The Beautiful Ashes
If Adrian ever freed the part of him that wanted me, would I be able to stand it? Or would I love every second of being overcome? Only concern for my sister kept me from testing both of us by throwing myself into his arms and forcing him to feel what he kept telling himself he couldn’t have.
His muscles bunched, as if on a primal level he sensed the reckless passion growing in me. Maybe he did. Maybe it was more than our bond that made me throb in places he’d never touched, as though demanding to feel his hands, his mouth, on me there.
Adrian spun around, his coat unable to hide how his whole body had suddenly tensed, as if he’d been zapped with the electric shock he’d alluded to before.
“Let’s go,” he said hoarsely. “Places to be, minions to kill.”
My hands trembled as I drew on my thick winter parka and gloves. I already had on the insulated pants and boots.
“First, tell me why I can’t get through the gateways on my own,” I asked, stalling so I’d get a second to compose myself.
He half turned to show a smile like uncut crystal—beautiful, yet jagged around the edges. “Same reason as everything else— bloodlines. You need minion, demon or Judian blood to cross through the barriers that lead to the dark worlds. You don’t have that, so by wrapping myself around you, I’m essentially covering you with my blood to get you through.”
That explained so much. No wonder demons didn’t bother to station guards at every gateway. Even if the humans they captured managed to navigate the pitch-blackness to find them, they couldn’t cross through them to get back to their world. Once in a realm, they were hopelessly trapped.
My jaw tightened. Not Jasmine. As soon as I found that weapon, I was coming for her, and with Adrian’s help, she would see the sun again.
“I’m ready,” I said, my tone now only slightly breathy.
He didn’t look at me when he pulled me to him and then dropped us into the gateway I hadn’t been able to see, let alone penetrate. As soon as we finished tumbling through the invisible membrane linking our realms, he let me go. I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the darkness that seemed to seep inside my soul, chasing away my desire while hardening me with purpose. If the weapon was here, Jasmine’s awful captivity would be over. All I had to do was stay strong, focus and find it.
Light from the town reflected off the icy ground, adding an eerie, faint luminescence that kept me from being totally blind. Still, it was dark enough that I couldn’t see Adrian’s face. Only the bulk of his large body next to me. The tall silhouettes around us must have been trees, frozen into place from the cold. I couldn’t see more than the widest part of their outlines; their branches, if they had any, were invisible against the darkness that hovered above us like a malevolent spirit.
Adrian leaned down, his warm breath in stark contrast to our frozen surroundings as he spoke near my ear.
“Anyone stops us, let me do the talking.”
Since I didn’t speak Demonish, I’d already planned on that. I was about to tell him the same when his whole body froze with such suddenness, it was as if he’d been transformed into stone.
“Ivy, don’t move,” he whispered in a low, vehement voice.
I tried to will every part of me to similar stillness, but I couldn’t stop my eyes from darting around or my chest from rising as my heart sped up and my lungs responded with a demand for more oxygen. What was out here that was so dangerous, Adrian was playing statue instead of reaching for his gun?
My answer was a hissing sort of growl that raised every hair on the back of my neck. It sounded like a feral wolf that had just found a meal, and somewhere to my left, an answering, howling hiss shattered the dark in answer.
“Adrian,” I whispered, terror skittering through me.
Fast as lightning, he was behind me, his arms like twin bands around me. “Close your eyes,” he ordered, his voice barely audible. “It can’t hurt you if you don’t move.”
I slammed my eyes shut. I’d seen people butchered plus demons transform into deadly clouds and crows, but if Adrian didn’t think I could handle whatever this was, I’d believe him. The growls came closer, and with a sudden vibration in the ground, I felt something big land right in front of me. Reeking breath came in pants that hit my face like light slaps. I fought a fresh surge of panic as I realized I was standing, yet the creature was still eye level with me. What was it?
Its hiss turned guttural before I felt something slimy and wet flick across my face with the quickness of a snake’s tongue. Fear-driven revulsion would’ve made me immediately swipe at the spot if not for Adrian’s warning.
It can’t hurt you if you don’t move.
I didn’t know how that could be true. The thing had licked me; it knew I was here! Not a muscle on Adrian twitched, though, and after that disgusting lick, the creature didn’t do anything except wheeze in that weird, hissing way. I mimicked Adrian’s stillness, keeping my eyes shut and willing my breaths to be soft and shallow. Then a new, ominous vibration shook the ground. Another creature had landed right behind us.
More reeking breath filled the air with the stench of old garbage and rotted fish. A hissing snarl blasted out, loud as a trumpet and so terrifying, my knees felt like they turned to Jell-O. Only Adrian’s grip kept me standing perfectly still as something massive bumped my body, like a shark testing its prey. I squeezed my lids tighter, fighting a near-overwhelming urge to go for my gun. I felt beyond helpless, beyond vulnerable. If Adrian’s arms hadn’t been wrapped around me, a tangible reminder that I wasn’t facing this alone, I might have started shaking.
Then a roar blasted in front of my face, so loud it seemed to reverberate inside me. My heart pounded as something sharp grazed the top of my head, parting my hair with multiple hard points. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know what it was. The creature’s gigantic fangs. My guts twisted with terror and resignation. One snap of those jaws, and it would all be over.
It can’t hurt you if you don’t move!
I couldn’t tell how long I frantically repeated Adrian’s promise, but the fangs on my head eventually vanished. Then, with two sets of vibrating thumps, the space around us felt less oppressive and I knew the huge, hulking beasts had gone. I still didn’t move or open my eyes, though. Not until Adrian lifted me up, ran, and I felt us tumbling through the gateway back into the light and warmth of Collinsville, Illinois.
Grass hit me in the face from our hard landing, but I didn’t care. Instead of standing up, I started to swipe at my cheek hard enough to bruise, and still it felt like the slime from the creature’s tongue remained. I wanted to wash my skin with scalding water, but I couldn’t. All I could do was keep rubbing my face with my gloved hands.
“What were those things?” I whispered, still too traumatized to speak in a normal tone.
Adrian knelt and grasped my wrists, forcing me to stop my rough grooming. His face had shiny trails on it, too, showing I hadn’t been the only one the creatures had licked.
“Hounds,” he said evenly, “which means we have a problem.”
I started to laugh. Not the exhilarated, yay-I’m-alive kind, like when I’d survived Demetrius’s first attack, but wild cackles that hovered between derangement and despair.
“A problem? You don’t say,” I gasped out. “I thought huge demonic dogs would only be a minor nuisance.”
Adrian smoothed the hair out of my face, his hand lingering to cup my chin.
“‘Hound’ is a nickname. They’re not dogs. They’re ancient reptiles the demons selectively bred until they made the most vicious thing on four legs. Can’t see, taste or smell for shit, though, which is why you’re safe if you don’t move. If you do, they’re trained to tear you to pieces.”
I stopped laughing, but that didn’t mean I felt more stable. “I vote we skip this realm and only search ones without demonic, man-eating reptiles.”
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“It’s not that simple,” he said, still in that infuriatingly calm tone. “They weren’t supposed to be there, so the demons must be amping up their security. They know you’ve searched two realms for the weapon, Ivy. Looks like they’re trying to stop you from searching a third.”
The suck never seemed to end. “But now that we know they’re there, can’t we just bring bigger weapons and kill them?”
“Hounds are almost as difficult to kill as demons,” Adrian responded, a hint of grimness making me wonder if he spoke from experience. “Plus, they’re cold-blooded, so they have to keep returning to their handlers to warm up, which means it wouldn’t take long for one of them to be missed.”
Crawling into the world’s largest ketchup bottle and not coming out was starting to sound like a great idea. “Now what?”
He gave me a level look. “Now we talk to Zach.”
chapter twenty-five
We used most of our remaining Archon-glamoured sticky notes for gas money to return to Costa’s house in Miami. Once there, we waited. And waited.
By the fourth day, Zach was still a no-show despite Adrian repeatedly trying to reach him. I tried, too, mostly by folding my hands, glaring upward and thinking multiple variations of Where are you, Zach? I know you can hear us!
Costa wasn’t around, either. At least he’d called, saying he was staying a few more days with Hoyt at Tomas’s family’s house. With no one actively trying to kill me and our realm-searching put on hold, I had nothing to do except brood. I couldn’t even enjoy the sunny warmth of South Florida. If I wasn’t feeling guilty over Jasmine languishing in her captivity, I was being tormented in another way.
For the past three nights, I’d fallen asleep listening to Adrian pace. He spent his days in the outdoor carport, claiming that he needed to work on his car. Bullshit. The Challenger was in mint condition, and he could only wax and detail it so many times before it was obvious that he was just avoiding me.
Tonight, I was finding out why.
I got out of bed, hearing his pacing come to an abrupt halt when I opened my door. Too bad. I was done playing the avoidance game. He wasn’t, though. By the time I came downstairs, he was nowhere to be seen and his bedroom door was shut.
Quietly, I went to his door and tried the knob. Locked. My mouth curled. He was the one who’d taught me not to give up that easily when something needed to be done.
I grabbed the car keys he’d left on the counter and went out the front door. I’d barely slid them into the Challenger’s ignition when Adrian came flying out of the house after me.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded, yanking open the passenger door after he tried mine and couldn’t get in. I waited until he’d shut it, then I hit the lock button.
The sound was like a gun going off in the sudden quiet. Adrian stared at me, knowing better than anyone that he was now trapped. He was the one who’d rigged the Challenger so that the only exit was through the driver’s side when the doors were locked.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said evenly, “and neither are you until we have a little talk.”
“What are you doing, Ivy?” he asked, his voice very low.
“Ending our stalemate,” I responded, leaning back into the leather seat. “For the first few days, I thought you were avoiding me because I’d done something wrong. Then I realized it wasn’t my fault, so now I want to know why.”
He looked away. “I haven’t been avoiding—”
“Ooh, lies, looks like we’ll be here awhile,” I mocked. “Seriously, Adrian, Costa’s house is on hallowed ground and it doesn’t contain a single mirror, so I’m totally safe. Yet aside from getting groceries the first day, you haven’t left once. If you can’t stand to be in the same room with me, why is it that you can’t stand to leave me alone here, either?”
His hands slowly closed into fists. “Let me out, Ivy. Now.”
“Not until you give me a straight answer,” I countered.
He looked at me, anger sharpening the gorgeous lines and hollows of his face. “I’m warning you, don’t push me.”
“Or what?” I flared. “You have nothing to threaten me with! The only reason I can stand to keep going is because I don’t have anything to lose, so pushing you doesn’t scare me—”
I didn’t see his hands flash out, but suddenly, they were in my hair as he yanked me to him, his mouth scorching mine. I gasped in shock, and his tongue slid past my lips, claiming mine with a passionate desperation that sent heat rocketing through me.
My shock vanished. So did my questions. Desire hijacked my emotions, leaving nothing except a surge of blistering need. I kissed Adrian back, opening my mouth in a silent demand for more. Hints of alcohol flavored his kiss, but beneath that was his taste, infinitely more intoxicating, and I responded as if it was my drug of choice. I moaned as my head tilted back from the force of his kiss. Then he pulled me across the seats until I was on top of him, his strong grip molding me against every muscled inch of his body.
“This is why I stayed away,” he growled against my mouth as his hands started to rove over me with knowing, ruthless passion. “Can’t be near you without wanting you. Can’t stop myself anymore—”
His words cut off as his kiss deepened, until I could hardly breathe from the erotic thrusts and delves of his tongue. I’d been kissed before, but never like this. He wasn’t exploring my mouth. He was claiming it.
And I couldn’t get enough. All the feelings I’d had to fake with other boyfriends came roaring through my senses, shocking me with their intensity. My heart pounded while my body felt hypersensitive, making each brush of his skin, lips and tongue dangerously erotic. I needed more of his kiss despite barely being able to breathe. More of his hands moving over me with sensual urgency, and more of the hard, muscled body I could feel but not touch because of how tightly Adrian held me against him.
I moaned when his lips slid down to a spot on my neck that made every nerve ending jump with exquisite anticipation. They jumped again when he pushed up the back of my pajama top, his hands now roaming over flesh instead of fabric. Everywhere he touched seemed to burn with a need so intense, it left me aching, and when he sucked on my neck, a blast of pleasure reverberated straight down to the throb between my legs.
“All I think about is you. Every day, every minute...you,” he muttered hotly.
I was so lost in sensation, the words barely penetrated, especially when his mouth slanted over mine with carnal hunger. Before, my hands had been trapped against his chest, but I forced them free, gripping his head while I kissed him back. His mouth was addictive, and the sinuous flicks of his tongue had me arching against him in wordless, primal need. Desperate to feel him the way I’d secretly fantasized, my hands left his head to slide down his body. Our cramped space limited my exploration to his shoulders, arms and sides, but I wanted to touch him so badly, I didn’t care. Muscles bunched and flexed as he reacted to the feel of my hands on him. His body was so hard, but his skin was sleek and smooth, as if someone had stretched heavy silk over stone. Touching him while he kissed me made my mind reel from desire, and when my hand grazed his taut, flat stomach, a tremor went through his whole body.
He broke our kiss to pull my pajama top over my head, groaning as he flung it aside.
“You’re so beautiful, Ivy.”
His hands on my bare breasts ripped a cry from me. My skin felt too tight, too sensitive, and when his mouth closed over a nipple, the pleasure was so intense, it was almost painful. I gripped his head without thinking, my gasps turning into groans that caused him to hold me tighter. His mouth was a brand that seared those unbelievable sensations all through me, making my whole body feel fevered. Every part of me ached for him, but when his hand slipped inside my pajama pants, I couldn’t stop myself from tensing even as I cried out at the jolt of pleasur
e.
His mouth immediately left my breast and his large hand slid up to thread through my hair instead.
“What’s wrong?”
Adrian’s eyes were darker with passion, making their silver rims more startling, but it was the barely leashed wildness they contained that caused the words to stick in my throat.
“I, ahem... Before we... Ah, I need to tell you something.”
I could actually see the moment he guessed what I was having trouble articulating. His eyes widened, and his hands ceased the sensual way they’d been running through my hair.
“You’ve never had sex before.”
A statement, not a question. I still had on my pajama pants, but suddenly, I’d never felt more exposed. My arms crossed over my chest, and for the first time, I was glad I didn’t have D-cups because they covered everything.
“Yeah,” I mumbled. “Sorry.”
“Don’t.” Adrian’s sigh was ragged. “Don’t ever apologize for being who you are. You’re perfect, and I’m the one who’s sorry. Touching you made me forget all the reasons why I have to stay away from you.”
That was the last thing I wanted to hear. Frustration rose, covering my previous embarrassment. Was I supposed to go back to pretending that he didn’t consume my thoughts as much as I apparently consumed his? Damn my momentary hesitancy that had ruined this!
“I don’t want you to stay away,” I said. To prove it, I dropped my arms.
His eyes closed while he shuddered as though absorbing a punishing blow.
“Don’t,” he said roughly. “After you find and use that weapon, I have to walk away from you, and I can’t do that if we’re lovers. I can barely do it now, and I need to, Ivy. It’s the only way I can protect you from my fate.”
Before I could say anything else, he flipped us until he was on top of me. Then he punched the window so hard that it shattered. His body shielded mine from the instant rainfall of glass, then he opened his door from the outside and left.