Saving You

  Zach’s phone started to ring. He pulled it out of his pocket and said, “Shit, I have to take this call, Libby. I’ll be right back.” Zach looked over my shoulder. “Hey, your friend Luke is here. Y’all should dance together.”

  “That’s a wonderful idea.”

  My eyes widened in horror at the sound of Luke’s voice. I spun around and saw him standing there. I looked around for the blonde. “She excused herself for a phone call.”

  My mouth dropped open slightly. I turned to say something to Zach, but he was already out the door. I felt Luke’s hand on my waist and my breathing stopped.

  Turning back around, I gave him a smirk as he held open his arms. Frank Sinatra’s “It Had To Be You” began playing. Luke pulled me into his arms as we began to dance. I was terrified he would hear my heart pounding in my chest.

  “How have you been, Libby?”

  Taking in a deep breath, I was overcome with Luke’s musky smell. I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself from burying my face into his chest. I looked into his green eyes. I slowly licked my dry lips and reached deep down into my stomach to find my voice again. Something about being in Luke’s arms, with a stupid Frank Sinatra song playing, had me all weak in the knees.

  “I’ve been um, fine. Busy with school and …” My voice trailed off.

  “Zach?”

  I pulled my head back. “What?”

  Luke smiled and said, “You’ve been busy with Zach?”

  I looked back to the door, willing Zach to walk through it and take me out of my misery right now.

  Glancing back at Luke I asked, “Who’s the blonde? A new fuck buddy?”

  Luke tensed in my arms as his smile faded. “An old girlfriend.”

  An old girlfriend? Hell I wasn’t expecting him to say that.

  I was sure my confused expression was priceless. “I started dating her beginning of my freshman year.”

  Anger consumed me as I looked away. “I guess that explains things.”

  “Excuse me?” Luke asked as we stopped dancing.

  I let out a nervous laugh. “Why worry about the girl you kissed the night before you left for college when you can have something like that? Who cares if you left her wondering what in the hell she did wrong.”

  Hurt flashed across Luke’s face and for one brief moment, I was glad he felt the same hurt I was feeling. I held up my hands and said, “You know what, I’m sorry I even said anything.”

  I spun around, but Luke grabbed my arm. “Wait,” he said in a whisper.

  I dropped my head and shook it. “Wait for what, Luke? Wait for you to get drunk again and tell me how you really feel and come on to me because that’s the only time you’re attracted me?”

  “Me? What the fuck, Libby? You want to talk about getting drunk and coming on to someone? What about that night during Christmas break?”

  I slowly turned around and looked at him. “What are you talking about?”

  Luke threw his head back and laughed before he looked back into my eyes. “You really don’t remember? You came into the barn and practically begged me to fuck you, Libby!”

  My hands came up to my mouth as I stood there. I shook my head and moved my hands to my stomach. “Did we? Oh my God … please tell me we didn’t? Oh God, no!”

  Luke’s smirk faded and it looked as if tears were building in his eyes. “Don’t look so repulsed by the idea of being with me, Libby. Nothing happened. Glad to know the idea of being with me makes you feel sick though. I won’t be bothering you again. Drunk or sober.”

  Luke took a step back and was about to turn around when I called out his name. “Luke, wait I didn’t …”

  “Libby? Is everything okay here?” Zach’s voice stopped me in my tracks as I stood there and watched the blonde walking back in and up to Luke. She wrapped her arm around him and reached up on her tiptoes and whispered something into his ear. He looked down at her and gave her a slight smile as he nodded his head. They turned and walked back to the table where Luke pulled out his wallet and threw money down.

  I tried to call out for him, but nothing came from my mouth. “Libby? What’s going on?”

  I turned back to Zach. “Nothing, I’m sorry. Can we get out of here now?”

  Zach pulled his head back with a worried looked on his face. “Are you sure Luke didn’t do or say something to upset you?”

  Putting on my best fake smile I nodded my head. “I’m sure. If anything he just showed me how I’m ready to move on.”

  Raising his eyebrow, Zach asked, “Move on?”

  Smiling, I took a step closer to him as I reached up and put my lips to his ear. “I’m ready, Zach.”

  Swallowing hard, Zach searched my eyes. The corners of his mouth rose in a smile as he took my hand and led me out of the restaurant.

  My head was spinning. I needed to push Luke Johnson from my mind and heart once and for all and I only knew of one way to do it.

  Zach walked me to the passenger side of the car and opened it. “Please, take me now, Zach. I need you now.” Zach reached his hand behind my neck and pulled my lips to his. It didn’t take long to get lost in his kiss as I pushed my fingers through his hair.

  Yes. I am finally going to be able to move on.

  STEPPING THROUGH THE door of Starbucks, coffee in hand, I began to head back to Hullaboo Hall, where my dorm was. I sighed in relief, knowing I was going to have some alone time finally. I had a one-room dorm, but next year I would most likely be moving into the house that my parents bought along with Alex and Grace’s parents.

  Zach had been all over me since I mentioned I was ready to go all the way with him. His father had called and needed him to come home for a family emergency, so he was gone that night I told him I wanted to make love. Then with finals, we had both been busy.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, reaching in I pulled it out.

  Zach: I can’t wait to see you sweetheart. I’ve been fighting a damn hard on for the last two days. I can’t wait to be with you. I’ve been dreaming of this moment since you first smiled at me. I’ll be there this afternoon.

  I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, only to run smack into someone. My coffee went everywhere. “Shit,” I said as I knelt down and began picking up the books I dropped. When the person I ran into bent down, I knew instantly it was Luke. Glancing up, our eyes met. “I’m, ah, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention,” I said as Luke gave me a weak smile. His eyes were filled with sadness. I swallowed hard as we looked into each other’s eyes.

  “No worries. You seemed occupied with your phone.” Luke handed me a book and I began wiping it, getting most of the coffee off. Luke had slowly stood and I began to stand as well, reaching for the spilled coffee cup. When I looked at Luke, I saw him looking down at my phone.

  “Luke? Um, can I get my phone back?” Luke turned and looked at me. His eyes were filled with regret. He slowly handed me my phone, turned, and walked away. I pulled my head back in surprise and watched as he walked off. I slipped my phone into my pocket and headed to my dorm room.

  Thirty minutes later there was a knock on my door. I swallowed hard and took another look in the mirror. My blonde hair was pulled up and piled on top of my head in a loose bun. I had on a Texas A&M tank top, sans bra, and short jean shorts. I spun on my heels and opened the door.

  Zach’s mouth dropped open as his eyes traveled up and down my body. “Jesus, you’re breathtaking.”

  Zach moved into my room and shut the door behind him. His hands cupped my face as he pressed his lips against mine and pushed me against the wall. I moaned as his hand traveled under my tank top as he began to twist and pull my nipple.

  Zach pulled his lips from mine, as he looked me in the eyes. “Lib, are you sure?”

  The memory of Luke walking away from me this afternoon fueled my decision more. “Yes, I’m sure.”

  I need to forget. I have to forget. Please let this make me forget.

  I CLOSED MY eyes as I lay next to Zach. That was not w
hat I thought my first time would be like. It lacked passion and love. And something far more important, the man I wanted my first time to be with. I felt the tears begin to pool in my eyes. My mother’s words of advice replayed over and over in my mind. If only I’d listened to them. I sat up and reached for my robe. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  Zach mumbled something as he lay there. Wrapping the robe around my body, I tied it and grabbed my phone as I made my way into the bathroom.

  Shutting the door, I leaned against it and dropped my head back. “Oh God. What did I just do?” I whispered. I dropped down onto the cold tile floor and activated the screen on my phone. Zach’s text message was on the screen. My hand slowly moved up to my mouth as I closed my eyes and thought about earlier when I ran into Luke.

  Looking down, I read the text message again. Luke must have read it and that was why he turned and walked away from me. He knew I was going to sleep with Zach. Tears began to spill from my eyes as I quickly wiped them away, trying to contain my sobs. I closed Zach’s message and opened up one to Alex. I was about to start typing a text to her when there was a knock at my dorm room door. I jumped up and quickly wiped away my tears. I opened the bathroom door and smiled weakly at Zach.

  “Were you expecting a delivery or something?” Zach asked. I shook my head, fearing if I talked my voice would betray me. I opened the door and saw Luke standing there.

  “Luke? What are you doing here?”

  He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. My heart began to race. “I need to talk to you, Lib.”

  He was too late.

  He came too late.

  “If you wanted to talk, you should have talked to me months ago.” Before I gave myself to another man, when all I wanted was to be with you.

  I closed the door more so that Luke couldn’t see Zach, lying in my bed—naked.

  “Libby, please just let me come in. I need to talk to you.” His words were pleading and destroyed my already broken heart into a million pieces.

  He let out a sigh. “Lib, just let me in … please.”

  I shook my head. “Now is not a good time, Luke. Can you come back later?”

  “No, I’m tired of this, Libby. I can’t take it anymore. I need to talk to you.”

  I closed the door more. “Later, Luke.” Before I knew what was happening, he lifted his hand and pushed the door open and began walking in. I covered my mouth with my hand. I felt sick to my stomach.

  “Oh, God,” Luke whispered as he looked at Zach sitting up in my bed. Zach smiled slightly.

  “Um, I believe she told you this wasn’t a good time.”

  Luke turned and looked at me. I was frozen. I couldn’t say a word as my heart pounded loudly in my ears.

  Luke looked down to the floor and quickly walked out the door, quietly shutting it behind him.

  He was too late. The moment I heard the door shut, I turned and walked into the bathroom again. Soon my body was shaking with sobs as I sat on the cold floor and cried like I’ve never cried before.

  Luke …

  SITTING IN MY truck, I thought back to a few weeks ago when I had walked in on Libby and Zach. My stomach felt sick any time I thought about it. With everything that had happened with Alex and her attempted rape, Libby and I had pretty much ignored each other and focused on Alex since coming back to Mason.

  Tonight was the barn dance at Mr. Banks’ place and Grace pretty much forced me into going. She kept saying I needed to get out and socialize with people. I knew Libby would be there tonight and I dreaded seeing her. Will told me that Libby had broken up with Zach the same day she had slept with him for the first time. I knew by me rejecting Libby as much as I did, I was most likely the reason she pushed herself into sleeping with Zach. Knowing that Libby felt like she had made a mistake played havoc on my heart.

  Opening the truck door, I jumped out and headed to the entrance to wait on Will, who had just pulled in. Will jumped out of his truck, and jogged around to the passenger side and opened the door for his cousin, Trish. Making their way to me, I held out my hand and Trish took it. “It’s good to see you again, Trish. Are you ready for your first barn dance?”

  She nodded her head in excitement. “Bring it on!” Shaking my head I laughed. Will, Trish, and I headed into the barn. I looked around and didn’t see anyone else here yet. “Come on, Trish. Let’s show Luke what I’ve taught you so far. Trish chuckled as Will pulled her out onto the dance floor.

  I felt a hand slip around my waist. I looked and saw Claire Montgomery looking up at me. “Hey, cowboy. Long time no see.”

  Tipping my cowboy hat, I smiled in her direction. “Claire, how are you doing?”

  Smiling bigger, she winked at me as she said, “I’d do a hell of a lot better if you took me for a spin—on the dance floor.”

  Letting out a chuckle, I grabbed her hand. “Come on girl, let’s two-step for a bit.”

  Claire and I fell right into step. I knew all I would have to do is take her to my truck and she’d let me fuck her senseless, but Claire was not who I wanted. She’d come in handy a few times, especially when she fell to her knees and would suck me off. Of course every time I let her do that, I was drunk out of my mind.

  I spun Claire around as she laughed. Looking up, I saw Libby looking directly at me. Maegan, Alex, Taylor, and Lauren were all standing around looking out on the dance floor.

  Fuck. I looked away and finished my dance with Claire. When the song ended, I excused myself and headed over to where Colt was talking to a few guys from his football team. He was talking about playing football with Texas A&M.

  I turned when I heard Alex laying into Claire. Turning around, I stood there while Alex basically told Claire to fuck off and stay away from both Will and me. Claire pushed past Alex and me as she made her way out of the barn to leave.

  Laughing, I brought Alex in for a hug. “Damn, little cousin. Where in the hell did that come from?

  Alex giggled. “I guess I got tired of hiding inside my own body.” I pushed a piece of Alex’s hair behind her ear. I hated what she had gone through this past summer. I grinned and said, “Welcome back, Alex.”

  She grinned and said, “It feels good to be back. Hey, Luke?”

  “Yeah?”

  Clearing her throat, Alex asked, “Did Will tell you that Libby left Zach?”

  My smile instantly disappeared. “Um—yeah, he did.”

  Alex placed her hand on my chest. “Stop hiding inside yourself, Luke. She’s not going to wait forever.”

  Looking up, I saw Libby. She was watching Alex and me. She smiled weakly as I smiled back. “I know,” I whispered.

  A FEW WEEKS before school started back up, we all headed down to Port Aransas for a week. It felt great to get away and relax and it was the start to what we hoped would be an annual tradition.

  “Libby, you can’t play anymore!” Grace shouted.

  Libby started laughing. “What? Why?”

  Grace was throwing the volleyball up in the air. “You’re too good.”

  I ran up and grabbed the ball. “Awe, is Grace pitching a fit ‘cause she sucks at volleyball?” I rubbed the top of her head and she pushed my arm away.

  “Fuck off, Luke. I swear, if you weren’t my brother.” I laughed as I jogged over and threw the ball to Alex. She served and Grace volleyed it back over as Libby jumped up and spiked it right in front of Colt. Maegan moaned and pushed Colt.

  “Pay attention, Colt Mathews!”

  Colt spun around and looked at Maegan. “I was, Meg. I can’t help it if she’s good.”

  Maegan rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’d rather be tanning!”

  Lauren laughed as she jumped up and down as if she was warming up. Grace turned and looked at Will, who was walking down from the house. “Hayes! Get down here. Your damn sister is kicking our ass!”

  Will laughed as he started jogging. He ran up and grabbed Libby and threw her over his shoulder as Libby let out a scream. I ch
ased after him. “Put our star player down!”

  Will tried to turn but I grabbed Libby and attempted to take her from Will. He lost his balance and began falling, but not before I grabbed Libby and pulled her to me. I lost my balance and she fell on top of me.

  She was laughing as she looked at me. “I’m having déjà vu,” she said with a chuckle. I thought back to the day at the ranch when she had fallen on me. I loved having her in my arms. I smiled and winked at her. She pushed off of me and jumped up and clapped her hands.

  “Let’s kick some ass!” Libby shouted as she and Alex jumped and high-fived each other.

  I SAT IN the pool house, attempting to catch my breath. Libby and I had gone running on the beach tonight. I tried five times to tell her how I felt. I tried like hell to tell her I loved her, but all I kept seeing was me sleeping with Karen. What if I hurt Libby again? What if I wasn’t good enough for her?

  You’re hurting her now by pushing her away.

  I was tired of the push and pull from the voices in my head. I needed to tell Libby how I felt about her, and the sooner the better, before I pushed her into another man’s arms again. I stood up and pulled my T-shirt over my head as I opened the door to the pool house. Libby fell into my arms as she let out a small scream. I grabbed her and pulled her to me. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked at my bare chest. “Um … I … my … um …” She pulled her eyes from my abs and chest and looked into my eyes. “You have my phone still from our run earlier.”

  “Oh shit, yeah. Sorry!” I said as I reached into my shorts pocket and pulled out her phone. When I handed it to her, our fingers brushed together and my stomach dipped. Libby’s mouth opened slightly and I knew she felt the same thing I did.

  Smiling she turned and walked away. I pushed my hand through my hair and cursed. “Fuck me. I’m not going to make it through this week.”’

  I SAT ON the beach and tipped back my beer as I finished it off. Setting it to the side, I looked out over the dark waters of the gulf. I closed my eyes and pictured Libby at the dance club. The sexy silver cocktail dress she wore tonight had almost every fucker in the club staring at her. I sat there and watched her dance with that built motherfucker for three dances before I got up and cut in. I was surprised when he stepped away without a fight.