Smash Into You

  I remembered that she hobbled along with me. We thought we'd made it when we reached the edge of the yard, but sirens blared in the distance right before a shot. I turned and watched as she gave me the most regretful look. Her hand gripped her stomach and I knew everything was about to change for me. She'd been shot. She slid to the ground.

  I saw him coming across the yard. Mom looked at him and back to me with pleading eyes. "Run, baby."

  "No, Mom, no." I was embarrassed again as I felt a tear drop from my nose. My knees hurt in the dry, hard, rocky gravel, but I stayed right there. Right there with her.

  "You listen to me, Jude Ezra Jackson. You've got to go without me. Now."

  "No!"

  "Yes." She touched my cheek and the sob that held me together broke free in a wild noise because I knew this was it. This one moment would be my last with her. "Son, know that you were never my burden, you were my joy. I wanted you, I fought for you, and you were the best thing that I ever did. I love you, Jude. Hey, Jude, take a sad song and make it better...right, baby?"

  I nodded and gripped her hand tighter as her own grip began to fail. She looked over as the cop car slammed to a halt in the road. Her eyes were wild and pleading. "Go, baby. I love you."

  "Mom..." I just couldn't. I knew I should go, but I just couldn't leave her there.

  Her eyes began to roll a little and her breath shuddered in her throat. She looked at me once more, a tear sliding the slowest I'd seen one fall down her cheek. "Never...stop...running."

  Her eyes didn't close. That was the worst horror of it all. She was watching me, but her body was no longer occupied. I lifted my gaze to see a silhouette in the dark of the man who plagued us everywhere we went. The cop got out, gun drawn as he searched the area. The man took off running the opposite way, but not before looking back once more at me. As if to say, this is far from over.

  I had to agree. In my mind, it was just beginning.

  In only my boxers and dirty knees, I bolted through the woods. I stayed in the brush of bushes behind the buildings in the small town. When I came to a laundry mat, I stole clothes that were too big for me and then stole my first meal. I swiped three apples from the churchyard. I remember, as I pulled those apples from that tree and looked up at the stained-glass windows, thinking that I was going straight to hell with a too-big Blimpy's Subs t-shirt on.

  Later, I realized that God knew how much I needed to eat that night, and how much I needed to eat every night after that, because no matter how bleak things looked, and though I did go through nights of hunger and sleeping on benches, I somehow always survived.

  And as I looked at that cracked sink in my crappy apartment, I couldn't help but be thankful to still be alive. Still be capable of hunting down that bastard one day and doing to him exactly what he'd done to my mother. Still capable of revenge. I didn't know if I was capable of more than that.

  Love? Compassion? Regret? Didn't know.

  Revenge? Absolutely.

  four

  "There's homemade apple pie in the break room for lunch if you want some, Jude."

  I looked over at him in confusion. He shrugged. "The wife was up early baking them. She never bakes so enjoy it while you can."

  I turned so he wouldn't see me when I rolled my eyes and tossed the bag of feed into the truck. "Goody. Thanks."

  "Something going on with you lately?" I looked back at him. His brow was cocked in a way that made me think it was more than just inquisitive.

  "What do you mean?"

  "You're just acting weird, is all."

  I turned back to my task. "Nah, man. I'm peachy."

  "Do you have something you want to tell me, Jude?" I knew that tone. Dang... His freaking wife was trying to get me fired.

  "Not a thing."

  "Jude!" he bellowed. I sighed deep before turning and putting my hands on top of the truck. "Look at me!"

  "What? Spit it out. You've obviously got something you want to confront me about."

  He grimaced and spit on the pavement next to us. He watched the ground as he said, "I think she's cheating on me. I know it. Have you..." He met my gaze. "Have you seen anything around the shop? Somebody hanging around after I leave or something?"

  Relief flooded me. I wasn't losing my job, but that wife of his was definitely cheating on him. "I wish I had, man, so you could go get that bastard, but I haven't. Sorry."

  "Well," he shook his head, "just be glad you don't have a woman, Jude. They're fun for a while, you fall in love with them, and then they slowly rip your heart out."

  I chuckled under my breath. "That's beautiful, man."

  "It's true!" he insisted in a loud hiss. "All right, that's all for today."

  "But the day's not up." I checked the busted clock on the wall. "We've still got an hour and a half."

  "Go ahead. Go home. I'll pay you for the full day. I just want to get out of here and drown my sorrows."

  I brushed my hands off. "If you're sure, I've got no complaints."

  "Nah, go ahead." He was pitiful, kicking his feet like a kid that lost at dodgeball.

  "Want some company?"

  His lips curled up. "Really?"

  "Yeah, sure." I clocked out and nodded my head for him. "Come on, I'll drive. I have a feeling I'll need to be the designated tonight."

  "I'll just catch a cab home later," he said, hurrying to my truck.

  "You're not gonna know your own name later, let alone what street you live on."

  He scoffed a 'pfft', but then thought about it. "Maybe. We'll see." He grinned and beat his hand on the top of the open window to the tune of whatever was on the radio as I pulled out of the parking lot. "I never get to go out with the guys!"

  I didn't know if I constituted as 'guys', but for now, I took it. I found myself laughing at him as he sang along and starting drumming on the dash wildly with his forefingers. I thought this was going to be a somber night, but instead, it was different. He was free.

  x

  He drank enough for us both to be under the table. I shook my head as I finished off my third water and watched him dance with the jukebox. The dive we were in was somewhere I'd been often. Not this particular one, but there's a million out there just like it. In every town, there's at least one and you can always find it and just be gone for a while in the booze and girls.

  Another notion my mom would be so proud of.

  "Are you following me?"

  My spine shot straight and lightning made my breath catch. I turned slowly to find the spitfirey, gorgeous girl who had messed my daggum truck up. I felt my lips turn up in a smirk. "Well, well, well. You just can't stay away from me, can you?"

  She laughed and shook her head, obviously knowing it was a line, but choosing to go with it anyway. "Oh, please. I work here, pal, and last I recall, you don't."

  She worked in a place like this with drunken idiots grabbing at her? A place that I never thought I even possessed started to burn with a slow fire. My lips fell open in surprise as my gut churned and ached with protectiveness.

  She waved her hand in front of me. "Earth to Jude."

  "You remember my name." It was not a question.

  She tugged and pulled at the collar of her tight t-shirt. "Yeah. You don't remember mine?"

  "No." I shook my head and will admit, it was a little add to my ego when she looked disappointed. "I do not remember your name, Marley."

  She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Ha ha." One hand went to her hip and the other pointed at me, the rag in her fingers dangled there. "And do not make any jokes about the name. A girl named Marley in a bar, I know, but the Marley wanna ride my Harley jokes are hilarious," she said sarcastically.

  I laughed and stood from the stool. I peeked over to check on Pepe. He and the jukebox were still making love to each other, so I focused back on sweet face. It didn't escape my notice how she took a step back to avoid being in any personal space of mine. "Well, you point me to the guy that says that tonight, and I'll make sure he sings a diffe
rent tune."

  "Aww, you'd maim someone for me? How sweet."

  I felt a chuckle bubble up. "Watch it now. I might think you're flirting with me."

  She frowned a little, but still managed a small smile, and twisted her collar again. "I've got to get back to work."

  I watched her skin...that soft, touchable skin. If I was never going to see her again, what would it harm? I stepped closer, her chest almost touching mine, and let my thumb trace from her brow, down her nose, stopping at her lips. They parted under my thumb and I knew then my grave mistake when I was barely successful at keeping my groan at bay.

  But she didn't need to know that.

  I let my fingers ease onto her jaw and lowered my head to hers. I had to let myself have this if I was going to stay away from her...just once. My lips touched her ear, and she shivered and gasped in my grasp.

  "Another time, another place, Marley, and this would be more than goodbye. Don't let these jerks mess with you. You're better than they will ever be." I paused, more for me than her. I didn't want to let go and that scared the ever-loving mess out of me. "Bye, sweetheart."

  When I leaned back, she had that kiss-me look. It wasn't her fault. It was just the passion-filled look girls got in their eyes when their body responded to something pleasurable in a sexual way. She probably wasn't even aware of it. I needed to run. Now.

  I turned to go and found Pepe in a heap by the wall. Perfect timing. I threw his arm over my neck and hefted him up. He laughed. "Jude! I missed you, buddy!"

  "Oh, I'm sure you did. Say goodbye to your lover over there."

  He looked at the jukebox sadly. "She sings to me all day and doesn't ask for anything but a freaking quarter. A quarter, Jude! She's a good girl. She would never cheat."

  "That's only because she's chained to the wall, Pepe."

  I looked back, expecting to find an empty space where we'd been, but she was still in the exact same spot. She looked like she wanted to say something as she stared right into my eyes, her blond hair framing her sweet face, her cream cowboy boots and long legs. I couldn't let her.

  I hoisted him around and was just opening the door when I heard it. It sounded like an engine, but it wasn't stopping. My instinct kicked in a split second too late as a truck came smashing through the side of the building...heading straight for my sweet-faced girl.

  I moved before I realized I was. Pepe was falling back against the wall, but he was OK. Marley was about to be anything but. Her wide eyes begged me to do something, anything, as I barreled toward her. It was all playing out before my eyes like slow motion. I didn't know if I was going to make it. Was I going to have to watch as she was run down?

  My feet pushed harder and I reached her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her to my chest. I hated how she felt like a rag doll getting thrown around as we swung around and twisted to the floor. I managed to take the brunt of the collision and grunted as something stabbed and sliced into my right shoulder.

  There was no time to worry about that.

  I stared up at the truck as it smashed into the bar. Marley quivered and whimpered in my arms, but even that didn't drown out what I saw next.

  Biloxi.

  He stared at me through the passenger window and I knew we had seconds left. He moved slowly and tried to open his door, but it was jammed by the broken bar. He took the gun I knew so well out of his jacket pocket and fired once, breaking the window. Marley screamed as she realized this wasn't some accident where a jackass fell asleep on the freeway and crashed into the first object.

  I rolled and jerked Marley up with me as I took off. I looked back to see him climbing over the gearshift in the old Ford to come to the other side.

  I felt bad about leaving Pepe there, but he'd get a ride for sure now. Cops would be all over this place in no time. I ran with Marley's wrist in my grasp and was punched in the gut with the knowledge that she hadn't once tried to stop me. She trusted me and that was worse than anything else I'd ever felt, because that meant I could get her killed if she stayed with me. I needed to get her out of there and then ditch her on my way out of town. No other way to keep her safe than that.

  I opened the passenger door and lifted her up into it. I ran around to the other side, just as I saw him emerge from the bar. "Get down!" I yelled and grabbed her head, jerking it down into the seat too roughly. I floored it and fishtailed in the dirt parking lot before I hit the pavement.

  Finally, when she sat up, as expected, she said it. "What the hell is going on, Jude?"

  Her voice was no longer the strong, spitfire girl I was learning, now she was so scared her voice shook. I looked at her and saw blood on the sleeve of her shirt. "No, what happened?" I bellowed and pulled her to me since I couldn't pull over. We weren't out of the woods yet if he snagged a car and followed us.

  "It's not me," she said softly, looking at me strangely. My hand was wrapped around her thigh where I had grabbed her to bring her across the seat.

  "What do you mean?"

  "You're hurt." She gulped and exhaled, her breath skating across my cheek. Her breath smelled like peppermints from the bar. She sat up on her knees in the seat and tried to look at my shoulder. The way her chest brushed my arm had me gritting my teeth. Then the tingles started before the spike of pain. I remembered now. And now that the adrenaline was winding down, the pain was coming to the surface.

  I shook off her hand. "It's fine. Don't worry about it."

  She steeled her face. "You're going to let me look at this. You pulled me out of there while that guy was firing a freaking gun, you're hurt, now we're running away from something—I don't know what, but you're going to tell me—and you will let me look at this so I can see why there's so much blood."

  Daggum. "Fine," I bit out. The least she touched me the better, but whatever. I was about to drop her off. It wasn't like she had time to help me anyway.

  She moved, her knees touching my thighs as she leaned over me. She pulled the collar of my shirt over and hissed. "You must've gotten sliced by the shoe guard on the floor by the bar. Mark said their boots were tearing the bar up, so he had it installed, but I've caught my foot on it a couple times." She leaned back to see my face. "It's kinda sharp. And nasty. We need to clean this up." She looked at it again. "You might even need stitches."

  "No stitches because that requires hospitals." I kept up my search for headlights in the rearview mirror. "Where do you live? I'll drop you off."

  She bit into her lip, a sure sign that I wasn't going to like her answer. "I'm not going home. You need me to help-"

  "You're going home," I said louder. "You can't stay with me."

  "I can't go home," she sulked and gulped. She sat roughly in the seat, not scooting over so we were still touching. She whispered to herself, "Oh, great. I'm going to have to tell you, aren't I?"

  "Tell me what?" I barked.

  "Let's just go to the drugstore, I'll fix you up, and then you can drop me off at the police station or something. I'll get a ride from there."

  "I'm not dropping you off anywhere but home at midnight. Where do you live?"

  She sighed and scooted all the way over to her door. I wanted to punch myself for missing her. She looked out her window and puffed a breath. It made a fog cloud on the glass. "Marley," I prompted.

  "I live in my car, OK?"

  I blinked, looked at the road, and then blinked some more. "What?"

  "I was a foster kid. They kicked me out of the system when I was eighteen. I got a job, but I've never been able to really...keep up. With the cost of classes and everything...I live in my car."

  What the hell was I supposed to say to that? There was no way I was going to take her to go sleep in her car when Biloxi just plowed through her place of employment. Speaking of, she was probably out of a job now. Daggumit.

  She scoffed. "Silence is what usually accompanies that little confession." Her laugh was humorless and the way she gripped her collar, as if she were hanging on for her life, made my
stomach flip. "Just drop me off at the nearest place and I'll be fine."

  "Like hell I'm just dropping you off somewhere," I heard myself say. I squeezed my eyes shut for just a second or two. "Marley..." I sighed.

  "Just ditch me. So what." She scoffed yet again, like she was used to people just throwing her away. "It's not like you know me."

  "I am going to ditch you!" I heard myself growl. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, remembering this was for her own good. "You're right. I don't know you and I've got to leave. That guy...he's after me. Has been for as long as I can remember." She whipped her gaze back to mine. "So yes, I'm ditching you. I've got to."

  She shook her head. "Wow. The ol' I'm a spy bit?" She looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to say gotcha or something. "Really?" I just glanced at her and then back to the road. "What's next? You're an FBI agent and I can't tell anyone or you'll have to kill me?"

  I just stayed silent. There was just no use in saying anything. She thought I was a jerk so let her just keep right on thinking that.

  She pointed out the window to an old drugstore. "Turn in here."

  "I told you I'll be fine," I argued.

  "Turn. In. Here," she growled in an angry, husky voice. I looked over and felt that growl all the way to my toes. What the hell was happening to me? This girl was reducing me to mush over the stupidest things. And she was aggravating as all get out, obviously had some daddy issues that would come into play later on, needed someone to take care of her—which sureas hell wasn't going to be me—and had managed to disarm me in more ways than one after she messed up my truck. The girl was batting five for five.

  Needless to say, I turned into the drugstore, parking in the back. As I turned off the ignition, I thought to myself that this could actually work to my advantage. Biloxi would expect me to skip town as soon as possible, most times without even going to my apartment to get my things. I didn't own much anyway, but still. I turned to her. She was looking at my shoulder. The worry was all over her face and though I couldn't help her in any other way, I could at least let her know that I was going to be fine. I got out quickly, wincing as the cut on my shoulder pulled, and came to her side. She had just opened her door. I took her hands and helped her down. She seemed a little taken aback by the gesture, but I just leaned in. "Are you sure you weren't hurt?"