Off the Record

  Ever is hot sex wrapped up in orgasmic bliss. But honestly, as I look at her now, sitting on the deck and reading a book with the sun shining down on her hair, I want to just pick her up and hug her. That is so anti-Linc, that I almost laugh at myself.

  I step out onto the deck and Ever looks up at me. The sun is shining in her face and the light has made her pupils constrict and her irises to lighten to a pale blue. The contrast with her dark hair is startling to my senses.

  "What are you reading?"

  She closes the book and lays it on her lap. "Oh, just your typical steamy, romance novel."

  My eyebrows rise up. I would never have pegged Ever to read romance. I mean...she's brilliant and no nonsense. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Plus, she's coming off a bad relationship where her ex-schmuck cheated on her. I can't imagine romance is something that floats her boat right now.

  I sit down on the lounge chair next to her. "So...what's in a steamy, romance novel? Is the sex as good as what we have?"

  Ever snorts. "No way. Doesn't even come close."

  I settle back and close my eyes. "That's good. I'd hate to have to read one of those just to get some pointers."

  Ever doesn't reply and I let myself get lulled by the warm afternoon sun and the smell of wild sagebrush growing in the nearby field. I'm restful and at peace. I nearly fall asleep and I'm not even sure if it's the beginning of a dream, but a soft, heat settles over my lap.

  My eyes open lazily and I am stunned to find Ever straddling me without a stitch of her clothing on. Her hands are resting on her thighs and she's looking at me with the promise of my complete undoing.

  My gaze travels to her breasts, which are full, her nipples already hard.

  "What are you doing?" I manage to rasp out.

  "You know what I'm doing," she says with a sinful smile. She brings her hands down to the hem of my shirt and lifts it over my head. I have to lean up a bit for her to get it off, and it brings her in contact with the full blown erection that started straining the confines of my jeans the minute I saw her naked body straddling me.

  She leans over and she flicks the wetness of her tongue over one of my nipples and my hips buck, while my hands reach around to grab her ass. I push her down on me and the friction is about the kill me. She's about to kill me. Her lips wrap around that same nipple and she sucks on it lightly, then bites.

  "Fuck, Ever." I had never realized how sensitive my own nipples were and I bet if I let her go to town on them, I'd probably fire off early just from that warm, wet touch.

  "Let's go inside," she says.

  I stand up from the chair and she wraps her legs around me. "No way. Inside is too far away."

  She giggles into my neck. "It's just five steps away from where we are right now."

  I kiss her, stopping her words. Her arms wrap around my head and she groans into me.

  "Five steps...too far," I tell her before my hand goes in between her legs. God, she's so wet and throws her head back when I cup her. I love the look of utter abandon on her face and if I don't get inside of her--like right now--I think I might perish.

  I spin around, looking wildly for something to brace against. The deck railing...that will work and it's high enough to suit my purposes. I bring my forearm under her ass to hoist her up a bit and push her back into the wooden edge. With my other hand, I reach down and undo my fly. I glance into her eyes once and they are hooded and now completely dark. I grab my dick and the contact of my own hand against myself feels way too good. It's about to feel better.

  Positioning myself and Ever, I lower her down while her hands clutch onto my shoulders. Her eyes flutter close as she impales herself on me and I swallow hard. This isn't going to last long and I bite the inside of my cheek to do something...anything...to get my mind centered.

  She opens her eyes and looks at me.

  "How are you doing?" I ask her.

  She uses her hands to gain leverage and her hips for stability. She raises herself up, then lowers back down again. "I'm good," she gasps and I pray my knees don't buckle over the exquisite sensation of Ever riding me.

  She does it again, licking her bottom lip, and the image of her pushing herself up and down on me is my undoing. I push her back harder into the deck rail and bend my knees. On her next move up, I grip her hips and slam into her.

  Ever cries out and I stop. "Did I hurt you?"

  "No," she says, even as she's shaking her head. "Do it again."

  I comply, pulling back and ramming back in again. This sound comes out of me...it's like an animal attacking, and it both thrills and scares me at the same time. Nothing has ever felt this good.

  Nothing.

  My hips start pumping into her and she wraps her arms all the way around me, hanging on for dear life while I pummel her body. I hope this isn't too rough but my body is on auto pilot. I can't shut it down nor do I want to.

  She feels too fucking amazing, wrapped around me.

  Ever is gasping hard for breath, and thankfully she moans into my ear, "Feels good...don't stop."

  I have no intention of stopping...ever. My Ever.

  Just as I feel Ever sink her nails into my scalp, her body stiffens and she clamps down on my dick hard...really hard. I think I'm feeling a powerful orgasm tear through her and I can't hold out any longer. I come so hard, so long...my knees almost give way but I somehow manage to stay upright.

  Even after I am empty, my hips still thrust against her shallowly, trying to milk every ripple of ecstasy out of my body.

  When I finally regain my senses, I stumble backward, falling onto the deck chair that started this wild ride. Ever falls against my chest and lets out a shaky breath.

  "Oh, my..." she says.

  "Yeah...oh, my..." I stroke my hands up along her back and I feel very possessive about this woman in my arms. Things are changing for me so fast, that I wonder what has happened to the Linc Caldwell that subsisted on booty calls and was firmly against monogamy.

  Ever's breath is soft against my chest, and as the lazy Wyoming sun starts to warm my body again, I drift off into sleep.

  I've decided to take Ever out on the town. Jackson Hole is fairly small, and outside of a few really great restaurants, art and jewelry stores, there's not much else. Except for the Million Dollar Cowboy bar. It's practically an institution unto itself.

  Ever looks right at home. She purchased a pair of cowboy boots today and she's wearing them paired with a flowered skirt that skims just above her knees, a plain white t-shirt that hugs her breasts with care, and a denim jacket. It's a good thing she has the denim jacket on, because she's not wearing a bra and I get an occasional glimpse of a hard nipple poking through.

  She keeps looking with longing at the bar. "Come on, Linc. Let's just go sit at the bar for one drink."

  "No," I say emphatically. "I'm not about to have you flashing half your leg trying to get up on the barstool.

  She grins cheekily at me but I smolder just a bit. The barstools here are actually cowboy saddles stuck on top of a metal pole. If she were to set her pretty ass on one of those things, her skirt would hike up practically to her hips.

  Her lip is stuck out in a pout but I won't budge on that. I figure if I'm going to have those proprietary feelings toward her, I might as well go all the way.

  We nurse our beers and watch the band. I'm not into country music but "When in Rome", right? The dance floor is packed with people doing the two-step and I unwillingly find my own foot tapping to beat of the music. Glancing at Ever, she's enjoying herself, both of her heels tapping the floor and her shoulders moving.

  When a slow song comes on, the parade of people two-stepping by slows, and they all start swaying together. I stand and Ever looks up at me. I just hold my hand out to her and she takes it willingly.

  Leading her onto the dance floor, her hand feels so right in mine. I pull her into my arms and she lays her cheek against my chest, her hands on my shoulder.

  "This is nice," she murmurs. r />
  I make a sound of agreement in my throat. I rest my lips against the top of her head and I can smell her strawberry shampoo. I don't think I'll ever look at another strawberry again without thinking of the way Ever smells. The way she tastes.

  "I'm glad you declined my dinner invitation that day I met you."

  She pulls her head back and looks at me with surprise. "Really?"

  "Yeah. Think about it. We probably would have gone out to dinner, you would have written a really nice article about me, you would have gone on assignment, and we probably would have forgotten each other."

  A small smile creeps onto her face. "You know...I think you may be right."

  I lean down and give her a soft kiss. It's one of thankfulness for the amazing circumstances I find myself in. "I'm actually really glad you wrote that article. It threw us together. And I'm really glad I have you in my life. I think something was missing until I met you."

  Ever stiffens slightly in my arms and she doesn't respond. She just lays her head back on my chest.

  "Did I say something wrong?" I ask her.

  She looks up at me again and her gaze looks uneasy. "No...it's just...I thought this was just sex. I thought that was all Linc Caldwell did...just sex."

  I want to reassure her that is not all there is to me. I want her to know that for some reason, she's become more to me than just a great fuck. "Ever...everyone grows and changes. Maybe I'm changing. Maybe you're changing me."

  I had hoped to see relief in her eyes. I had hoped she would kiss me and tell me that was fucking fantastic. I wanted her to say that something was missing in her life too until she met me.

  Instead, she shakes her head sorrowfully. "I'm sorry, Linc. But I just don't feel that way. I can't feel that way."

  Then she steps out of my arms and walks off the dance floor.

  I'm lying in bed next to Linc. He has me spooned into him, his arms wrapped tightly around me. His breathing is even and relaxed.

  I am anything but.

  Yesterday had actually threatened to destroy my sanity. I had thought I had firm control over my feelings. But yesterday, when Linc and I had sex on the deck, something shifted inside of me. It was like that hard block of ice around my heart started rattling, threatening to expose a vulnerable crack. His actions were intense and raw. I was stripped naked, but he made me feel more exposed and vulnerable...stripped to my core...with the way he moved inside of me.

  And then at the cowboy bar last night...my stomach actually lurches at the memory. Our dance had been so sweet. A welcome change from the intense way we lose ourselves to each other sexually. But then he ruined it with his words.

  I think something was missing until I met you.

  He said that to me and that block of ice rattled again...and I swear, I could actually feel a crack run down the middle. But then I thought of Marc...and my father...and I knew that I could not take what he was saying as truth. I reasoned to myself that he was just feeling high on our mutual attraction to each other. He was translating the perfectness of sex into something deeper.

  Yes, Linc was starting to make me feel. And I can't let that happen again.

  So I said the words that needed to be said. I told him that I couldn't feel that way about him.

  His look...just before I walked off the dance floor...he was crushed. A sharp pain ran through me at the thought of his feelings being hurt, but I steeled myself against it. I had to protect myself.

  I didn't have it in me to suffer the pain of Linc loving me and leaving me. I just couldn't risk it.

  When we got back to the cabin last night, I had every intention of telling Linc that it was over. That we couldn't continue on this sexual odyssey upon which we had embarked. Every time he touched me, I could feel my resolve weakening. But he took me in his arms, and told me that he was sorry for the words he had said. He told me that he didn't want to freak me out, and that he understood that I had just come out of a bad relationship.

  He had said, "Ever, I can be satisfied if sex is all we have. We'll make it work."

  And just like that, I melted into him. He had reassured me that our hearts would remain detached and our bodies satisfied. And I chose to believe him. I needed to believe him.

  And it had become so natural...the way we came together, our clothes just seemed to dissolve. We fell into bed and fell into each other. Rather than think about all of the ways that both of us could get screwed out of this deal, I chose to concentrate on the way he made my body feel. And he didn't disappoint. He never disappoints.

  I look at the clock beside the bed. I need to get up. I still have to pack so I can catch my early afternoon flight. I have a layover in Houston, then I'll fly direct into Raleigh and to my mom. I can't wait to see her. To sit on the front porch, and drink sweet tea, and talk about our lives.

  Gingerly moving Linc's arm off of me, I start to slide away from him. But apparently Linc isn't sleeping as deeply as I thought. His arm tightens around me and pulls me back into his body. I can feel his hardness against my butt and my body immediately floods with desire. I can't wait to see my mom, but I have to admit...I am going to miss waking up in his arms.

  Linc wastes no time. His hand slides down between my legs and before long, he is inside of me. He moves leisurely, despite my urgings to go faster. He kisses me the entire time, never breaking contact with our lips. Our bodies are so in tune with one another, the minute he feels the rumblings of my orgasm coursing through me, he follows me to completion.

  As our heart rates slow, he nuzzles my neck. I stroke his arms, trying to hold on to this feeling for as long as I can.

  "Well, we better get up and get us packed," he says.

  I thought it was a slip of the tongue. "You mean get me packed."

  "No, I mean get us packed. I'm going with you to North Carolina."

  I push out of Linc's arms and turned to face him. "You're not going to North Carolina with me."

  "Yes, I am."

  "You weren't invited, Linc."

  "I'm inviting myself. Besides, you agreed to spend six weeks with me, and I expect you to abide by it."

  I want to get angry at him. I want to tell him he is being pushy and overbearing, but God help me...I want him to go with me. And while I can still firmly say that I cannot do a relationship with him, I still want him beside me.

  "I'll stay in a hotel. I won't impede on your time with your mom," he says, as an extra means of securing my assent. But he doesn't need to do that. I want him too much to be apart from him for a few days.

  "No, it's okay. My mom has plenty of room at her house. Although we'll have to sleep in separate rooms."

  The smile he gives me is blinding, and that ice box in my chest rattles again. "No. I'll stay in a hotel. I want you to be able to come over there and let me have my way with you, at least three times a day."

  "Only three times? You're getting slack on me."

  "You cannot insult my manliness like that and expect to get away with it." He pulls me back into his arms and starts kissing my neck while his hand comes up to palm my breast. I sigh into his touch and hope to God we aren't late getting to the airport.

  We are waiting to board our connection from Houston to Raleigh and I'm watching Linc. Because we were relatively secluded in Wyoming, Linc didn't get many people that recognized him. But walking through the Houston airport, he's had a few people ask him for autographs. He is so gracious with everyone, stopping to chat and ask them personal questions.

  A slam of regret hits me hard for the things I said about him in that article. I painted him so crudely and he is anything but. I hope my next article can make it up to him. So that he can see that I see him for what he is. A genuine man.

  Linc is talking on the phone right now. He got the call about ten minutes ago and he stepped away for some privacy. The look on his face is grave and I hope everything is okay back home. He drags his hand through his hair, an action I've come to recognize as frustration. He did it two nights ago as we sat at
the dining room table and played Rummy. I beat him hand after hand and I thought he'd pull his hair out at some point.

  They finally call us to board, and Linc walks behind me as we make our way to our seats. He's still on the phone and I can hear snippets of what he is saying.

  "Well, get on the phone with Barry and see if the rumor is true."

  "Yeah, I get that this could go down quickly."

  "No...I mean...what can I do. It's not my decision, is it?"

  "Fine, call me tomorrow and give me an update."

  Linc puts his phone in his pocket and we take our seats. He's sitting near the window and looking out. I can feel tension radiating off of his body, and while I don't want to care...I can't help but do.

  Taking his hand in mine, I ask, "Is everything okay?"

  He turns slowly to look at me. He glances down at my fingers laced with his, and then back to me. "This has to be off the record, okay?"

  "Of course," I assure him.

  "That was my agent. He says there is a rumor floating around that New York wants to trade me to open up room under the salary cap." His voice sounds dejected and although I've tried hard to keep the temperature low on my heart, I can feel it starting to melt a bit for him.

  "I'm sorry. I'm not sure what that really means, but I can tell that you're not liking that."

  He sighs, and there goes the hand raking through his hair. The other hand squeezes mine, as if the contact is reassuring to him. "It's part of being a professional athlete. You get traded. I just hate the thought of leaving my dad and Nix."

  "Where would you go?"

  "Apparently they approached the Phoenix Coyotes and are willing to take some prime draft picks for the trade."

  "Is it a done deal?"

  "Not yet. The teams are just talking now. I'll know more in a few days."

  "How does that affect you? I mean, outside of having to move to away from your family?"

  Linc shrugs his shoulders. "It doesn't really. I mean...I'll miss my teammates like crazy. But my contract stays the same. Phoenix will have to pay the contract out as is."

  "I'm sorry," I say. I want to take him in my arms and hold him, but the airplane isn't conducive to that. "I know what it's like to move away from your loved ones."