As Dust Dances

  The guys shared a look and then nodded. Micah surprised me by turning to me and offering, “Thanks, Skylar.”

  Tenderness for them welled inside me. “You will always be my family. I know I didn’t treat you right, but I’m going to be here for you from now on, no matter what. I want you all and Macy to succeed because you deserve to. You’ve worked too hard not to.”

  “And you?” Brandon asked. “Are you really okay about this album you’re launching?”

  Unable to meet their eyes, I took a bite of food and used the time to think about how to frame my answer. “They’ve promised me that I don’t have to take part in the social media thing and that once the big blow-up over my return happens, they’ll work their asses off to make sure my private life remains out of the tabloids.”

  “They can’t guarantee that, Sky,” Micah said.

  “I know. But it is possible.”

  Micah shook his head. “Not for you. You have a quality, charisma, it draws people to you. It’s the reason the fans were obsessed with you and why the tabloids came after you.”

  I flushed at his description of me. “Not true. They came after us because of our whole angsty-love thing.”

  “That was part of it, but after the rehab news, they left me alone. When I’m not partying and getting wasted or pining after you, apparently I’m boring.”

  “Micah’s right. I’m worried about you,” Brandon said. “I hate to think you’ve been forced into something you don’t want to do.”

  Pressure, much like anxiety, settled over my chest but I covered the discomfiting feeling with a smile. “I love you guys for caring, but it’s just one album. If things blow up in my face, then I walk.”

  “It’s one album that could have the paps hounding you for a while.”

  “I know.”

  “They’ll be outside your house, your hotels, the places you shop, the restaurants you eat in. They’ll try to hack your phone again, dog your friends—”

  Brandon sighed, “She gets it, Micah. Stop.”

  “Well, I’m worried.” He shrugged.

  “I’m asking you not to be.” I flashed him a cheeky grin and changed the subject. “This frittata rocks.”

  He smiled, pleased. “Yeah, I got pretty good.”

  “We need to get back to the hotel. All our shit is there,” Brandon said. “We were talking and we thought maybe later today Micah and I could visit your record label, meet this Killian guy, and see what it’s all about.”

  Brandon. My protective big brother.

  The thought of them meeting Killian, however . . .”Oh, I’m not sure about that. They run a pretty tight schedule over there. We’d probably have to make appointments and they might not be able to fit us in while you’re here.”

  “Sky,” Brandon gave me his no-nonsense face. “We’re visiting that label. No discussion.”

  I slumped on my stool. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do.”

  After we finished breakfast, I walked the guys downstairs to wait on their cab with them. They shivered in the cold November air. “I hope you brought warmer clothes than that.” I gestured to the shirts they wore over T-shirts.

  “Uh, not really.” They shared a look and chuckled.

  I rolled my eyes. “I think you’re both spending way too much time in LA.”

  “The weather is nice.” Brandon nodded, although his eyes twinkled in a way that reminded me it wasn’t the weather keeping him California.

  “When do you need to get back for Heather?”

  “Soon. Real soon. But I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.”

  “I am okay.”

  “Yeah, we’ll see.” His eyes flew over my shoulder. “That looks like our cab. Come here.” He wrapped his arms around me, bending down to lift me into a hug. I held on, hiding my smile in his shoulder. The knot in my stomach shrunk a little bit more again. When he lowered me, he pressed a kiss to my nose. “I’m calling you in two hours.”

  “Okay.” I grinned, feeling warm and fuzzy that not only had he forgiven me but he still intended to worry over me despite the ocean I’d put between us.

  “Come here.” Micah drew me into a hug. This one I went into more tentatively but when his arms banded tight around me, I couldn’t help but hold him back just as tight. There was too much history and affection there not to. I felt his lips on my shoulder and tensed a little. Micah felt it and lifted his head to stare into my eyes. “I know,” he said. “I get it. It’s going to take me a little more time. That okay?”

  Understanding he meant moving on from seeing us in a romantic light, I nodded and reached up to press a kiss to his cheek, but he turned slightly so the kiss landed on the corner of his mouth. My skin prickled with the scratch of his stubble and I jerked back.

  It was hard not to drown in his mournful gaze right then, but I gently extricated myself and stepped back. “See you soon.”

  Micah got in the cab first so I took the opportunity to grab Brandon’s hand. He frowned and leaned down to me so I could whisper, “He said last night that he needed a drink. Watch him, please.”

  Expression grim, he nodded. “I got his back.”

  I squeezed his hand in thanks and let him go. While I watched the cab pull away, I thought I saw movement in a car across the street—like someone ducking down to hide.

  My pulse skipped in alarm and I squinted to get a better look. Unable to see anything, however, I had to put it down to lack of sleep and general jitteriness after such a big evening. Heading back inside my apartment, all I wanted to do was hit the hay but I knew Brandon and Micah weren’t going to let up about seeing the label and meeting Killian.

  I was about to call Killian when my phone binged with a text.

  Autumn: Are you alone yet? Can I come over? Xx

  Me: Yeah, of course.

  Autumn: I’ll be there in five. Xx

  Wondering if she’d just been at the label and hoping she wasn’t coming over because Killian was mad at me, I sucked in a breath and dialed my boyfriend’s number. Because fuck it. He was my boyfriend.

  It rang off.

  So I called again.

  He picked up. “I’m running out of a meeting into another, Skylar, I don’t have time to talk.”

  He sounded pissed. “Good morning to you too. I thought you’d call.”

  “I’ve been busy.”

  “Too busy to see if I was all right after my band members came back into my life after a near two-year absence?”

  “I gathered it went okay since they slept over.”

  Was that his problem? “Killian, they’re like brothers to me.”

  “Micah isn’t.”

  “Which is why I crashed on my bed with Brandon and Micah took the couch.”

  He went silent and I heard the rustle of movement and then a door closing before he practically growled down the phone. “You shared a fucking bed with one of them?”

  My cheeks flushed. He made it sound like I’d done something wrong. I guess he didn’t realize how much Brandon felt like family to me. “Brandon might as well be blood related, that’s how much he’s like a brother to me. I would never have done that if he weren’t.”

  “He’s not blood related and you did. Jesus, Skylar, you lost the fucking plot when you heard a voicemail from my one-night stand. You expect me to be okay with you sleeping in the same bed as another man?”

  Feeling the situation escalate out of my control, panic fluttered in my chest. “Killian, I promise you that if you see me and Brandon together, you’ll get it. You’ll see we’re like brother and sister.”

  “I take it they’re not leaving anytime soon, then?”

  “They want to make sure I’m okay. And to do that, they want to come to the label today and meet you.”

  “Fine,” he answered immediately, surprising me.

  “Seriously?”

  “Aye, seriously. I want to meet them too.”

  I hesitated . . .”Are you still mad at me?”

  “I don’
t know. How would you feel if you found out I shared a bed with another woman last night?”

  The thought made me want to grind my teeth together. “If that woman was Autumn, then I’d be fine with it. Which is exactly what we’re talking about here and you’ll see that for yourself today.”

  He blew out what sounded like a beleaguered breath.

  My heart clenched at the thought of him being angry with me, but I was also more than a little annoyed. “You know, it would be nice if you could put your jealousy aside to ask me if I’m okay.” When there was no response, an ache flared in my chest. “Okay then, what time should we meet you?”

  “One o’clock should be fine.”

  “See you then.”

  “Skylar.” He stopped me as I was about to hang up. “I missed you too. I miss you whenever you’re not by my side.”

  I closed my eyes as the panic eased but my irritation, and yes, hurt, remained.

  At my silence, his voice lowered. “I’m sorry I’m a jealous prick. Are you okay?”

  I slumped in relief. “Yes, I’m okay. I’ll be even better when I get you alone. After I’m done kissing every inch of you, we can talk about it.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.” I heard the desire in his words. The need. God, I wished he were with me. Unfortunately, I’d have to wait.

  “Before then, I’ll see you at the label.”

  “See you then.”

  I hung up, holding the phone to my chest, wishing that I was able to walk into the label at one o’clock and kiss the surliness right out of Killian O’Dea. Instead I’d have to pretend there was nothing more between us than an album. However, as soon as I got him alone, I was going to rock his world so hard, he’d forget all about being a grumpy pain in my ass.

  Thankfully, keeping me from overthinking the last twenty-four hours, Autumn arrived—with coffee—not long after I hung up with Killian. After we’d settled and I told her how my night with the guys went, she shot me an apologetic look.

  “I got your text while I was with Killian, so you should know he knows about the guys staying overnight.”

  “It’s okay. I got off the phone with him. I know he wasn’t happy about it, but he’ll see when he meets Brandon that there’s absolutely nothing like that between us.”

  “I really don’t think it’s Brandon that worries him. You’ve got to understand, Skylar, Killian researched you before he ever had feelings for you. He found article upon article about your romance with Micah. You guys were everywhere.”

  That panic returned, as I began to fear that I wouldn’t be able to make Killian understand that I no longer was in love with Micah. “Those days are long gone. When I look at Micah now, I don’t feel any of what I used to feel. All that’s left is history, affection, and frustration that he’ll always see the world from his point of view and no one else’s.”

  “Maybe today will help, then. Killian can see you interact.”

  I nodded, hoping she was right. Then I studied my friend and how her perfect makeup was unable to hide the dark circles under her eyes. “You know, all we do lately is talk about me. I know I have a lot of crap going on, but that doesn’t mean I get to let you off the hook. What’s going on with you?”

  Autumn threw me a tired smile. “Nothing.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second.” I had a sudden horrible thought. “Shit. Darren hasn’t been bothering you, has he? You would have told us?”

  She shook her head. “No, Darren is long gone.”

  “Then what is it? Someone new?”

  “Ugh, God no.” Autumn looked even more exhausted by the thought. “The last thing I need is to get into another relationship right now.”

  “Then what is going on with you, Autumn? You mentioned something that’s been bothering me. I didn’t want to push about it because I didn’t think it was my place, but you’re my friend and I think it is my place. You said a while ago that you felt like you were lost.”

  She grimaced. “You have so much more to deal with than me right now. We’re not talking about this.”

  Worry suffused me. “We are talking about this. I’m officially concerned. What’s going on?”

  “I’m just floundering. I feel like I have no purpose. Like I’m useless.”

  “You are not useless. Don’t ever say that.”

  “But what am I doing with my life? I occasionally run errands for Killian but other than that, I spend my days shopping and socializing. How dumb is that?”

  “Hey,” I shook my finger at her, teasing, “there are socialites with over a hundred million Instagram followers. Those millions of followers don’t think they’re dumb.”

  “Well, I do,” Autumn huffed. “Pot meet kettle.”

  “Then what do you want to do about it?”

  “That’s the thing. I don’t even know.”

  We sat in contemplation while I processed her concerns and tried to figure out the most helpful response. The one that came to mind was the one that would piss Killian off the most, but in this instance, I had to put his sister before our relationship. “Maybe you should get away for a while.”

  “Away?”

  “Yeah. Go somewhere different. Somewhere you can think about you and what you want.”

  “Is that what you did?”

  “I ran away. There’s a difference. But if you want to put a less cowardly spin on what I did . . . let’s say I did take off to get some perspective. And it worked. I’m not telling you to run away. I’m telling you that going somewhere, traveling, getting some distance from this city and your life here, might give you some much-needed perspective.”

  Autumn stared at me as if she were having a lightbulb moment. “Get away to find myself. That . . . I think you’re right.” She grinned suddenly. “My friend Catie invited me to this ski resort in Montana next January. I said no because the thought of skiing again after I broke my leg last time scares the crap out of me. But maybe that’s what I need. To face my fears. And Montana is supposed to be beautiful.”

  A wave of nostalgia hit me. “It is. I’m from Montana.”

  Concern crossed her expression at whatever she saw in mine. “I forgot. Do you . . . do you miss it?”

  I shook my head. “It’s a total cliché but I guess there really are truths in clichés: home is where the heart is. There’s nothing left of my heart there. Only memories. So . . . where in Montana?”

  “Um, I can’t remember. Some mountain ski resort. Whiterock . . . or White-something. I’ll find out.”

  “It sounds like a plan.”

  She beamed at me. “I feel better already. Thank you.”

  I grinned and then immediately grimaced. “Just don’t tell your brother it was my idea.”

  WE STOOD IN THE OPEN-PLAN office section of Skyscraper Records, me nervously watching Micah and Brandon as they looked around, taking everything in. Mirroring my complicated, stormy feelings, rain lashed against the windows, the dark clouds outside making the aluminum lighting in the office a glaring, harsher yellow.

  I wanted the guys to be okay with what I was doing here.

  Which was hilarious because I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure I was okay with what we were doing here. Not the album. I was proud of the album.

  Annoyed that we’d been waiting ten minutes and Killian still hadn’t deigned to show up, I shot Justin at reception an impatient look. He grimaced. “Eve said he’s on a conference call. He’ll be out as soon as he’s done.”

  I nodded and turned to Brandon. “What are you thinking?”

  “Not a lot to think about right now.” He glanced at the framed posters by the elevator. “They’ve signed some pretty fucking great artists lately though.”

  “Agreed.” Micah’s reluctance to admit that was obvious in the way he tucked in the corner of his mouth.

  “Skylar.”

  Killian’s voice made my skin tingle and I whirled to watch him stride past reception. He wore black suit trousers and a dark red cashmere sweater
that molded to his body perfectly. After I’d told him red suited him, I noticed he wore it more often. God, it was awful not being able to walk up to him and put my arms around him. And I really needed that right then. I needed a hug from the one I loved most.

  Eve followed behind him and I pasted on a professional smile. “Killian, Eve, hi. Thanks for taking time to meet Micah and Brandon.”

  “Not a problem.” Killian nodded, giving me a thin-lipped smile before he turned to Brandon. “Brandon, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Killian O’Dea.”

  Brandon shook his hand, eyeing him speculatively. “You too.”

  Sensing that was all he was going to get out of my ex-bandmate for now, Killian let go and offered the same hand to Micah. “Micah.”

  Micah stared at it for a second and for an awful moment, I thought he wasn’t going to accept it. Finally, however, to my great relief, he reached out and took my boyfriend’s hand. “I’m here to make sure no one is messing with my girl.”

  Killian’s expression hardened and I didn’t know if it was the insinuation that he would “mess” with me or Micah referring to me as his girl. I had a feeling it was both. “I’m taking good care of Skylar.”

  Not “we.” “I’m.”

  Shit. He needed to watch that. “Yes, the team here has been wonderful,” I interjected. “For instance, Eve has been very helpful.”

  Eve blushed and gave an adorable little wave. “Hi. I’m Eve, Killian’s assistant. I’m also a huge fan of Tellurian.”

  Micah and Brandon grinned at her. “Nice to meet you.” Brandon stuck out a hand and her eyes widened as she tentatively reached out to take it.

  “I’m shaking Brandon Kline’s hand,” she whispered audibly.

  Killian rubbed a hand over his mouth to cover a smile and I thought how changed he was from the first time I stepped into this building. Eve’s fangirling used to bother him. Now it amused him.

  Brandon chuckled and let go of Eve’s hand.

  “Do you want to shake mine?” Micah offered with laughter in his voice.

  “Uh-huh.” Eve nodded and her expression clearly stated, “I’ve died and gone to heaven” as Micah shook her hand, clasping it in both of his for good measure. He gave her his flirty eyes and I swear, I thought she was going to melt in a puddle at his feet.