The Devil's Due
“You know that Lugh can overpower you,” I said, wondering just how determined Lugh would be to make this phone call. Might he hurt Brian?
Not unless he wanted me as a permanent enemy. He had to know that.
Brian shrugged. “Yeah, I know. But if he has to overpower me, then the struggle should give you time to wake up.”
“True,” I agreed, stifling yet another yawn. I made one last attempt to look the gift horse in the mouth. “You have to go to work in the morning, don’t you?”
“I’ll be all right,” he assured me. “I’ll just pretend I’m a college kid pulling an all-nighter.”
I laughed weakly. Obviously, I had no defenses strong enough to defeat Brian. God, I loved him. Why didn’t that make everything easy between us?
“Thank you,” I said, though the words were inadequate to express what I felt.
Figuring I’d turn into a gibbering idiot if I stayed awake any longer, I gave Brian a quick, appreciative kiss, then led him to my bedroom.
Chapter 13
You know that feeling you get when you’re too tired to sleep? Well add the jitters of a couple gallons of coffee on top of that, and you’ll know exactly how I felt as I lay there in my bed trying to force myself to knock off.
Brian sat on the easy chair in the corner, reading by the light of a bulb so dim that it would give him eyestrain. I had my back turned to him—and to the light—but though I tried to pretend he wasn’t there, my every nerve seemed aware of him. I wanted him beside me in the bed, not across the room from me. I wanted his warmth and strength pressed up against me, his arms wrapped around me. I was too tired to want sex, but oh how I longed for that simple companionship.
If Brian was feeling any of the same feelings, he wasn’t showing it. I could tell by the steady turning of the pages that he actually was reading that book, not just staring at it blankly. I sucked in a deep, quiet breath and let it out slowly, trying to let my body relax.
Easier said than done. Even if I felt sure that Brian wouldn’t side with Lugh, even if I felt sure he’d recognize Lugh if he took over, I still figured I was in for some unpleasantness when I finally gave in to sleep. Lugh would no doubt tell me his opinion of my stubbornness, and he would try to lay a guilt trip on me. I was confident in my ability to resist his persuasion, but I wasn’t looking forward to the battle.
The bed dipped beside me, and I jumped. I hadn’t been even close to sleep, but I had been spaced out enough that I hadn’t heard Brian get up. His hand landed on my shoulder and gave a firm squeeze.
“Having trouble sleeping?” he asked.
Damn. I thought I’d been faking sleep better than that. I rolled onto my back and squinted up at him. He was silhouetted by the single light in the room, and I couldn’t see the expression on his face.
“I’ve had a lot of caffeine today,” I murmured in response. “The exhaustion will take over eventually.”
“Hmm,” he said, but it didn’t sound like an agreement. Without another word, he stood up and crossed the room, turning off the light and leaving the room cloaked in darkness.
I propped myself up on my elbows. “How are you going to stay awake in the dark all night?” I think there was a tinge of hysteria in my voice, but Brian just chuckled.
“I’ll turn it back on once you’re sound asleep,” he said.
Once again, the bed dipped under his weight. I was going to say something else pithy—though I don’t know what—but my words died in my throat when Brian pulled the covers slowly down my body.
When I’m by myself, I generally wear super-comfy PJs to bed, but when Brian’s around it’s either a slinky nightgown or nothing. Tonight, I’d gone with nothing. I’d been sure Brian wouldn’t make sexual overtures when I was so desperately in need of sleep. Shows how much I know.
“Brian…”
He chuckled again. “I know. Not tonight, you have a headache.”
I couldn’t help a little bark of laughter in response. “Something like that.”
His fingers came to rest at the base of my throat, then traced softly, slowly down my middle. I tried to protest, but my body had a will of its own, arching into the caress even though he didn’t touch any of my erogenous zones.
With a resigned sigh, I reached for him, but he gently nudged my hands away.
“No, no,” he said. “Tonight, I’m taking care of you. You don’t have to do a thing.”
I snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Those maddening fingers of his brushed over my nipple, and my breath hitched. “Nope,” he said, sounding cheerful. “I’m just going to give you a little stress relief to help you sleep.”
I squirmed under his touch. Although my body couldn’t help reacting to him, I really, truly wasn’t in the mood. Let me tell you, I have to be very off my game not to be in the mood when Brian is around. But before I could muster another protest, he had leaned over me and planted his lips on mine.
I resisted the pleasure of his kiss for, oh, ten seconds or so. But the brush of his tongue was so incendiary that it felt like every nerve in my body spontaneously combusted. To hell with being too tired for sex! I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung, a greedy, whimpering sound rising from my throat.
Once again, Brian pushed my hands out of the way, this time circling my wrists with his fingers and pinning them to the bed beside my head. He raised his head just enough to give him room to speak, even as I strained toward him. My eyes had adjusted to the dark, and I could see the mingled heat and determination in his eyes.
“I mean it, Morgan,” he said, then punctuated the statement with a delicate lick across the seam of my lips. “Tonight, it’s going to be all about you. So keep your hands to yourself and let me take care of you.”
My heart beat irregularly in my chest. I am not a passive lover, and the idea of lying here like some frigid Victorian lady while Brian had his way with me did not sit well. What the hell had gotten into him?
But, of course, I knew all too well.
“This is one of those goddamn dominance things, isn’t it?” I asked, trying to sound as irritated as I thought I ought to feel.
He nipped at my lower lip, then soothed the sting with his tongue. “It has nothing to do with that,” he assured me. “All I want is to give you some pleasure. I want to give, not take. No ulterior motives, no hidden agendas.”
I’d have argued with him, but he plunged his tongue into my mouth, and the only sound I could make was a moan.
The part of me that never stops thinking knew that whatever he might say, there was more to this than the simple giving of pleasure. If he hadn’t had his little chat with Lugh, it never would have occurred to him to do this. But my body told me in no uncertain terms that thinking was highly overrated. With my defenses weakened by sleep deprivation, I gave in to my body’s demands and stopped struggling to free my wrists.
As soon as I surrendered, Brian let go of my wrists, using one hand to draw maddening circles on the slope of my breast while his tongue tangled with mine. Instinct urged me to wrap my arms around him again, to hold him close to me and feel the warmth of his skin under my hands. I fought those instincts, kissing him back with every drop of my passion while I lay still beneath him.
There was an unaccustomed glitter in his eyes when he raised his head, along with a hunger I knew he planned not to sate, at least not tonight. I shivered, again not sure if it was because of anticipation or unease.
His head lowered once more, and he trailed kisses down my throat. I had to curl my hands into fists to keep from running my fingers through his hair. As he worked his way down, those circles he’d been drawing on my breast finally shrank until a single finger brushed my nipple, over and over. My back arched into that touch, but his hand moved away far before I was ready. The good news was his mouth was moving steadily south.
I didn’t completely understand the game he was playing until his mouth started circling my nipple, mimicking the pattern his fingers had ma
de before, and his hand slid down past my navel. When I realized that his mouth was going to continue following the trail blazed by his fingers, I practically came right then and there. Maybe if I hadn’t been so tired, I would have.
He moved so slowly it was all I could do to keep myself from screaming my impatience. Mouth and fingers working in perfect synchronization, circling, circling, circling, but never quite getting to their final destinations. When I arched my back to try to get my nipple into his mouth, he carefully compensated for the movement, just as his fingers did when I lifted my hips.
“You bastard,” I gasped, and his laughter buzzed against my skin, yet another erotic stimulus. Note to self: don’t amuse him again, it only makes the torment worse.
I groaned when his fingers circled close enough to my clit that, with just the tiniest hint more speed or pressure, I’d have gone off like a rocket. But he knew me too well, knew how to read every nuance of my responses so that he could keep me on that razor’s edge without pushing me over. I swallowed a number of curses and considered using a quick burst of power to roll us over so I was on top and could impale myself on him.
My few rational brain cells reminded me he was still fully clothed, but perhaps he’d sensed that thought, for his mouth left my breast and began once more following the trail of his fingers. I grabbed a double handful of the covers to remind myself to keep still. Because no matter what other emotions and desires were jumbling together within me, I knew with perfect clarity that I wanted his mouth to complete that journey.
He didn’t move any faster, despite my increasing desperation. I bit down on my lip to keep myself from begging. My breath came so short it was a good thing I didn’t hyperventilate, and my skin quivered and twitched under the artful caresses of his tongue.
I took a certain savage satisfaction in the fact that once Brian had made his way down to the juncture of my thighs, some of that inhuman control seemed to snap. Instead of teasing me mercilessly as he had with his fingers, his tongue took only a brief sample before he settled in to work in earnest. And then pleasure overrode every other thought and sensation until I swear I almost forgot how to breathe.
When the last spasm fluttered into oblivion, I felt like every muscle in my body had been transformed to jelly. My heart continued to gallop, my breaths continued to come out in short gasps, but there was no question that I was much more relaxed. Even with the lingering buzz of caffeine in my nerves, I found my eyelids heavy, my mind free.
Brian didn’t say anything, and he seemed content to let me drift in the afterglow while he himself went hungry. My eyes slid closed, and the last thing I remembered was Brian tucking the covers up under my chin and planting a chaste kiss on my forehead.
I awoke the next morning to the enticing scent of coffee. For a moment after I awoke, I just lay there, smelling the coffee while debating whether to let myself drop back into sleep. Then my brain cells started waking up, and I knew there would be no more sleep for me.
Rubbing bleary eyes, I sat up just as Brian pushed through my bedroom door carrying a mug that smelled heavenly.
“Good morning,” he said, smiling at me as he held out the mug.
I grunted something incoherent and tried not to spill anything as I snatched the mug from his hand and took a big gulp. I burned my tongue in the process, but I didn’t care. Even in my morning stupor, it occurred to me that the last thing I remembered was Brian tucking me in, which meant Lugh hadn’t bothered to ream me out last night. I should have been grateful. Instead, I merely felt uneasy.
“What time is it?” I asked, since he was standing between me and my bedside clock.
“Quarter after eleven,” he said, and I almost choked on my coffee.
Shaking my head in a futile attempt to clear the cobwebs, I leaned past him to double-check the clock, just in case he was yanking my chain, but he wasn’t.
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked, stifling a yawn.
“I took a personal day.”
For some reason, that admission made my eyes sting. Maybe just because Brian is usually so uptight, and I knew what a concession it was for him to stay home from work.
“Lugh and I had a bit of a chat last night,” he continued, and I froze.
“Shit,” I mumbled.
Brian laughed. “Relax. We didn’t discuss your sex life.”
“Glad to hear it,” I said unconvincingly. “What did you discuss?” I wrapped both hands around my mug, my skin soaking in the warmth as inside I shivered in a phantom chill. I really didn’t like the idea of Lugh and Brian talking.
“He told me about Tommy Brewster.”
“Tattletale,” I muttered under my breath.
“Were you ever going to tell me about this?” He didn’t sound particularly angry, which made me feel guilty. If he’d started scolding me for holding back, I could have torn into him for not letting me have my space. I’d probably have liked that better.
I shrugged, hoping I didn’t look as guilty as I felt. “Do you tell me about the cases you’re working on every day?”
“My cases aren’t likely to get me killed.”
I dismissed that with a wave of my hand. “This case isn’t dangerous. And I’m not doing anything official on it anyway. I’ve handed it off to Adam, so if anyone’s in danger, it’s him.”
“Hmm,” Brian said, and he didn’t sound particularly convinced. He did, however, drop the subject. Too bad I didn’t like the next subject any better. “Lugh also told me what you two are arguing about.”
I winced and mumbled another curse. Lugh and I were going to have another talk about respecting my privacy. “So he’s convinced you to argue his case, which is why he didn’t bother me last night.”
Brian grinned at me. “Actually, no. He tried to convince me to argue his case. I even told him I would. But frankly, I’d much rather stay out of the middle.”
I drank a little more coffee as I pondered his position. I supposed it made sense. Unless Lugh had convinced him that my safety was at stake, there was no reason to suspect Brian of siding against me. Of course, suspicion is second nature to me.
“He’s right about one thing,” Brian continued, and my suspicious nature leapt to the forefront.
“Aha!” I practically shouted. “Now comes the part where you argue his side while trying to sound like you’re not.”
Brian gave me a look of long-suffering patience. “If you’ll let me finish…” I bit my tongue and nodded. “As I was saying, he’s right that this is a battle you’re eventually going to lose. I can’t stay here to keep you awake every night, and you can’t stay awake indefinitely.”
Pissed off at him even though I didn’t really have any reason to be, I shoved the covers off and made a beeline for my closet to grab my robe. At least, that’s what I intended to do, but Brian took hold of my arm to stop me.
“Why are you angry with me?” he asked quite reasonably. “I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.”
I glared at his hand until he let go of me. I felt at a distinct disadvantage arguing with him while I was stark naked, so I put on my robe, giving myself a couple moments to calm down. I knew I was overreacting. I knew it wasn’t really Brian I was angry with. But somehow, that didn’t seem to help me fight off the anger.
“Instead of getting pissed about it,” Brian said, “why don’t you just sit down and talk to me and we’ll see if we can come up with a way out of the problem.”
I let out a huff of frustration. “There is no way out, as you just pointed out.”
Brian crossed the room and turned me to face him, his hands warm and solid on my shoulders. “We’ll find one, okay? Can you just assume I’m not the enemy and talk to me?”
The hint of hurt in his eyes made my heart ache, and before I knew what I was going to do, I had put my arms around him and squeezed tight.
“I know you’re not the enemy,” I murmured against his collarbone as he returned my embrace. “And I’m sorry I’m such
a bitch. I just… I want my life back, and I know I’m not going to get it, at least not anytime soon.”
“I understand,” he assured me. “And I love you even when you’re being bitchy.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “Good thing, that.”
His lips brushed the top of my head. “Yup.”
I laughed again, slapping his chest and taking a step back. “Jerk! You didn’t have to agree with me.”
He just grinned. I let the humor bleed out of me and retreated back to the bed, grabbing my coffee once more. Brian joined me, sitting close enough that I could feel the heat of his body beside me as I quietly sipped my coffee. He didn’t say anything, choosing instead to sit beside me in supportive, companionable silence. It felt surprisingly good. Domestic, even. And then Brian had to go and ruin it.
“You know,” he said softly. “If we were living together, we could have quiet mornings like this every day.”
My hand clenched on my mug, and I ground my teeth. It had been quite a while since he’d trotted that one out. I’d turned him down enough times in the past that I would have thought he’d have learned his lesson. I shook my head and refused to look at him.
“I’m really grateful to you for staying with me last night,” I said, “but we still have… issues. You know that.”
“You mean you have issues,” he countered, but he didn’t sound particularly upset.
I should have bristled, but somehow I couldn’t find the energy. “If one of us has an issue, then we both have an issue.” I put the coffee mug down and turned to face him. He was wearing his lawyer face, the one he wore when he didn’t want me to know what he was feeling. I hated that face, but I couldn’t blame him at the moment.
“Even if I totally forget about how you and Lugh have teamed up against me, I can’t forget that there are a lot of people out there who want to kill me, and they’re not the sort to worry if an innocent bystander gets hurt in the process.”