For Now

  “Fine,” I say. “Fine. And I’m not trying to be ungrateful. Because I’m not. This is… this is a lot, Javi. Thank you.” He puts his arms around me and holds me close in the middle of the furniture store.

  “You’re welcome, Haze.”

  Because he refused to pay a delivery fee, we head to the back of the warehouse and Javi and a few of the guys who work at the store load everything into his truck.

  “How in the hell are you going to get that into my room?” I ask, realizing the bed is going to be bigger than my previous one.

  “It’ll work. We might need to move some things around, but it will work. Trust me.” I’m going to have to take his word for it, because I don’t see how this is going to work. Maybe if the bed doesn’t fit I can convince him to take it back and get the cheap one.

  “What the hell?” Shannon says when we walk through the door, me carrying the lamp, and Javi with the chair.

  “We went furniture shopping,” I say as I take the lamp into my bedroom. The old frame is gone.

  “Where did my bed go?” Jett shoves his hands in his pockets and Shannon pretends to look innocent.

  “We got it out of the way. Javi called and said you’d be bringing in something new so you’d need the old one out of there. It’s now resting peacefully in the Dumpster,” Shannon says. “That was brilliant, by the way. Breaking your bed to get a new one. I should try that.”

  “You can have mine, princess,” Jett says. “I’d be happy to bring it here.” Shannon shoots him a look and he doesn’t say anything else. Huh. Looks like there’s some tension at the mention of Jett moving his things here. I mean, it does seem silly that they both pay rent at two places when they practically live together now. But I’ve decided to stay out of Shannon’s relationships. Look how much good I did last time I meddled. It’s a miracle Shannon is still speaking to me, let a alone living with me.

  We all head back down to Javi’s truck and what ensues is very reminiscent of the FRIENDS episode where they try to move a couch. Only Shannon and I are the ones who keep yelling “PIVOT!” Jett and Javi don’t find it as hilarious as we do.

  “We don’t need to pivot!” Javi yells and I just stick my tongue out at him. We finally get the base of the frame into my room and miracle of miracles, it does actually fit. Guess I underestimated the dimensions of my bedroom. Javi puts the rest together with the help of some tools he has stashed in his truck and then it’s time for the mattress.

  “Very cool, Haze,” Shannon says once it’s all together and the bed is made. My sheets don’t exactly match, but oh well.

  “We should have gotten you some new sheets,” Javi says and I glare at him. Since when did he become the decorating police?

  “Well, I think we’re going to order dinner tonight,” Shannon says and takes our orders for pizza before she and Jett leave Javi and me alone with the new bed.

  “What do you think?” Javi asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed and patting the space next to him. I sit down and we both lie back and stare at the ceiling.

  “It’s really nice, Javi. I don’t know how I can ever thank you.” He turns his head to the side and I do as well. We’re close enough to kiss.

  “I can think of a few ways,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

  “Ugh, you’re disgusting.”

  “You like it.” I sigh.

  “Yeah, I do.”

  He puts his hand under my chin and pulls my face close for a kiss.

  “I like you too,” he says.

  We kiss a little and then he puts his arm around me and I snuggle close.

  “What do you say we should try and break this one tonight?” I say and he chuckles.

  “I like this plan, and I think I’m more than up to the challenge.”

  The bed doesn’t break. Not that night and not the next. Finally, it’s Friday night and everyone’s decided to go out. Unfortunately I picked up an extra shift at the bar, so I’m out of luck.

  “What are you going to do?” I ask Javi that evening as he watches me getting ready for work. I didn’t ask him about his plans earlier, since I figured he had some.

  “I fancy a drink and my favorite bartender is working tonight.” I turn around and pull my shirt into place.

  “You mean you’re going to come and pester me while I’m working.” He gets up.

  “‘Pester’ is such a harsh word. I think of it more as keeping you company. But if you don’t want me there, I can make alternate plans. I don’t want you to feel like you have to put up with me all the time.” In truth, I like having Javi around, but it’d hard to go from only seeing someone a few times a week to seeing them all the time. You can’t make an adjustment that fast.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to see you, I do…” I start to say, but he stops me.

  “You don’t have to explain at all. If you ever need some time for just you, let me know. I know I have a tendency to just shove myself into a situation and ask questions after.” I snort.

  “Well, that’s good to know. Yes, I think I’d just like to go to work. Besides, you can be very distracting and I don’t think my boss would like it if I was caught banging you in the break room.” The thought has crossed my mind, but I need the money more than the sex.

  “Pity,” Javi says, lifting my shirt and letting his fingers flutter over my exposed stomach. “But I have things to do. Oh, don’t give me that look.” I’m not giving him any look, as far as I know.

  “I’m not going out to have sex with someone else. I’ll just go home, do some laundry, homework, that sort of thing. It’s no big.” I didn’t say he was going out with someone else. But the idea of him doing so sends a flare of a highly unpleasant emotion surging through me.

  Jealousy.

  Normally, I think of myself as the kind of girl who doesn’t get jealous. But that’s usually due to the fact that I don’t do committed relationships. Flings never involve jealousy since they are just that. Flings. Casual sex.

  This thing with Javi… it started out different and continues to be different.

  “You can do what you want. We’re only together-ish. I have no claim on your time. You can come and go as you please and see who you want.” I say the words, but they feel empty. I don’t want him to do any of those things. I want him to come to work with me and sit at the bar and make sexual jokes and irritate me.

  “That’s sweet, but I’d rather just be alone if I can’t be with you.” And then he slaps my ass. “Make good money, gorgeous.”

  He heads out the door and calls goodbye to Jett and Shannon, Daisy and Jordyn, who are here early.

  I shake myself, trying to shake off all my annoying feelings and go back to fixing my hair.

  Work is awful. Either there’s a full moon, or all the assholes decided to get together and venture out at the same time.

  I get a drink spilled down my back, my ass grabbed and plenty of propositions I wouldn’t take if they gave me a billion dollars.

  I’m irritable and missing Javi.

  No, I’m not missing Javi. I just fucking saw him. I can spend a few hours away from him. I’m not a clingy girl who has no identity when she’s not with her man. Hell, he’s not even my man. He’s a man I have sex with. That’s it.

  I’m an independent woman and I can take care of myself.

  “Rough night?” Regina, one of the other regular bartenders asks as I slam some cash into the register.

  “You could say that. It’s like we have a blinking sign that says ‘Assholes Drink Here’ or something.” She pats my shoulder.

  “Cheer up. Have a shot. We only have a few more hours.” That actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I pour myself a small whiskey shot and down it. The burn down my throat is wonderful and the alcohol gives me a warm feeling as soon as it hits my bloodstream. It won’t stop people from being jerks, but it makes me care about them less.

  By the end of the night, I’m dreading coming in tomorrow (which is technically today) if it’s going to
be as bad as tonight. But I’ll suck it up. I’ve had much worse nights before.

  I say farewell to my comrades and head to my car. I’d changed my shirt when one had gotten soaked with beer, but I didn’t have an extra pair of pants. I make a note to bring an entire new outfit with me next time.

  The shower is my only destination when I got home. I don’t even stop in my bedroom to get extra clothes. The place is dark aside from the light in the kitchen Shannon had left on for me so I wouldn’t have to fumble for the switch.

  I drop my clothes on the floor and turn the setting on as hot as it goes. Even my underwear hasn’t escaped the beer attack and sticks to my skin. Gross.

  The scalding spray pounds down on me as I close my eyes and tilt my face up. I’m so tired and distracted that I don’t even hear the door open.

  “Knock, knock,” a male voice says and I scream. “Relax, it’s just me.” Javi pulls aside the shower curtain and then steps in with me. He’s naked, so he must have taken his clothes off before he spoke.

  “What are you doing here?” I say, holding my hand to my heart. “You scared the shit out of me! Haven’t you even seen Psycho?” I whack him a few times, but he just wraps his arms around me.

  “Easy there. I went home and did some stuff and then figured I’d wait here for you to come home. I got a lot of homework done, by the way. Your place is much more conducive to studying. No idea why.” He puts a kiss on my cheek and lets me go.

  “You can’t just sneak up on a girl in the shower.” I cross my arms. He just grabs the bottle of shampoo.

  “Here, let me wash your hair to make up for scaring you.”

  “Javi.”

  “What?”

  “Next time, text me and tell me you’re going to be here and knock on the actual door before you get in the shower with me. Seriously.” He nods and pops the top of the bottle.

  “Text and knock. Got it. Turn around and tilt your head back.” I do as he asks and he starts washing my hair.

  “How was work?”

  “Terrible. Someone spilled beer all over me. I had an extra shirt, but I forgot to bring pants so I was sticky all night. And there were some real charmers.” Javi moves his fingers in my scalp, working the shampoo into a lather and massaging at the same time. It feels really good. The last time I remember anyone else washing my hair, I was probably a kid and my mom did it.

  “See? I should have been there. I would have taught them some manners and how to treat a woman who is serving you.” I snort.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you could have given them etiquette lessons, Javier.”

  “I’m a total gentleman,” he says with shock. I turn my head and he winks at me. “Remember that time when I opened a door for you? And that time I bought you a bed?”

  “After you broke the other one,” I say, but I’m laughing. The tension of the night melts from my shoulders as Javi rinses the shampoo out of my hair, being careful not to let any of it get in my eyes.

  “I think we were both responsible for the bed breaking. I told you it was going to be rough and you gave me the green light to go ahead.” I turn around and smack him across the chest. “Plus, that was a really weak bedframe. You should have invested in something sturdier if you were going to enjoy those sorts of activities on it.” I grab my loofah and start beating him with it and he pretends to cower in the corner.

  We’re both laughing as he grabs me around the waist and dunks me under the spray.

  “Hey!” I yell and then we wrestle for a little while, getting water everywhere.

  When we finally call a truce, I wash Javi’s hair and then we condition together before washing each other thoroughly and finally shutting off the water.

  He grabs a towel and wraps me in it before getting one for himself. Then he throws me over his shoulder and carries me to the bedroom where he throws me down on the bed and we do the opposite of getting clean. We get dirty.

  Javi is still sleeping when I wake up early the next morning, so I get up to have breakfast with Shannon.

  “How’s the, uh, new bed working out?” Shannon asks when she comes home from Jett’s. I feel like I haven’t seen her without Jett or Javi present in ages. We’ve both been preoccupied.

  “It’s holding up,” I say and she giggles.

  “And how are other things going? I know you don’t really want to talk about it, but I’m dying here. I need some details. Not those kind of details, but just some… other details. You’re killing me.” She leans her head on her hands and begs.

  “Well, there aren’t a whole lot of details. Javi and I aren’t together like boyfriend and girlfriend, but we’re seeing each other, I guess. And sleeping with each other. But it’s not exclusive and it’s not anything permanent. It’s just sort of a ‘for now’ kind of thing. And if something changes, that’ll be fine. We’re just having fun together.” That’s the best way I can put it.

  Shannon looks at me for a long time.

  “And you’re fine with the casual thing? Because I’ve seen the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you. And how you are together and that doesn’t seem like a casual thing. He’s practically living here.” I’m not going to point out that she’s practically living with Jett. It’s a bit of a pot calling the kettle black situation.

  “He just sleeps here. With me. You’ve seen their place. It’s awful. Our place might not be great, but it’s better than theirs,” I say. This is an undisputable fact.

  Shannon makes a face at the mention of Javi and Jett’s apartment.

  “I keep telling Jett to get a better place, but it’s not easy. The good places are so expensive and the bad places are cheap but… bad.”

  Landlords know students are desperate, so they rent apartments that no one else would be caught dead living in and pocket the cash. Pretty sweet deal when you think about it.

  “They just have no money,” she says.

  “Well, I don’t know about Jett’s situation, but Javi seems to have no problem. He paid for the bed and he’s been buying groceries and all sorts of stuff. And I’m positive he doesn’t have a job because he never has to go to work, but he still seems to have money.” Shannon is the only one I can talk to about this. If I ask Javi, he’d probably just make a joke or something. Besides, I hate talking about money with him.

  “Weird. Maybe he’s got a scholarship or something? Some people take out more student loans than they need so they have money to live on. Maybe he’s doing that.” I’ve heard of people doing that, but I didn’t think you’d get enough student loan money to pay rent and go out and buy expensive bedframes and truffles with. There has to be another explanation.

  “I don’t know what it is, but I really want to. It’s driving me nuts.”

  “Just ask him.” I get up and make some more coffee. I’m going to need more than a few cups today. Last night was brutal.

  “I can’t. That’s the kind of thing I can’t ask. If I was a girlfriend, maybe. But it’s really none of my business. We nearly had a fight over the bedframe. I’d rather not go there if I can help it.” Shannon sighs and I sit back down to wait for the coffee to percolate.

  “That’s a tough one. I guess you could maybe ask a simple question when you’re out. Something that’s not too prying.” I’ve thought about that.

  “Anyway, enough about me. How are you doing?” She smiles and tilts her head down.

  “Good. Really good. Jett is just so…” she waves one hand, looking for a way to describe him.

  “Awesome? Perfect for you?” I supply. She grins wider.

  “I just can’t believe we got so lucky. I mean, if I hadn’t been at that café on that day and he hadn’t asked me to watch his computer and then you hadn’t been annoying me about turning in my V card then it might never have happened.” By that logic, if Shannon and Jett hadn’t gotten together, I might never have met Javier.

  Was there such a thing as fate? Or was it just chance that ruled your life? Both were sobering thoughts that I didn’t li
ke to dwell too much on.

  “I’m glad you’re happy and that everything worked out. I’m still sorry for being so awful to you. You know that, right?” I feel like I’m constantly apologizing, but I still feel terrible about it. What I had done was really shitty.

  “It’s okay. I should have stood up for myself. We were both in the wrong. But it’s better now and everything’s okay.” She gets up and pours coffee into her cup and then I hand her mine.

  “So, do you think this thing with Javier will get serious? As in calling him your boyfriend?” Ugh, I thought we were done with me. I don’t want to talk about me anymore.

  She hands me my coffee and I burn my mouth on the first sip.

  “I don’t know, Shan. I’m just taking it as it comes and living each day and all that shit. I just don’t know.”

  “Don’t know what?” Javi’s voice says and I turn to see him shuffling into the kitchen, his hair all over the place and his eyes a little puffy. He looks adorable and I just want to climb back into bed and cuddle with him for the rest of the day.

  “Nothing. Good morning, sleepyhead,” I say as he crashes down in the new chair. “Did you not sleep?”

  “No, I did, after you got back. But staying up waiting for you wasn’t easy. I don’t know how you work so late and then have the energy to get up in the morning.” I don’t either. Coffee, I guess. And energy shots when I’m working.

  “Coffee?” Shannon says and he nods.

  “Please.”

  She gives him a cup and sits back down.

  “Well, I should get going. Jett and I are heading to the library to get a bunch of work done. Have a good night at work.” She gets up and leaves. It’s just Javi and me.

  “You didn’t have to wait up for me,” I say, going to the fridge. It’s well-stocked, thanks to him. I pull out some eggs and butter and grab some bread from the box on the counter.

  “I know. But it just sort of happened. What are you doing?”