Lead

"He did a beautiful job with the eulogy."

  "Yes, he did."

  "And you did a great job of getting him through it."

  "Thanks." I studied my empty plate.

  "He hasn't had a lot of women around that he can depend upon," she said, her voice dropping volume. "Like he said, their mom took off early. Though I think that was probably a blessing. From what little David's told me, she wasn't someone you'd want around."

  "Jimmy doesn't tend to talk about her. He doesn't tend to talk about anything much at all, usually." I frowned off into space again. I'd learned more about him in the last couple of hours than I had in the last couple of months. It was a lot to take in. The way I saw him was altering today in all sorts of ways.

  "Yeah, Jimmy's not what you'd call chatty."

  I snorted. "That's putting it mildly. If I can get two words out of him about his appointments I'm doing well."

  "And yet you've survived the longest of them all." With a small sigh, Ev settled her hands over her tummy. She too had tried several of the desserts. "You're obviously doing something right."

  "Huh. I wonder what?" I stared at the ceiling some more, thinking deep thoughts.

  "I don't know. Maybe he likes you. Maybe he's lonely and just enjoys having you around."

  "Yeah, right. We are talking about the same Jimmy Ferris here? The rock star?"

  "Shame on you, Lena," she said, her smile belying her words. "You've been around long enough by now to know that being a rock star doesn't always mean what you think it does."

  "Maybe ..."

  "If he's guarded, it's for a reason."

  "He's talked to you about it?" I asked curiously.

  She barked out a laugh. "Ha, I don't think so. I'm pretty much kept at a polite distance like everybody else. But you never know, ask him nicely, he might just talk to you."

  I wrinkled my nose. Despite today's unprecedented events, the thought of Jimmy talking to me on a more regular basis as opposed to just barking out orders now and then seemed highly unlikely. "He might also just fire me for sticking my nose in his business."

  "True. These are the risks we take when we care about people."

  Something in the way she said that set me on edge. "Oh, no. Jimmy and I are strictly a business relationship."

  "I know." Her smile? I didn't trust it.

  With great thumping footsteps, David marched up to us. A small black-and-white pup squirmed in his hands, tail wagging madly. The man wasn't wearing his happy face. "The dog pissed on my shoe."

  "Oops." Ev gave him a wry grin.

  "It's not funny," grumped David, sounding so much like his brother for a moment they could have been twins. It was cute.

  "Well done, Killer." Mal lifted the dog from David's hands. "I'm proud of you, son."

  "He's not going to change the name?" asked Ev.

  Anne shrugged, reaching out to scratch the puppy's head. "I've kind of gotten used to it now."

  The pup had been a gift for Anne's birthday the week before, although Mal had already seen fit to bestow a name before gifting him. That Killer came with a luxury condo where pets were allowed probably took any possible sting out of the situation.

  Sure as hell, I wouldn't complain.

  A loud screech sounded from outside. Another promptly following fast. Only this time, the racket went on and on. It might have been an animal, except there were words contained within the furious caterwauling.

  "Is that a woman?" I asked, cringing.

  "What the hell?" Mal rushed to his feet, passing the puppy off to Anne.

  Mal and David ran for the door, Ev and I close behind them. Outside, cold air slapped me in the face after the warmth of the house. It was the strangest, most disturbing damn scene. Beneath the limbs of a maple tree, a lone woman was busy shrieking at Jimmy.

  What the hell, indeed.

  David ran toward them. "Mom. What are you doing here?"

  "You ungrateful fuck," the older woman cried, ignoring her youngest son completely. "You think I won't tell them everything?"

  Jimmy didn't even blink. "Go for it. I'm not giving you any more money. Already told you that this morning. What the hell did you think you were going to achieve showing up here?"

  She had long dark hair and cheekbones you could cut yourself on. The family resemblance was obvious, only her skin was sunken and her hair hung in knotted strands down her back.

  "Your threats don't scare me," she sneered.

  "Mom, this is a funeral. Get out of here," said David, taking a stand beside his brother.

  "Davie, you were always sweeter to me than he was. You'll help your poor old mom out, won't you?" Her voice was noxious, falsely sweet. "Just a loan, baby. I just need a little help getting back on my feet."

  The man's shoulders straightened. "From what I hear Jim's loaned you more than enough money and you've flushed it all down the toilet. Haven't you?"

  "I need my medicine."

  "Your medicine, what bullshit," sneered Jimmy. "What you need is to get your ass out of here before we call the cops."

  "Leave, Mom," said David. "This isn't right. We're here to say goodbye to Lori. Have a little respect, huh?"

  People were gathering on the front doorstep behind us, watching the horrible scene with their eyes wide and faces curious. The bitch just carried right on with her banshee imitation, regardless. How any mother could be so mean was beyond me, but what this must be doing to Jimmy was the real concern. God, this was the last thing he should be dealing with today.

  I quietly moved behind him, getting closer in case he needed me. The moment I got a chance to put an end to this shit, I was taking it.

  Their mother cackled. "What did that uptight judgmental cunt ever do but turn my boys against me, huh?"

  "C'mon, Mom. Give yourself some credit," said Jimmy, his voice cutting. "You did that all on your own years before we ever met Lori."

  The woman snarled at him, actually raising the side of her lip like a rabid animal. If she'd started frothing at the mouth it wouldn't have surprised me one bit. A potent mix of hate and lunacy filled her eyes. Little wonder Jimmy had his issues. I couldn't imagine being subjected to this from a young age.

  "You are nothing but a user," he said, getting in her face, taunting her. "A scum-sucking nasty piece of shit that we have the very bad luck to be related to. Now get the hell out of here before we call the cops on you. Tell the media what you want because like fucking hell I'm giving you another dollar to buy drugs with. And if you think there's any chance I'm letting you try the same shit on Dave, you're out of whatever's left of your mind."

  Her face turned purple like she was having a seizure.

  "Get out of here."

  Mouth contorted, she launched herself at him. Dirty nails raked his face, leaving raw jagged lines. Without thinking, I surged forward, jostling him. But Jimmy was too busy grabbing the woman's arms, trying to hold her back to bother with me. His brother just looked on, mouth agape. Insane with anger, the woman went at Jimmy again, teeth snapping.

  Blood fell from Jimmy's face and I'd long since seen red. Anger thundered through me, heating me despite the cold.

  The two brothers stood close together. Never mind. I pushed forward, wedging my body between them. Then I shoved the bitch hard in the middle of her chest. Jimmy obviously hadn't been expecting it. His hold on her faltered and the woman went sprawling back onto the cold, hard ground. Her thread-bare green coat fell open, revealing a faded summer dress. Her limbs were emaciated, littered with angry red sores. Good god, how was this woman even still alive?

  "I'll sue you!" she howled at me. "That's assault. You think I don't know shit?"

  Yeah, right. Little did she know, I didn't have anything worth suing for.

  "Don't even try it, Mom." Jimmy ever so gently elbowed me back behind him. "I'm dripping blood here. Unprovoked attack. Lena just defended me. Cops'll laugh at you if you try."

  "We'll see." The thin features of her face twisted with malice. Slowly, Mrs. Fer
ris climbed back up onto her feet, wrapping her coat tight around her body.

  Neither of her sons said a thing.

  "Stupid slut." She spat at me, then stumbled off across the lawn, onto the street. I'd never been so glad to see the back of someone before.

  "So there's no chance I'm going to go to jail, right?" I asked, just curious. All right, maybe the tiniest bit scared of the mad woman's threats.

  "Course you're not." Jimmy looked back over his shoulder at me. Three bloody lines were etched into his cheek.

  The sight brought the cold rushing back in. "We need to get your face cleaned up. Let's get inside."

  "You knew she was in town? Last I heard she was still in LA." David watched the retreating form of his mother, her long dark hair flying wild in the wind.

  "She tracked me down to the hotel, rang this morning."

  David's lips flat-lined. "Why didn't you say something?"

  "Got enough going on without worrying about her," said Jimmy.

  "Fuck's sake, man. She's my mother."

  "Yeah, mine too."

  His brother's forehead went all wrinkled. It must be a Ferris thing, they both did it at times of stress, bewilderment or just about any other emotion. Meanwhile, Jimmy hadn't moved an inch. He just stood there, bleeding.

  "It's cold," said David.

  Jimmy turned, giving their mom one last look. To all the world, his gaze must have looked bored, irritated. But the fingers fussing at the bottom of his jacket gave him away, to me at least. He wasn't nearly as unaffected as he'd wish everyone to believe. "What do you wanna do, put her in a shelter? She won't stay. Should we buy her some warmer clothes? She'll have them traded for booze and drugs in under a minute. It's all she cares about and all she wants."

  "Yeah, but ..."

  "But what?" asked Jimmy, blood slowly dripping from his face.

  "Shit." His brother shoved a hand through his shoulder length hair. They really were similar in so many ways. "Is it really that easy for you to just turn away?"

  "I know it's cold, Davie. I know."

  "Fuck man, you okay?" Mal asked.

  Jimmy flinched as if receiving the wound anew. "Yeah. I'm real sorry about that, her turning up here and everything ..."

  "Boys, this was not your fault." Everyone should have a dad like Mal's. His voice was absolute, brooking no bullshit. Jimmy's mouth opened to protest and Mr. Ericson held up a hand. "No, son. That's enough. Why don't we all go back inside now, get out of this wind."

  With the show over, the spectators on the front steps started moving back inside. Jimmy nodded and likewise did as he was told. I followed him and Mal into the downstairs bathroom, every part of me wound tight with agitation. I wasn't normally a violent person. What I wouldn't give to take another shot at the woman, however.

  The bathroom was a narrow, cramped space. Apparently the Ericsons hadn't upgraded with the help of their son's money. The house was an older-model, wooden two-story, surrounded with now-dormant flower beds. Photos lined the hallway showing all the colors that grew there in the spring, however. My mom loved gardening. She always fussed on the weekends in winter, never quite knowing what to do with herself. Usually she took up some expensive intricate craft that got dumped the moment the ground thawed. A sudden wave of homesickness washed over me.

  Which was silly.

  No way did I want to go home yet. After my sister's farce of a wedding, once all of the fuss had died down? Fine. Then I'd spend some time with my parents, reconnect, and make things right. I'd catch up with my old friends and see what was left for me back home. It was a promise.

  "Mom kept all the first aid stuff here." Mal rifled in the sink cupboard, pulling out a battered white box. "Ah, there you go."

  "It's not that bad," said Jimmy. "I'll just wash it off."

  "Definitely not," I said.

  "And risk letting that handsome face get infected?" Mal tutted, interceding flawlessly. "Please, princess. For me?"

  Jimmy gave him a faint smile and accepted the box.

  "And I'm pretty sure you'd rather have Lena playing nurse. I'll leave you two kids to it."

  I flattened myself against the wall and Mal squeezed past, backing out into the hallway. "Yell if you need anything."

  The lid on the old first aid box creaked mightily as Jimmy pulled it open. "Yeah."

  "Thank you." I smiled at Mal.

  He winked.

  "Right. Sit on the edge of the bathtub," I instructed, taking charge.

  Jimmy sat, inspecting the dark red stains on the front of his shirt. "This is ruined."

  "You've got others."

  "I had this made especially at Saville Road in London. You have any idea what something like that costs?"

  Please. The man had more money than god. "You hitting me up for a loan?"

  He snorted.

  "Because honestly, I don't know if I like you enough for that."

  "Wasn't aware you liked me at all," he said, smoothing down his shirt as if that would help matters. He was right, the thing deserved a one-way ticket to the ragbag.

  "Hmm. You're not so bad. I've met much, much worse." And we didn't really need to get into that anytime this decade. I snapped my mouth shut and pushed up my glasses, got busy digging in the medicine chest. "What have we've got here."

  "Listen, Lena, about today ..."

  I waited for him to finish. And waited. "What?"

  He scowled at the wall, avoiding my eyes completely. "I just ... I just wanted to say, ah ..."

  "Yes-s-s?"

  "Well, that um, you were useful."

  "I was useful?" My brows rise to dangerous heights, I could feel them. After everything we'd been through today, useful was as good as it got?

  A shrug. "Yeah, mostly."

  "Mostly? I was mostly useful." Slowly, I shook my head, biting back an incredulous grin. Lucky my sense of self-worth wasn't dependent on him or it'd be a sad, shriveled wreck hiding out in the corner by now. This man, he did my head in. It seemed only fair to repay the favor in kind. "I think that's just about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, Mr. Ferris. It was just beautiful, like poetry. I'll never think of the word useful the same way ever again."

  He sniffed disdainfully, giving me a dour look. "Great. And it was mostly useful."

  "Yes, sorry, mostly useful. Wow. I just don't know how to thank you."

  "Less talk'd be a good start. Let's get this over with."

  "Yes, sir. Right away, sir." I stopped short of saluting, but only just.

  Down the hallway drifted various noises as the wake slowly started winding down. There was the clink of plates and cutlery being gathered. I could hear Mal saying goodbye to someone followed by the hair-raising bang of the front door. It must have been caught by the wind. Some old Bob Dylan tune played low beneath it all.

  "You're welcome by the way," I said, softening my voice, cutting him a break. His day, after all, had been far worse than mine. Plus, it obviously wasn't easy for him to say thank you. Not that he'd exactly managed to. "I'm glad I was here to help."

  He looked up at me, eyes unguarded. At least, they weren't cold and hard for a change.

  "Me too," he said quietly.

  For a moment, I actually forgot myself. We just stared at each other in near silence, like we were waiting for something or trying to figure something out. I don't know. It was weird.

  Then he turned away.

  "Lena, hello?" He pointed to his cheek. "I'm still bleeding here."

  "Right," I ripped into a fresh pad of gauze, then got busy wrestling with the lid on the disinfectant. Stupid childproof locks. "Let's see if we can't fix you." When I sneaked a look he was staring off into infinity again, I'd apparently been tuned out.

  "This'll sting," I said, liberally dousing the gauze. "Who knows how dirty her nails were. We need to clean it really well."

  He wrinkled his nose at the smell. "Don't pretend you're not going to enjoy it."

  "You wound me. As if I'd ever enjoy causing you
mild pain or discomfort." I couldn't quite keep the smile off my face. Of course, I didn't quite bother. Verbally sparring with Jimmy was fast becoming more fun than I'd had with most other men naked. Which was sad.

  Real sad.

  Carefully, I started cleaning him up, wiping the blood from his cheek. I was trying not to overthink things but my mind refused to slow down. We'd now touched more in one day than I'd ever imagined possible. Judging by my ongoing heart condition, this was not good. I scrunched up my face, concentrating. This new heightened awareness of him was driving me insane. We hadn't connected, not really. It was just because of today being so overemotional and everything. There'd been more drama, highs and lows, than I'd experienced in ages and putting it all into perspective would take some time. Tomorrow we'd head back to Portland and things would revert to normal with Jimmy largely ignoring my existence. There was no need to freak out.

  At any rate, I couldn't quit on the guy right now. Talk about kicking someone when they were down.

  He winced. "Ouch."

  "Don't be such a baby."

  If only my stupid hands would stop trembling, giving me away. Happily, Jimmy didn't seem to notice. The more I tended to his face, the madder I got. Honestly, what an absolute shit of a day. Mal lost a wonderful mother while Jimmy and David suffered via their very alive and deeply crappy one. Where the hell was the justice in that?

  Several packets of gauze and a sea of disinfectant later, we were done. If the bitch had scarred him I'd do worse than push her on her ass next time. Just to be safe, I smeared enough antibiotic cream on the ragged wounds to turn the side of his face snowman white.

  "I wish I'd hit her harder," I said. "I'm sorry, I know she's your mother, but ..."

  "Don't pull that shit again," he said. "She's not rational, Lena. You could have gotten hurt."

  "Ha. Then you'd have to listen to me bitch."

  "Like hell."

  "You wouldn't play Nurse Jimmy for me? How sad." I laughed softly. If I could just keep things light and easy everything would be okay. Or at least, as light and easy as things ever got between us. The air of misery around him, however, made it impossible to keep a distance.

  "It wasn't your fault," I said.

  He turned away, hands tight around the first aid kit making it creak again. "Finished?"

  Carefully, I kept rubbing the cream in. The main problem with me is my mouth. In that I have one and use it far more than I probably should. It's especially irritating when its hell-bent on bringing forth information that only serves to make me look dumb. "I dated this guy once who sold my car to score weed."