s impressive!” She adds and smiles.

  “Oh, really? So you only care when I have a big name?”

  “That’s not true, honey. We love you and we were a bit worried about you. Ya know, we hear about you often back home but I must say, we didn’t hear about your live in…” She says, nodding toward Caroline, disgustingly.

  “Yeah, she’s kind of hot,” Alex adds.

  “Okay, hold it right there. First off, Alex, shut up! I can and will have you thrown off this base. Secondly, mom, you don’t- You just-” I sigh loudly and look to Caroline. “Could you just give us a minute?” I ask.

  “Gladly.” She adds and walks off to her room.

  I wait until she’s gone before continuing. “You don’t know the slightest thing about me or her. When I left for the army, you guys didn’t want a thing to do with me. All you cared about was dad’s big corporation. You didn’t care what I did or what I thought. You just worried about Alex. You wanted him to grow up and be the big shot of this family. You did that because you were disappointed in me. I didn’t want anything to do with the business and I made that clear. And now the only thing I can think of that would make you come see me, is that Alex has failed you and you need to confide in the only person that has a brain in this family. And I have one thing to say and that is no.”

  “Son, I know we weren’t as supportive as we should have been, but-”

  I hold up my hand. “Dad, stop. I don’t want an explanation. I don’t want to hear anything. I don’t need it. Alex has failed you and now you need a backup plan. And that’s not going to be me.”

  “Will you at least hear us out?” Mom asks in a slow, calm voice.

  “I don’t have time for this. I have things to take care of. I’m in charge of many people and that is my responsibility.”

  “Just listen for two minutes, Logan! We came all this way! Just hear them out.” Alex states.

  I look around the room as my mind prepares itself for the worst.

  “Two minutes,” I repeat.

  “After you left, you’re father and myself maintained the company. When Alex graduated, he began his internship and learned how the business worked first hand. After a year, he became the COO and he was doing well. Until he met a woman and they got married. She took everything from him and tried to take over the business. She didn’t fully succeed, but she left her mark and now we’re back at square one. We need someone new, Logan. Someone the people can trust and what better man than an army man.”

  Well, the two minutes wasn’t completely up, so I guess it’s my turn. “Mom, I’m sorry that you trusted your own son and he failed you. I’m sorry that you’re more than likely going to lose your corporation but I am not your man. The army is what I do. It’s what I’m passionate about and if that isn’t good enough for you, then you don’t deserve to be an American. You both used to have that pride. We used to go to every firework show around on the fourth of July, no matter how busy Dad was. Then, once I even showed the slightest interest in the Army all that stopped. Why? It should have been an honor to have a son that was willing to risk his life to serve his country but it wasn’t for you. It was a disgrace because I wasn’t cut out for the high-class lifestyle.”

  “Son, you know-” Dad starts.

  I cut him off. “It’s not me. When I got on that plane and left for boot camp, I lost my family and I never got them back. Mom, do you know what hurt me the most?” She stares at me and shakes her head. “When I got married, you weren’t there. You said that dad had a business trip and you had to go. All I got was a card that your secretary signed. That’s all. Then when I lost my wife, I never even got a phone call from my mother. My own mother didn’t care that I lost the only thing that mattered to me. And then you walk in here and look at Caroline like she’s some kind of monster. That woman means more to me than any of you ever will. She has been through hell and back. Her husband was one of my best friends. He helped me through so much while I was in boot camp. Then I had to sit and watch him die. He was a true friend and I promised him that I would take care of her. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

  They all look at one another without saying a word.

  “I know it’s late, which is why I’m going to be nice and let you stay the night. Mom and dad, you take the room straight down the hall. Alex, you sleep on the couch. I want you all out of here before sunrise and I mean it.”

  With that, I walk away and entered Caroline’s room. She’s sitting on her bed, watching me. “I’ll explain later.” She nods as I sit down in the corner and try to calm down.

  How could they do this to me?