History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter iv.

  In which Sophia is delivered from her confinement.

  The squire and the parson (for the landlord was now otherwise engaged)were smoaking their pipes together, when the arrival of the lady wasfirst signified. The squire no sooner heard her name, than heimmediately ran down to usher her upstairs; for he was a greatobserver of such ceremonials, especially to his sister, of whom hestood more in awe than of any other human creature, though he neverwould own this, nor did he perhaps know it himself.

  Mrs Western, on her arrival in the dining-room, having flung herselfinto a chair, began thus to harangue: "Well, surely, no one ever hadsuch an intolerable journey. I think the roads, since so many turnpikeacts, are grown worse than ever. La, brother, how could you get intothis odious place? no person of condition, I dare swear, ever set foothere before." "I don't know," cries the squire, "I think they do wellenough; it was landlord recommended them. I thought, as he knew mostof the quality, he could best shew me where to get among um." "Well,and where's my niece?" says the lady; "have you been to wait upon LadyBellaston yet?" "Ay, ay," cries the squire, "your niece is safeenough; she is upstairs in chamber." "How!" answered the lady, "is myniece in this house, and does she not know of my being here?" "No,nobody can well get to her," says the squire, "for she is under lockand key. I have her safe; I vetched her from my lady cousin the firstnight I came to town, and I have taken care o' her ever since; she isas secure as a fox in a bag, I promise you." "Good heaven!" returnedMrs Western, "what do I hear? I thought what a fine piece of workwould be the consequence of my consent to your coming to townyourself; nay, it was indeed your own headstrong will, nor can Icharge myself with having ever consented to it. Did not you promiseme, brother, that you would take none of these headstrong measures?Was it not by these headstrong measures that you forced my niece torun away from you in the country? Have you a mind to oblige her totake such another step?" "Z--ds and the devil!" cries the squire,dashing his pipe on the ground; "did ever mortal hear the like? when Iexpected you would have commended me for all I have done, to be fallenupon in this manner!" "How, brother!" said the lady, "have I evergiven you the least reason to imagine I should commend you for lockingup your daughter? Have I not often told you that women in a freecountry are not to be treated with such arbitrary power? We are asfree as the men, and I heartily wish I could not say we deserve thatfreedom better. If you expect I should stay a moment longer in thiswretched house, or that I should ever own you again as my relation, orthat I should ever trouble myself again with the affairs of yourfamily, I insist upon it that my niece be set at liberty thisinstant." This she spoke with so commanding an air, standing with herback to the fire, with one hand behind her, and a pinch of snuff inthe other, that I question whether Thalestris, at the head of herAmazons, ever made a more tremendous figure. It is no wonder,therefore, that the poor squire was not proof against the awe whichshe inspired. "There," he cried, throwing down the key, "there it is,do whatever you please. I intended only to have kept her up tillBlifil came to town, which can't be long; and now if any harm happensin the mean time, remember who is to be blamed for it."

  "I will answer it with my life," cried Mrs Western, "but I shall notintermeddle at all, unless upon one condition, and that is, that youwill commit the whole entirely to my care, without taking any onemeasure yourself, unless I shall eventually appoint you to act. If youratify these preliminaries, brother, I yet will endeavour to preservethe honour of your family; if not, I shall continue in a neutralstate."

  "I pray you, good sir," said the parson, "permit yourself this once tobe admonished by her ladyship: peradventure, by communing with youngMadam Sophia, she will effect more than you have been able toperpetrate by more rigorous measures."

  "What, dost thee open upon me?" cries the squire: "if thee dost beginto babble, I shall whip thee in presently."

  "Fie, brother," answered the lady, "is this language to a clergyman?Mr Supple is a man of sense, and gives you the best advice; and thewhole world, I believe, will concur in his opinion; but I must tellyou I expect an immediate answer to my categorical proposals. Eithercede your daughter to my disposal, or take her wholly to your ownsurprizing discretion, and then I here, before Mr Supple, evacuate thegarrison, and renounce you and your family for ever."

  "I pray you let me be a mediator," cries the parson, "let mesupplicate you."

  "Why, there lies the key on the table," cries the squire. "She maytake un up, if she pleases: who hinders her?"

  "No, brother," answered the lady, "I insist on the formality of itsbeing delivered me, with a full ratification of all the concessionsstipulated."

  "Why then I will deliver it to you.--There 'tis," cries the squire. "Iam sure, sister, you can't accuse me of ever denying to trust mydaughter to you. She hath a-lived wi' you a whole year and muore to atime, without my ever zeeing her."

  "And it would have been happy for her," answered the lady, "if she hadalways lived with me. Nothing of this kind would have happened undermy eye."

  "Ay, certainly," cries he, "I only am to blame."

  "Why, you are to blame, brother," answered she. "I have been oftenobliged to tell you so, and shall always be obliged to tell you so.However, I hope you will now amend, and gather so much experience frompast errors, as not to defeat my wisest machinations by your blunders.Indeed, brother, you are not qualified for these negociations. Allyour whole scheme of politics is wrong. I once more, therefore,insist, that you do not intermeddle. Remember only what is past."----

  "Z--ds and bl--d, sister," cries the squire, "what would you have mesay? You are enough to provoke the devil."

  "There, now," said she, "just according to the old custom. I see,brother, there is no talking to you. I will appeal to Mr Supple, whois a man of sense, if I said anything which could put any humancreature into a passion; but you are so wrongheaded every way."

  "Let me beg you, madam," said the parson, "not to irritate hisworship."

  "Irritate him?" said the lady; "sure, you are as great a fool ashimself. Well, brother, since you have promised not to interfere, Iwill once more undertake the management of my niece. Lord have mercyupon all affairs which are under the directions of men! The head ofone woman is worth a thousand of yours." And now having summoned aservant to show her to Sophia, she departed, bearing the key with her.

  She was no sooner gone, than the squire (having first shut the door)ejaculated twenty bitches, and as many hearty curses against her, notsparing himself for having ever thought of her estate; but added, "Nowone hath been a slave so long, it would be pity to lose it at last,for want of holding out a little longer. The bitch can't live forever, and I know I am down for it upon the will."

  The parson greatly commended this resolution: and now the squirehaving ordered in another bottle, which was his usual method whenanything either pleased or vexed him, did, by drinking plentifully ofthis medicinal julap, so totally wash away his choler, that his temperwas become perfectly placid and serene, when Mrs Western returned withSophia into the room. The young lady had on her hat and capuchin, andthe aunt acquainted Mr Western, "that she intended to take her niecewith her to her own lodgings; for, indeed, brother," says she, "theserooms are not fit to receive a Christian soul in."

  "Very well, madam," quoth Western, "whatever you please. The girl cannever be in better hands than yours; and the parson here can do me thejustice to say, that I have said fifty times behind your back, thatyou was one of the most sensible women in the world."

  "To this," cries the parson, "I am ready to bear testimony."

  "Nay, brother," says Mrs Western, "I have always, I'm sure, given youas favourable a character. You must own you have a little too muchhastiness in your temper; but when you will allow yourself time toreflect I never knew a man more reasonable."

  "Why then, sister, if you think so," said the squire, "here's yourgood health with all my heart. I am a little passionate sometimes, butI scorn to bear any malice. Sophy, do you be a good girl, and doeverything your aun
t orders you."

  "I have not the least doubt of her," answered Mrs Western. "She hathhad already an example before her eyes in the behaviour of that wretchher cousin Harriet, who ruined herself by neglecting my advice. Obrother, what think you? You was hardly gone out of hearing, when youset out for London, when who should arrive but that impudent fellowwith the odious Irish name--that Fitzpatrick. He broke in abruptlyupon me without notice, or I would not have seen him. He ran on along, unintelligible story about his wife, to which he forced me togive him a hearing; but I made him very little answer, and deliveredhim the letter from his wife, which I bid him answer himself. Isuppose the wretch will endeavour to find us out, but I beg you willnot see her, for I am determined I will not."

  "I zee her!" answered the squire; "you need not fear me. I'll ge noencouragement to such undutiful wenches. It is well for the fellow,her husband, I was not at huome. Od rabbit it, he should have taken adance thru the horse-pond, I promise un. You zee, Sophy, whatundutifulness brings volks to. You have an example in your ownfamily."

  "Brother," cries the aunt, "you need not shock my niece by such odiousrepetitions. Why will you not leave everything entirely to me?" "Well,well, I wull, I wull," said the squire.

  And now Mrs Western, luckily for Sophia, put an end to theconversation by ordering chairs to be called. I say luckily, for hadit continued much longer, fresh matter of dissension would, mostprobably, have arisen between the brother and sister; between whomeducation and sex made the only difference; for both were equallyviolent and equally positive: they had both a vast affection forSophia, and both a sovereign contempt for each other.