Golem in the Gears

  “The lamp,” he asked, looking at it as the fog about it dissipated.

  “This is a lighthouse. The beam has to keep swinging around and around, so that the Monster of the Sea doesn’t crash against the rocks in the dark.”

  Oh, the big lamp! “But the Monster of the Sea doesn’t come here!” Grundy exclaimed. “He’s afraid of the Sea Hag.”

  “The what?”

  “The Sea Hag. She—”

  “What is this word “hag?”

  Was she teasing him? “That’s what I have to tell you, that you may not like. Maybe you’d better sit down for this.”

  “Very well,” she agreed readily enough. “Hold my hand.”

  He held her hand, no great chore, and they walked to the edge of the table. Then she jumped off—and changed to human size in midair. She landed solidly, but Grundy was still clasping one of her fingers. Then she lifted him down, and across to the couch, where she reversed the process. Now the two of them were sitting on the couch, quite comfortable.

  Grundy remained somewhat awed by the facility with which she shifted size without sacrificing any of her daintyness, but he forced himself to focus on the subject. “It’s about the one you call ‘Mother Sweetness,’ ” he said. “She—may not be quite what you believe.”

  “But I’ve known her all my life!” Rapunzel exclaimed.

  “How did you come to be here in the Ivory Tower?” he asked, hoping to find a way to say what needed to be said without alienating her.

  “Well, I don’t remember it myself, but from what I have been told, my parents were in trouble, and Mother Sweetness arranged to help them, and so they gave their next child to her to raise, and that was me. And I really have no right to complain, for Mother Sweetness has been very good to me, but sometimes—”

  There wasn’t going to be any easy way. “Outside, she is known as the Sea Hag,” he said. “She takes young women and—and uses their bodies.”

  “I don’t understand,” Rapunzel said, her brow furrowing prettily.

  “She—takes over their bodies. Makes them hers. I don’t know what happens to the—the original owners. So instead of being an old hag, suddenly she’s young and beautiful. Then she arranges for a new body, for when she gets old again and needs it. That way, she’s immortal—only not with her own body.”

  Rapunzel stiffened. “I can’t believe that!”

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t,” Grundy said. “But if you don’t believe it, you may be doomed to a fate worse than death.”

  “But Mother Sweetness has always treated me so well.”

  “And never let you leave the Ivory Tower.”

  “I explained about that. The light—the Monster—”

  “And I explained that the Monster never comes this way, except this time, to help rescue you. He knows the Sea Hag of old.”

  She shook her head. “You seem like such a nice person! How can you say such a mean thing about Mother Sweetness?”

  She refused to believe him. For that he could hardly blame her—yet somehow he had to convince her. “Well, I understand that she can’t take over a person’s body unless that person gives permission. So if you don’t give permission, then maybe you’ll be safe, even if you don’t believe. You don’t want your body taken over by another person, do you?”

  Rapunzel shuddered fetchingly. “No, of course not! But I just can’t believe that Mother Hag—I mean, Mother Sweetness would ever do such a thing! She’s taken such good care of me!”

  “Because the Sea Sweetness—I mean, the Sea Hag wants to have the best possible body to use! She has prepared you exactly for her purpose, telling you only what she wants you to know, preventing you from ever learning the truth. Does she know you’ve been corresponding with Ivy?”

  “Of course. I was afraid she would be vexed, but when she learned that Ivy was only a child she decided that it was all right. Children don’t know very much. But I’m not allowed any other pun-pals.”

  “Because she doesn’t want you to learn anything about the real world! Not until it’s too late!”

  Rapunzel shook her head. “I just can’t believe—”

  There was a voice from outside. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair!”

  “Oh, she’s back!” the girl exclaimed, her hand flying to her mouth in alarm. “She mustn’t find you here!”

  Grundy felt the same. But he was trapped; he and Snortimer couldn’t escape, with the Hag waiting below. What was he to do now?

  8

  The Sea Hag

  “Rapunzel!” the Hag called more peremptorily from below.

  “Oh, I must let her in!” the girl said, jumping off the couch and becoming human-sized.

  “You mustn’t!” Grundy cried. “She and I are natural enemies!”

  “I don’t know what to do!” Rapunzel exclaimed, distraught.

  “Whatever you do, don’t let her in!” Grundy said. “She is an evil creature.”

  “Rapunzel!” the Hag called again.

  “I just can’t believe what you say about Mother Sweetness!” Rapunzel said, going to the window.

  Grundy realized that the more he tried to condemn the Hag, the more it damaged his own credibility in the damsel’s eyes. He would have to face the Hag directly. He dreaded the prospect, but saw no alternative. “Then let her in,” he said with resignation.

  Rapunzel was already taking the combs out of her hair and letting it drop down outside the Tower. Then she braced herself as the Hag took hold below.

  Grundy saw how the slack went out of her hair and how it jerked as it was hauled on. But this did not seem to discomfit the girl as it might have; her head moved only marginally as the hair took the weight of the climber. He realized that this was part of its magic: not only did it add no particular volume or weight to her head, it nullified the weight of what touched it, as far as Rapunzel was concerned. She really seemed to be a creature of two magic talents—but he knew that the magic of heredity didn’t count as a talent, so her size-changes weren’t a talent. The rules of magic could seem devious at times, but they were reasonably consistent.

  What was he going to say to the dread Sea Hag? He was horrified by the prospect of this confrontation. She doesn’t have any other magic! he reminded himself desperately. All she can do is kill herself and take over the body of whoever lets her. I don’t need to be afraid of that! But he was afraid. He wished he could have avoided this scene. If only he had left before the Hag returned!

  All too soon the Hag reached the window and scrambled in. She was indeed an ugly creature. She wore a black cloak and black cap with a dangerous-looking hatpin, and black high-heeled boots and black gloves; even had she been beautiful, her aspect would have seemed sinister. Her facial features were not physically deformed; in a picture they might have seemed ordinary, considering her evident age. But evil animated them, causing her mouth to be lined with cruelty, her nose to project snoopiness, her ears to be attuned to slanderous sounds, and her eyes to focus on all that was ugliest in the situation. Grundy hated her instantly and thoroughly—but he was also sickly afraid of her.

  “Mother Sweetness!” Rapunzel exclaimed, embracing the Hag. That appalled Grundy, but he dared not protest.

  The old woman glared about, her nose sniffing. “I smell intruder!” she snapped. Then her mean old eyes fastened on Grundy.

  “I—I have a visitor—” Rapunzel explained faintly.

  “That’s no visitor—that’s a wretched golem!” the Hag hissed.

  “You aren’t any great beauty yourself, picklesnoot,” Grundy retorted automatically, before he realized what he was going to do. His terror of the Hag reduced him to his most fundamental nature: the smart mouth.

  “I’ll get rid of it!” the Hag exclaimed. She strode to a closet and fetched out a broom.

  “Whatcha going to do with that, witch—ride it?” Grundy demanded.

  “I’m going to sweep you right out of this Tower!” she exclaimed, coming at him with the broom.
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  “Oh!” Rapunzel exclaimed, appalled by this violence.

  Suddenly Grundy realized that this could be a way to convince the damsel of the truth about the Hag. Let the evil witch show her nature! “You couldn’t sweep the dust out of your ears, old snoop!” he taunted her, dodging nimbly to the side as the deadly broom swept across.

  “Stand still, you runt, and I’ll flatten you!” the Hag grunted, smashing the broom down at him.

  But Grundy had had decades of experience dodging just such attacks, and readily avoided the blow. However, he paced himself so as to be just a little way clear, so that the Hag would not know how clumsy her attack was.

  This had an unanticipated effect It fooled Rapunzel too, and she screamed as the broom landed. “Ooo, you’ll squish him!” she cried, horrified.

  Grundy was quick to take advantage of the situation. He scrambled to the damsel and hauled himself up her skirt and to her pretty shoulder. “Don’t let her squish me!” he pleaded in her fair ear.

  The Hag, enraged, raised the broom like a club and charged forward—only to discover where Grundy had gone. She paused, broom threatening.

  “What are you doing, Mother Sweetness?” Rapunzel cried, distraught. “I’ve never seen you like this!”

  The Hag lowered the broom and composed herself, not wishing to disillusion the damsel. After all, if Rapunzel ever got the notion that the Hag was evil, she would not cooperate by yielding her body for the Hag’s use.

  This, Grundy realized, was the true confrontation: the question of whether Hag or Golem was telling the truth. If he could win that, he would be able to rescue the damsel; if he could not, then all was lost.

  The Hag forced a smile to her malevolent face. “I am only trying to rid this chamber of this rodent,” she explained.

  “Ask her why she keeps you prisoner here,” Grundy suggested.

  “But you are not a prisoner, my dear!” the Hag protested before Rapunzel could speak. “This is your home.”

  “Ask her why you never get to go out,” Grundy prompted.

  “But someone must remain to supervise the lighthouse lamp,” the Hag said. “It operates independently, but sometimes it glitches, and then it must be promptly attended to. You know that, my dear. Now just let me remove this vermin—” She extended her gloved hand.

  “Ask her why she doesn’t tend the lamp while you go out,” Grundy said quickly.

  “But you don’t know the outside world,” the Hag said.

  “Yes I do, Mother Sweetness,” Rapunzel said. “You have taught me all about Xanth, haven’t you?”

  This made the Hag pause. She had of course taught the damsel only what she felt it was safe for the damsel to know and that would also be useful after she took over the body herself. Naturally a lot had been omitted, but it would be awkward to admit that.

  “Has she told you about the way the Monster of the Sea never uses the lighthouse beam?” Grundy asked the damsel.

  “But the Monster does use it,” the Hag protested as innocently as she could pretend.

  “How odd that the Monster told me the opposite,” Grundy remarked.

  “Rapunzel, are you going to believe this little liar?” the Hag demanded.

  Now Rapunzel hesitated. She really did not know whom to believe. “I—”

  Grundy saw that straight dialogue was not going to do it. He would have to force the Hag’s hand more directly—and that would be risky. “Maybe I’m wrong,” he said to the Hag. “If I stop insulting you, will you let me alone?”

  The sinister calculations passed almost visibly across the evil face. The Hag didn’t know how much he might have told the damsel before the Hag’s return, or how much of that the damsel believed. Certainly she didn’t want him staying around to utter more truths to the damsel. She would try to eliminate him at the earliest opportunity. “Why of course, you little—creature,” the Hag said with a semblance of sincerity.

  So far, so good. “Then I’ll just cross over to the bed and rest myself,” Grundy said. He climbed down Rapunzel, who was a bit startled by the procedure, and scooted across the floor to the bed. He hiked himself up the leg of it. “Stay alert,” he muttered to Snortimer as he passed.

  He reached the top, and made himself comfortable. “How about something to eat, old crone?” he inquired politely.

  The Hag stiffened. As he had suspected, she had not taught Rapunzel the meaning of terms like “crone.” The damsel probably thought it was a respectful address, and the Hag dared not signify otherwise.

  Then the Hag smiled, though it was as if she had to use hooks to stretch her grim mouth into the configuration. “Of course, Golem. I’ll be right back.” She trundled out to the kitchen.

  “Mother Sweetness always speaks the truth to you?” Grundy asked in the moment that granted him. He knew the Hag was listening, and would zip right back if he tried to disillusion the damsel.

  “Always,” Rapunzel agreed.

  “So if you ever found her deceiving you in one thing—”

  “Here is your food,” the Hag said, back already. She carried a chunk of hardbread almost as big as Grundy himself.

  “That’s great, old trot,” he said with a smile. “Set it down right there.” He gestured to the foot of the bed.

  But the Hag was bringing it right to him. “I know this will do you good,” she said between her clenched teeth.

  “On your mark, Snort,” he murmured, low-level.

  Suddenly the Hag dropped the roll and grabbed Grundy. “Ha, I’ve got you, you little chunk of garbage!” she exclaimed.

  “What are you going to do with me, grotesque Hag?” Grundy demanded loudly.

  “I’m going to wring your stupid tiny sniveling neck, Golem!” she said.

  “But you promised to leave me alone, snotface!”

  “And you were fool enough to believe me, you bit of rag and bone!” she exclaimed with satisfaction.

  “But that means you broke your word, prunebottom!” he said as if shocked.

  “Oh!” Rapunzel cried with maidenly dismay.

  The Hag glanced back at her. “Oh, shucks!” she muttered. “Well, I’ll get her straightened around after I’m rid of you. She always listens to my side, when there’s nothing else.” And she took hold of Grundy’s head and started to twist.

  “Now, Snort!” he screamed.

  A huge hairy hand reached out from under the bed and grasped the Hag’s thin ankle. It squeezed and yanked.

  The Hag let out a truly grotesque shriek and dropped Grundy. Simultaneously there was a snort of deep disgust: Snortimer’s, because of the poor quality of the ankle he had had to grab.

  Grundy was ready for this. Instead of falling, he clung to the witch’s hand, scrambled to her arm, and up to her shoulder. There in her cap was the huge metal hatpin he had spied before. While she flailed with her arms, trying to catch her balance, he took hold of the round knob at the base of the pin and hauled the length of steel out of the hat. In a moment he had a fine sword.

  The Hag finally managed to wrench her foot away from Snortimer’s grasp. Grundy jumped down to the bed, holding his weapon. He bounced several times, as if on a Mundane trampoline, but kept his balance.

  “What’s a Monster doing under this bed?” the Hag screeched.

  Grundy scrambled off the bed and dashed across to Rapunzel. “Are you satisfied now?” he called to her. “You saw her break her word!”

  “There must be some misunderstanding,” Rapunzel breathed, distraught. “She couldn’t have meant to—”

  “Hey, old bag!” Grundy called to the Hag. “What are you going to do with me when you catch me again?”

  “I’m going to bite your troublesome little wooden head off, and spit it into the sea, Golem!” she called back. “Right after I hack this Bed Monster to pieces and cook it in the pot!”

  “No misunderstanding, as you can see,” Grundy said. “She’s an evil old woman, who has deceived you all along. She cares nothing for you, only for your body—whe
n she’s ready to take it for herself.”

  “No, no!” Rapunzel cried, completely shocked. “That can’t be true!”

  “Hey, old dog, how old are you?” Grundy called to the Hag. “Is it true you were born yesterday?”

  “I’m thousands of years old!” the Hag cried, stalking him again with the broom.

  “That’s impossible!” Grundy exclaimed. “You don’t look a day over a century!”

  “This body is only sixty years old,” the Hag said, swinging the broom. “I took it forty years ago from the last girl I raised in this Tower.”

  “Just as you are going to take Rapunzel’s body,” Grundy said sneeringly as he dodged the swipe. “Of course nobody believes such nonsense.”

  “Nonsense?” she screeched. “I’m a Sorceress, you contraption of rag!”

  “You mean to say you never cared for Rapunzel at all, old frump?”

  The Hag, intent on stalking him, had grown heedless of the damsel’s presence. “Of course not, Golem! No more than I cared for any of the fifty maidens I used before. They’re all mere fodder for my longevity.”

  Grundy saw Rapunzel lean against the wall as if about to faint. She had had enough. “Snortimer!” he cried in Monster-tongue. “When I douse the light, you go tie the damsel’s hair to the chair, get her out the window, and help her climb down. I’ll distract the Sea Hag.”

  Snortimer snorted agreement from under the bed. Then Grundy lunged at the lamp with his weapon, running it through. The glass chimney shattered; the flame shot high, then puffed out. They were in darkness.

  “Think that will save you, Golem?” the Hag cried, bashing at the spot with the broom.

  “No, but maybe this will,” he cried. He strode forward and plunged the hatpin where he judged one of her big feet was.

  He scored. The pin stabbed into bony flesh. The Hag let out an ear-splitting screech and jumped back. She wasn’t seriously damaged, for the leather of the boot protected her foot, but now she was twice as angry as before.

  There was an exclamation from Rapunzel. “Go with Snortimer!” Grundy cried to her. “Make yourself small, get on his back; he’ll take you safely down!”