What Hurts The Most

  Chapter Twelve

  I sat in my room the rest of the day. Logan eventually went back to his office and I spent the day alone. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with myself, I tried reading a book, browsing the web, watching TV, but no matter what I did, my mind would always linger back to Logan.

  I never even had the slightest idea of how he felt about me. I thought we were good friends and he would always be there for me whenever I needed him. I never expected this to happen.

  I just wanted to leave Kentucky and be who I wanted to be.

  The next morning, I waited until Logan left for work, then I called a cab to meet me at the front gate. I really needed to run some errands, without Logan. I knew he would be home for lunch, so I left a note on the fridge explaining my absence. Afterward, I grabbed my purse, locked up, and made my way to the base’s entrance.

  “Good morning, ma’am, would this be your cab?” A security guard asks.

  “Yes, it would.” He opens the door as I get in. “Have a nice day.”

  “Where to?” The driver asks.

  “To the nearest car dealership, please.”

  “No problem.”

  I couldn’t stand being locked in that house all day long, I needed a way of transportation and I intended to find one first thing. Before I left home, I transferred all my savings into my bank account, including Nick’s life insurance policy. It was time to get settled in and I knew today was the day.

  We arrive at a local car dealership, I pay the driver and walk around the lot. Before long, an employee comes out to greet me. “Hello, ma’am, my name’s Sam, can I help you?”

  “Yes, you can. I recently moved into town from out of state and I need to purchase a vehicle.”

  “No problem, anything in particular you’re looking for?”

  “Well, I definitely don’t want a gas guzzler, but something relatively decent. I don’t want an SUV or anything, just a car.”

  “Alright, do we have a price range?” He asks.

  I think a moment. “No, not really.”

  “Okay then, well we just got this beauty in,” He says, walking up to a white Toyota Camry. “She’s very good on gas, she has a built-in stereo, leather interior, and heated seats.”

  “It’s nice, but I’m not much on white. I was hoping for something with a little more- more muscle maybe?”

  He nods. “Ah, I’ve got just the thing!” We walk over to a 2011 Ford Mustang GT. It’s black with a silver racing stripe down the center.

  “How much is it?” I ask.

  “Twenty-seven thousand, a good bargain for a good car. She’s got matching leather interior, heated seats, and a built-in GPS.”

  That was pretty much all I needed to hear, but I did take her for a little test drive first, and then I told Sam the three words he loved to hear, “I’ll take it.”

  After I filled out all the paperwork and such, I took her for a spin around town. She drove smooth and I must admit, I loved this car! Once I came back from cloud nine, I looked up a local real estate agency and made an appointment. Maybe I was putting too much on myself, maybe I needed some help.

  I put their address into the GPS and quickly followed its directions. Within minutes, I arrived at my destination and one thing was for sure, I was definitely glad I had a GPS. I have no idea where anything is in this town.

  As soon as I began to get out of the car, my phone goes off. I shut the door and dig it out of my purse. It says I have a text message, from Logan.

  What ‘errands’ are you running?

  I text him back before entering the office.

  Can’t talk right now, be back soon.

  With that, I drop the phone into my purse and walk up to the secretary’s desk. “Good afternoon, how may I help you?”

  “I called earlier and made an appointment with Andrea,” I say, hoping I remembered the woman’s name correctly.

  “And your name?” She asks, looking at her computer screen.

  “Caroline Woods.”

  “Ah, there you are. You can go on back, second door to the right.” She says, pointing down a long hallway.

  “Ah, you must be Caroline. We spoke on the phone?” She asks as I enter the room.

  “Yes, nice to meet you.”

  “Same here, have a seat.” She says and motions to a chair in front of her desk. “So, I wrote down a few things you mentioned so I could have an idea of what you’re looking for. You said you are looking for a home on the outskirts of town, maybe ten to fifteen minutes away, two to three bedrooms, and a garage. What else would you like me to look for?”

  “I would like a decent yard but I don’t want it to require too much upkeep, I don’t really care about a basement or anything like that, as it’s only me.”

  “Well, I don’t think that’ll be a problem. I just listed a few new homes this morning that fit your description.”

  I was thrilled to hear this. I really wanted to go house hunting and find a place of my own and with Andrea’s help, I think it could happen in the near future.

  After filling out some paperwork and such, Andrea was finally my realtor and she would be getting in touch with me in a few days once she came up with a few houses that fit my requirements.

  Once all that was complete, I headed back to base. As I pulled up to the gate, the security guards gazed at my car. I rolled down the window and showed them my ID.

  “Hello, Ms. Woods. Nice car.” He says.

  I smile, “Thanks.” The gate swings open and I drive to the house. As I pull into the driveway, I see Logan sitting on the porch with his head in his hands. He looks up.

  He stands as I get out of the car. “Caroline? What in the world.”

  “Like her?” I ask as he walks around the vehicle.

  “Her?”

  I nod. “Yes, her name is Phoenix, she’s my new ride.”

  “You bought a Mustang? That was your errand?”

  “Well, yeah, I needed some transportation, so I picked her up on my way to meet my real estate agent.”

  “Real estate agent?” He asks as I nod. “What did you do?”

  “What do you mean? I bought a car and found an agent so I can look for a house.”

  “I-I thought you were going to wait?”

  “I was but then I thought, why not? Nothing’s holding me back.”

  “Caroline, are you having a midlife crisis?” At first, I thought he was joking, but his eyes said otherwise.

  “Logan, I’m too young for that!”

  “I don’t know…”

  I roll my eyes. “You’re silly. I bought the car because I’ve always wanted a Mustang and I found an agent so I don’t have to do all the work myself.”

  “I just thought we would go when I was off. I thought I was going to help you…” He says, looking around.

  “I’m a grown woman, Logan. I can do some things myself.” I add and walk past him.

  “Caroline, wait. I need to tell you something before you hear it from someone else.”

  “What?” I ask and turn around.

  “Something happened today and it’s not good.”

  “How bad?” I ask, turning to face him. He walks into the house without saying a word. I take the hint, follow him, and shut the door behind us. “What happened?”

  “Remember how I told you about the guy that put on Nick’s memorial thing?” He asks.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Well, his name is Lieutenant Jon Grant and he used to be very good friends with Nick as well as myself. Let’s just say he wasn’t too happy with what I said to him and he kind of made a bit of a scene today.”

  “What kind of scene?”

  He shrugs nervously. “After I threatened him, he decided that he was going to tell all the soldier’s that I wasn’t fit to be their Captain because I was too emotionally attached-”

  “You’re kidding me?”

  He shakes his head. “No, he told everyone that I was basically in love with you and we were toget
her and now the General has called for a meeting with us.”

  “Could this get you fired?”

  “Highly doubt it, but it could get him sent to military prison.”

  “Really?”

  He nods. “Yes, General doesn’t take too well to such childish actions.”

  “Are they going to ask me a bunch of questions?”

  “I don’t know, but whatever they ask, just tell the truth.”

  After that, Logan and I walk to the General’s office. When his secretary lets us in, we see that the Lieutenant has also arrived. Once Logan notices this, he immediately tenses up.

  “Captain, Ms. Woods. Glad you could make it. Before we get started, I would like to speak with Ms. Woods and the Lieutenant alone. Captain, you may step outside for a moment.” The General says as Logan leaves without a word. “Now, Ms. Woods, please take a seat.” He says and motions toward a chair in front of his desk. “I’m guessing Logan has filled you in on why you’re here?”

  I nod. “Yes, sir.”

  “Good, first I would like to know if these rumors are true. Are you and Logan seeing one another?”

  “No, sir.”

  “I believe you, but let me just add, if you were, it’s not really any of my business. Logan’s personal life is his own and that’s that. As for you,” He says and looks to the Lieutenant, “I’m not sure why you started all these rumors but it had better stop as of right now. Logan is your commanding officer, you listen to him. I don’t have time to deal with this childishness. It’s ridiculous. Before I let you go, I think that Ms. Woods has a right to know why you would start such rumors about her.”

  Jon avoids eye contact with me. “It wasn’t meant for her. Logan was her grief counselor, sir. I don’t think it was a good idea to let him bring her back to base. This is for soldiers and their families, not their crushes.” That last part just lit a fire under me. I wasn’t going to let this slide.

  “General, may I?” I ask.

  “Of course, say what you want.” He smiles.

  “Excuse you, Lieutenant, I don’t think you have your facts straight. When I lost Nick, I didn’t have anyone to lean on. I didn’t have anything. When Logan came along, I finally had a friend. I had someone that would listen to me, listen to my problems and actually care what happened to me. Within six short weeks, I lost the man that I loved and was almost murdered twice! And if it wasn’t for Logan, I wouldn’t be here, because I would be dead. He came in a moment’s notice, not even aware of what was going on, and he didn’t even think twice about it. He did what he thought was best. It wasn’t my idea to come back with him either, it was the General’s. I wanted to move as far away from home as I could. I didn’t belong there and then when Logan started to show me the house and the base, I thought maybe I should go. If I didn’t, I wasn’t sure I would see Logan again or even talk to him, so I agreed. I don’t know you, Lieutenant, but I’ve been told that you and Nick were good friends. If that’s true, I don’t see how you can just assume things and then spread rumors about me or Logan. Like the General said, it’s childish and if that’s what you do all day, then you shouldn’t be fighting for this country.” I finish and look back to the General who is grinning ear to ear.

  “Well, it seems as if Caroline has taken the words right out of my mouth. That will be all for you. You may return to your bunk, you will be informed of your punishment by tomorrow morning.” With that, he leaves the room and Logan walks in.

  “Well, Logan… I must say, this young woman has quite the temper…” The General says as Logan smiles. “Oh, trust me, I know…”

  “Well, I expect to hear from you first thing tomorrow morning. Have your mind made up.” He says as we leave the office.

  “You certainly told him, didn’t you?” Logan asks as we walk back to the house.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I heard you, as a matter of fact, I think everyone in that building heard you.”

  “Well, he deserved it… Worse actually… So, you decided on his punishment?”

  “Yep… I was thinking a few months in military prison or maybe discharge…”

  I stop and look at him.

  “What?” He asks.

  “Really? Don’t you think that’s a bit cruel?”

  “Caroline, you just said he deserves worse.”

  “I know, but I was mad and it was just a silly little rumor. No harm done…”

  “You want me to just let him go?” He asks as I continue toward the house.

  “It’s not up to me, Logan. You’re his boss, you decide.”

  “Caroline, I want to know. Would you really let him off with a warning?” He asks, standing in front of me.

  I sigh loudly. “Yes, Logan, I would. I’m sorry, but I’m just not going to make a big deal out of a rumor… Nobody was harmed.”

  “What if he does something else? Something worse?”

  “Do what you want with him… You asked for my opinion and there you have it.” I add as we enter the house. I walk into my room and kick off my shoes. Logan stops by my door.

  “I don’t know how you do it, Caroline. I honestly don’t. No matter how bad someone hurts you, you just suck it up and go on.”

  “Everyone deserves a second chance, even though Nick never got his…”

  Logan’s Point of View

  I say nothing more, I just go to my room and shut the door. I can’t understand why she doesn’t lash out at people. I mean, after everything that’s happened to her, she doesn’t blame anyone. She just picks herself up and goes on like nothing happened. Granted, she may yell every now and then, but she never wishes anything bad on anyone.

  Nick died to save those kids, yet she never really questioned his reasoning… Louise attempted to kill her, twice, and yet she still felt remorse. I swear this woman cares more about other people than she cares about herself. I don’t understand how she does it. I don’t understand how a person that has gone through so much, can still care about other people’s feelings…

  Caroline is something else, that’s for sure. Maybe, that’s the reason I love her. She’s certainly not normal, she’s unique. She makes me a better person when I’m around her, she makes me think differently and right now, all I can think about is Jon. He deserves to be punished but she doesn’t think so. Everything inside of me is saying to discharge him but then my mind wanders to what Caroline said…

  Everyone does deserve a second chance and she was right. It was just a silly little rumor and if it didn’t bother her, it shouldn’t bother me. Maybe all of this authority is getting to my head. I need to be feared, but not hated…

  After a few minutes to myself, I go into the kitchen and call the General, as soon as the phone starts to ring, Caroline enters the room and walks over to the fridge.

  “Captain? To what do I owe this phone call?” He asks.

  “I’ve made up my mind, sir.” Caroline looks at me questioningly.

  “What’s your orders?” He asks.

  “I’ve decided to give Lieutenant Grant a second chance. I will let him off with a warning this time,” Caroline smiles. “But you let him know that if he messes up one more time, he’s out of here. He had just better be thankful for a certain young lady that took his side…”

  The General laughs, “Captain, I agree with your statement and I’ll inform him personally.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “And Logan, take tomorrow off… I think you deserve some personal time.”

  I nod. “Will do, have a nice night.” I hang up the phone as Caroline stands in front of me, smirking. “What?” I ask.

  “You actually listened to me.”

  “I did… I didn’t want to at first, but after a few minutes, your argument made sense…”

  “You’ll learn, Logan, it just takes time…” She adds and starts to walk off.

  “Learn what?” She stops at her doorway and looks back at me.

  “Instead of getting upset and aggravated at life, you
need to learn to accept it. That’s what I had to do. Everything happens for a reason. Nick died for a reason that I’m still not aware of and I may not ever know, but what I do know is that for some odd reason I met you. We didn’t know anything about each other at Nick’s funeral but who would have guessed, less than two months later, we’d be standing here? That’s the joy of life, Logan. It’s unpredictable and if I would have listened to Louise and blamed myself for Nick’s death, what would have happened to me? Would I have locked myself in my house? Would I have become an emotionless freak? I won’t lie, there were many times that I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die, but I had to think, what would that accomplish? Would that bring Nick back? No. It would just keep me from living my life. You need to learn that, Logan. Live your life and don’t get so caught up in what other people think about you.”