Knot Gneiss

  Angela shook her head. “I’m sorry. What was I saying?”

  “I think yew were about to make a suggestion about rescuing Meryl from the goblins,” Wenda said. “Because the rest of us have no idea.”

  “Oh, yes. For some reason I thought it wouldn’t work.” Angela pondered an angelic moment. “It’s not really a rescue idea so much as a way to figure out a way by getting more information. If Jumper can reach her telepathically—”

  “I’m sure he can,” Ida agreed.

  “—then he could tune in on what’s happening to her now. At least we could find out exactly where she’s being held, so that we would know where to strike.”

  “Dew it, Jumper,” Wenda said. She doubted Jumper’s telepathic range had been far enough before, but now she knew it was. Hilarion and Ida were working beautifully together again.

  Jumper concentrated. “I’ve got her,” he said. “I’ll put it on the hologram.”

  “The what?” Hilarion asked.

  Then it appeared: an image of a dusky dank cell with an iron-bar gate, guarded by a bulging-eyed goblin. It was what Meryl was seeing at the moment. The hologram was where Jumper was, replacing him. He was projecting the scene he was receiving, to all their minds.

  It occurred to Wenda that Eris had given Jumper talents that would come close to making him a Magician if they were permanent. Apparently this did not constitute a Demon Violation, because she had done it at the outset, and already had a close relationship with him. The Demon Xanth had given Chlorine similar gifts; Wenda understood that Chlorine had been an unpretty and bad-tempered woman before her association with the Demon. It was only when Eris intervened to change the outcome of another person’s accident—Wenda’s own—that the Violation occurred.

  Correct, Eris thought. The extra courage and intelligence I lent you when I let him go with you did not count, and neither do our nuptial visits, because they don’t change history but merely make your lives more comfortable. Demons don’t care about mortal comfort, one way or the other.

  She had given Wenda extra courage and intelligence? That explained a lot! Wenda, like a fool, had never suspected. She had thought she was merely rising to the challenges as the occasions demanded.

  You were never a fool. Merely inexperienced. I wanted to be sure you would not do something that would stress Jumper, like falling off a cliff.

  But Wenda had done that anyway, she remembered wryly. So Eris’s precaution had not been sufficient.

  That was an unusual accident. But yes, then I had to act, because of our friendship.

  And Eris had acted, and thereby put her Demon status in peril. Exactly as a friend would.

  I’m glad I got it right. I’m sorry the compromise brought a penalty on you.

  Which had given Angela something she desperately needed: substance. Had Wenda realized that would happen, she would have chosen it.

  Exactly as a friend would.

  Wenda had to smile. The Demoness had gotten it right, again. She was a fast study.

  Thank you.

  And Wenda really did like her, quite apart from the rescue. She had made Jumper happier than he could ever have been otherwise, but that was only part of it. She was nice to communicate with, not being coldly arrogant like the other Demons.

  I am learning from Jumper—and from you. I regret I can’t rescue Meryl. If I intervened again, I would have no recourse. I’m on probation.

  That figured. The Demons had suffered the inconvenience of the Violation hearing, and did not want it repeated.

  “Would you stop staring at me?” Meryl demanded of the goblin guard.

  “Can’t help it. I’m Goggle Goblin.” He continued goggling between the bars. The orientation of his gaze suggested that it was focused on Meryl’s bare chest. That figured. He was male.

  “Then may I have a cloak?”

  “No. If you covered up, I wouldn’t be able to goggle.”

  Wenda appreciated Meryl’s discomfort. But if that was the worst she suffered, it was bearable.

  “That seems to be a low cell,” Hilarion said. “I wonder whether Jumper could transform to a tunneling vole and give us access from below.”

  “I doubt it,” Ida said with regret. The idea had come from the wrong person.

  “Oops,” he breathed, realizing.

  There was the sound of tramping boots. A new goblin appeared. This one was older, stouter, uglier, and nastier than Goggle. He put one black hand on the bars and ripped it open, the lock tearing apart.

  “You always gotta do it the hard way, Gorilla,” Goggle griped. “I got a key.”

  “Shut your staring face,” Gorilla replied politely, “before I push your eyeballs out through your ears.”

  Goggle shut his face, as it was evidently no bluff.

  Gorilla stood and peered at Meryl. “What a piece of tail!” he exclaimed, gazing at it.

  “What a crock of spit,” Meryl replied defiantly.

  “Har har har! I like them spirited. They last longer.” Again, he was evidently speaking literally.

  Then another goblin appeared, the fattest and ugliest yet. He wore a small smudged iron crown. “At ease, Gorilla. You’ll have your turn.” Gorilla shut up with surprising dispatch.

  “You must be the head honcho,” Meryl said bravely. But the hologram was quivering; she was frightened.

  “King Gauche,” he agreed, hawking and spitting to the side. He squinted at her, seeming to be impressed by neither her front nor her tail. “You will tell me everything.”

  “I will tell you nothing,” she retorted.

  He formed a gap-toothed smile as he picked his nose. “Let me rephrase, crossbreed. You will tell all, or suffer hostile witness procedure, which of course we prefer.”

  “And what is that?” she asked. The image was shuddering, because she knew she would not like the answer.

  “Number one: rape by Gorilla Goblin. We’ll hold him back after five or six efforts, just in case you are by then inclined to cooperate. Otherwise, when you recover from your internal injuries, we will do number two: clipping your wings at the shoulders, so you will never fly again. It will be painful, especially when we burn the stumps; you will be free to scream. We love the sound of screaming.”

  That truly terrified Meryl on more than one level. The hologram suffered glitches across its surface, and almost faded out with intermittent losses of signal. But she somehow maintained a defiant pose. “And what else?”

  “If you still are difficult, we will douse you with hate elixir and put you into the cell of another innocent captive.” He paused as if considering. “Maybe that winged merman. That should make for an interesting combat.”

  The hologram grayed out entirely. The brutal chief had scored.

  “Tell her to cooperate!” Wenda cried.

  Jumper sent the thought. “Oh!” Meryl exclaimed, realizing that she was not alone.

  “Is there a winged merman there?” Angela asked.

  Jumper checked. No. He lied to make her squirm.

  This was a really nasty goblin. “Tell her that too,” Wenda said.

  “Oh!” Meryl repeated, perversely relieved.

  “Tell her that we mean to rescue her, somehow,” Wenda said.

  Jumper did. “Oh,” Meryl said, this time relieved.

  “What’s it to be, crossbreed?” Gauche demanded. “Or would you prefer to wait before deciding? Gorilla is eager to start the torture. He likes raping crossbreeds. They scream in interesting ways.”

  “Yeah, yeah!” Gorilla agreed eagerly. He was clearly ready to commence the torture immediately.

  “I’ll—I’ll cooperate,” Meryl said, making an attempt to feign reluctance.

  “Awww,” Goggle and Gorilla said almost together, disappointed.

  “Well, maybe later,” Gauche said, scratching his behind. He was plainly disappointed.

  “What do you want to know?” Meryl asked quickly.

  Gauche belched. “Your party of six arrived without warning
in our territory. We know you didn’t just march in. How did you travel, and why did you come here?”

  “We came through a Door between worlds,” Meryl said. “It’s complicated to explain; you probably wouldn’t understand.”

  “Right,” Gauche agreed, blowing out a disreputable noise from somewhere obscure. “Goblins aren’t as stupid as ogres, but we try.”

  “He is not stupid at all,” Ida murmured. “He is crude, cunning, and ruthless. He is playing a game. Maybe he wants her to try to trick him, so he’ll have a pretext to torture her despite her cooperation.”

  “Tell Meryl,” Wenda said tersely.

  Jumper did.

  “The Door takes us to the world of Comic,” Meryl said quickly. “The return Door dumps us randomly in Xanth. It landed us here. We never wanted to be here; we detest your hate spring and your whole awful tribe.”

  “Why are you traveling?”

  “We have to transport the Knot to the Good Magician’s Castle.”

  “The what?”

  “It’s a big knot of petrified reverse wood. It terrifies anyone who approaches it. Anyone except Wenda Woodwife, who derives from wood and understands all kinds. She nullifies it with reverse wood so we can get close enough to haul it on the wagon.”

  “You reverse reverse wood with reverse wood?” he asked alertly.

  “You’re right,” Hilarion murmured. “The rogue’s no fool.”

  “The Knot is petrified,” Meryl said. “It is changed, and seems more like a big rock. It doesn’t reverse, it frightens people. But Wenda puts a shell of regular reverse wood around it. That doesn’t change the Knot, just its malign radiation, reversing that so that the thing seems friendly. But it wears out the reverse wood in a day or so, and it has to be replaced. It’s a challenge.”

  Gauche wiped his wet nose on his sleeve. “It terrifies anyone who comes near it?”

  “Yes, except for the effect of the shell of reverse wood.”

  “And if a chip of that should be catapulted into an enemy camp, what would be the effect?”

  “I suppose it depends on the size of the chip. It would scare anyone who tried to pick it up.”

  Gauche scratched under a grimy armpit. “Suppose half a slew of chips were hurled into the camp?”

  “Instant chaos would erupt as people fled in mindless terror.”

  He nodded. “We can use that Knot.”

  “But I told you! You can’t approach it, let alone chip it. Your workers would panic.”

  “With shields of reverse wood?”

  She reconsidered. “Maybe then, yes.”

  “We will offer your group an even trade: you in good health for the Knot.”

  “But they can’t give up the Knot! That’s the Quest.”

  “Too bad for you, then.” Gauche glanced meaningfully at Gorilla.

  “But I suppose you could ask them,” Meryl said quickly.

  Gauche sighed gustily. “I suppose I could,” he agreed. “Come on, then.”

  “What?”

  “You are going to ask them, and describe the alternative. They will see that you have not been harmed, yet, and know that you will be doomed if they balk. I suspect they will see reason.”

  “Maybe they won’t,” Meryl said uncertainly.

  “Then we’ll let Gorilla start in while they watch. They might change their minds soon, if not unduly titillated.”

  Horrified, Meryl was silent.

  “Tell her that now we are forewarned,” Wenda said tightly. “We’ll figure out a way.”

  The hologram continued, but neither Wenda nor the others paid much attention to it. They were holding an intense dialogue. They had very little time to come up with their response to the dreadful deal to be offered.

  “I do not trust Gauche,” Hilarion said. “I have had some experience with military campaigns, I don’t remember when, but I know that no male goblin can be trusted. My guess is that he wants to get the Knot and keep Meryl for torture. His word is worthless.”

  “How can you think that?” Angela asked. “A deal is a deal, even for a bad chief.”

  “You’re an angel,” he said. “What do you think your demon fiancé would say?”

  She shook her head. “Exactly what you just did,” she confessed.

  “So I think Gauche wants to lure us back across the lake with the Knot, then renege. We need to fathom exactly how he will play it.”

  “Couldn’t Jumper read the goblin’s mind?” Angela asked.

  “Yes!” Ida agreed.

  “I’m not sure,” Wenda said. “Suppose we go there, read his mind, and it’s too late to escape the trap?”

  “It would be a mistake to underestimate goblin cunning,” Hilarion agreed.

  “We perhaps need one of us to cross alone,” Ida said. “Keeping the Knot here. Then if it turns out that it’s an honest deal, the rest of us can cross.”

  “No,” Wenda said firmly.

  The others looked at her.

  “Because we can knot give them the Knot,” Wenda said. “The whole point of the Quest is to keep it out of bad hands like that. We can knot make the exchange.”

  “But Wenda—” Angela said.

  “We need to rescue her. Just knot by giving up the Knot.”

  “And I don’t suppose you want us to pretend to be considering yielding the Knot,” Hilarion said.

  “That’s right. They may knot be honest, but we are.”

  “Then what do we have to bargain with?”

  “I do knot know.”

  But now the goblins emerged and came to the shore. They carried a small dirty white flag of truce.

  “And our time is up,” Ida said.

  “We dare not cross to negotiate,” Hilarion said.

  “I agree.”

  “Let me go!” Angela said. “Because I can fly across alone, and not risk the Knot. Maybe I can negotiate something else.” Then, before Ida could agree, she reconsidered. “Whom am I fooling? I have nothing to offer.” Then a bulb flashed over her head. “But Jumper can read the chief’s mind while I talk with him. Then we’ll know for sure whether it’s a trap.”

  “That’s brilliant!” Ida agreed.

  The hologram faded and Jumper reappeared in manform. “Ask him key questions so he’ll think of the answers even if he’s lying, and I can read the truth.”

  “I will,” Angela said. “But if you see danger for me—”

  “I will send you a thought to flee,” Jumper agreed. “If I do, don’t question it. Flee instantly.”

  “I will,” Angela repeated. She flew across the water.

  “Give us the hologram again,” Wenda said. “This time from Gauche’s mind, if yew can.”

  For answer, the hologram reappeared. This time it showed the scene from the goblin chief’s perspective.

  He watched the angel flying across the lake. “I must get her to bring the others,” he said to himself. “She’s not enough by herself.”

  Angela flew closer, and more of her legs showed under her flaring skirt. “Then again, she’s got nice gams. I hope she keeps her elevation as she gets closer, so I can peek at her panties.”

  “He would,” Ida muttered.

  Angela, inexperienced and concerned about possible capture, did maintain her elevation, showing more of her legs. She was not even thinking of such exposure. Wenda thought of asking Jumper to warn her, but decided not to, for two reasons. She was concerned that Jumper might lose focus if he had to do two different telepathic things simultaneously, and realized that the distraction might give Angela an advantage. This might be naughty strategy, but was tolerable.

  Gauche did look, and was increasingly distracted. But his cunning goblin mind remained in control. He had seen enough legs and panties in his day to appreciate them without freaking out. Indeed, the sight stirred memories of goblin girls whose beauty threatened to put the sun’s glory to shame.

  “Wow!” Hilarion breathed, viewing those memory girls in the hologram. “Goblin males may be ugl
y, but goblin females are contrastingly lovely.”

  Angela came to hover almost above Gauche. “I have come to—to negotiate,” she said hesitantly.

  He hardly blinked. “How much to drop down here and let me grab your ass, cutie?”

  This was so far out of bounds that the angel couldn’t understand it. “What is your proposition?”

  “Just spread your legs wide and settle down right here.”

  Now she began to get it. She blushed from her face to the tips of her toes. “Oh! I forgot my legs show!”

  “They sure do, honey! Bring ’em down.”

  Angela closed her legs. “We want to—to—recover our companion, Meryl Mermaid. We will consider any reasonable—”

  “That too,” Gauche said, concealing his irritation at the loss of the panty vision. “We want the Knot. We’ll trade it for the mermaid.”

  “We can’t do that,” Angela said.

  “Okay. Let her tell you the deal.” He snapped his stubby fingers. Gorilla Goblin advanced, carrying a struggling Meryl.

  Meryl spoke her piece, repeating what they had learned telepathically. “So they want an exchange,” she concluded. “And if they don’t get the Knot, they will t-torture me.”

  “We can’t make that deal,” Angela said.

  “Yeah?” Gauche smiled. “Gorilla, you may begin.”

  Gorilla held Meryl before him. “Ha!” he said hungrily.

  “I mean we have to discuss it,” Angela said desperately. “We need to agree about making the exchange.”

  “Just tell the rest to come on over and we’ll do it,” Gauche said. “It’s not complicated.”

  “Yes, it is. We have five remaining members of our party, and they all have to agree. We can’t possibly decide on the spur of the moment.”

  The goblin chief gazed at her closed legs. She seemed innocent, and she was an angel. That meant she wasn’t trying to deceive him. He might yet get the whole party to come across. He made a snap decision. “Okay, cutie. I’ll give you a day and night. After that, Gorilla starts in on the crossbreed, and we’ll go on from there. You think about that. Think about it hard, because you know what we’ll do if we don’t get that Knot.”

  “I—I will tell them,” Angela said. She spun in the air and flew back across the lake.