Ivan (Her Russian Protector #1)

  * * *

  My stomach ached as I entered the interview room where Ruby sat. Her panicked gaze found me. She started to weep into her bandaged hands. "Erin, I'm so sorry."

  "Hey," I whispered and rushed to her. I crouched down and slipped my arms around her shaking shoulders. My nose wrinkled as the scents of dirt, blood and sweat hit my nose. "It's okay."

  "It's not," she sobbed. "Andrei is dead. They killed him!"

  "I'm so sorry, Ruby." Even though I hadn't liked her boyfriend, I'd never wanted him dead. Her painful sobs tore at me. Her whole world was crumbling around her and all I could do was offer a hug and my love.

  "The police told me that some of the Hermanos tried to kill you." She sobbed even harder now. "I never meant for you to get hurt."

  "I know you didn't." I rubbed her back. "I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen."

  "But it did," she wailed.

  I held her as she cried and tried to soothe her. "Ivan is hiring a lawyer right now. He's going to try to get you into the jail rehab program. The detective told me they'll keep you segregated from the other inmates to keep you safe."

  She leaned back and searched my face. "You're not bailing me out?"

  My chest constricted and I prepared for the inevitable screaming match. "No."

  Her lower lip trembled. "Is it because I yelled at you in the hospital?"

  "No, Ruby. That's not why." I pushed some of the dirty strands of hair behind her ear. "If I bail you out, you're going to run away from me and get high. I know it. You know it. You almost died last night. I can't—I won't watch you do it again."

  She grew quiet and still. "Why do you still love me so much?"

  I reeled backwards at her unexpected question. "What? Why would you ask me that?"

  "I killed Mom and Dad."

  "You did not!" I started to cry now. "It was just an accident, Ruby. Even if you had gotten home on time, you might not have realized the house was filling with carbon monoxide. You might have been killed—and then I would have been all alone." I squeezed her hands. "I need you, Ruby. We need each other."

  Ruby cried, the tears streaming down her face and leaving clean lines on her dirt-smudged cheeks. "I want to get clean but I'm so scared."

  "I know you are but you won't be doing it alone. There will be people to help you and I'll visit whenever I can. Even if I can't see you or talk to you, I'll be supporting you, Ruby. You're my sister and I love you." I cupped her cheek. "I love you, Ruby."

  "I love you, Erin." She touched her forehead to mine. "I'm going to get clean. I swear it."

  "I believe you." This time felt different than the others. I had no doubts that she was finally going to take control and face her demons.

  She touched a spot on her arm and drew my attention. Her finger circled the strange drawing on her skin. It looked like a bird. Our gazes met and I frowned. I wanted to ask her what she was trying to tell me but she cut me off before I could even get a word out. "You need to go, Erin."

  "I can stay a little longer."

  She shook her head and wiped at her face. "No, I need you to go. If you stay, I'm going to lose my nerve and beg you bail me out. Go. Please."

  "Okay." I gave her one final hug before rushing out of the interview room—and straight into Ivan's waiting arms. He didn't ask for the details and I was grateful. Instead, he took care of the last remaining items with the detective and ushered me out of the police station.

  Outside, Dimitri and Kostya waited for us. No one spoke a word as we climbed into the SUV idling in the parking lot. Dimitri shot me a reassuring look from the front seat but it was Ivan's strong hand holding mine that kept me from having a complete breakdown during the ride back to his home.

  At first, I couldn't believe that we were going back to his house, especially since it had no electricity and two men had just tried to kill us there. Finally, it occurred to me that going back there was Ivan's way of making a public statement. He wasn't going to be scared out of his home or allow anyone to strong-arm him.

  Considering he'd just taken down a pair of armed assailants with nothing but his bare hands, I figured the Hermanos crew would get the message loud and clear. Ivan was not a man to be fucked with and he sure as hell wasn't going to let them touch me.

  I was surprised to find Ivan's house teeming with men. Some of them I recognized from the gym. Others were strangers to me but obvious friends to Ivan. I didn't have to ask what they were doing there. It was clear they'd come to show support for Ivan.

  He stepped away from me just long enough to talk in quiet tones with Dimitri. His piece said, he took my arm and led me into the house. Someone had placed candles on the available flat surfaces. The subtle glow of candlelight lent a strange ambience to the place. Even so, a flashlight was thrust into Ivan's hand. He flicked it on and used it to light our way upstairs.

  Instead of taking me to the guest room, he led me right into the master suite. He closed the door behind us and walked away from me just long enough to dig a long-handled lighter from a drawer. He lit some of the large scented candles on the dresser. The flickering flames glowed strangely on his shirt and skin.

  Lowering the flashlight beam, he sank down into a big leather chair in the corner of his bedroom. "Come here, angel."

  I ran to him, letting the jacket he'd given to me fall onto the floor. Sobbing, I hurled myself at him and snuggled up tight on his lap. Those powerful arms embraced me. I relished his heat and strength and found such comfort in his soft words and the hand stroking my hair.

  "I know you're frightened but everything is going to be fine, Erin. I promise you. No one is going to harm you."

  Guilt swamped me. I gingerly touched his bruised face. "I'm so sorry you got hurt, Ivan. When I came to you for help, I never imagined it would get this bad."

  He took my hand and kissed my fingertips. "I gave you my protection knowing full well that it could escalate to this level." He held my gaze in the candlelight. "I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat."

  He didn't need to say anything else. I understood then that his feelings for me were just as intense as mine were toward him. "I'm so glad I found you."

  Smiling, he kissed me. "And I'm so glad you were brave enough to come into my gym. I can't imagine never meeting you."

  "I know what you mean. I feel like my life has suddenly been separated into two halves—before Ivan and after Ivan."

  He chuckled softly and nuzzled my neck. "It's the same for me."

  The front of his shirt gaped open. I ran my finger over one of the onion dome tattoos visible there. In better light, the domes had a bluish tint and each one was capped by a small cross. "What do these mean, Ivan?"

  He said something that sounded suspiciously like Russian cursing. "Angel, it's way too late to get into my sordid history. Let's leave it."

  I let my finger move along the tattoo. "But you will tell me eventually?"

  "Yes." He kissed my forehead. "Someday soon, I'll tell you everything—and then you can decide."

  "Decide what?"

  "Whether you still want me."

  He said it as though he feared I wouldn't. I wasn't naïve enough to think that his past was lily white. It was clear from the amount of ink I'd seen on his naked body that Ivan had lived a terrible life before getting onto a straighter path. I prayed that he hadn't done anything unforgivable.

  As I traced his tattoo, my mind returned to the bizarre bird drawing Ruby had shown me. I was sure it meant something but what? I closed my eyes and tried to picture the symbol again. The blurry lines of blue ink became clear in my mind. What was she trying to tell me?

  And then it hit me.