Unconditional Love

  The last thing I wanted to do was talk to Paul right now.

  I sat on the hood of the jeep and watched the sunset as I wondered what Azurdee was doing. I felt someone slap me on the back and I glanced over to my left and saw Skip standing there smiling.

  “You’re deep in thought, Lieutenant. What’s going on? I don’t think you’ve ever been this quiet.”

  I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Probably just tired from all the wedding bullshit.”

  Skip laughed and said, “Don’t even be thinking of settling down like that crazy-ass friend of yours. I need your head clear.”

  I gave him a weak smile and nodded my head. “Roger that, sir.”

  Skip and I always addressed each other properly when on a mission. We never went by first names. Away from this madness and he was probably one of my best friends.

  “Damn, I swear the sunsets in Venezuela are some of the most beautiful I’ve seen.”

  I nodded my head and the ache in my heart grew ten times worse. What in the hell was wrong with me? I couldn’t get Azurdee out of my head. I hated that I had to leave her and hoped like hell she understood.

  Skip gave me a good slap on the back and said, “Come on. Get some sleep. Y’all head out at oh-five-hundred.”

  Once I got to my quarters, I pulled up Azurdee’s text message.

  I took a deep breath and hit reply.

  Me: Just wanted to say I won’t be able to text ya for a few days but know I’m thinking of you. I’ll text you when I’m able to.

  Azurdee: Okay. No worries. I’ve decided to head back to Austin tomorrow and check on things at the new restaurant.

  I took in a breath.

  Me: I’m really sorry I had to leave you like that, Azurdee. I hope you know I had no choice.

  Azurdee: I understand, so please don’t worry. I’ll be thinking of you, Lark.

  I took a deep breath and decided to just be honest with her…and myself.

  Me: I miss you, Azurdee. I just got you and I had to let you go. It’s killing me inside because I want to feel your body next to mine. I want to breathe in your smell and get lost in your kiss.

  Azurdee: I miss you too, Lark. I feel the same way. I’ve been trying to shake this feeling all day. I’ve just missed your touch. The sound of your voice and what you feel like inside of me. But just think how nice it will be when you get back!

  Me: I’ve got to run. I’ll talk to you in a few days.

  Azurdee: Okay. See ya in a few days.

  I tossed my phone aside and put my head in my hands. “Fuck!” I called out. The second I read her response back to me I had to stop talking to her. I can’t let this girl affect me like this. I didn’t want to care about Azurdee, but I did. More than I wanted to admit. I cared enough to be exclusive with her and just like that, she was missing me today. Missing my touch and what I felt like inside of her.

  Son of a bitch. I needed to forget about her for just a few days. My phone beeped and I was afraid it was Azurdee. I picked it up to see I had a text message from Sherry.

  Sherry: You in town? I need to release some stress and I need a good hard fuck right now.

  Sherry had been my fuck buddy since before I joined the Marines. Neither one of us wanted a relationship with each other. It was purely sex and a way for both of us to release stress.

  I clenched my jaw as I wrote back.

  Me: Sorry. Out of town working.

  Sherry: Can you Face Time, baby? Come on…I need you.

  Me: I can’t. People are around. Go find that guy Mark you’ve been fucking.

  Sherry: Lark. I don’t want Mark. I want you. Please baby…I have my dildo right here and I know how you like to watch me use it. I want to hear you get off to me getting off.

  I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. Now that Azurdee was in the picture, I wasn’t sure how to handle the whole Sherry thing.

  Me: Sorry sweetheart. I’ve got to run. Have fun!

  I turned off my phone and set it on the side table. I needed to get my head clear. I lay down and slowly began concentrating on my breathing to relax myself. Before I knew it my head was completely clear and I was drifting off to sleep.

  We had begun our hike up Pico Bolivar early this morning. I had Jason Philips with me, and a new guy, Ricker. I’ve worked with Jason many times, but never with and Ricker. I stopped and looked back at them. They might be expert riflemen but they sucked at physical endurance.

  “Come on ladies, my mother could move up this mountain faster than you pansy asses.”

  “Fuck off, Lieutenant,” Sergeant Philips said. I smiled as I made my way up to our check-in point.

  I sat down and began glassing the area we were headed. “Sergeant, call in our location,” I said in a low voice.

  “Yes sir, calling in our location.”

  We sat there for a few minutes so they could both drink and get rested up for the rest of the hike up. I could have kept going but these two pussies needed a break. I let out a deep breath and wished they would give me a Navy SEAL to partner up with. Those bastards are in-shape motherfuckers.

  I stood up and grabbed my shit and kicked Sergeant Philips. “Let’s go.”

  One of the things I liked about my job was the fact that I could sit for hours in silence and not think about anything but what I was set to do. We’d spent the night up here and that was exactly what I needed to clear my head. I glanced down at my watch. The target should be showing up soon. I looked through my scope at the small village below. Things seemed to be normal and nothing looked out of place. The target was supposed to show up with limited bodyguards and in an open jeep. That made my job a hell of a lot easier. I put my headphones on and hit play on my iPod. I listened to the same song every time, “Gotta Be Tonight” by Lifehouse.

  I looked back and gave them the signal to the countdown. Five minutes later, my target was pulling up in a jeep. I settled into position, looked into my scope, and let out the breath I was holding as I squeezed the trigger.

  Two minutes later we were humping back out as fast as we could, making our way to the extraction site.

  As we made our way down, the new guy, Sergeant Ricker said, “Shit. If my girlfriend ever found out what I did for a living, she’d probably leave me.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him. “What?”

  He held up his hands and said, “Oh no sir, I don’t talk to her about what I do. She just knows I’m in the Marines.”

  I shook my head and said, “No, why would she leave you?”

  He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know. To me, killing someone like that douchebag is no big deal, but I’m not sure how she would feel. Ya know?”

  “Lieutenant, we have to get a move on to make it to the extraction site on time,” Sergeant Philips said.

  I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling I had as we made our way down the mountain. If Azurdee ever found out what I did, would she leave me? I was so lost in thought I wasn’t paying attention and slipped on a rock and tumbled forward, hitting the side of my face on a rock as I made my way to a stop.

  “Fuck, Lieutenant Williams, are you okay?” Ricker asked.

  “Shit, Lark, what the fuck?” Jason said.

  I wiped the blood away and kept moving. “I’m fine. Let’s just get the fuck out of here. I’m ready to get home.”

  As we sat in the helicopter and made our way back to the base, Ricker leaned over and said, “Lieutenant, I just wanted to say I’d never in my life seen anyone shoot so damn accurate at that far of a distance. No wonder they say you’re the best.”

  I smiled and nodded my head and closed my eyes, giving him a sign I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. My head was killing me and I knew I was going to end up with a black eye all from a stupid-ass mistake. I couldn’t afford to make mistakes in what I do. I knew Skip would give me hell about this and ask a million questions. To him I was perfect and never made a mistake. Bad enough I was a Marine, but I was a Marine working for the CIA.

/>   As I jumped off the helicopter and made my way over to the medic, Skip grabbed my arm and pulled me off to the side.

  “What in the fuck happened?” he asked, with a cigar hanging out of his mouth. Skip was five years older than me and was a built motherfucker. He stood about two inches shorter than me, with brown hair and blue eyes. The girls went crazy for him.

  I pulled my arm from his grip and asked, “What do you mean? I did the job. Target is dead and we extracted with no problems. I’m ready to get the fuck home.”

  He looked up to the cut above my eye. He reached for my chin and grabbed it and turned my head as he pointed to my right eye. “This. What the fuck happened to you? You never called in that you were hurt.”

  I pulled my head back and took a step away. “Jesus Christ, Skip. It’s just a cut.”

  “It’s Agent Martin, Lieutenant Williams.”

  I let out a sigh and shook my head. “I tripped and fell. It’s nothing.”

  He just looked at me. “Something hasn’t been right with you since I first saw you a few days ago. You want to tell me what’s going on?”

  All I could see was Azurdee’s eyes as I made love to her for the first time. I shook my head and cleared the image from my thoughts. “I just need to get laid, sir.”

  A smile slowly spread across his face. “That’s it? I was thinking that wedding was messing with your goddamn mind. Making you think you might want what your friend has.”

  I laughed and said, “Fuck no. Marriage is the last thing on my mind.”

  He put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a small shake. “Good. Lark, you can’t afford to be having some girl get in the way of what we do. Trust me. It fucks with your head and before you know it you’re fucking up left and right. I picked you for a reason, son. Your time is almost up in the Corps and I want you with us in the CIA. That means money and more action.”

  I nodded my head and he winked as he said, “Go get your head checked out. That bitch looks bad.”

  As I walked over to the medic, I let out a chuckle. Fuck, I didn’t care about the money. Tristan and I had inherited more money than we would ever need from our grandparents. Plus with the trust fund from my other grandparents, I had more money than I knew what to do with. It was never about the money. It was always about the job and the thrill I got from the danger of it all.

  Something was slowly starting to shift ever since the day a beautiful brown-haired beauty smiled at me and woke something up deep down inside me.

  I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. Fuck. How was I going to explain this to Azurdee?

  I didn’t need stitches, but my eye was swollen and starting to turn black and blue. I flopped down on my bunk and let out a sigh. There was a knock on my door and I yelled, “Come in.”

  Skip poked his head in and said, “We leave at oh-six-hundred. Make sure everything is ready to go. We’re heading into town. If you want that pussy, I bet we could find you a sweet little puta to help ya out.”

  “Nah, I’m exhausted. I think everything from the wedding is catching up to me. I’ll make up for it when I get home. Besides, Sherry wants a FaceTime fuck session.” I had no plans on FaceTiming Sherry, but Skip didn’t need to know that. I’d told Skip about Sherry a while back, so it wasn’t something he would question. I’d turned down going out before to FaceTime with her.

  “All right, but I bet a real woman with her lips wrapped around your dick is just what you need.” He laughed and shut the door. I let out a sigh and got up and walked to the shower and turned it on hot. I turned my cell phone on and then stripped out of my clothes and got into the shower.

  Damn, it felt so good to have the hot water run over my body. My eye stung like a son of a bitch, but I quickly got over it. I closed my eyes and pictured myself fucking Azurdee against the wall in the shower. I let out a moan as I could practically feel her body against mine. I moved my hand down to my dick and began stroking it as I thought about Azurdee. The look in her eyes when I came inside her for the first time. The sweet little noises she made while I fucked her hard from behind.

  I began stroking myself faster and could feel the build up. Fuck I was getting close. My damn phone rang and for some crazy reason I thought it might be Azurdee. I quickly jumped out of the shower and about busted my ass as I swiped my finger across the screen without paying attention to who was calling.

  “Hello!” I said, as I panted hard and fast.

  “Michael? Are you okay? Oh God, am I interrupting you having sex?”

  Wait. What in the hell?

  “Mom?”

  “Hello, darling. Am I interrupting anything? Do you have a girl with you?” she asked in the most nonchalant way.

  “Um…I was um…” I couldn’t even think straight. What in the hell is wrong with me? I was whacking myself off in the shower and now I’m talking to my mother. I reached for a towel and quickly dried off.

  “Michael, if you’re with a girl, just call me back.”

  I quickly shook my head and wanted out of this conversation. “Mom! For shit’s sake, I’m not with a girl. I was in the shower and I thought you were Azurdee and I didn’t want to miss her call and…”

  Oh shit. Fuck me. I’ve just opened up Pandora’s box.

  I heard her let out a little squeal and I was pretty sure she clapped her hands. “My oh my. What a beautiful name. Now who is this Azurdee girl? Michael, did you meet her at the wedding yesterday? What does she look like? What does she do for a living? Oh please tell me she doesn’t know you have money, sweetheart. You know how women can be.”

  “Mom. Please just stop with the questions,” I said as I ran my hand through my wet hair. I looked down at my poor dick and sighed.

  “Well, I’m sorry but that is the first time you’ve mentioned a girl’s name in years. I’m just curious. Can a mother be curious about what is going on in her son’s life?”

  “Sure you can, Mom, as long as that son is Tristan and not me. Hey, speaking of, did you know he is dating someone?” I said as I sat down on the bed and let out a small laugh.

  “Don’t even try that with me, young man. Come on. Spill it.”

  I let out a loud groan and said, “Fine, Mom. If I tell you a little bit about her, will you drop it?”

  “Yes.”

  I could picture her now with her fingers crossed and a wide smile on her face.

  “Azurdee is Jessie’s best friend from college. I met her last year right after Christmas. No, she has no idea how much money I have, nor does she care. She owns a coffee shop in Wimberley, Texas and is fixin’ to open a small restaurant. Her father is filthy rich but she won’t take a dime from her parents. She’s beautiful, with long dark hair and caramel eyes that sparkle in the daylight, she speaks Spanish and we just started…” I trailed off. What did we just start? Fucking? Dating? Could you call it dating when all we’ve done is had sex?

  “Michael Lark Williams. You like this girl,” my mother said, with shock pouring out of her voice.

  “Well of course I like her, Mother, I’ve…”

  “You’ve what?”

  “Um…well I’ve um. I’ve ah…it doesn’t matter. There. I told you about her. Now can we drop it?”

  She let out a laugh. “You have to bring her down to the ranch. What about Christmas? Tristan is bringing his friend. It would be wonderful to have you bring a friend home, Michael. Please say yes.”

  “Wait. Tristan is bringing a girl home?” I asked as I quickly put my mother on speakerphone and sent a text to Tristan:

  Me: What in the fuck? You’re bringing a girl home for Christmas? Are you out of your damn mind?

  Tristan: Yes I am. I’m bringing Ryn home. She’s fun and not looking for anything. Plus it buys me time with mom.

  My mother was going on and on about Tristan’s girlfriend. She had no idea that Tristan had been fucking two different girls at once since he couldn’t decide which one he liked better.

  Me: What about Liberty? I thought you liked Liberty.
/>
  Tristan: I do like Liberty but she keeps talking commitment. Ryn is more of the type who just goes with the flow.

  Me: She won’t be once you bring her home to meet the ma and pop. Jesus dude, nothing spells commitment like bringing the girl home to meet the parents. Are you out of your mind?

  Tristan: Fuck off Lark and go back to doing what it is you do best, avoiding feelings altogether. At least I’m happy.

  I stared at my brother’s last text. “Michael, are you even listening to me?”

  “Yeah, sorry, Mom. So Tristan is bringing home Ryn, huh?”

  “Yes. And oh, honey, it would be amazing if you brought Azurdee home, too.”

  I rolled my eyes and said, “Sorry, Mom. That’s not going to happen. I just started um…we’re just taking it one day at a time, so don’t be going and getting your hopes up. I’m perfectly happy with the way my life is going.”

  I heard my mother let out a sigh. “Well, if you happen to change your mind.”

  “I won’t. Listen, Mom, I need to get dressed. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Tell Dad I said hi and I’ll see y’all a few days before Christmas.”

  “Okay darling. Please call me if you need anything, Michael. You know I just want you to be happy. I want you to find love, honey. You deserve it. We will see you soon.”

  I dropped my head and barely said, “I know you do, Mom, and I wish I believed that. I’ve got to run, Mom. I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  I hung up and sat there staring down at my phone. I saw that I had four text messages and two voicemails. My heart began beating in my chest as I opened up the text messages.

  Not one was from Azurdee. I didn’t know why I felt so disappointed by that. I told her I would call her when I could.

  I scrolled through them and they were all Sherry begging for a FaceTime fuck session.

  I deleted them all and then went to my voicemail. One from Sherry and one from Scott. I listened to Sherry’s first.

  Lark. I need you desperately. Come on baby, call me back and the next time I see you I promise you can fuck my ass and screw me until your dick doesn’t work anymore. I just need you this one time. Baby, please.