History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter v.

  An adventure which happened to Mr Jones at his lodgings, with someaccount of a young gentleman who lodged there, and of the mistress ofthe house, and her two daughters.

  The next morning, as early as it was decent, Jones attended at MrsFitzpatrick's door, where he was answered that the lady was not athome; an answer which surprized him the more, as he had walkedbackwards and forwards in the street from break of day; and if she hadgone out, he must have seen her. This answer, however, he was obligedto receive, and not only now, but to five several visits which he madeher that day.

  To be plain with the reader, the noble peer had from some reason orother, perhaps from a regard for the lady's honour, insisted that sheshould not see Mr Jones, whom he looked on as a scrub, any more; andthe lady had complied in making that promise to which we now see herso strictly adhere.

  But as our gentle reader may possibly have a better opinion of theyoung gentleman than her ladyship, and may even have some concern,should it be apprehended that, during this unhappy separation fromSophia, he took up his residence either at an inn, or in the street;we shall now give an account of his lodging, which was indeed in avery reputable house, and in a very good part of the town.

  Mr Jones, then, had often heard Mr Allworthy mention the gentlewomanat whose house he used to lodge when he was in town. This person, who,as Jones likewise knew, lived in Bond-street, was the widow of aclergyman, and was left by him, at his decease, in possession of twodaughters, and of a compleat set of manuscript sermons.

  Of these two daughters, Nancy, the elder, was now arrived at the ageof seventeen, and Betty, the younger, at that of ten.

  Hither Jones had despatched Partridge, and in this house he wasprovided with a room for himself in the second floor, and with one forPartridge in the fourth.

  The first floor was inhabited by one of those young gentlemen, who, inthe last age, were called men of wit and pleasure about town, andproperly enough; for as men are usually denominated from theirbusiness or profession, so pleasure may be said to have been the onlybusiness or profession of those gentlemen to whom fortune had made alluseful occupations unnecessary. Playhouses, coffeehouses, and tavernswere the scenes of their rendezvous. Wit and humour were theentertainment of their looser hours, and love was the business oftheir more serious moments. Wine and the muses conspired to kindle thebrightest flames in their breasts; nor did they only admire, but somewere able to celebrate the beauty they admired, and all to judge ofthe merit of such compositions.

  Such, therefore, were properly called the men of wit and pleasure; butI question whether the same appellation may, with the same propriety,be given to those young gentlemen of our times, who have the sameambition to be distinguished for parts. Wit certainly they havenothing to do with. To give them their due, they soar a step higherthan their predecessors, and may be called men of wisdom and vertu(take heed you do not read virtue). Thus at an age when the gentlemenabove mentioned employ their time in toasting the charms of a woman,or in making sonnets in her praise; in giving their opinion of a playat the theatre, or of a poem at Will's or Button's; these gentlemenare considering the methods to bribe a corporation, or meditatingspeeches for the House of Commons, or rather for the magazines. Butthe science of gaming is that which above all others employs theirthoughts. These are the studies of their graver hours, while for theiramusements they have the vast circle of connoisseurship, painting,music, statuary, and natural philosophy, or rather _unnatural_, whichdeals in the wonderful, and knows nothing of Nature, except hermonsters and imperfections.

  When Jones had spent the whole day in vain enquiries after MrsFitzpatrick, he returned at last disconsolate to his apartment. Here,while he was venting his grief in private, he heard a violent uproarbelow-stairs; and soon after a female voice begged him for heaven'ssake to come and prevent murder. Jones, who was never backward on anyoccasion to help the distressed, immediately ran down-stairs; whenstepping into the dining-room, whence all the noise issued, he beheldthe young gentleman of wisdom and vertu just before mentioned, pinnedclose to the wall by his footman, and a young woman standing by,wringing her hands, and crying out, "He will be murdered! he will bemurdered!" and, indeed, the poor gentleman seemed in some danger ofbeing choaked, when Jones flew hastily to his assistance, and rescuedhim, just as he was breathing his last, from the unmerciful clutchesof the enemy.

  Though the fellow had received several kicks and cuffs from the littlegentleman, who had more spirit than strength, he had made it a kind ofscruple of conscience to strike his master, and would have contentedhimself with only choaking him; but towards Jones he bore no suchrespect; he no sooner therefore found himself a little roughly handledby his new antagonist, than he gave him one of those punches in theguts which, though the spectators at Broughton's amphitheatre havesuch exquisite delight in seeing them, convey but very little pleasurein the feeling.

  The lusty youth had no sooner received this blow, than he meditated amost grateful return; and now ensued a combat between Jones and thefootman, which was very fierce, but short; for this fellow was no moreable to contend with Jones than his master had before been to contendwith him.

  And now, Fortune, according to her usual custom, reversed the face ofaffairs. The former victor lay breathless on the ground, and thevanquished gentleman had recovered breath enough to thank Mr Jones forhis seasonable assistance; he received likewise the hearty thanks ofthe young woman present, who was indeed no other than Miss Nancy, theeldest daughter of the house.

  The footman, having now recovered his legs, shook his head at Jones,and, with a sagacious look, cried--"O d--n me, I'll have nothing moreto do with you; you have been upon the stage, or I'm d--nablymistaken." And indeed we may forgive this his suspicion; for such wasthe agility and strength of our heroe, that he was, perhaps, a matchfor one of the first-rate boxers, and could, with great ease, havebeaten all the muffled[*] graduates of Mr Broughton's school.

  [*] Lest posterity should be puzzled by this epithet, I think proper to explain it by an advertisement which was published Feb. 1, 1747.

  N.B.--Mr Broughton proposes, with proper assistance, to open an academy at his house in the Haymarket, for the instruction of those who are willing to be initiated in the mystery of boxing: where the whole theory and practice of that truly British art, with all the various stops, blows, cross-buttocks, &c., incident to combatants, will be fully taught and explained; and that persons of quality and distinction may not be deterred from entering into _A course of those lectures_, they will be given with the utmost tenderness and regard to the delicacy of the frame and constitution of the pupil, for which reason muffles are provided, that will effectually secure them from the inconveniency of black eyes, broken jaws, and bloody noses.

  The master, foaming with wrath, ordered his man immediately to strip,to which the latter very readily agreed, on condition of receiving hiswages. This condition was presently complied with, and the fellow wasdischarged.

  And now the young gentleman, whose name was Nightingale, verystrenuously insisted that his deliverer should take part of a bottleof wine with him; to which Jones, after much entreaty, consented,though more out of complacence than inclination; for the uneasiness ofhis mind fitted him very little for conversation at this time. MissNancy likewise, who was the only female then in the house, her mammaand sister being both gone to the play, condescended to favour themwith her company.

  When the bottle and glasses were on the table the gentleman began torelate the occasion of the preceding disturbance.

  "I hope, sir," said he to Jones, "you will not from this accidentconclude, that I make a custom of striking my servants, for I assureyou this is the first time I have been guilty of it in my remembrance,and I have passed by many provoking faults in this very fellow, beforehe could provoke me to it; but when you hear what hath happened thisevening, you will, I believe, think me excusable. I happened to comehome several hours before my usual time, when I found four gentlemenof the cloth at w
hist by my fire;--and my Hoyle, sir--my best Hoyle,which cost me a guinea, lying open on the table, with a quantity ofporter spilt on one of the most material leaves of the whole book.This, you will allow, was provoking; but I said nothing till the restof the honest company were gone, and then gave the fellow a gentlerebuke, who, instead of expressing any concern, made me a pert answer,`That servants must have their diversions as well as other people;that he was sorry for the accident which had happened to the book, butthat several of his acquaintance had bought the same for a shilling,and that I might stop as much in his wages, if I pleased.' I now gavehim a severer reprimand than before, when the rascal had the insolenceto---In short, he imputed my early coming home to----In short, he casta reflection----He mentioned the name of a young lady, in a manner--insuch a manner that incensed me beyond all patience, and, in mypassion, I struck him."

  Jones answered, "That he believed no person living would blame him;for my part," said he, "I confess I should, on the last-mentionedprovocation, have done the same thing."

  Our company had not sat long before they were joined by the mother anddaughter, at their return from the play. And now they all spent a verychearful evening together; for all but Jones were heartily merry, andeven he put on as much constrained mirth as possible. Indeed, half hisnatural flow of animal spirits, joined to the sweetness of his temper,was sufficient to make a most amiable companion; and notwithstandingthe heaviness of his heart, so agreeable did he make himself on thepresent occasion, that, at their breaking up, the young gentlemanearnestly desired his further acquaintance. Miss Nancy was wellpleased with him; and the widow, quite charmed with her new lodger,invited him, with the other, next morning to breakfast.

  Jones on his part was no less satisfied. As for Miss Nancy, though avery little creature, she was extremely pretty, and the widow had allthe charms which can adorn a woman near fifty. As she was one of themost innocent creatures in the world, so she was one of the mostchearful. She never thought, nor spoke, nor wished any ill, and hadconstantly that desire of pleasing, which may be called the happiestof all desires in this, that it scarce ever fails of attaining itsends, when not disgraced by affectation. In short, though her powerwas very small, she was in her heart one of the warmest friends. Shehad been a most affectionate wife, and was a most fond and tendermother. As our history doth not, like a newspaper, give greatcharacters to people who never were heard of before, nor will ever beheard of again, the reader may hence conclude, that this excellentwoman will hereafter appear to be of some importance in our history.

  Nor was Jones a little pleased with the young gentleman himself, whosewine he had been drinking. He thought he discerned in him much goodsense, though a little too much tainted with town-foppery; but whatrecommended him most to Jones were some sentiments of great generosityand humanity, which occasionally dropt from him; and particularly manyexpressions of the highest disinterestedness in the affair of love. Onwhich subject the young gentleman delivered himself in a languagewhich might have very well become an Arcadian shepherd of old, andwhich appeared very extraordinary when proceeding from the lips of amodern fine gentleman; but he was only one by imitation, and meant bynature for a much better character.