History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter iv.

  In which the arrival of a man of war puts a final end to hostilities,and causes the conclusion of a firm and lasting peace between allparties.

  A serjeant and a file of musqueteers, with a deserter in theircustody, arrived about this time. The serjeant presently enquired forthe principal magistrate of the town, and was informed by my landlord,that he himself was vested in that office. He then demanded hisbillets, together with a mug of beer, and complaining it was cold,spread himself before the kitchen fire.

  Mr Jones was at this time comforting the poor distressed lady, who satdown at a table in the kitchen, and leaning her head upon her arm, wasbemoaning her misfortunes; but lest my fair readers should be in painconcerning a particular circumstance, I think proper here to acquaintthem, that before she had quitted the room above stairs, she had sowell covered herself with a pillowbeer which she there found, that herregard to decency was not in the least violated by the presence of somany men as were now in the room.

  One of the soldiers now went up to the serjeant, and whisperedsomething in his ear; upon which he stedfastly fixed his eyes on thelady, and having looked at her for near a minute, he came up to her,saying, "I ask pardon, madam; but I am certain I am not deceived; youcan be no other person than Captain Waters's lady?"

  The poor woman, who in her present distress had very little regardedthe face of any person present, no sooner looked at the serjeant thanshe presently recollected him, and calling him by his name, answered,"That she was indeed the unhappy person he imagined her to be;" butadded, "I wonder any one should know me in this disguise." To whichthe serjeant replied, "He was very much surprized to see her ladyshipin such a dress, and was afraid some accident had happened toher."--"An accident hath happened to me, indeed," says she, "and I amhighly obliged to this gentleman" (pointing to Jones) "that it was nota fatal one, or that I am now living to mention it."--"Whatever thegentleman hath done," cries the serjeant, "I am sure the captain willmake him amends for it; and if I can be of any service, your ladyshipmay command me, and I shall think myself very happy to have it in mypower to serve your ladyship; and so indeed may any one, for I knowthe captain will well reward them for it."

  The landlady, who heard from the stairs all that past between theserjeant and Mrs Waters, came hastily down, and running directly up toher, began to ask pardon for the offences she had committed, beggingthat all might be imputed to ignorance of her quality: for, "Lud!madam," says she, "how should I have imagined that a lady of yourfashion would appear in such a dress? I am sure, madam, if I had oncesuspected that your ladyship was your ladyship, I would sooner haveburnt my tongue out, than have said what I have said; and I hope yourladyship will accept of a gown, till you can get your own cloaths."

  "Prithee, woman," says Mrs Waters, "cease your impertinence: how canyou imagine I should concern myself about anything which comes fromthe lips of such low creatures as yourself? But I am surprized at yourassurance in thinking, after what is past, that I will condescend toput on any of your dirty things. I would have you know, creature, Ihave a spirit above that."

  Here Jones interfered, and begged Mrs Waters to forgive the landlady,and to accept her gown: "for I must confess," cries he, "ourappearance was a little suspicious when first we came in; and I amwell assured all this good woman did was, as she professed, out ofregard to the reputation of her house."

  "Yes, upon my truly was it," says she: "the gentleman speaks very muchlike a gentleman, and I see very plainly is so; and to be certain thehouse is well known to be a house of as good reputation as any on theroad, and though I say it, is frequented by gentry of the bestquality, both Irish and English. I defy anybody to say black is myeye, for that matter. And, as I was saying, if I had known yourladyship to be your ladyship, I would as soon have burnt my fingers ashave affronted your ladyship; but truly where gentry come and spendtheir money, I am not willing that they should be scandalized by a setof poor shabby vermin, that, wherever they go, leave more lice thanmoney behind them; such folks never raise my compassion, for to becertain it is foolish to have any for them; and if our justices did asthey ought, they would be all whipt out of the kingdom, for to becertain it is what is most fitting for them. But as for your ladyship,I am heartily sorry your ladyship hath had a misfortune, and if yourladyship will do me the honour to wear my cloaths till you can getsome of your ladyship's own, to be certain the best I have is at yourladyship's service."

  Whether cold, shame, or the persuasions of Mr Jones prevailed most onMrs Waters, I will not determine, but she suffered herself to bepacified by this speech of my landlady, and retired with that goodwoman, in order to apparel herself in a decent manner.

  My landlord was likewise beginning his oration to Jones, but waspresently interrupted by that generous youth, who shook him heartilyby the hand, and assured him of entire forgiveness, saying, "If youare satisfied, my worthy friend, I promise you I am;" and indeed, inone sense, the landlord had the better reason to be satisfied; for hehad received a bellyfull of drubbing, whereas Jones had scarce felt asingle blow.

  Partridge, who had been all this time washing his bloody nose at thepump, returned into the kitchen at the instant when his master and thelandlord were shaking hands with each other. As he was of a peaceabledisposition, he was pleased with those symptoms of reconciliation; andthough his face bore some marks of Susan's fist, and many more of hernails, he rather chose to be contented with his fortune in the lastbattle than to endeavour at bettering it in another.

  The heroic Susan was likewise well contented with her victory, thoughit had cost her a black eye, which Partridge had given her at thefirst onset. Between these two, therefore, a league was struck, andthose hands which had been the instruments of war became now themediators of peace.

  Matters were thus restored to a perfect calm; at which the serjeant,though it may seem so contrary to the principles of his profession,testified his approbation. "Why now, that's friendly," said he; "d--nme, I hate to see two people bear ill-will to one another after theyhave had a tussel. The only way when friends quarrel is to see it outfairly in a friendly manner, as a man may call it, either with a fist,or sword, or pistol, according as they like, and then let it be allover; for my own part, d--n me if ever I love my friend better thanwhen I am fighting with him! To bear malice is more like a Frenchmanthan an Englishman."

  He then proposed a libation as a necessary part of the ceremony at alltreaties of this kind. Perhaps the reader may here conclude that hewas well versed in antient history; but this, though highly probable,as he cited no authority to support the custom, I will not affirm withany confidence. Most likely indeed it is, that he founded his opinionon very good authority, since he confirmed it with many violent oaths.

  Jones no sooner heard the proposal than, immediately agreeing with thelearned serjeant, he ordered a bowl, or rather a large mug, filledwith the liquor used on these occasions, to be brought in, and thenbegan the ceremony himself. He placed his right hand in that of thelandlord, and, seizing the bowl with his left, uttered the usualwords, and then made his libation. After which, the same was observedby all present. Indeed, there is very little need of being particularin describing the whole form, as it differed so little from thoselibations of which so much is recorded in antient authors and theirmodern transcribers. The principal difference lay in two instances;for, first, the present company poured the liquor only down theirthroats; and, secondly, the serjeant, who officiated as priest, drankthe last; but he preserved, I believe, the antient form, in swallowingmuch the largest draught of the whole company, and in being the onlyperson present who contributed nothing towards the libation besideshis good offices in assisting at the performance.

  The good people now ranged themselves round the kitchen fire, wheregood humour seemed to maintain an absolute dominion; and Partridge notonly forgot his shameful defeat, but converted hunger into thirst, andsoon became extremely facetious. We must however quit this agreeableassembly for a while, and attend Mr Jones to Mrs Wate
rs's apartment,where the dinner which he had bespoke was now on the table. Indeed, ittook no long time in preparing, having been all drest three daysbefore, and required nothing more from the cook than to warm it overagain.