The Beast Within

  While Teren worked on regaining his composure, I turned my attention to my father lying stiff and still beside us. His eyes tightened as I approached. He probably thought I was going to rip him to pieces for what he’d done to Nika. Maybe I should. But this cycle of violence had to stop somewhere. And it was going to stop with me.

  Kneeling beside my dad, I inhaled a calming breath; it was a struggle. I felt like my entire body was vibrating. “You probably think I’m going to kill you. I’m sure you would kill me if our situations were reversed, and you had the upper hand.” I shook my head. “I’m not, though. I’m not angry at you anymore. I’m not upset about what you did to me.” I glanced over at Nika’s unmoving body. “I’m not even upset over what you did to her. Not entirely. You felt you had no other choice. I get that. But I have several choices, and I’m not going to take the easiest one right now.”

  Feeling steadier, both physically and emotionally, I stared him down, trapping him in my hypnotic gaze. Voice calm, I said, “I want you to listen to me very carefully, and follow my instructions to the letter.” The residual defiance left Dad’s eyes as he stared at me. When his expression was tranquil, I told him, “I want you to call off the attack at the ranch. Tell them to retreat, that you have new information that can’t be ignored. Have them all meet you at our old house in Salt Lake. Then I want you to call every single person who knows about me or the Adams. Have them all meet you at the same house. You will not remember me telling you to do this. You will believe that you are going to tell them something of the utmost importance, and you will be adamant that they meet you there in the next twenty-four hours.”

  Dad nodded. Reaching into his jacket pocket, I pulled out his cell phone and extended it to him. “Go ahead and call them.”

  Free to move, Dad took the phone and called a number. As he brought the cell to his ear, I glanced back at Teren and Nika. Nika was the same, Teren had composed himself some and was watching me with curious eyes. I smiled at him, sure my plan was going to work. I was going to end this once and for all.

  When the line picked up, Dad’s gruff voice broke the silence. “It’s me. Change of plans. Stop whatever it is you’re doing, gather up everyone, and meet me at the house I was renting in Salt Lake, the one I told you about.” There was a pause as the other person spoke. I could hear they were upset; I could also hear fighting in the background. Dad’s expression darkened. “I don’t care if you have them cornered. I’ve got something much bigger than the Adams, something of utmost importance. Gather everyone and wait for me at the house. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Now go!”

  He hung up the phone with such assurance that I knew he felt positive the other man would obey. It worried me some that the hunters had “cornered” my family, but worrying about it wouldn’t do me any good. When Dad finished with that conversation, he started in on the others. I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked back at Teren again. At least the ranch was safe now. That was one positive to come out of this mess.

  Teren’s phone rang as he lovingly tucked a strand of hair behind Nika’s ear. He closed his eyes before pulling it out of his pocket, and answered it without even looking to see who it was. After he said hello, I recognized Emma’s concerned voice. “What happened? Is Nika okay? Julian says he can’t feel her emotions anymore. Why, Teren? What’s going on?”

  Curiosity swelled in me. Julian could feel Nika’s emotions? That explained a few things, like Julian showing up just in the nick of time when I’d inadvertently scared Nika with the fang markings on my sister’s urn. He’d known she was terrified.

  Teren’s voice cracked when he told Emma what had happened to their daughter. My chest squeezed with pain as I remembered it. Emma started crying, and I momentarily cursed my enhanced ears. Teren soothed her with comforting words about Nika being fine once she finished her conversion. He sounded surer of her completing the process than he looked. When Emma’s sobs eased, he asked, “Have the hunters left the ranch? Are you safe?”

  Emma hiccupped, then softly told him, “Yes. They all fled a couple of minutes ago. Halina chased after a couple of them, but several got away…”

  Gritting my teeth, I spoke loud enough that Emma would hear me. “It’s okay. They won’t get away for long.”

  While Teren consoled his wife, I turned back to my father. He’d finished with his calls, and was looking at me with impatient eyes. Thanks to my instructions, he now wanted to be away from me. He wanted to meet up with those hunters, and pass on his “vital’ information. In his mind, he had a highly important mission that didn’t involve me. Only, it did involve me. The plan I’d just put into motion only involved me; my father wasn’t needed anymore. Now that every person who could possibly want to harm the Adams or myself was on their way to one specific location, Dad was free to retire.

  Locking gazes with him, I said, “I want to thank you for all the years you kept me alive. For doing your best raising Evangeline and me after Mom died. For teaching me everything I know.” With a smirk, I amended that. “Almost everything. The Adams have added on to your lessons a bit. Compassion, understanding…acceptance…forgiveness.” Dad didn’t react to my statement. He couldn’t. I hadn’t given him permission to talk freely. Wanting to keep this simple, I left him mute. “I’m going to do something you wouldn’t let me do. I’m going to let you live, and I’m going to give you a new life. I’m going to wipe your mind of everything and let you start fresh. But, before I do, I want you to know, I forgive you for all of it, Dad.”

  Dad’s eyes widened, and his mouth opened in silent protest. He knew what I was about to do. I was obliterating him as surely as if I were driving a stake through his heart. But unlike an actual death, he would rise from the ashes of his destruction, and he’d be a better man for it.

  As I started to speak, Teren grabbed my arm. He was still on the phone with his wife, but he was giving me a contemplative expression. I wasn’t sure why he was stopping me—my father had to be wiped or killed. There were no other options.

  He chewed on his lip for a moment, then told me, “You could keep him…as your father. Erase the parts about him being a hunter, but keep the parts about him being your family. Let him know you’re a vampire, or hide it, that part is completely up to you, but it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”

  I sat back on my heels as I stared over at him. “He hunted your family, shot your best friend, killed your daughter…and you would be okay with him staying in my life? In Nika’s life?”

  Teren’s jaw tightened, and I knew what he really wanted to say. He didn’t say it, though. Instead, he told me, “Family is important. It’s possibly the most important thing there is. And if there is a way for you to keep at least one member of yours…then, yes, I think you should.”

  I smiled, pleased beyond belief that he would offer me that kind of comfort after everything I’d brought down upon his loved ones. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I whispered, “I’m not losing my family by wiping him clean, Teren. Halina, Nika…you… I have more family now than I ever could have hoped for. I’m okay with this. Keeping him around would just remind me of a past I’m not proud of, a past I’d sooner forget.”

  Teren gave me a small smile and a stiff nod. Turning back to my father, I gave him a final once-over. The scar on his jaw from a vampire in St. Louis, healed puncture marks on the side of his hand, worry lines around his eyes, weariness in the hollow of his cheeks. Had our life, our mission, given him any joy at all? I tried to remember the last time I’d seen him truly happy. It was well before Mom had died. Well before she’d gotten sick even. It was probably decades ago, back when Mom was alive and hunting by his side. Dad had darkened after her death. He’d buried her fang-marked urn in Missouri. He’d said she deserved her rest after a lifetime on the road. I think it had just been too hard for him to keep her close. I knew it had felt that way sometimes with my sister. Nika keeping watch over her ashes for me had actually been a blessing in disguise.

  “Dad, when I’m d
one speaking, you won’t remember a thing about me…”

  After I was finished reprogramming him, I helped him get back to his truck. It was parked quite a bit away, along the side of the highway. I ordered him to wait beside the truck while I cleaned out the inside. I removed everything that might have given him some clue about who he really was—all his weapons, all of his notes and journals, and a picture of my sister and I that I found tucked in the visor. I did the same with him, removing everything but his cash and his license from his wallet, and every concealed weapon. I also took back the device he’d used to track me. He wouldn’t be needing it now. When I was done, I had one of his large duffel bags slung over my shoulder, filled to bursting with a hunter’s arsenal.

  “You can get in now,” I warmly told him as I held open the door.

  He nodded with a polite smile. “Thank you, young man.”

  I hid a smile as he climbed into the truck. I was already a stranger to him. Giving him one final command, I said, “I want you to keep driving north until you’re almost out of gas. Whatever city you end up in, I want you to stay there, find a job, and begin your new life. And I want you to be happy, optimistic, at peace. Life is full of promise, if you take the time to look for it.” I smirked at my own sentimental ramblings. With a shake of my head, I finished with, “You won’t remember me helping you, the second you start to drive away.”

  He blinked at me with a blank expression, and I gently closed his door. He proceeded to start his truck and pull away from me as if nothing odd had just happened to him. Staring after his taillights, I whispered into the darkness, “Thank you for saving my life.” Then I wished him the best, turned around, and let him go.

  When I got back to Teren, he was still with his daughter. He looked up when I stepped into his ring of light. “Her stomach has healed. That’s a good sign. The conversion is working.” His voice was bittersweet, tired with emotion.

  Indicating her stone-still body, I asked, “How long will it take before she…wakes up?”

  “Pureblood conversions take at least twenty-four hours,” he whispered.

  “Let’s take her home,” I replied.

  Teren started to scoop her into his arms, but I leaned down to stop him. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to carry her.”

  He raised an eyebrow in question. “Do you feel strong enough?”

  I nodded. The silver was finally gone. The only exhaustion I felt now was emotional, but I wouldn’t let that stop me from taking care of her. Teren stared at me for a second longer, then slowly rose to his feet. I knelt to take his place, sweeping Nika into my arms. She felt feather-light as I held her to my chest, and she offered no resistance as her arms dangled and her head fell back. She was dead, her heart silent, her breath stopped. But she would live again. This wasn’t the end.

  As Teren watched me holding his daughter, I remembered that he’d taken a bullet for me. Pursing my lip, I indicated his back. “You okay?”

  He grimaced, like he wasn’t looking forward to something. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. But the bullet will have to be removed.”

  My face tightened in sympathy. I could easily imagine how much that would suck. Vampires might heal quickly, but we still felt pain. “You took a bullet for me. Thank you.”

  His eyes flicked down to Nika. “You’re family,” he whispered.

  It took Teren and me a long time to get back to the ranch. He offered numerous times to take Nika from me, but I didn’t want to let her go. I was attached to her already, like a pre-bond was anchoring itself into my heart. I couldn’t stomach the thought of not being close to her. I knew without a doubt that things were going to be different from now on, and for more than one reason. Nika had been the love of my life before, but now she was a part of my soul. We were connected as deeply as two people could be connected.

  When we got within a few miles of the ranch, another bond pulsed through me, warming me. Halina. She held the other corner of my soul. When Teren and I reached the circular drive of the ranch, one of the three sets of front doors burst open, and a multitude of streaking bodies rushed out to meet us. They were followed more slowly by the group of humans who I shared a home with.

  Halina tossed her arms around me, murmuring tender Russian words that filled me with peace. Or maybe that was just her presence. I looked her over, anxious for any physical sign of trauma upon her, but aside from some bloody smears and tears in her clothing, she appeared fine. Any wounds had healed long ago. Her long, dark hair whipping around her in the breeze, she turned her attention to her granddaughter.

  With a sigh, she ran her fingers across her forehead. “Nika,” she murmured, sadness in her eyes.

  The rest of the family crowded around Nika, anxious to see her. There wasn’t much to see, besides her lifeless body, her T-shirt soaked with blood. Julian pushed his way through the family to get to his sister. His eyes bloodshot, he grabbed her face and twisted her to look at him. “Nick? Can you hear me? Are you okay? Please don’t be dead…please.”

  “She’ll be fine, Julian. She’s converting right now.” Supporting Nika’s weight with one hand, I tentatively reached out to him. He flinched away from my touch.

  “What the hell did you do to her!” he yelled at me.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but Teren beat me to it. “He saved her life, Julian. Without him, I’d be bringing home a corpse.”

  There was sniffling in the group, sounds of light crying. My eyes roved over every member of my nest, looking for anyone who might be missing. Aside from Gabriel and his group, everyone seemed to be there—Emma, Imogen, Alanna, Jack, Linda, and oddly enough, an older couple I didn’t know; Teren introduced them as Ben and Tracey. Their daughter, Olivia, was resting upstairs. While the humans looked exhausted, and a little scratched up—Ben had one hell of a black eye—none of them seemed severely injured. It would appear they’d successfully held off their attackers. If it weren’t for the body in my arms weighing down my joy, I would have been beaming with pride.

  Wanting to get Nika inside, into a warm bed where she could rest in comfort, I stepped forward. The crowd parted like the sea, allowing me access to the house. Arianna was waiting inside the entryway; she looked on the verge of an emotional collapse. She took one look at Nika’s body in my arms and immediately broke down into hysterics.

  “Nika, no!” She rushed up to me, touching Nika’s body, feeling her sodden shirt, fumbling for a pulse in her throat, trying to warm her chilly extremities. She kept repeating no, over and over, and no matter how many times I told her Nika would be fine, she didn’t seem to believe me. She didn’t even seem to hear me. Julian eventually had to pull her off Nika and forcibly lead her toward the entryway. I was sure the girl needed a Valium. Someone should take her home. She was in a severe state of shock, as was most of the teary-eyed family.

  I headed for the underground levels of the home, since Nika would need protection from the sun now. I was astonished at the disaster that surrounded me. Tables were knocked over, vases full of flowers shattered, their pools of water staining the floor. Portraits on the wall were crooked, if not fallen. An ornate painting of a sunrise was ripped in half. Dozens of windows were shattered; shards of glass covered the ground like a crystalline carpet. The walls had huge craterlike cracks in them, like bodies had been thrown against the plaster. The furniture was torn, toppled, broken. Bloody smears and droplets were everywhere. It looked like a warzone, which of course, it had been.

  The bookcase entrance to the secret bedrooms had been completely ripped from the wall. It was lying on its side, partially blocking the hall, its contents spilling everywhere. I sighed as I stepped over the piles. All this chaos, because of me. I could hear family members quietly following me as I took Nika to my room. When I paused to open my door, a voice behind me said, “We have other rooms. She doesn’t need to be in yours.”

  I looked back at Teren, watching me with furrowed brows. “She will want to be with me.” I glanced between him and his wife. “You unde
rstand?” Teren opened his mouth, but shut it instantly as he locked gazes with Emma. He understood how the bond worked. Nika would need to be with me now. We would both need it.

  Everyone gathered around the doorway while I placed her on my bed. Even though she wouldn’t need its warmth, I covered her with a blanket. I didn’t want to look at the blood anymore. I also didn’t want to disrespect Nika by changing her while she rested.

  Emma entered the room and stood beside me. Looking down at her daughter, she whispered, “Thank you for bringing her home. Thank you for saving her life.” When I met eyes with her, hers were wet. “If you wouldn’t mind, Teren and I would like to be alone with our daughter for a while.”

  I nodded, and left the parents to their grief. I naturally gravitated toward Halina. She stared at me a moment, sighed, then wrapped her arms around me again. A feeling of completeness washed over me as she held me, and I knew with absolute certainty, I would never try to leave her again.

  I WAS AN emotional basketcase. A part of me wanted to go downstairs and be with my sister, and another part of me wanted to stay as far away from her as possible. Looking at her now would be too painful, would only emphasize the void in my soul. I couldn’t feel her emotions anymore. Granted, her feelings would have been quiet anyway, since she was…resting…but this was different. They were gone. Stripped away. I felt raw inside, like I’d had a bandage removed and my skin stung. It went deeper than my skin, though. The ache went to the bone.

  I wasn’t the only one negatively affected by the sight of my sister. Arianna was borderline psychotic as she endlessly paced up and down the cobblestone driveway. The entire time she moved, she muttered, “She’s dead. My best friend is dead. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this…” I wanted to tell her Nika wasn’t really dead, but I was too shell-shocked to speak. Like it or not, things would be different now.