Saving You

  Abigail was constantly on my ass about getting together. The idea of sleeping with her didn’t even appeal to me anymore. I realized this morning that I couldn’t keep doing this. I needed to tell Libby the truth about what had happened that first week I came to college. The night I met Karen and we slept together. The night I tried to push all my feelings for Libby deep down inside for fear of losing her friendship. I wasn’t sure how Libby would react. She might tell me to go fuck myself or she might …

  I shook my head and gathered up my books and put them in my backpack. I decided I would start off slow and ask her to a movie. I headed out of the library and made my way to Libby’s dorm. Glancing down at the clock, I knew she was finished with classes today and would most likely be there. I rounded the corner of Commons Halls, Libby’s building where her dorm room was and stopped dead in my tracks. Libby was leaning against the building and some asshole was kissing her. He pulled away and Libby placed her hand on the side of his face and smiled. His hand was resting on her hip as they both looked at each other and talked.

  All the air in my lungs was gone in an instant and I couldn’t breathe. I stood there and watched the two of them. He leaned in and began kissing her neck as she dropped her head back against the building and closed her eyes. I balled my fists together. When I saw his hand move up from her hip and lightly move across her breasts, I wanted to pound his face into the ground. I was frozen where I stood. Unable to pull my eyes away from Libby in the arms of another man. I had finally decided to tell Libby the truth, but I was too late. I waited too long. As Libby laughed at something the asshole said, I slowly forced my feet to move. Turning, I walked away from the only girl I’d ever loved.

  She’s moved on and was now with someone else. The bile rose up into my throat as I thought about another man touching Libby. How long had they been together? Who was this ass? She was looking at him like she wanted more. She wanted … him. I couldn’t get back to my dorm fast enough.

  PUSHING OPEN THE door to my dorm, I attempted to pull air into my lungs. Images of that asshole touching Libby and kissing her flooded my mind. I slammed the door shut. I needed a drink.

  “What in the hell is wrong with you?” Will asked as he looked at me with a stunned expression on his face.

  Glancing at Will I asked, “What?”

  Will pulled his head back and let out a gruff laugh. “The way you came storming in here just now, you look like you’re about to rip someone’s head off.”

  I looked around the room before I remembered I stashed a bottle of whiskey behind some books on the bookshelf. I walked over and moved a book out of the way and grabbed the whiskey. I took a drink from it as Will asked, “Where in the hell did you get that from?”

  Shaking my head, I took another drink. I needed to forget. I have to forget. I tipped my head back and took another swig.

  “Luke, dude, you have to talk to me. I’ve never seen you like this before. What in the hell is going on with you?”

  I looked over at my best friend. I could never tell him I was madly in love with his sister. He was pissed at me for kissing her and then breaking her heart. I had told him about Karen almost immediately. He had bugged me for months to talk to Libby, but I couldn’t. I could barely look her in the eyes the first time I came home from school.

  I gave him a wink. “Nothing. I just need to release some steam. Too much fucking bullshit in my mind.” I walked up to the window and looked out.

  “Want to talk about it?” Will asked as my phone began ringing. I pulled it out and saw Abigail’s name. I had sent her a text on my way back to my dorm.

  “Hey, Abigail, are you free?”

  “Hell yes, I’m free. It’s about damn time, Johnson. I’m heading up to my bedroom now to get undressed. The door will be unlocked.”

  Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.” I hit End and shoved the phone back into my pocket. Turning, I walked back over to the shelf and put the whiskey bottle back. I headed into the bathroom to splash my face with cold water.

  “Why the hell are you doing this, Luke?” Will asked.

  I poked my head out and looked at him. “Doing what?”

  He frowned. “Going to Abigail.” I stepped back into the bathroom and shut off the water. I walked back out and just starred at Will and chuckled. “I’m going to Abigail because I want to get laid. What’s wrong with that?”

  Will let out a sigh. “What about Libby?”

  I stopped, slowly turned and looked at him. “What about Libby?”

  Will looked pissed. He shook his head and glared at me. “Do you have feelings for my sister?”

  I swallowed hard as I shook my head and looked away.

  “Luke?”

  I turned and looked at him. “I can’t. I mean, I won’t do that to her. She means everything to me, and I’ll fuck it up, Will. I already broke her heart with the dick move I made on her when I left for college. What if I can’t … I mean, I don’t think I can … I’m not good enough for her, Will. She deserves someone better, and she found him.”

  Will’s eyes widened and he looked shocked. “Wait. What do you mean she found him?”

  I let out a frustrated laugh. “I mean she’s dating someone. I saw them, just now. I was going to ask her if she wanted to see a movie and she was leaning against the building of her dorm when some dick fucking kissed her.” Sucking in a deep breath I whispered, “She looked happy.” I turned away from him.

  “So because you see Lib kissing a guy, you run to Abigail? Why is okay for you to be with someone, but Libby can’t? Luke, did you honestly think she would wait forever?”

  I knew what I was doing was wrong. The way I was acting was not fair to Libby, but if Abigail could make me forget for a bit, then so be it. I needed to forget. I reached down for my truck keys. “I haven’t been with a girl in months. I need to get fucked.”

  I went to leave when Will grabbed my arm. “Don’t do this, Luke. If you want to be with someone …” He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before letting it out. “If you want to be with someone, be with the person you love. Luke, Libby loves you.”

  My heart slammed against my chest and my eyes widened in horror. No. No Will is wrong. She can’t love me after all the times I’ve pushed her away. I’ve never given her a reason to love me.

  “No … she doesn’t love me, Will.”

  Will let out a frustrated moan. “Luke, for Christ sakes, will you just admit you love her? She already …”

  Will immediately stopped talking. I looked into his eyes. “She already what?”

  He shook his head and glanced away before quickly looking back at me. “She was already your best friend once, Luke. Stop pushing her away. She cares about you and you …”

  I held up my hand to get him to stop talking. I had heard enough. I saw what I saw. If Libby loved me, she wouldn’t be letting another guy kiss and feel her up. “I’ve gotta go. Abigail is waiting on me.”

  Will called out after me. “Don’t do this, Luke. I swear to God, you’ll regret it.”

  FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER I was making my way up the stairs of the three-bedroom house Abigail shared with two other girls. I stopped outside Abigail’s bedroom and closed my eyes. The moment I saw Libby smiling at the asshole, my eyes sprung open. I reached down and opened the door. My dick jumped when I saw Abigail lying across her bed naked.

  “How are we doing this, Mr. Johnson? Are we in a loving kind of mood?” she asked as she slipped her fingers into her pussy and began moving them in and out.

  Shutting the door, I began unbuttoning my pants when my phone went off again. I reached into my pocket, took it out and turned it off. I set it on the dresser along with my truck keys. “Your roommates here?”

  She laughed. “Why, do you want them to join us?” I smiled and raised my eyebrows as I shook my head.

  “No, I want to hear you scream when I bury my dick deep inside you.”

  I quickly stripped out of
my clothes and made my way over to Abigail as I rolled the condom onto my dick. “Turn around— I’m fucking you from behind.”

  She quickly obeyed and before I even gave her a chance to say anything, I slammed into her hard and fast. She let out a scream. I needed to keep this raw. No emotions. I needed to forget.

  Abigail began moaning immediately. “I love it when you fuck me. Yes! Harder. Do it harder.”

  I spent the rest of the afternoon fucking Abigail over and over until we both collapsed onto the floor, exhausted and dragging in breaths of air.

  She turned and looked at me as she took in a deep breath. “That shit was worth the wait, baby.”

  I turned and looked at her as I smiled. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Libby. Fuck!

  Abigail got up and headed to her bathroom. “Can you stay?” I got up and made my way over to my clothes. I shook my head. “Nah, I have to get back.”

  She paused at the bathroom door and leaned against it. “I’m going to go take a shower. Want to join me?”

  I laughed. “Abigail, my dick couldn’t even function enough for me to take a piss right now. I need to get back.” She shrugged her shoulders and winked at me as she headed into the bathroom. She called over her shoulder, “Your loss, cowboy.”

  I pulled my shirt over my head and walked over to the dresser. I grabbed my phone and saw I had missed calls from Will and Grace.

  “Abigail, I’m leaving,” I called out.

  “Till next time!”

  The moment I walked into the hall and shut her bedroom door, the guilt flooded my body and I felt like I couldn’t pull in enough air to breathe. The temporary distraction of fucking Abigail had not been enough. Making my way down the stairs, I passed one of Abigail’s roommates. She smiled at me as she whispered, “My turn next, cowboy?” I smiled back and picked up my pace. I needed out of that house.

  I COULDN’T HELP but stare at Zach. We had been sitting at Starbucks for the last hour or so talking. The moment I first saw Zach, his light-blue eyes held me captive. We met through a mutual friend who introduced us. I wasn’t looking to start dating anyone, but it finally hit me over Christmas break. Luke was never going to admit his feelings for me. Taking rejection after rejection was beginning to weigh me down.

  “That’s when my father decided to move to Austin.”

  Snapping out of my daydream, I smiled. Zach was handsome, not as handsome as Luke though. His dark-blond hair was always perfect. He dressed like he stepped out of a GQ magazine and he stood just a bit shorter than Luke. I didn’t fit against Zach’s body like I did Luke’s. I looked down and away.

  Luke.

  “When do I get to meet your parents?”

  Pulling my head back I asked, “What?”

  Zach started laughing. “You seemed so lost in thought, Lib. I needed to say something to bring you back.”

  I giggled, reached across the table and hit his shoulder.

  Zach leaned back and looked at me. His eyes screamed he wanted me, but I wasn’t ready yet. I wasn’t sure when I would be ready and if he would even be the one. I had been saving myself for Luke. Since I could remember, I wanted my first time to be with him. “I’m starved. How about Saltgrass?”

  I nodded my head. “That sounds good.” My phone beeped and I looked down to see I had a text from Alex.

  Alex: Grace and I are in town.

  Me: OMG! I want to see you!

  I looked up at Zach and smiled bigger. “My two best friends from home are in town. Can I invite them and my brother to dinner with us?

  Zach smiled. “Alex and … Grace?”

  The fact that he remembered Alex and Grace’s names caused my stomach to jump. “Yes. Alex is dating my brother Will. Grace is Luke’s sister.”

  Zach’s smile faded a bit. “Luke? Who’s Luke?”

  I swallowed hard. I had failed to mention Luke to Zach. “I haven’t mentioned Luke to you before? Are you sure?” My heart began pounding. Why did I never mention Luke to Zach?

  Zach shook his head. “Not that I can remember.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “He’s another friend, from home.” I let out a nervous chuckle. “My brother and Luke are roommates.”

  Zach nodded his head. “Why don’t you invite them all for dinner?”

  Smiling weakly, I began typing out a text to Alex.

  Me: Are you free this evening?

  Alex: Yep! Why what’s up?

  Me: About to go to dinner at Saltgrass Steakhouse.

  Alex: With who?

  Me: A guy named Zach. We went out to a movie and will be heading to dinner soon.

  Alex: A date. What about Luke?

  Me: I can’t wait for someone who clearly doesn’t want the same thing I want. Besides, he’s been hooking up with that Abigail girl the last few months.

  Alex: What about what he said to you?

  Me: He was drunk. I’m done waiting. Want to meet us for dinner?

  Alex: Okay. Will went back to his dorm to get some clothes, so he could stay with me at the hotel for the weekend. Can we meet you there in half an hour?

  Me: Sure! We’re just talking at Starbucks. Make sure Grace knows!

  Alex: Okay. See you soon, sweetie!

  I set my phone down and tried to push Luke from my mind. I smiled sweetly at Zach. “Alex, Will, and Grace will be joining us at the Saltgrass.”

  Zach’s smile made my heart melt. He was beyond sweet to me and treated me like I was his world. We’d only been dating for a few weeks, but I loved that he hadn’t pushed me into anything. He was taking it slow and that was what I needed.

  Zach stood and reached his hand for mine. “May we stop by my dorm so I change first? I don’t want your brother meeting me for the first time and I’m in running shorts.”

  I let out a nervous laugh. “He wouldn’t care, but yes, we can stop by your dorm.”

  I sent Alex a text letting her know we might be a few minutes late since we had to stop at Zach’s dorm.

  We walked in and Zach looked around. I was guessing he was looking for his roommate. He turned and looked into my eyes. I let out a small gasp when he quickly pushed me against the door.

  “Lib, I want to kiss you.”

  My breathing increased and I slowly smiled. “I’m not stopping you.”

  Zach leaned down and gently kissed my lips. I moved my hand to the base of his neck and pulled him in more so he would deepen the kiss. His tongue ran along my lips and I opened up to him. His coffee and my tea mixed together as we got lost in the kiss.

  Zach pulled away and rested his head against my head. “Libby, you have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”

  I closed my eyes and a memory of Luke instantly invaded my mind.

  I WAS LEANING against the tree gasping for air. Luke and I had been paired up against Colt and Grace in the scavenger hunt.

  “Did … you … get … the … plate?” Luke asked in between breaths. I smiled as I held up the sterling silver platter that had sat in Gunner and Ellie’s china cabinet. Luke had distracted Ellie while I snuck into their formal dining room and took the plate. I had walked into the kitchen and gave him a look and quickly walked out the back door as I yelled good-bye to Ellie. The moment the door shut I took off running.

  The smile that spread across Luke’s face caused me to laugh. “Damn girl!” He grabbed me and pulled me to him as he picked me and spun me around. When he finally put me back down my body was screaming all kinds of weird stuff. I loved being in his arms. I loved him touching me. I loved … him.

  Luke reached over and took a curl that hung down in front of my eyes. He tucked it behind my ear as he whispered, “You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”

  “LIBBY? ARE YOU okay?”

  Zach’s voice pulled me out of my memory. I smiled and nodded my head. “Yes, I’m sorry. I mean, thank you for the compliment. Sorry, I got lost in thought.”

  Zach tilted his head. I knew he wanted to ask me what I had been thinking about b
ut he didn’t. “Let me go change.”

  “Okay. I’ll be right here. Waiting. Um … here.” I rolled my eyes and looked away when he chuckled. I wasn’t sure why I felt so nervous. I guess it was being alone in his room with him that had me on edge.

  Two minutes later he came walking out in jeans and a black shirt.

  He reached for my hand and we headed to the restaurant.

  The drive to the Saltgrass was lighthearted and fun. Zach had a wonderful sense of humor, but it was nothing like Luke’s.

  Ugh. Stop comparing him to Luke, Libby!

  We walked in and the hostess pointed in the direction of where everyone was sitting. Zach leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I hope your brother likes me.”

  I glanced over at him and winked. “He’s going to like you. Stop worrying.”

  As we walked up to the table, my smile quickly vanished when I saw Luke sitting there. I snapped my eyes over to Alex who mouthed, sorry.

  I looked back at Luke and he mumbled something. I forced a smile and looked at Will. “Hey y’all. Um … Zach, this is my brother, Will and next to Will is my best friend, Alex.” Zach reached out and shook Will’s hand and then Alex’s hand.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you both. I’ve heard so much about the both of you.”

  Smiling, I turned to Grace. “This is my other best friend, Grace.”

  “Grace, it’s a real pleasure. Lib has talked a lot about you.”

  I immediately saw Luke tense up. He looked pissed. Luke had been the first person to start calling me Lib. He was the only guy who ever called me that, besides Will.

  Swallowing hard, I turned to face Luke. “Um … Zach, this is, um … Luke. Luke and Grace are brother and sister.”

  Luke reached out his hand and shook Zach’s. Zach was about to talk when Luke started talking.

  “Hey there, Zach. So, how long have y’all been dating?”

  My mouth dropped open and I shot Luke a dirty look. Zach looked at me and I quickly smiled. “What? About two weeks now?”

  I nodded my head. “Yes, almost three.”

  Zach pulled my chair out and I sat. The guys all sat after I did.